Bristol Palin and DWTS results

[luvmy3]

It has nothing to do with perfect kids. However, knowing what they are writing on Facebook and knowing my kids aren't posting homophobic slurs is something else. And that is called parenting.

And what if your kid ever does? How do we know SP didn't say/think the same thing before her kids actually did it?

 

[LiberalPrincess]

And what if your kid ever does? How do we know SP didn't say/think the same thing before her kids actually did it?

And that is again where parenting comes in. My kids have done some not nice stuff along the way, but homophobic remarks are never in the mix. After 16 years of knowing your child, I would think you would have a pretty good handle on that. Someone doesn't just bust out with remarks like that on a public forum without thinking it is ok.

 

[penn19]

It has nothing to do with perfect kids. However, knowing what they are writing on Facebook and knowing my kids aren't posting homophobic slurs is something else. And that is called parenting.

But from what I am reading, it does have everything to do with perfect kids. "perfect" kids don't use any type of slur. "imperfect" kids, well they just had lousy parenting.
But I guess my thought would be, if your child (and a general you) knew that you were monitoring their fb, do you really think they would post their true thoughts and feelings?
I agree that if your mom is in the public eye you should know better than to probably even HAVE a fb account really, but I think what was said, wasn't anything that isn't said every day in middle school and high school. Is it nice? No, but I remember back in the stone ages when hs kids dropped F bombs. Not making excuses for what was said, but I think sometimes you have to step back and remember what it was like when you were in school. I don't think what Willow was saying makes her a gay basher, or a bully who will drive the boy to suicide. If you read the stories of the kids who killed themselves, there was a lot more involved than what Willow did. And I hear a lot of 20 somethings who say the word ****. Doesn't make them vile, or classless or trashy. It makes them 20.

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

Question: What does any of this have to do with Dancing With the Stars?

well, for one thing they are portraying Bristol a sweet, cute, american pie type

these little missives portray quite the opposite - a nasty little thing that can easily spew such vitriole!

the Facebook info just came out today so it got worked in.

 

[Aristomommy]

And that is again where parenting comes in. My kids have done some not nice stuff along the way, but homophobic remarks are never in the mix. After 16 years of knowing your child, I would think you would have a pretty good handle on that. Someone doesn't just bust out with remarks like that on a public forum without thinking it is ok.

Many 16 year olds use language with their friends that their parents will never hear. My mother has never heard me curse and I have not been a teen in a couple of decades. Teens don't think that certain popular slurs qualifies as homophobic or derogatory toward disabled people etc. Sometimes kids learn by making mistakes and celeb kids learn very publicly.

Think of the worst thing you did as a teen or if you are perfect maybe a friend did and how people all over the country would judge you based on this one action? Would it make the parent incompetent? Would it make you a rotten person the rest of your life? I think many people around here can't separate their political views from the DWTS and this incident.

 

[LiberalPrincess]

But from what I am reading, it does have everything to do with perfect kids. "perfect" kids don't use any type of slur. "imperfect" kids, well they just had lousy parenting.
But I guess my thought would be, if your child (and a general you) knew that you were monitoring their fb, do you really think they would post their true thoughts and feelings?
I agree that if your mom is in the public eye you should know better than to probably even HAVE a fb account really, but I think what was said, wasn't anything that isn't said every day in middle school and high school. Is it nice? No, but I remember back in the stone ages when hs kids dropped F bombs. Not making excuses for what was said, but I think sometimes you have to step back and remember what it was like when you were in school. I don't think what Willow was saying makes her a gay basher, or a bully who will drive the boy to suicide. If you read the stories of the kids who killed themselves, there was a lot more involved than what Willow did. And I hear a lot of 20 somethings who say the word ****. Doesn't make them vile, or classless or trashy. It makes them 20.

If you teach your kids early the hurt that those words cause and what they actually say about the person using them, then you don't have to worry about their "true thoughts and feelings". It is part of what makes them who they are. It is a discussion that every parent should have and some don't. We aren't simply talking swearing and nastiness. We are talking about specific hate speech. And regardless of how it is meant, it is certainly gay bashing. You can be upset about people taking this too seriously and making it about perfect kids, but I am much more distressed by the number of "a lot of kids say it" and "kids will be kids" posts. Again, other people doing it does not in any way mitigate the harm it does. And if the attention to the issue needs to start with a girl who is on a reality show who is posting these terms, then, by all means, let's start there. Otherwise, the problem never ends.

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

If you teach your kids early the hurt that those words cause and what they actually say about the person using them, then you don't have to worry about their "true thoughts and feelings". It is part of what makes them who they are. It is a discussion that every parent should have and some don't. We aren't simply talking swearing and nastiness. We are talking about specific hate speech. And regardless of how it is meant, it is certainly gay bashing. You can be upset about people taking this too seriously and making it about perfect kids, but I am much more distressed by the number of "a lot of kids say it" and "kids will be kids" posts. Again, other people doing it does not in any way mitigate the harm it does. And if the attention to the issue needs to start with a girl who is on a reality show who is posting these terms, then, by all means, let's start there. Otherwise, the problem never ends.

thank you! It is distressing to me as well. Very sad. Clearly we do need to have more dialogue on these issues if so many can dismiss them so readily and so easily!!!

 

[disneyjunkie]

If you teach your kids early the hurt that those words cause and what they actually say about the person using them, then you don't have to worry about their "true thoughts and feelings". It is part of what makes them who they are. It is a discussion that every parent should have and some don't. We aren't simply talking swearing and nastiness. We are talking about specific hate speech. And regardless of how it is meant, it is certainly gay bashing. You can be upset about people taking this too seriously and making it about perfect kids, but I am much more distressed by the number of "a lot of kids say it" and "kids will be kids" posts. Again, other people doing it does not in any way mitigate the harm it does. And if the attention to the issue needs to start with a girl who is on a reality show who is posting these terms, then, by all means, let's start there. Otherwise, the problem never ends.

 

[asta]

If you teach your kids early the hurt that those words cause and what they actually say about the person using them, then you don't have to worry about their "true thoughts and feelings". It is part of what makes them who they are. It is a discussion that every parent should have and some don't. We aren't simply talking swearing and nastiness. We are talking about specific hate speech. And regardless of how it is meant, it is certainly gay bashing. You can be upset about people taking this too seriously and making it about perfect kids, but I am much more distressed by the number of "a lot of kids say it" and "kids will be kids" posts. Again, other people doing it does not in any way mitigate the harm it does. And if the attention to the issue needs to start with a girl who is on a reality show who is posting these terms, then, by all means, let's start there. Otherwise, the problem never ends.

Amen! You said this beautifully.

 

[brittsmum1998]

Would you mind quoting one of these "bullying" posts? I've been posting here all day, and I don't recall seeing one comment that could be construed as "bullying."

Two posts above this one were the words "classless" and "trashy". I didn't go back too far in this thread. The girls (Bristol & Willow) were idiots for sure but I wonder, did they possibly get fed up w/ the bullying they were receiving? I know I'm reaching but lets face it the media does not like the Palins so there could be a "forgotten" part of the story. Fox does it alll the time.

I think if the thought is that those girls bullied someone (not my opinion) what would you say about Bristol and Willow? Bristol has been scrutinized and criticized since day one. If not bullying what would you (I don't mean actual you..just in general) call it?

I think this thread is full of bullying and considering the majority are women, I'm surprised and disappointed. I'm very glad that I have my own set of values and don't depend on advice from the Dis.

Sad

 

[akhenaten]

Two posts above this one were the words "classless" and "trashy". I didn't go back too far in this thread. The girls (Bristol & Willow) were idiots for sure but I wonder, did they possibly get fed up w/ the bullying they were receiving? I know I'm reaching but lets face it the media does not like the Palins so there could be a "forgotten" part of the story. Fox does it alll the time.

I think if the thought is that those girls bullied someone (not my opinion) what would you say about Bristol and Willow? Bristol has been scrutinized and criticized since day one. If not bullying what would you (I don't mean actual you..just in general) call it?

I think this thread is full of bullying and considering the majority are women, I'm surprised and disappointed. I'm very glad that I have my own set of values and don't depend on advice from the Dis.

Sad

Did you just call them "idiots"? that is just as bad!
pot meet kettle....

 

[brittsmum1998]

Did you just call them "idiots"? that is just as bad!
pot meet kettle....

Thats true, touche. I just didn't want anyone thinking god forbid that I thought what they were doing was right...but you are right and I was wrong. I can admit when I'm wrong. I'm not sure thats as bad as trashy and classless. Not to mention the other things said.

Hows this? If I see the Palins I'll apologize.

 

[akhenaten]

Thats true, touche. I just didn't want anyone thinking god forbid that I thought what they were doing was right...but you are right and I was wrong. I can admit when I'm wrong. I'm not sure thats as bad as trashy and classless. Not to mention the other things said.

Hows this? If I see the Palins I'll apologize.

well you are right.. i would be upset if anyone called my kids any of those names.... and I am sure if we thought the Palins read these comments we would use different words....

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

who is 'they'?

dwts

 

[aaarcher86]

If you teach your kids early the hurt that those words cause and what they actually say about the person using them, then you don't have to worry about their "true thoughts and feelings". It is part of what makes them who they are. It is a discussion that every parent should have and some don't. We aren't simply talking swearing and nastiness. We are talking about specific hate speech. And regardless of how it is meant, it is certainly gay bashing. You can be upset about people taking this too seriously and making it about perfect kids, but I am much more distressed by the number of "a lot of kids say it" and "kids will be kids" posts. Again, other people doing it does not in any way mitigate the harm it does. And if the attention to the issue needs to start with a girl who is on a reality show who is posting these terms, then, by all means, let's start there. Otherwise, the problem never ends.

I totally agree, we need to teach our children the harm in these words. However, I do think that kids, particularly teens, won't truly grasp the meaning until they experience it in one way or another.

How many times did we ignore our parents until they turned out to be right? What she said was awful. I certainly hope she has the taste smacked out of her mouth, is punished properly, and learns from it. That's it. She shouldn't be condemned in the news for making the a mistake and learning from it. That's what kids are supposed to do. No - it doesn't make what she said okay AT ALL. But most of us will find our teens saying something similar at the same age.

I'm pretty sure the parents of the girl that had me jumped (by 3 girls) in high school said 'Erin would never do that. She's the sweetest girl in the world' the day my parents sat down on their couch to discuss the incident. Let's not be so naive. Kids act differently with their parents than they do with friends. No not all kids... MOST kids.

 

[Aristomommy]

I totally agree, we need to teach our children the harm in these words. However, I do think that kids, particularly teens, won't truly grasp the meaning until they experience it in one way or another.

How many times did we ignore our parents until they turned out to be right? What she said was awful. I certainly hope she has the taste smacked out of her mouth, is punished properly, and learns from it. That's it. She shouldn't be condemned in the news for making the a mistake and learning from it. That's what kids are supposed to do. No - it doesn't make what she said okay AT ALL. But most of us will find our teens saying something similar at the same age.

I'm pretty sure the parents of the girl that had me jumped (by 3 girls) in high school said 'Erin would never do that. She's the sweetest girl in the world' the day my parents sat down on their couch to discuss the incident. Let's not be so naive. Kids act differently with their parents than they do with friends. No not all kids... MOST kids.

Well said

Life is a journey. I am glad that I am not judged by my teen foolishness. Understanding doesn't mean that the behavior is condoned. I have to think that those who preach this "my child is perfect" must have their heads in the sand or are truly not there to catch those "teaching moments".

 

[LiberalPrincess]

Well said

Life is a journey. I am glad that I am not judged by my teen foolishness. Understanding doesn't mean that the behavior is condoned. I have to think that those who preach this "my child is perfect" must have their heads in the sand or are truly not there to catch those "teaching moments".

Again, who is claiming to have perfect kids? Why would it only be perfect kids that don't use homophobic slurs on Facebook? That reasoning baffles me. I would hope that the majority of kids wouldn't go there, and if so, the teaching moment is that even kids we see on television say incredibly hurtful things in their real lives. And how wrong it is. That seems like a much better teaching moment than justifying bad behavior with the idea that kids will be kids. Yes, kids do stupid things, but because they are young does not mean they should not be accountable for their own actions. Now there is a lesson to share.

 

[Aristomommy]

Again, who is claiming to have perfect kids? Why would it only be perfect kids that don't use homophobic slurs on Facebook? That reasoning baffles me. I would hope that the majority of kids wouldn't go there, and if so, the teaching moment is that even kids we see on television say incredibly hurtful things in their real lives. And how wrong it is. That seems like a much better teaching moment than justifying bad behavior with the idea that kids will be kids. Yes, kids do stupid things, but because they are young does not mean they should not be accountable for their own actions. Now there is a lesson to share.

There have been too many posts to quote that state that this one mistake is either a reflection of these kids "true colors", "parenting" or this is somehow the one thing "my kids would never do". My point is that even good parents have teens with poor choices, poor parents have kids who make good choices and one incident should not be the determinant of that.

If you think most kids wouldn't "go there" unfortunately that is still wishful thinking. Using these exact terms is pretty common as well as using ******** which I rank just as high up there. Heck, there are still areas where racial slurs are common. Is that right? Of course not, but the fact I mention it doesn't mean that I condone it. It isn't saying "kids will be kids", it is a statement of where the teens are with their language use still and why I feel that Palin kids are in the realm of norm for their age group.

 

[snapppyd]

This. I keep thinking I need to put my house on the market and move to where all these people live who have perfect kids, thoughts, feelings etc.....And know exactly what their child is thinking and doing every second of the day.

Not a Palin fan by a long shot, but all I can hear in my head when I read some of these posts are uptight, shrill voices. " MY child would NEVER do such a thing!!" Haha. Fantasy? Meet Reality.

I'm just shaking my head at all of this. Why? When the earthquake happened in Haiti I dared to ask "I wonder how much Oprah and Bill Gates will contribute" I was told in no uncertain terms by some people that it was none of my business. Yet this young girl, and every move she makes, is fair game? I call that hypocrisy.

 

[Lionqueen2]

I agree, but I'm not going to throw stones in my glass house.

Wise people realize that everyone lives in a glass house. In my years of dealing with children and parents, I have never met the 'perfect' parent or the 'perfect' child. Children err in different ways, apologize, and learn from their mistakes. Even adults aren't immune from errors.
Children calling each other names is one thing, but adults engaging in name calling and insults of children is on another level entirely.