Bridzilla Disney Style?

[marthachick]

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[Miskey]

How many ladies were on the trip? Was it just OP, her daughter, the bride, and the brides 2 friends?

 

[EMom]

How many ladies were on the trip? Was it just OP, her daughter, the bride, and the brides 2 friends?

Yeah, we need a breakdown. Because I think it sounds like the bride was cozy with maybe 2 girls and froze out just about everyone else.

 

[Brier Rose]

Yeah, we need a breakdown. Because I think it sounds like the bride was cozy with maybe 2 girls and froze out just about everyone else.

It was myself, my DD (MOH), my sister, three friends that could only come and stay for the day/evening with us, the bride, and two other bridesmaids. So 9 total, but only for Sat. The rest of the time it was 6 of us.

 

[sunshinehighway]

It was myself, my DD (MOH), my sister, three friends that could only come and stay for the day/evening with us, the bride, and two other bridesmaids. So 9 total, but only for Sat. The rest of the time it was 6 of us.

Since she reconnected with these friends, she doesn't need your DD anymore.
She was probably only friendly with you guys (and especially your daughter) because she had noone else.

 

[Miskey]

It was myself, my DD (MOH), my sister, three friends that could only come and stay for the day/evening with us, the bride, and two other bridesmaids. So 9 total, but only for Sat. The rest of the time it was 6 of us.

Apologies if this has already been stated, but today is the first time I've noticed this thread and it was a lot to read!! I was confused on who you went to meet when you left your future SIL at Be Our Guest.

You said she is also a Disney fan and uber planner. Is she not on the DIS??

 

[Brier Rose]

Apologies if this has already been stated, but today is the first time I've noticed this thread and it was a lot to read!! I was confused on who you went to meet when you left your future SIL at Be Our Guest. You said she is also a Disney fan and uber planner. Is she not on the DIS??

DD went to meet the three friends that were only meeting us for the day. She is not on the Dis... She doesn't like "message boards".

I never ever say things I worry about being repeated. If I say it, or write it as is the case, I stand by it. If by some strange event she happened to see this, it wouldn't bother me one bit. None of these are things I wouldn't discuss with her to her face.

 

[ebtbmom]

That game looks really fun, I'd seriously buy it!

 

[BrerRabbit66]

While the text might not have been your best idea, don't beat yourself up over it. If you care to extend an apology then send a handwritten card wishing them well on their wedding. If she wants you to attend the wedding then she can accept you being gracious and extend the invite. Personally, I would honor their request and not attend; plan to do something with your DH and DD on that day. Your feelings are hurt....but quite frankly she doesn't care and she will only drag out the drama longer if she knows it's bothering you.

 

[Nettester]

If I were you, whether or not I would attend the wedding would depend on my brother's wishes. Forget the opinions of your Mom and the bride.

Call your brother. Go out to lunch, just the 2 of you. Ask him IN PERSON. No texting. Does he want you to attend his wedding? Ask him simply to be honest with you, because HE is your brother, and that this is HIS special day, HIS wishes are what matter to you. If you honor his finance's request and come as a "guest" is that what HE wants? Tell him yes, you can do that and be perfectly gracious. Promise you love him too much to do anything to cause drama on his wedding day. Just look him straight in the eye and tell him to be HONEST with you and HIMSELF about his wishes.

What he says would determine whether or not I would go. If he wants you there, I would plan to go.

I think this marriage is destined to fail, but you're going to have to let it runs it's course. You're going to be remembered for being the bigger person. Her true colors are going to come out eventually in front of DH, your Mom, and everyone else.

 

[robinb]

I think that text shows amazing restraint. You didn't even bless her heart one time.

O-M-G. You made me laugh out loud. Literally.

 

[bellebud]

"'WITCHES'!!! Tell em I said so..we're in Japan."

Best. Line. Ever. I can't stop laughing. Where else but Disney would you ever get to say something like that?

I totally agree!!

 

[Disney Doll]

I wouldn't go. I'd send my brother a card wishing him well in
His marriage and telling him I'd be there for him if he ever needed me.

The I'd sit back and watch the implosion. Then
I'd say "I told you so".

Karma baby, karma.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

So earlier I said it would be nice to write a letter--it seems that text took care of that.

In a vacuum known as the fiancée's delusional world, by itself--it does appear that she did nothing wrong and presented it to your family accordingly. So I can see why mom and brother are being spineless. If she says she didn't do anything wrong and then paints the visual image that absolves her of any accusation--this text didn't make you look good.

I wouldn't go to the wedding. I would pretend like nothing ever happened and I would IGNORE everyone. Eventually someone will reach out. Be polite and continue to decline invitations. Say nothing about this incident. Eventually people will wonder and ask. Carefully compose your version of events as simplistically as possible. (Something like you planned an event for her with the input of many others. You made her requested changes during the weekend. And her way of showing gratitude was to abandon you. Yes you lost your temper, but who wouldn't under the circumstances?)

And say that you have moved on.

But eventually--people will be nosy.

It kind of reminds me of the moment at the end of 27 dresses--in the bridal ship when she realizes her sister won't be honest and what she did for her wedding gown...and the slide show at the rehearsal dinner.

 

[Brier Rose]

I absolutely positively do NOT plan to attend the wedding. Not out of spite, or even hurt, but because I truly don't want to ruin my brother's day. It doesn't mean that much to me, but it means everything to him.

If anything I'm more disgruntled on DD's behalf. She did absolutely nothing, other than take up for me.

 

[chrissyt27]

If your brother has a brain in his head, he will run like the wind.

I agree. How awful of her. She will never be happy and I am sure will always be this way. people don't change. How ungrateful of her!

 

[Laura66]

I absolutely positively do NOT plan to attend the wedding. Not out of spite, or even hurt, but because I truly don't want to ruin my brother's day. It doesn't mean that much to me, but it means everything to him.

If anything I'm more disgruntled on DD's behalf. She did absolutely nothing, other than take up for me.

Really?

I just can't imagine not attending my brothers wedding over drama over a bachelorette party. You won't even go and sit quietly in the back?


That you can't admit at all you might be overreacting or contributed a sliver to this while mess tells me that you enjoy this drama and get som kind of reinforcement from being the matyr.

Sil doesn't get a pass on this - but neither do you. Let's face it - you really don't know your sil as well as you claim. I think you enjoy doing these generous things for friends and family - but that you also think everyone should fall over being grateful and impressed - be that because you ar throwing around so much money and creativity and planning you get to control everything.

When people throw around money it sometimes makes people uncomfortable. And when she wanted to cancel that one reservation and do something else did she not offer to pay.

I think if some posters saw what you have said on different message boards they would see there is a whole other side to you and not be so quick to lay all of the blame on your future sil

 

[jdb in AZ]

Really?

I just can't imagine not attending my brothers wedding over drama over a bachelorette party. You won't even go and sit quietly in the back?


That you can't admit at all you might be overreacting or contributed a sliver to this while mess tells me that you enjoy this drama and get som kind of reinforcement from being the martyr. If my brother specifically asked me not to attend, then I would abide by his wishes. And find something fun to do.

Sil doesn't get a pass on this - but neither do you. Let's face it - you really don't know your sil as well as you claim. Apparently OP knows her SIL better than we do. I think you enjoy doing these generous things for friends and family - but that you also think everyone should fall over being grateful and impressed - be that because you ar throwing around so much money and creativity and planning you get to control everything.

If it were me, I would stay away from the wedding, not from spite, but out of self-preservation. I just don't need an additional spike in the blood pressure/stress level. I love the quote "I only have one nerve left, and you're getting on it."

Gotta add here -- since the wedding is so close to the holidays, be prepared for more fall-out at least through New Year's.

 

[EMom]

Really?

I just can't imagine not attending my brothers wedding over drama over a bachelorette party. You won't even go and sit quietly in the back?


That you can't admit at all you might be overreacting or contributed a sliver to this while mess tells me that you enjoy this drama and get som kind of reinforcement from being the matyr.

Sil doesn't get a pass on this - but neither do you. Let's face it - you really don't know your sil as well as you claim. I think you enjoy doing these generous things for friends and family - but that you also think everyone should fall over being grateful and impressed - be that because you ar throwing around so much money and creativity and planning you get to control everything.

When people throw around money it sometimes makes people uncomfortable. And when she wanted to cancel that one reservation and do something else did she not offer to pay.

I think if some posters saw what you have said on different message boards they would see there is a whole other side to you and not be so quick to lay all of the blame on your future sil

No, I would not attend. Her brother suggested she not attend. Her mother did the same. The bride "invited" her in a way that makes it clear she really doesn't want her there and is only issuing the invitation for the sake of appearance. Why on earth would anyone attend under those circumstances? The bride us destined to find fault with something, so why give her ammo? Just stay away.

 

[EMom]

Plus, who wants to hear, "You ruined my bachelorette party AND my wedding!" for the next twenty years? No..skip it.