Bruises = being abused?????

[Stitchfans]

Today when I went to drop off some papers at my insurance agents she noticed that most of my left knee is badly bruised. After she asked me what happened she commented on how it looks like I had been beaten. Why is that often people's first reaction? I can see how spouses can get in to trouble even when they are innocent.

Before any one else asks. I went to a Kenny Chesney concert Saturday night with DDs. There was a huge section in the parking lot that was all mud. Even though I tip toed and walked slowly I still fell. Yes I know I should of went out of my way to go around it. Any way, I fell in front of a parked car and luckly that is how I got back up since I was slipping in the mud as I tried to get back up. I sure was a mess. As a matter of fact my capris are ruined.

But as I said it I wonder why that is people's first reaction that someone has beaten you?

 

[Conservative Hippie]

DH gave me a black eye once when we were dating...he is over a foot taller than me and we hadn't quite gotten the physics of it down yet. I was leaning up to kiss him, he leaned down, and his chin banged right into my eye.

 

[Honu]

I get a bruise if you point at me.

I'm constantly asked by people, even doctors and nurses who know why I bruise so easy, if someone is hurting me.

 

[Stitchfans]

I get a bruise if you point at me.

I'm constantly asked by people, even doctors and nurses who know why I bruise so easy, if someone is hurting me.

I admit I bruise easily too. As a matter of fact when I was younger and married to my first husband he and I would wrestle/playfully rough house once in a while. He would grab me and leave finger marks on me which turned in to bruises. Try explaining to people that no we were not fighting just "playing"

 

[bigmerle1966]

I could see if it was your face, upper arms or back but your knee?

 

[Imzadi]

Since I live so close to Times Square which used to quite the XXX-rated neighborhood, I used to tell people when they noticed bruised on my legs, that my p**p beat me.

I get bruses & cuts all the time. I never remember where I get them from.

 

[RNMOM]

Yep, I bruise easily too. I went to the ER a couple years ago cause I got a cut on my arm when I broke a big earthenware bowl in the water. Dang thing just jumped up and cut my arm. The ER doc was just about to call the social worker cause I was dropped off and DH didn't come in with me. It was his Bday and I wanted him to have his cake with the boys. I am a big girl and can get stiches by myself, thank you. Anyway, I have bruises on my forearm all the time cause I am forever bumping into the door knobs in my house. Let's just say I am a "wide load" and I have a lot of twists and turns with knobs sticking out in the halls.

Bruises are my life. Always have been.

 

[bigmerle1966]

I get bruses & cuts all the time. I never remember where I get them from.

Me either and the ones you could swear are going to bruise don't.

 

[OK!]

I bruise easily and badly, too, and once had a really nasty bruise on my left upper arm that I got as a result of being outside gardening and running afoul of a wasp. I turned to run into the house, with the wasp in hot pursuit, and as I grabbed the doorknob and threw my upper body sideways against the front door to escape into the house, I discovered that someone'd locked the front door behind me. HUGE bruise from the moulding on the door that was easily visible in short sleeves.

Fast-forward to a week or so later when some of us girls were chatting at work and one lady asked about what had happened to my arm. I told the (stupid) story, and one of my friends said, "Oh, I just thought you were into rough sex." So scarily enough, sometimes abuse isn't the first thing people guess!

 

[Stitchfans]

Fast-forward to a week or so later when some of us girls were chatting at work and one lady asked about what had happened to my arm. I told the (stupid) story, and one of my friends said, "Oh, I just thought you were into rough sex." So scarily enough, sometimes abuse isn't the first thing people guess!

Very funny. Never thought of that. Wish I had.

 

[iggbees]

i bruise really easily too. i once woke up after a night of partying with both of my knees bruised, very badly. all i did was fell while getting up, it wasn't that hard. i always am waking up with new bruises and ask my boyfriend if he's been beating me up at night.

my grandma bruises at touch (the medication she's taking). she's constantly joking about how my grandpa beats her up.

 

[Luv'sTink]

My parents were turned into child protection when I was in kindergarten for abuse, I had to see a psychiatrist and they finally figured out I just bruise easy. That was a looooong time ago.

My OB asked me about it one time because my legs were covered, but she believed me when I told her I just bruise easy.

I always tell DH he better be nice to me because I could have his butt in a sling fast, if I wanted to....:: I bruise on my legs, arms and body but not on my face.

 

[Mickey&Donald]

Somewhat related to this... A couple of years ago, we had a power outage in our neighborhood at 10pm. I was wandering through the house looking for a flashlight or a candle, and I literally walked smack into a wall. With my nose. Yup, it broke.. and the next day I had purple bruises under my eyes. When I got to work, this woman took one look at me, and without asking how it happened, said, "Honey, did your husband do that to you?" Um. Seriously, why is that the first assumption?

I understand that domestic abuse is a serious issue, but I just don't get why someone would say something like that without ASKING first.

 

[kbkids]

When I was in the hospital having my first baby - long story, lots of issues - but they had so many IVs in me that both of my arms were COVERED in bruises. Fast forward a few days from then, I'm in NICU visiting with my new baby and noticed one of the nurses keep looking down at my arms. It dawned on me eventually that she was warily checking out my bruises and then watching my DH. I laughed and told her it was from all my IVs, and she just smiled cautiously and said, "Well, you never know." Luckily, we knew several of the nurses in the NICU, so I'm assuming they stood up for my poor DH.

 

[Hixski]

I bruise easy but it always seems worse in the summer when they all show. DH is a big guy so some people ASSUME he must be a beater. Anyone who knows me knows that I would send his butt packing if he ever touched me. Still it bothers me to think people think that of him just because he is a big guy. My brother sadly has tried for years to convince my parents my DH is abusive. He has no basis for this analysis but still he persists. Needless to say this has caused problems between all of us.

 

[Beth76]

I bruise easily too, on my arms and legs. Both of my boys' legs (shins) are covered with bruises too. Fortunately, my pediatrician says she'd be worried if they didn't have bruises because then they wouldn't be normal boys. Both of them also had a black eye 80% of the time between ages 1-2.

 

[chamonix]

Last summer I had a horrible kidney stone incident and I passed out from the pain. I hit my head on the bathroom door on the way to the floor, then dh opened the door into my forehead (a couple of times, I was out cold and he coudn't get in, lol). I had a black eye (which eventually spread to the other eye as well) huge scrape (scab) on my forehead, and I was really swollen all over that side of my face, one eye almost swollen shut. Basically I looked like Frankenstein or Quasi Modo. Even dark glasses didn't cover it up, and I looked ridiculous (and fooled noone) wearing them indoors the whole time, like in the grocery store.

I was whining to dh that I didn't want to go out of the house anywhere because everyone would stare at me and he said, "No, they're all staring at me". He was right. People would look at my face, then immediately look at him and glare. He's not intimidating looking at all, he's not big and scary or anything, lol. I felt so bad for him. Unfortunately it lasted for like 2 weeks! I realized then that I always assume someone got in a fight when I see a black eye, but I should be thinking car accident, falling, whatever, who knows? Learned my lesson about rushing to judgement when I walked a mile in those shoes, I mean, in those dark glasses.

When people would ask me what happened and how I got the black eye...I had to say, "Kidney Stone". That always threw em for a loop, lol.

 

[azgal81]

I bruise really easily! I just noticed one on the top of my knee not even on the knee but up higher. No idea how I got it can't see how I could manage to bang my leg there.

It is sad though that is the first reaction from others when they see a bruise.

 

[Ms.Grumpy]

Two years ago I had gallstones and they put an IV in my arm and the nurse poked me three times because she could not find my vein . The following day my arm was yellow, blue, purple, and looked terrible. When I went to work, I work in a headstart, my parents stared at my arm with shock! They asked the other teacher if I was on drugs!

 

[kangareaux]

Queen of the clutzes here!

I bruise easily too, but luckily, it's usually on my upper arms and thighs. (I get nasty huge ones on my thighs and can never remember where they come from)

But the worst are the *stupid* injuries that I DO remember.

Walked into a door frame. (Yep...seriously! In BROAD DAYLIGHT in my OWN home! ) Left a NICE scrape and bruise above my brow and down the side of my face. Yup....I got the looks.

Same door frame....different incident. Walked into it with my arm/shoulder this time. There happened to be a teeny tiny little nail head protruding. Big ole gash just above my elbow. Not deep enough for stitches, but very visible and really ugly. Yup....got the looks again!

Other arm... Burned it taking a cookie sheet out of the oven. (hold cookie sheet in right hand. close over with left. cookie sheet sears into flesh of left arm as it raises to close oven door. ) Did this not ONCE, but TWICE!!! (I now leave the oven door open until i set the cookie sheet on the stove...LOL!)

Thank goodness most of my friends know DH and know he'd never hurt me! (We have this deal....He won't hurt me and i won't hurt him back. And vise versa. Neither of us are violent beople, but I think if one ever did intentionally cause the other physical harm though, all bets would be off! )