Bridal Shower/Registry Etiquette Question

[onyx8]

Coming from a recent bride, please buy her the griddle that is on the registry. She has enough to do without having to exchange it.

 

[nliedel]

You know I think that calling her and explaining why you like it and asking is so wonderfully thoughtfull and kind. Ask her to be honest with you and explain why you prefer the larger one but leave it open for her to make up her mind. How nice of you. I would have loved it!

I had some people just get me whatever they wanted when asking would have been such a kindness. Just don't make it sound like she's a dork if she elects to stick with the same one. One of the reasons some brides might elect a smaller size would be to save their guests money. Also larger sizes could be a broad hint that they should move forward with the procreating with all due haste.

 

[labdogs42]

My bottom line: if you really think that she will truly get more use out of the griddle you choose, get it for her, include a nice note explaining how much you love it, and most importantly include the gift receipt. And if she ends up returning/exchanging it, don't take it personally!

This is what I would do. Then if someone else gets her the one she registered for, she can make a choice of which one to keep. As long as you give the gift receipt, you have no worries!

 

[mrsltg]

Buy what you want to buy. You are "showering" her with gifts. I loved things that were given to me that weren't on my registry. Maybe you have a clearer view of what a home could use. Maybe your experience says, "this will be great for you - I love mine". If the bride doesn't like it she can exchange it. As far as the mixes, go for it! Why not prepare a bnreakfast basket of some sort? The registry is a list of things they would like to have - not a list of demands.

Erin

 

[Disney Doll]

Get her what's on her registry. Perhaps she doesn't have a lot of storage space for a larger griddle, perhaps they don't like pancakes as much as your family does.

 

[gradtchr]

I would get her what was on her registry for several reasons.

1. She chose it and you know what she chose.
2. She knows her needs at the moment
3. She knows her space issues
4. She knows her likes
5. She knows what she already owns.

 

[Sleeping~Beauty]

I agree with all the reasons that gradtchr just listed.

Speaking as a bride, I'd say stick to the registry.

 

[clh2]

I called the bride. (The shower was not a surprise - I checked first.)

The only reason she picked the square griddle was because the store she specifically registered at didn't have the double griddles - so she had no idea they are available. She also thought that the double griddle made more sense. She is actually going to adjust her registry to avoid getting both.

We went to the store (where I live) that she is registered at, the double griddles are generally an internet only item, so I will order that. I also got the mixing bowl and small spatula that were on her registery, a large spatula (matched the small one, but not on her list) and a whisk (also not on her list).

My DD is going to pick out some pancake mixes and fixin's (i.e. chocolate chips and syrup types of stuff). While some posters really would prefer not to get those, if the bride doesn't want to use those, she is smart enough to donate them to a food pantry, so at least they wouldn't go to waste.

 

[safetymom]

I am glad to hear you called.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Of course, this is just the thing with the MIL. She seems to think I'm a 70-year-old lady and buys gifts accordingly. I keep telling my DH that I'm going to buy her some low-cut tops from Old Navy and thongs from Victoria's Secret. Sorry to go off tangent there.

This made me LOL, because my mother and sister are like that...they think I'm OLD like them! Do they ever look at what I DO wear? Maybe that's why they buy me that stuff...they're trying to set me straight.

Oh...I'm torn about the griddles. I do like the bigger one (thinking maybe me DH...the cook in the house...would like one), but I might go with the smaller one on the registry. And then, no matter what I got, I'd agonize over it.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Oops...just saw that you posted that you called her. I love the idea of all the mixes and the fixin's to go along with it! Gifts like that are fun to put together and fun to receive.

 

[kpm76]

I would call and ask the bride. How many brides do any type of research before they register their items?

I can't speak for everyone, but I can tell you we did alot of research before registering and very carefully chose things we needed, wanted and would put to good use. Please, if you're going the registry route, buy what the bride and groom registered for.....they picked it for a reason, and even though it may not be your taste or what you think they should have, it's what THEY want.....one of my other pet peeves is people who choose to buy something that someone registered for, but chose NOT to buy it at the store where the person is registered. I have an aunt who does this all the time and 9 times out of 10, the bride gets 2 of the same things because one didn't come from the place she registered....it can make for an embarrassing situation for the person that bought off the registry. Personally, I LOVE buying off registries because I know I am getting something the couple will appreciate

 

[nliedel]

I am so glad you called her! I think it's great and the pancake mix and fixin idea is good too (don't forget some really good quality Chocolate Chips). When Gene and I were first married we didn't want to leave the house. Four kids and thirteen years later someone please babysit!

 

[clh2]

I am so glad you called her! I think it's great and the pancake mix and fixin idea is good too (don't forget some really good quality Chocolate Chips). When Gene and I were first married we didn't want to leave the house. Four kids and thirteen years later someone please babysit!

Luckily, that's where DD comes in handy. She's our resident expert on pancake fiixin's. She is very particular when chocolate is involved!

 

[Laurajean1014]

I would get what she wrote. She may not appreciate you thinking for her.

 

[Keggy]

I would have wanted the smaller one. I have a large double one and it is too big for just me and DH. It is more to clean, etc... I would really like the smaller one. It is a lot different for a couple than for a family with kids.

Kelly

 

[RUDisney]

I have a 13 inch round calphalon griddle. I can't imagine why someone would want one that doesn't fit on one burner. I use it for the four of us and if there were 8 of us, I'd still want the smaller, easier to handle model. Plus, a one burner model doesn't have as many cool/hot zones as a double burner one.

What was the bride supposed to say when you called? Do you really think that someone would be so rude to say, "no, I picked what I want and you'd better get it for me?" I'd have been polite to you... maybe would have even pretended to be more interested in your choice, but I would have taken it back for the more practical one burner griddle that I wanted in the first place.

 

[disykat]

I'm having a hard time figuring why anyone would even want a small griddle. If you are cooking for just one or two, why not just use a frying pan? I love my double griddle and definately use it for pancakes, even for two people. There are no cool spots and for two people I could make just one set of pancakes and save the time I spend at the stove.

I'm still amazed at the people who think people HAVE to follow a registry. What started out as something helpful has gotten demanding, IMO.

While I admit I returned a few items, even 15 years later I honestly enjoy using my wedding gifts and remembering the giver. The ones I treasure most were not things I selected, but ones people chose for me.

 

[luvmyfam444]

.....one of my other pet peeves is people who choose to but chose NOT to buy it at the store where the person is registered. I have an aunt who does this all the time and 9 times out of 10, the bride gets 2 of the same things because one didn't come from the place she registered....it can make for an embarrassing situation for the person that bought off the registry. Personally, I LOVE buying off registries because I know I am getting something the couple will appreciate

For one reason I can't always AFFORD to buy from the store the bride is registered at - sometimes I'll buy the gift @ Target/WM (linens or pyrex) OR may go to the outlet - I could never afford Waterford @ the dept store but from the outlet its sometimes feasbile. AND MOST people nowadays only register @ 1 store - when I married we registered everywhere possible (Target & WM didn't have registeries back then)-so we registered @ 4 different stores.....

There are many people that only have credit cards @ such & such store or know the associates /like the people there so only shop @ those stores that's why we chose to register there.

AND YEP! Got TONS of duplicates from crockpots (the thing to give that year) to extra china - but it was no problem to exchange it & get what I wanted/needed...and often I got things that I never even thought about wanting/needing before & so we kept it even though we didn't pick it out....

 

[kpm76]

For one reason I can't always AFFORD to buy from the store the bride is registered at - sometimes I'll buy the gift @ Target/WM (linens or pyrex) OR may go to the outlet - I could never afford Waterford @ the dept store but from the outlet its sometimes feasbile. AND MOST people nowadays only register @ 1 store - when I married we registered everywhere possible (Target & WM didn't have registeries back then)-so we registered @ 4 different stores.....

There are many people that only have credit cards @ such & such store or know the associates /like the people there so only shop @ those stores that's why we chose to register there.

AND YEP! Got TONS of duplicates from crockpots (the thing to give that year) to extra china - but it was no problem to exchange it & get what I wanted/needed...and often I got things that I never even thought about wanting/needing before & so we kept it even though we didn't pick it out....

You're right, sometimes places where people choose to register are expensive and you can definitely find the items at other places for less money. In fact, we received a lot of china from a family member that went to a Lenox outlet....it was great! I didn't mean to sound bratty and demanding and after rereading my post, I realize I did In our area, couples register at at least two if not three places. We picked three and even had one place that regularly offers 20% off coupons so we thought that would be a nice thing for our guests.