BUSH TWINS DEMAND REGIME CHANGE AT T.G.I. FRIDAYS
Seek Support From Other Twins, Drunks
First Twins Barbara and Jenna Bush today called for a regime change at the T.G.I. Fridays in Austin, Texas, citing the current regimes insistence on what they termed an inhumanely early closing time.
We have warned T.G.I. Fridays not to close at 2 A.M. again and again and again, Jenna Bush told an anti-Fridays rally in Austin, where the twins are attempting to rally other twins, drunks, and twin drunks.
Barbara Bush added that the bartenders at Fridays had failed to comply with her demands to double the amount of Kahlua used in its White Russian recipe.
Despite our many requests to let us go behind the bar and fix these drinks ourselves, we have been rebuffed, Barbara Bush said.
Even as they tried to build support for their cause, the hard-partying pair left little doubt that when it comes to regime change at Fridays, they are fully prepared to go it alone.
Rack up a line of tequila shooters, give us a couple of baseball bats, and were going in, said Jenna Bush. If I may quote the Incredible Hulk, Its clobberin time.
In other Bush family news, President George W. Bush, who served as a Yale football cheerleader during the Vietnam War, announced today that several other prominent retired Yale cheerleaders now support military action in Iraq.
The retired Yale cheerleaders, armed with blue-and-white Yale megaphones, appeared on Capitol Hill today and attempted to drown out a group of retired Army generals who had been urging caution.
****Borowitz Reports****
Seek Support From Other Twins, Drunks
First Twins Barbara and Jenna Bush today called for a regime change at the T.G.I. Fridays in Austin, Texas, citing the current regimes insistence on what they termed an inhumanely early closing time.
We have warned T.G.I. Fridays not to close at 2 A.M. again and again and again, Jenna Bush told an anti-Fridays rally in Austin, where the twins are attempting to rally other twins, drunks, and twin drunks.
Barbara Bush added that the bartenders at Fridays had failed to comply with her demands to double the amount of Kahlua used in its White Russian recipe.
Despite our many requests to let us go behind the bar and fix these drinks ourselves, we have been rebuffed, Barbara Bush said.
Even as they tried to build support for their cause, the hard-partying pair left little doubt that when it comes to regime change at Fridays, they are fully prepared to go it alone.
Rack up a line of tequila shooters, give us a couple of baseball bats, and were going in, said Jenna Bush. If I may quote the Incredible Hulk, Its clobberin time.
In other Bush family news, President George W. Bush, who served as a Yale football cheerleader during the Vietnam War, announced today that several other prominent retired Yale cheerleaders now support military action in Iraq.
The retired Yale cheerleaders, armed with blue-and-white Yale megaphones, appeared on Capitol Hill today and attempted to drown out a group of retired Army generals who had been urging caution.
****Borowitz Reports****
