Bring another on the trip.........

[daystar]

Hi,
Has anyone taken your babysitter with you on your WDW trip???My family and another family are going together and thought maybe we should bring the babysitter....Then if we decide to go to PI then we would have some adult time....Would you offer to pay for the whole trip or have her pay for some???She would be babysitting four kids ages 3, 6, 7, and 13....She is only fifteen, i think maybe the time we go she might be sixteen...
We don't plan on going out all the time but would like atleast two nights out that we stay.....
We plan on renting a vacation home....We plan on going to WDW, Seaworld and Universal..... Flying in from Buffalo to Orlando...Planning on eat out i think only dinner and maybe lunch...
I know i can get a babysitter in FL through a service but i would rather bring someone i knew that would take good care of my children and trust.....

 

[luvthatduke]

Hi, as someone who babysat
for many years, and has also been a nanny,
I can say very emphatically that if you are
asking someone to go with you as a babysitter
then it is only fitting that YOU pay for the WHOLE trip.
Especially since she will be answering to
and responsible for 2 families!

The only thing I would leave out is her
personal shopping $$.
Otherwise, when she eats with you, YOU PAY,
same goes with any expenses outside of
the park tickets you will have purchased.
i.e. "we're all going to Sea World" - that means
you pick up the tab...

I have been on trips with families as their
babysitter, and so has my sister - even tho you are
seeing it, perhaps, as a "vacation" for them,
it really isn't, at least not like you're enjoying.

Obviously, their "pay" for being available
when you need them is the "free" trip,
and you need to make it clear exactly
how much you think you will be needing
their personal attention to the children,
and specify who/how many the children are.
i.e. you won't be paying her in cash for
her services...

If you expect to give her free time on her own,
then you will need to make it clear that
perhaps she will then pay for her meals
on her own time, but even this is questionable...
It may be better to put aside food money
for her to use when she's not with you??

And that brings up another question:
even tho you're trusting a 15-16 year old
with your children, which is perfectly normal,
will her parent(s) be concerned if their
daughter is ALL alone in the parks
at any time that you don't need her with you?
You need to think that through, also.

I don't mean to sound harsh or that I'm
not for taking the sitter along - it can be
a wonderful experience for EVERYONE!
But, I confess that it made me feel uncomfortable
that you were actually considering asking
the sitter to come and not paying her way...

In all honesty I've not heard of that before...

But, that doesn't mean I'm "right" or that it
doesn't happen that way.

I hope you have a GREAT vacation,
with or without the sitter - and I'd be interested
to hear the plans you make...

 

[dg39]

I agree with the above post. If I were to invite the babysitter to not only enjoy our vacation with us, but to also "work", I would without a doubt pay for it all. Aside from her bringing her own spending money, transportation, park tickets, food/drink/snack and anything else that she does with us would be paid for by us. I would also let her know what I expect of her during that time. Let her know when/if she will have any free time to herself. Talk it over with her parents and think of all the possibilities and what if's, beforehand ,this way there'll be no misunderstandings there.

 

[daystar]

Hi,
The babysitter is a niece of the other family....Her parents do not have a problem with her going.....Also we are hoping to spend 10 days in FL and she would only be watching the kids for two nights out of those ten days..... The babysitter would be staying with the kids at our vacation place not in the parks....She would not be our 24hour baby service.....

 

[dg39]

That makes it alittle different. So she's a niece who would be vacationing with you and will babysit for a few nights. This is what I would do. If she were my niece I would foot the bill for her and when she babysits the kids, if I were you I would pay her for watching my kids. If she doesn't accept the cash I'd get her alittle something. Most likely when the other family mentions to her parents about wanting to take her to disney, they will give $$ for her tickets, transportation and food. Although I'd pay for her food anyway. But if you all are only inviting her so she can watch the kids for a few nights, this can be expensive. Then I would thoroughly look into a babysitting service that disney has to offer.

 

[trracers]

I would definitely take the niece over the babysitting service, just because I am an irrational, overprotective, paranoid Mom

Yes, I know, lecturing me will not help, just ask my "rational, non-overprotective, not paranoid" husband

Regardless, I would take the "family" member, pay her way and look at it as an extra bonus to see her enjoy the magic, too.

We took my sister with us on a couple of trips to help out with the kids. She spent most of the time in the parks with us and was another WONDERFUL set of hands. When she wanted to go off on her own, she did, no big deal and it didn't happen often anyway. She was always a big help and she sat with the kids an evening or two, but overall just having her there was fun along with being helpful.

Have fun!

 

[luvthatduke]

I absolutely agree with dg39 and trracers,
they both gave great advice.

Again, I would pay for the niece's trip,
since your first motive for asking her along
is to work for you, even if it's not frequently.

To give you a little perspective:
She's only 15 or 16,
won't have use of a car,
and you're staying off-site I believe?
So, that means she's totally at your mercy,
(not that your ogres - LOL),
but it does mean she's not really
going to be given the opportunity
to make too many of her own choices, right?
She'll be eating what/when/where you eat,
and going where/when you go,
that is why I think it's only fair
that you assume responsibility to pay for
all the activities you plan on doing,
and of course I'm assuming you'll be splitting
the bills with the other family.

Still, it's to everyone's advantage that
there be no misunderstanding once you're
all there - so be sure to be in agreement
not only with the sitter about what's
expected, but also with the other family,
especially because the sitter is their niece...
You don't want tension on your vacation...

Just invest some time in
a little planning and conversation,
I believe it will be to your benefit

 

[daystar]

Hi,
Thanks for the replies.....We are staying off site, hoping to find a rental home....I really don't want her to think she is just there for babysitting...I don't mind paying for her trip....Just wanted to see what others would do....I'm a paranoid parent so i'm very careful with who i leave my children with....This is why the other family and i talked about bring the babysitter....I would rather spend the money, then see anything bad happening to the children....I know that there is alot of honest, good babysitters out there but to ease my mind i would rather have someone i know....
Would you then mention that she should bring her own spending money???Would you pay for the whole trip and not pay her for babysitting???Or would you pay her for babysitting and ask her parents to help out with the traveling bill like the airline tickets???
We are just planing on one extra but maybe we should offer for her to bring a friend???????If i were to let her bring a friend would it be wrong for us to ask the parents to pay for her trip???We are hoping to rent a big house so the renting is not a issue with adding another person....
We are not rich but dh has a good job....The other family and i are going to split whatever the babysitters bill is...Please tell me your thoughts, need advice.....THanks

 

[Barbday62]

I have a similar but different situation. My wedding anniversary is next week and I want my kids and grandkids to go.

We told them up front if they want to go we are paying the airfare, hotel and the meals in which I wish to eat as a family. I prebooked all them and sent that to my daughters, I actually told them they need to save enough money to buy a few meals (OR they can eat in the hotel room as I always have lunch meat and PBJ.)

What am I getting with all this? Quality time with my daughters and son in law. (ONe married and the other almost) And best part yet some Disney time with my grandkids. BUt we get to decide which hours we take them. Its the best of all worlds except our expense account LOL. Its our 25th anniversary so we figured it would be ok.

I even helped my daughters raise money by having a huge garage sale. I donated my stuff and they brought stuff and we made $600 between them.

I deffinetly would tell her you would like to take her. Tell her what you expect and what you woudl suggest she save up for (LIke souveneers and maybe her own snacks or what ever you decide) One thing good is if she does tour with you at times you wont even have to do baby swap seperate from your spouse. You will get to ride together more often.

 

[luvthatduke]

"Would you then mention that she should bring her own spending money???Would you pay for the whole trip and not pay her for babysitting???Or would you pay her for babysitting and ask her parents to help out with the traveling bill like the airline tickets???"

daystar,
The last post made the situation
even more clear: even tho you're now
planning on only 2 nights, you may
quickly find yourself taking advantage
of the extra hands.

My personal advice is this,
but someone may certainly disagree:

Invite the niece, and pay for her trip,
including meals and extra parks/activities.
As another post suggested,
because she's family her parents may
very well offer to help.
I would NOT pay her for sitting,
as that is the point of providing the trip
and meals.
I WOULD tell her that she should
bring her own spending money and some
extra for meals when you may not all
be together - but again, if she's with you
I would absolutely pay her way.

I would let her know that
you are looking forward to having her
on the trip. Tell her that as of now you
anticipate having her watch all of the
children at LEAST 2 nights.

I think realistically, however,
that you may be asking
for her help beyond those 2 nights,
even if it's just a few minutes here
and there, or helping take one of
the children on a ride.
I would tell her that, emphasizing
that you do not intend to take
advantage of her, that you want her
to enjoy herself, etc. but that you
will be using her as a sitter a few times.

I must say that you are being very
generous in asking about a friend!!
This may not even be an issue
if the niece really likes/gets along with
her cousins and aunt & uncle...
If you do bring a friend for her,
I would NOT pay their way,
they would pay their whole way
including meals (if it were me).

Hope this helps

 

[dg39]

I think everyone posted gave you good advice. As for the niece/babysitter bringing a friend I think that would bea nice gesture. But just think, you would be responsible for the friend also. I'm not sure if you or the other family knows her friend. When 2 teens get together it can be a whole new ballgame. I'd be alittle afraid of the responsability of bringing a teen I don't know. Only because now the girls have each other and would want to spend time alone at the parks. With all the little kids you and the other family have, you all have your hands full already. But, if you do decide for her to bring a friend, I wouldn't pay for her tickets or transportatiion. I would just pay for her when she eats with us.

 

[Jana49]

Hi daystar,

I would let her bring a friend for sure! But the friend should pay all of her own expenses, imho. My dd is 17 and babysits frequently with a buddy, and has been doing this for several years. They get along well and the kids love it. I'd let the niece's mom give the ok on which friend gets to go - she will know which ones are right for it and which ones could cause trouble. We have taken friends (and paid their way) many times and have never been sorry.

 

[daystar]

Hi,
This is what we have decided between the two families....We are going to take the niece for the vacation but to only babysit two nights....We are going to pay her way[airline ticket, meals,place to stay,tickets for the parks]The only thing that we are going to ask her to bring will be money for souvenirs and if she wants to buy any extra snacks or whatever....This cost will be split between the two families.....
Even though i will only be asking her to babysit two nights, i do see where as she might help us out in the parks.... It just might happen and it's always nice to have extra help with children...
As for the friend we still aren't sure if we are going to offer....I just want her to as well have a good time....Not just hanging out with us older people and the small kids....I will make sure if we do that the friend is a responsible friend not an out of control one....She babysits for her aunt and uncle all the time when they work especially now in the summer....We only have her for when we go out together at night.....She's great with the kids and acts older than what she is....I'm trying to make this more than a babysitting job, a vacation to her as well....My oldest son is twelve and will be thirteen when we go so if the friend is a no go, then maybe she can enjoy his company....I know it wont be the same as having a girlfriend there but he's around her age....Now do you think that if she came with a friend or even with my oldest son you would let them walk the parks alone???I wasn't sure i'm kind of a worried wart so i wasn't sure if that would be a good idea or not?????Thanks for all your replies, they have me make my decision so much easier.......

 

[lucy_love_]

i know you have decided to pay the for the sitter trip etc but i just wanted to give my opinion. and thats all it is my opinion. if i was asked to go away with someone to sit for a few nights but had to pay for my own trip (even partly) i wouldnt go. no offence but thinking with a teenagers mind surely she has better things to do with her time and money than to go on holiday with two young families. you have made the right choice in paying for her to go. she will be worth the money just for the peace of mind your all going to have knowing that your children are with someone you know and trust. i hope it works out well. let us know how it goes.

love

lucy

 

[luvthatduke]

daystar,

I'm glad all of our input was helpful,
sounds like you've got a well-thought
out plan in the works...

I will pass off my little baton now to
the others who may be better
equipped to answer the
"alone in the parks" question.

My ds is only now 18 months,
and I have not yet crossed
the above-mentioned bridge...

Have a wonderful time and
please keep us posted

 

[shirleyb]

I would let a 16 and 13 yo alone in the parks -- when we go next year, my two boys will be 15 and 13, and I will probably let them have some alone time. It wouldn't be for huge blocks of time though. Like I might say, we're going here, here and here, while you do XYZ. Let's meet up in an hour. I wouldn't let them go all day without checking in. A cell phone would help for that too.

Shirley

 

[Tigger&Belle]

If it were me, I would pay her way, but expect her to help with the kids, besides the actual times that she will be babysitting. In other words, if there is a ride that you need to baby swap, she could sometimes watch the younger child so the adults can all ride together. Make sure she (with someone riding with her) gets to also ride! When eating out, she can help entertain the kids, help get their food, etc. Basically, she could help do the things that the parents are also doing, an extra set of hands. That would be wonderful.

My daughter is 16yo, so I always have a sitter with me, but we don't go out often at all when on vacation. I do expect even her to lend a hand, however.

I think that it's real important to very clearly spell out your intentions with the teen before the trip, however.

T&B

 

[dg39]

If your going to be in the park at the same time as they are, I would without a doubt let them walk around alone. I would just tell them what time and where to meet up with us.

 

[daystar]

Hi,
The only reason we even consider bringing a babysitter is because my family and the other family really don't ever go out for adult time....We do alot of family things together we are hardly ever without our children....When we do go out it's only once every three months or more....We thought that this would be a nice time to enjoy maybe a dinner without kids and PI....
When the babysitter and my oldest go to the park if i decide the only park they will be allowed to go in is the one that our families in....I'm a worried wart....They both are my responsibility so i rather that they stay close by and check in with me every so often.....
Thanks again.......

 

[trracers]

I think they will be fine in the same park, but I would make them carry a cell phone or a walkie talkie so that you can get ahold of them if you need to and vice versa. I am a worry wart, too, as I have mentioned before...haha. Just a little piece of mind knowing they are out there.

Have a wonderful trip and hey....if she isn't available to babysit and help out call me...I KNOW I can rearrange my schedule