Business lunches

[SOnotLayuh]

I have a question - simply for curiosity's sake.

DH's new job (which is what the majority of my posts seem to be about lately) has an employee birthday or just random lunch date at least once a week. This is a great opportunity for him to get to know the people at the company and cement his position IMO. All jobs in NC have a "90 day trial period", where any time during that or right after the 90 days an employer can just decide that you weren't right for the company. This is weird, because we are also the type of state where employer/employee can terminate the relationship at *any* point without reason. Though termination can happen at any time, the first 90 days are especially pressure-full.

Now, while I can't imagine ever telling DH *not* to go to one of these lunches due to budgetary concerns, it does annoy me because it takes out of our dining/entertainment money. We don't have that much money to spare out of the budget, and that section is pretty much nonexistent... and definitely does become so after he has to go out to lunch with his office. DH takes his lunch every day, as there is no prior warning to when they will be going out. He is one of those incredible skinny, tall men who have an uuber fast metabolism so he feels like this: because he gets to eat twice on those days

So what do you do about company lunches like this? Do you go, for reputation's sake, or do you politely decline and eat your packed lunch?

 

[bettymae1121]

Since he is so new, I think he should continue to go (as you said, he needs to build relationships within the company). Once he's more established he can start to decline some of the invitations, though he should still go now and again. It's nice to spend time with your co-workers in a more social setting every once in a while.

 

[ceecee]

Since he is so new, I think he should continue to go (as you said, he needs to build relationships within the company). Once he's more established he can start to decline some of the invitations, though he should still go now and again. It's nice to spend time with your co-workers in a more social setting every once in a while.

I agree, if he declines the other employees may not think he is friendly, etc. Sometimes you just do what the majority does, at least until he is a little more established.

 

[SOnotLayuh]

I definitely agree that he should keep going - and I'm always excited for him! I wish I could find a job... and that the people who were my coworkers were as awesomely friendly.

Is this sort of thing common? We haven't been graduates for very long, and DH's last full time job never had this sort of thing.

 

[prncess674]

I work in consulting for a large firm. If it is a large group of peers (8 or more) people honestly won't remember if you were there or not. If it is a smaller group and my direct supervisor is attending I go simply for the networking aspect with supervisors.

If you are worried about the expense have an honest discussion with DH about how to order frugally (order water and a lunch special or salad.) I would also make sure that DH has small bills so he can throw in exact change.

 

[dex08]

I save my receipts for all non-reimbursed business meals and itemize/deduct at the end of the year on my taxes.

 

[prncess674]

I save my receipts for all non-reimbursed business meals and itemize/deduct at the end of the year on my taxes.

going out to lunch, paying for your own meal and celebrating "Joe Blow's" birthday is a slippery slope for deductibility. There needs to be a business purpose and business discussion for the meal to be deductible.

 

[Justsyd2]

I would encourage your DH to go and enjoy himself! He needs to be seen as a team player, and I think that's totally worth having a meal out once a week! I mean, really, anyone can eat lunch for around $10. What is your DH ordering?

 

[brymolmom]

I disagree with the $10 assumption...I would assume around $15.

Especially since oftentimes you just split the bill - at least that's what we do. So even if you don't order a drink for $2 - you still get stuck splitting evenly.

When we go out to lunch most entrees are usually in the $6 - $9 range (usually including chips or fries) - add in the $2 drink that brings it to $10 right there - plus a couple dollars for tip. I would say budget $12 - $15 for lunch- unless it's at more expensive places.

And I think that once a week isn't too much. Try to shave off the $12 somewhere else.

Oh and for birthday lunches we always spring for the birthday person - so that adds another $2 - $4 onto my cost depending how many people are there to split the costs.

 

[tar heel]

That's not true about all jobs in North Carolina having a 90-day probationary period. Some have NONE. My company has 60 days. My son's is six months, a period he is in right now.

 

[SOnotLayuh]

That's not true about all jobs in North Carolina having a 90-day probationary period. Some have NONE. My company has 60 days. My son's is six months, a period he is in right now.

Wow I had no idea! Every job we've both ever had since 16 year olds had the 90 day policy.

I see you're in Concord - how awesome! I grew up there

 

[Priorityonecb]

Another NC'er here. Dh is in the same field, and they go out to lunch about the same frequency. He goes, because it's good for morale and it's a good networking tool and on some level show's he is a team player. But, on the days that he goes to lunch he doesn't eat his packed lunch. He just saves it for the next day and eats it then. (He is not a sandwich kind of guy so anything he takes will be just fine the next day).

 

[Teresa Pitman]

Not to sidetrack this thread - but I just want to say how much I HATE it when I go out to lunch with a group of people and they decide to just split the bill evenly. I don't usually drink alcohol (especially during a work lunch) and I'm vegan so my meal is usually something pretty cheap (a salad, maybe a plain pasta). But then I have to split the cost with all the people who had lobster, steak and two drinks.

It just feels really unfair to me. I get that it makes the math easier, but I'd rather just ask for separate bills in the beginning.

Teresa

 

[Priorityonecb]

I agree! I have a very small appetite and often just get a bowl of soup, or a salad or an appetizer for lunch and almost always drink water. Not for financial reasons, it's just what I want mid day. To split the tab equally with drinkers and heavy eaters seems wrong to me too.

 

[Belle1962]

We can have anywhere from 2 - 12 of us going to lunch. We always ask for separate checks at the beginning of the meal and have NEVER had anyone say no.

That being said--I used to go out to lunch 3 - 4 times per week. Since I've been home for six weeks I can't believe the amount of money I am saving!!! When I return to work I will be only going to lunch once a week. (At least that's my goal )

 

[rockundergirl]

I know exactly what your talking about! I work for a small internet company and my direct boss is he owner of the company. We go to trade shows and all my food is covered, even some drinks. But for example when we went to a trade show in Vegas I ended up blowing a few hundred of my own money , just to keep up with my boss. Seems dumb right... nope.. from making sure I'm a go with the flow employee and that I can "hang" I have become a trusted friend of my boss, unlike the other people at my office who never hang out never network.. they get left behind on important stuff. It really sucks but you gain a position of power by being social. Also it depends on what you do for a living . My friends boyfriend works for a local gym and goes out with his friends from work every night.. thats not networking imo lol .

 

[lila]

This is a no brainer - he needs to go to these lunches, and he also should not complain when/if the group splits the bill equally.

 

[bethy]

This is a no brainer - he needs to go to these lunches, and he also should not complain when/if the group splits the bill equally.

HUGE Ditto. It's just one of the costs of working - like commuting and wardrobe. Once per week isn't very often at all. Networking and building relationships is more than half the battle in building a successful career.

Once he is a LOT more established he can pick and choose a little more and bow out as he sees fit. He'll have a much better grasp on what the unspoken social mores are and who he really needs to be networking with.

 

[Gigi22]

A lot of restaurants just will not issue separate bills for groups over a certain number--it varies. You get one bill and wind up dividing it, and then trying to figure out individual totals for everyone just looks cheesy. Inevitably someone gets suck with the math at the end, and winds up putting in "extra" to make up for someone either forgetting the tax, or to put in for a tip for the server. Been there, done that.

 

[seashoreCM]

Why not go to some but not all of the lunches?

For those lunches you don't go to, you can say you need to catch up on the workload.

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