Bringing ds's friend on vacation

[daystar]

Hi,
Need someones advice about how to talk to another parent about taking their child on vacation with us....I'm hoping to go next year at Christmas, do you think that's it wrong of me to ask for them to go at that time of the year???This is the only time i can make a family vacation due to work schedules....My ds would like to bring a friend this time because last time he became bored with hanging out with us and his younger brother....
There is one boy of my ds's friends that i would not mind taking, both boys at that time will be fourteen....I thought that the only thing that i would ask the other parents to pay for would be his flight ticket....My dh and i would take care of the rest...I'm wondering how i should go about asking them about the whole trip...Please tell me what you think...

 

[GEM]

Are you talking about actualy being gone on Christmas? If so, I honestly wouldn't ask parents to choose between sending their son on a great trip and having their family together on Christmas.

 

[Cinderellagrl]

We're taking my dd's friend along on our trip. We had an extra plane ticket, so I asked her parents if they would just pay for her park hopper pass. All you can do is ask. I would ask the parents first before mentioning it to their son...just in case they'd rather have him home for Christmas. That way he won't be disappointed.

 

[daystar]

Hi,
Thanks for your replies...Yeah we are actually talking about going through Dec. 21 to Dec.31...This is why i was unsure about asking the parents about taking their son...I don't know them real well but i do know them to talk to them...I would of loved to go at another time of the year but due to work this is the only time that we could go...

 

[Mom to Jordan]

While it is so nice of you to offer to take your son's friend, I do see some issues. I would not allow my DS 12 to be gone for Christmas, that is family time. Also a year is a long time away for 13 year old boys. As you say you do not know the family well, I am guessing that the boys may not have been friends for too long. A year's time may really change a friendship. They might not even like each other in a year.
We hope to take DS a friend next year so let us know what you decide and hownit goes.


Jordans' mom

 

[Cinderellagrl]

Jordan's Mom,

You are right. We started planning our trip about a year ago. DD13 had asked a friend to go along & we said it was okay. After about 6 months when I started finalizing all the plans a money issue came up between the friend's parents and us, so that friend could no longer go on the trip. We already had the plane ticket. Luckily, she asked another friend to go instead. Alot can change in a year.

 

[kyirish25]

I too would wait until much closer to time before even considering asking the other family. I would just tell you DS that he will be allowed to take a friend if his friends family is okay with it and we will discuss it once it gets closer.

 

[VAN]

If it were me I would not ask a friend along for a couple of reasons:

1. It is over the Christmas Holiday and feel that you and your children's friends should be with their OWN family

2. Your two children need to spend time together ... you need to spend one-on-one time with your child, etc

I have a boy and girl only 15 months apart .... even though they may act like they can't stand each other before a trip, once it is just the four of us you should see the dynamics change. It is just like they were little again and they have their private jokes between them and go off together on some "mission", etc. (They are now 18 & almost 20 and its still the same when we have a family vacation -- only now they "drive" somewhere together to get away from us old folks!!)

I think sometimes you need to have time without people outside the family or outside influences so you can reconnect and come together once again as a family unit!! Especially at the teenage years.
------------
Your comment about your son being bored reminds me of when my kids were babies ... the doctor said that sometimes at night the baby will fuss and you have to leave them alone for a little bit - that they needed to learn to sooth themselves (if it's really something you need to attend to, they will start hollering). Same way with older kids/grown-ups ... they need to learn to entertain themselves, life is not always one big party.

 

[daystar]

Hi,
My ds and his friend have been friends since grade 3 now he is in grade 7.....So this is more than a year friendship...When i ment that i didn't know them real well is that i don't have them over for dinners and stuff...I know them to talk to them at school, football, he is my son's coach and when they either spend the night at each others houses....His friend just spent the whole weekend with us over halloween other than going to sunday school in the morning with his parents....Thanks for your replies..How long would you wait to talk to the parents about the trip???I thought if i gave them enough notice for the trip it would make it easier finacially....

 

[MI mom of 3]

Since you are going to ask that they pay for his plane ticket, perhaps he could spend Christmas with his family and then they could put him on a plane the next day.

That way he could be with his family for Christmas, you would have just your family for a few days on vacation and just when your DS is getting antsy his friend will be there.

Definately talk to them before you mention it to him.

Good luck

 

[daystar]

Originally posted by MI mom of 3
Since you are going to ask that they pay for his plane ticket, perhaps he could spend Christmas with his family and then they could put him on a plane the next day.

That way he could be with his family for Christmas, you would have just your family for a few days on vacation and just when your DS is getting antsy his friend will be there.

Definately talk to them before you mention it to him.

Good luck

Hi,
Thanks for the great idea....That's a thought that i could bring up if they decide that they would like him home for Christmas day...

 

[Teri Zolman]

We just added my daughters 17 year old boyfriend to our grand gathering. We are driving so it didnt add much to our vacation only his food and park ticket. His parents are giving he $200 for spending money. We have 9 rooms reservered so he is rooming with my family. We are also going over Christmas so I thought this would be a problem but his parents didn't have an issue with it. I am looking forward for my daughter to have someone to hang out with she is the oldest child in the group so she was going to be a little bored. I agree I would not just take a casual friend on such a family trip it would need to be a very special friend. Good luck.

 

[dzneelvr]

I do not think the original plan is a good one at all. Just read past threads on the nightmare trip experiences when friends are taken along.
If you son is bored going to WDW as a family, then there are other issues at play that need to be addressed.
So many things can and will go wrong--by the end of the trip you will be regretting it. And what family would allow their child to be gone over Christmas anyway!
Beware...if you can't see the red flags a flyin', then listen to those of us who are telling you.

 

[Teri Zolman]

I think this totally depends on the individual situation. The teen that we are taking on the trip has never been on any kind of vacation. (Not something his family finds important). So his mom thought of this as the trip of a lifetime. You really need to know the family involved and think of every possible thing that could go wrong and what you would do with it. My daughters friend will be moving away next summer so this will be their last big thing to do together.

 

[Disney01]

I would never allow my son to be gone at Christmas time. Period. Also, I agree with the other poster about bringing a friend along...Family vacations are our time to reconnect...No friends allowed. Our son is an only child and has never been bored.

 

[daystar]

Hi Again,
Thanks for all your replies....My children are so far apart in age ( 6 and 12 )it was so hard to keep them both happy...The only time i could do this was when my dh took my oldest to where he wanted to go and i took my youngest son to his rides....We only did that for a short while because i like sticking together...This is why my oldest became bored...The only rides that he wanted to on was Test Track, RNRC and TOT...Everything else he felt was for the smaller kids....I thought about trying to see if i could fit in Universal for him on this trip...He likes more of the intense rides, he loves roller coasters...But even though he seemed so bored he would like to go back to WDW....This is why i mention about taking a friend, this friend is a really good kid...
I've come to the decision that i'm going to think on the date if there is some possible way that i could change it i will try to...Thanks...

 

[bianca]

We've let our kids bring friends along on our trips (during the Christmas holiday) for the last 5 years. We always ask the parents about 6 months in advance and we pick up the cost for everything (their friends don't come from families that can necessarily afford that kind of expense). Since we take pretty long vacations, we never expect the kids to stay the whole time. This year, my daughter's friend is driving down with us and we have purchased a plane ticket for her to fly back home on 12/23 to be with her own family. In years past, we have flown their friends down and then had them drive back home with us. We just always make sure that they are with their family for Christmas and that the parents don't have any issues about missing school .... another subject to consider!

 

[zurgswife]

We went for 2 weeks last christmas/New Years...we brought my dd 13's best friend along for the second week and it was wonderful. She got to spend family time with her family and about the time she would be driving her parents up the wall....she flew to fly to spend time with us...

Everybody had a wonderful vacation...

I'd try to arrange it after Christmas day..