Bridal shower gift?

[Once.Upon.A.Time]

Hi all,

I know this is pretty subjective, but what do you think the proper amount of money to spend on a bridal shower gift is? My brother in law is getting married in the fall and his bride to be is having a shower in a catering hall and is registered to a few different stores. Also, what are your feelings on showers in general?

Thanks as always.

 

[lanejudy]

I buy such gifts based on my own budget, not what someone else thinks is appropriate. If it's someone I'm close to, they are happy just to know I thought of them; if it's someone who would get upset, well not likely anyone I'm close to so it doesn't matter. That said, I usually buy a bridal shower gift off the registry - maybe a something from their china.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I read the room but stick to around $50-$100, my DD is in a circle who spends less so they stick with more thoughtful gifts like getting favorite photos enlarged online and framing it or having imagees made into ornaments, things that cost more time than money.

 

[ronandannette]

I buy such gifts based on my own budget, not what someone else thinks is appropriate. If it's someone I'm close to, they are happy just to know I thought of them; if it's someone who would get upset, well not likely anyone I'm close to so it doesn't matter. That said, I usually buy a bridal shower gift off the registry - maybe a something from their china.

This, and most registries are chosen with a whole range of items and prices; stick to the lower-end, household basic stuff for a shower.

 

[easyas123]

Hi all,

I know this is pretty subjective, but what do you think the proper amount of money to spend on a bridal shower gift is? My brother in law is getting married in the fall and his bride to be is having a shower in a catering hall and is registered to a few different stores. Also, what are your feelings on showers in general?

Thanks as always.

Well, since this will be your new sister in law, and so I'd go with something a bit more personal since it's family. As far as $$$, I think it's always appropriate to spend what you are comfortable with, depending on your financial situation and relationship with the person. Since it's family, if I could afford it I might spend a bit more.

 

[RUDisney]

This, and most registries are chosen with a whole range of items and prices; stick to the lower-end, household basic stuff for a shower.

I buy off of the registry, but my ex SIL had things that were only over $100+ on hers. Really?!? You don't need any towels or smaller items? She had been living in her mother's house prior to the wedding and didn't have things for an established home.

She was mad that one of my Aunt ILs purchased a silver coffee/tea service for her because it wasn't on the registry. I received a similar one for my shower and was shocked that someone would spend so much on us. Can I just tell you that we aren't sad that she is an ex IL?

My MIL always purchases a crucifix that the couple can hang in their house, if the couple is Christian. One of the coolest things we received is still proudly displayed. It's a very pretty wooden plaque that says, "The RUDisneys" and beneath that it says, "Established 1994." That's nice and personal and perfect for newlyweds, IMO.

 

[Travel60]

I believe this varies by region and Covid considerations have definitely modified expectations.

Where I'm from, only people who are invited to the wedding are invited to a shower. The shower gift is a "sprinkling". I spend $50-75 - maybe off registry but maybe something else I think they would like. If I go to the wedding, I buy a wedding gift $150-300 depending on how close I am to person. This is something lasting...china, crystal, something off registry.

 

[evilmommie]

Just had my daughters wedding. I feel like I’m an expert on all things wedding 2022. LOL

I agree with the other posters. Stick with your own budget. There are usually plenty of items on a wedding registry that are good for shower gifts. Household items are always safe. I’ve always put together fun baskets full of kitchen utensils, table linens and whatnot for non family bridal shower parties that always seem to be a hit.

Sometimes I will tuck in something personal if the bride has a favorite flower, etc. For example, one of my friends daughter loves sunflowers like I do and I found a beautiful sunflower tile trivet for her shower.

 

[ronandannette]

I buy off of the registry, but my ex SIL had things that were only over $100+ on hers. Really?!? You don't need any towels or smaller items? She had been living in her mother's house prior to the wedding and didn't have things for an established home.

She was mad that one of my Aunt ILs purchased a silver coffee/tea service for her because it wasn't on the registry. I received a similar one for my shower and was shocked that someone would spend so much on us. Can I just tell you that we aren't sad that she is an ex IL?

My MIL always purchases a crucifix that the couple can hang in their house, if the couple is Christian. One of the coolest things we received is still proudly displayed. It's a very pretty wooden plaque that says, "The RUDisneys" and beneath that it says, "Established 1994." That's nice and personal and perfect for newlyweds, IMO.

No way in heck, not for a shower. If it came to that I’d give a gift card for the registry store in a modest amount and call it a day.

 

[Once.Upon.A.Time]

Thank you all for your replies. I was thinking a bunch of smaller stuff off the registry and maybe bringing something personal to the shower. I saw a bath robe that said bride on the back. Opinions? Also, she doesn’t have a traditional bridal party. The only person she’s having is her MOH (her sister).

 

[TwoMisfits]

Thank you all for your replies. I was thinking a bunch of smaller stuff off the registry and maybe bringing something personal to the shower. I saw a bath robe that said bride on the back. Opinions? Also, she doesn’t have a traditional bridal party. The only person she’s having is her MOH (her sister).

Since it's your brother-in-law, I'd pick the item off the registry you think he most wants...

I'd also lean more for a "singular" gift than a bunch of items - it's easier for a bride to fill in cheap items later than the pricier ones.

As for what I'd spend, if it's a direct in-law (like your spouse's brother), I'd probably spend $100.

Edit to Add: And this would be my only "item" gift for the bridal couple. At the wedding, I'd give a check.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

For both showers and wedding gifts I usually try to do a theme based on their registry so I'll group certain baking things together or other kitchen things together, then household things together, decor together, etc.

Spend with what you're comfortable with; it can also make the experience more fun to pick out the gifts when it's coming from that and less about some perceived amount you have to spend.

Generally speaking couples who are considerate of their guests choose items that appeal to all sorts of their family and friends in terms of price range. For some items they may put several that fit different categories. I remember we put some lower-mid grade sheets and then we put a higher end sheet set

As far as personal-level gifts just make sure you know the couple's tastes and desires (that's what the registry helps with). A gift is something to always be appreciated and when it's personal-level there's always a background "I've thought of you" thing. I know for us while I do have what is considered so cliché of a "live, laugh, love" sign in my kitchen an "established XXXX" is just not to our liking. Of course we would be appreciative no matter what, it just wouldn't be to our liking for our decor. And for us in particular I hyphenated my name although that is something only those extremely close to us would have known and we still got checks from close family members with his last name only (and we still do til this day almost no one addressed the envelope appropriately). Any case just make sure if you do a gift outside of the registry it's one you know matches your incoming in-law and your brother's cup of tea.

For the most recent wedding we went to of one of our DISer friends we bought an item from their registry but last fall while we were at a fall festival we ran into a booth where a woman used cloth pieces, twine and stuffing to make a pumpkin. The stem was a piece of wine cork. The pattern we saw was a star wars one and we know the couple loves star wars and they enjoy fall/halloween so it was a random personalized gift and as soon as we saw it we knew we had to get that (we did also have expressed permission to go outside of the registry).

 

[KPeterso]

I am in the spend what you can afford camp. I went to a shower a number of years ago for my high school friends. She was registered at 3 high end places. I got all the registries and after discovering most of the affordable stuff was bought already, I looked at the styles and colors she registered for and bought something (a nice crystal vase) I thought she might like. It had to be a better option than 1 teaspoon from tiffany's that was over $100 which was my shower budget.

 

[SandyinMonterey]

I stick to where they're registered at. I spend about $100-$150. I don't mind sticking to what they have on their lists, just don't expect me to buy the $400 Kitchen Aid mixer or something like that. I did not register for my wedding or baby. I, personally, did not feel "right" with making a list and telling people what to buy. I know, I know.....it's done everyday but just not me. I was happy with whatever they wanted to give us.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I, personally, did not feel "right" with making a list and telling people what to buy. I know, I know.....it's done everyday but just not me.

I know for many that have expressed a desire for a registry it's the stress of trying to find just what the couple would want, they would rather have a list to go off of than a blank slate. I can understand how you felt though and I bet you your wedding guests understood that was your personal feelings about the registry

 

[mjkacmom]

I’d get one item off of the registry in your price range. I would not wear a robe with bride on the back, I’m not a sign person (to the extent that I decline going to sign making/wine drinking events with friends since I wouldn’t hang it).

 

[mom2rtk]

You really need to ask around locally. This is going to vary greatly by region.

 

[Wendy31]

Is the robe listed on her registry?

If not, if I were you, I wouldn’t get the robe - unless you just KNOW it’s the kind of thing your future sister-in-law would like.

For a bridal shower, I usually purchase a household related item/items off the registry - I’ll spend more for family.

What I purchase depends on what’s on the registry. Sometimes, I just go w/ one larger item. Other times, like other posters have suggested, I may get a few different but related things & put together a themed gift basket. Depending on what the items are, I may add a few things that may not necessarily be on the registry but are related to the overall theme of the other items.

For the wedding itself, in our area, it’s customary for the couple to receive both gifts &/or monetary gifts at the wedding. In other words, at weddings, you’ll usually find a gift table w/ wrapped gifts for the couple, but the couple will also receive cards w/ checks & cash included.

So, again, for family, we spend more on our wedding gift. In some instances, we’ve just given a card w/ cash at the wedding. But, for others, we’ve sometimes purchased something off the registry for the wedding gift as well - usually an item that is more lasting or significant than a regular household item like bath towels... maybe a piece of their china or something similar. And then we also include a monetary gift. If we’re giving both a wrapped gift off the registry & a monetary gift, the amount of the monetary gift is not as much as it would be if we were ONLY giving a monetary gift.

I usually only do personalized items if we know the bride or groom really well. For instance, for one wedding, in which I knew the bride really well & knew the kind of things she liked, I had a personal print w/ their names & wedding date made & framed, & we gave that for our wedding gift along w/ monetary gift in the card.

 

[Disneylover99]

Not a fan of catered showers in a hall. I’d probably spend between $100-$150 for a gift and stick to the registry. I might buy one, more expensive gift or a combination of less expensive gifts. It really depends on what’s on the list.

 

[_19disnA]

I agree with others and would buy something within your budget. The amount will vary based on what is in your price range, so there isn't going to be a specific dollar amount that applies to everyone. I am not clear if you mean there is a separate registry for just the shower or were you referring to the wedding registry? If the registry only has pricey items over your budget, I think the gift card idea to that store is a good alternative.