Bridal Showers for second marriages.

[DawnCt1]

First of all, let me preface this by saying that I plan to attend the shower. It will be an afternoon out and I like the people involved. But, let me also say, I feel like I just "did this" not that long ago with this particular bride. I attended the bridal shower, the wedding, brought the gifts and lo and behold, it is time to do the same thing again. What do you think?

 

[Jilliebean]

I just had a 2nd wedding in December. I didn't have a bridal shower and I would have discouraged anyone from throwing me one. DH and I are in our late 30s/mid40s and didn't need anything to set up housekeeping.

My first wedding was 13 years ago but I still wanted to keep the second one much more low key. We had our immediate families only and had a wonderful intimate wedding.

I don't think there is anything wrong with what you're thinking.

 

[pearlieq]

No, I think you only get one bridal shower. There is no reason you can't get together and have a party to celebrate the marriage, but the shower gift-fest is a one time deal.

I'm also of the opinion that you only get one baby shower, however unpopular that makes me.

Still, sounds like you'll have fun at least!

 

[lulugirl]

Well, if it's huge event w/ all the traditional things I tend to think it's in poor taste.
A small get together w/ close friends, sort of a low key dinner party w/ the girls, I think is a nice way to mark the event.
Do you get the feeling that gifts are expected?

 

[Bella the Ball 360]

Gotta say that in my opinion you get one first time for everything. A shower is to help you furnish your new home. If you already had a home then you do not need to furnish it. My SIL had a "Green Back" shower. The invitation said in essence..they have been living together and have everything they need to give money. I know people will disagree with with me but getting married is not a for profit venture.

 

[GoofItUp]

It's a one-time-deal, IMO.

I actually think they should throw wedding showers if you STAY married....maybe after 10, 15, or 20 years.....when the stuff you got the first time around is looking worn out! I know those are called anniversary parties, but nobody ever brings the stuff you need....like more bath towels!

 

[totalia]

When I split with my first husband, I lost everything I had. She may have a good reason for having a shower this time.

 

[GoofItUp]

BTW, Jilliebean.....fantastic looking family! Looks like it was a beautiful "low-key" wedding!

 

[Pop Daddy]

they will get nothing and they will like it

 

[luv2nascar]

BILs 1st wedding both DH & I in it, plus bridal shower gifts & wedding gifts
BILs 2nd wedding both DH, myself, & DD in wedding plus shower and gifts
they were also expecting so baby shower gifts were also needed & baptism gifts
he gets married for 3rd time and I'm not going no matter what

 

[pearlieq]

I actually think they should throw wedding showers if you STAY married....maybe after 10, 15, or 20 years.....when the stuff you got the first time around is looking worn out! I know those are called anniversary parties, but nobody ever brings the stuff you need....like more bath towels!

This made me laugh! We actually had a bath towel party for one of my (40ish) friend's birthday! She was at my wedding shower that year and made the same comment--you never get things like bath towels again. Well, we made sure she was fully stocked!!!

 

[suzannen]

I didn't even think of having a shower for my second marriage. I was SO thrilled that I had really, finally, met the love of my life, my soul mate, I would not have cared if we had not received any wedding gifts. I really just wanted my family and friends to share in our joy.

 

[Jilliebean]

BTW, Jilliebean.....fantastic looking family! Looks like it was a beautiful "low-key" wedding!

Thank you!

 

[Bella the Ball 360]

I must say, I am VERY surprised at the direction which this thread had taken. In the past when this question came up, I was one of the few against a second marriage wedding shower. In fact you'd think I was suggesting that they sell their first born into slavery. It is nice to know that there are others out there that share my opinion.

 

[DawnCt1]

Well, if it's huge event w/ all the traditional things I tend to think it's in poor taste.
A small get together w/ close friends, sort of a low key dinner party w/ the girls, I think is a nice way to mark the event.
Do you get the feeling that gifts are expected?

"the bride is registered at Filenes, Pier 1 and Bed, Bath and Beyond". Yup!

 

[Pooh Girl 71]

When I split with my first husband, I lost everything I had. She may have a good reason for having a shower this time.

I'm all for a second shower if the person has had a time like this.

What if the person is getting married again and never had a shower to begin with?

 

[DawnCt1]

IMy first wedding was 13 years ago but I still wanted to keep the second one much more low key. We had our immediate families only and had a wonderful intimate wedding.

I don't think there is anything wrong with what you're thinking.

If it were "half of 13" I wouldn't even mind. When I say that it feels like yesterday, I am not kidding!

 

[DawnCt1]

I'm all for a second shower if the person has had a time like this.

What if the person is getting married again and never had a shower to begin with?

Her first husband could really qualify for sainthood. He still adores her and would have given her the shirt of his back. She "fell out of love". Too bad she didn't realize that before she had two lovely little boys.

 

[Catzeyes]

I just got remarried last October. I told everyone that I did not want another shower.

 

[Disney Doll]

I think it depends on the circumstances.

If it was a case of losing everything after the frist marriage, then I would have no problem with going to another shower for a bride...it's a nice way to mark a new beginning etc.

However, if it was becoming a habit, then I'd probably have "another commitment" on the day of the shower.

By the same token, if I had a friend who was marrying for the 2nd time & they weren't having a shower, but I wanted to give them a gift anyhow, I would.