Bridal shower gift?

[Her Dotness]

This will sound odd, I'm sure, but one of the best shower gifts I got was a bag of cloth rags. So thoughtful because you sometimes need something sturdier than paper towels to wipe up.

Putting together some cleaning supplies in a basket along with the rags is an inexpensive and often appreciated gift, especially if the newlyweds will be moving into a new place.

 

[SandyinMonterey]

I know for many that have expressed a desire for a registry it's the stress of trying to find just what the couple would want, they would rather have a list to go off of than a blank slate. I can understand how you felt though and I bet you your wedding guests understood that was your personal feelings about the registry

I got married at WDW. Had a small wedding. People who came were coming from all over so that was an expense for them. Even if I didn't have a destination wedding, I wouldn't have done a registry. Didn't do it with baby shower either. But if I'm doing the shopping, I do appreciate a registry. Makes it easier.

 

[kymom99]

This will sound odd, I'm sure, but one of the best shower gifts I got was a bag of cloth rags. So thoughtful because you sometimes need something sturdier than paper towels to wipe up.

Putting together some cleaning supplies in a basket along with the rags is an inexpensive and often appreciated gift, especially if the newlyweds will be moving into a new place.

How funny you say that! In fact, 33 years ago my aunt made me a “rag bag” and filled it with cloth rags. I was thinking about it when I was reading this thread.

 

[ronandannette]

You really need to ask around locally. This is going to vary greatly by region.

Very true. I have never in my life been to a shower where the value of the gifts were in the $100+ range. Nor would I be willing to spend that. If that's what it's come to, I guess I'm glad we're in a season of life where there aren't any weddings happening in our circle.

 

[kymom99]

Very true. I have never in my life been to a shower where the value of the gifts were in the $100+ range. Nor would I be willing to spend that. If that's what it's come to, I guess I'm glad we're in a season of life where there aren't any weddings happening in our circle.

I know where you live matters when it comes to this topic. Last year my niece got married. For her shower I bought her a gift that cost about $40. I felt like that was a generous gift for us. It was off her registry and I felt like it was something they would enjoy together. I gave a cash gift for the wedding. I don’t remember for sure but it was more than I’ve given for someone who was not family. I’m sure they appreciated it. I’m going to add that her wedding was 2 hours away. So we had to drive there and back in a day. We couldn’t stay over because we had to bring a relative who needed to come back home that night. They asked us to bring him. So I felt like that was going the extra mile to make their day what they wanted it to be.

 

[sk!mom]

As it happens, DH and I are going to a couple’s shower for my nephew today. We purchased a robot vacuum from their registry. We’ve been very close to him his whole life so a more expensive gift was in order.

In general, I consider my budget and the closeness of the relationship. For a coworker recently who I don’t know well and do not work with closely $20-25. I always purchase from the registry. If there is nothing left in my price range, I’ll do a gift card or purchase something like additional towels in their choice since that’s generally something that you can’t have too much of.

I never do decor or something personal unless it’s just on their registry. Maybe because I’m a teacher who receives many of that type of gift (signs, frames, etc) and while lovely and a nice thought. They are often something that doesn’t fit my style and aren’t used.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

For me it depends on what the bride is registered for - but I usually go for stemware, china or silverware.

Typically $150 and up depending on the relationship to the bride.

 

[sk!mom]

Very true. I have never in my life been to a shower where the value of the gifts were in the $100+ range. Nor would I be willing to spend that. If that's what it's come to, I guess I'm glad we're in a season of life where there aren't any weddings happening in our circle.

Just a few years ago, I’d have agreed but when DD married at the end of 2019, I was astounded by the generosity of our friends. So many of ours and the groom’s parents friends gave really expensive gifts. It honestly has made me more generous with those I know well.

 

[Once.Upon.A.Time]

Thank you all for your replies. We ended up going with a bunch of small gifts.

 

[DisneyMomx7]

$100-$150

 

[aprilgail]

I buy such gifts based on my own budget, not what someone else thinks is appropriate. If it's someone I'm close to, they are happy just to know I thought of them; if it's someone who would get upset, well not likely anyone I'm close to so it doesn't matter. That said, I usually buy a bridal shower gift off the registry - maybe a something from their china.

Do people really still put china on their registries?? I don't think I have seen china on a registry in 10 years- my daughter is getting married next year and just did her registry and no china there either, she is like "why the heck would I want that".
I typically spend 75-100 for a shower gift- the main gift is the wedding gift so the shower is just a smaller amount.

 

[QueenIsabella]

Do people really still put china on their registries?? I don't think I have seen china on a registry in 10 years- my daughter is getting married next year and just did her registry and no china there either, she is like "why the heck would I want that".
I typically spend 75-100 for a shower gift- the main gift is the wedding gift so the shower is just a smaller amount.

China does seem to be unfashionable these days. That said, in our attic we have my mom's china, and DH's grandmother's china. First daughter to marry gets first pick--it'll likely be D26 (dating the same guy for 4 years). She'll probably pick my mom's--service for 6, just white plates with a platinum rim, so easy to work with any type of table linens or arrangements. The "grandma" set is more ornate, but very pretty. This way, my girls will have formal china, but won't have spent any money on it. If they seem interested, I'd be willing to replace the few broken pieces to complete the sets.

Whether they actually use the china remains to be seen.

As to the OP--I know she's already done, but if I knew the bride/groom fairly well, I might order something off of Etsy that fit their personal style. Or, stick with the registry.

 

[_19disnA]

None of the recent weddings we have been to had any type of china on their gift registry. It seems young married couples have less interest in something they might only use a few times per year and more interested in gifts having greater utility. New home floor plans often eliminate the seldom used 'formal dining room' and rework the floorplan adding more useable space in areas like an eat-in kitchen or family room, something you use daily. Always thought it was a waste of space in my parents home to have a dining room you used maybe 3-4 times per year that sat empty the rest of the time.

 

[easyas123]

That said, in our attic we have my mom's china, and DH's grandmother's china. First daughter to marry gets first pick

That's what we are doing, too. I've got a few sets I inherited from my grandmother & great grandmother. I'll let the new daughter in laws pick out what they might like, if they want it. I like the idea that it's in the family.

 

[sheilafri]

For both showers and wedding gifts I usually try to do a theme based on their registry so I'll group certain baking things together or other kitchen things together, then household things together, decor together, etc.

Spend with what you're comfortable with; it can also make the experience more fun to pick out the gifts when it's coming from that and less about some perceived amount you have to spend.

Generally speaking couples who are considerate of their guests choose items that appeal to all sorts of their family and friends in terms of price range. For some items they may put several that fit different categories. I remember we put some lower-mid grade sheets and then we put a higher end sheet set

As far as personal-level gifts just make sure you know the couple's tastes and desires (that's what the registry helps with). A gift is something to always be appreciated and when it's personal-level there's always a background "I've thought of you" thing. I know for us while I do have what is considered so cliché of a "live, laugh, love" sign in my kitchen an "established XXXX" is just not to our liking. Of course we would be appreciative no matter what, it just wouldn't be to our liking for our decor. And for us in particular I hyphenated my name although that is something only those extremely close to us would have known and we still got checks from close family members with his last name only (and we still do til this day almost no one addressed the envelope appropriately). Any case just make sure if you do a gift outside of the registry it's one you know matches your incoming in-law and your brother's cup of tea.

For the most recent wedding we went to of one of our DISer friends we bought an item from their registry but last fall while we were at a fall festival we ran into a booth where a woman used cloth pieces, twine and stuffing to make a pumpkin. The stem was a piece of wine cork. The pattern we saw was a star wars one and we know the couple loves star wars and they enjoy fall/halloween so it was a random personalized gift and as soon as we saw it we knew we had to get that (we did also have expressed permission to go outside of the registry).

Maybe I am way out of line but I feel like a gift is a gift, not a shakedown. I don’t feel constrained by a registry. Although I try to buy off a registry the idea that a recipient would be mad that the gift wasn’t on their registry really irks me. I recognize that they have the right to dispose of gifts as they see fit so if it goes straight to Goodwill so be it.

 

[mjkacmom]

I had my great aunts China, never used it, added it to the 3 full sets at my parents estate sale. Seriously you can’t give it away! My mom said the first one to get married would get the encyclopedia set - of course no one wanted it.

 

[lanejudy]

Do people really still put china on their registries??

Now that you mention it... I don't think the last 3 that I've looked at and bought from had any actual china, but at least one had some other type of tableware/servingware listed (not bone china or stoneware - I don't recall the brand).

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Maybe I am way out of line but I feel like a gift is a gift, not a shakedown. I don’t feel constrained by a registry. Although I try to buy off a registry the idea that a recipient would be mad that the gift wasn’t on their registry really irks me. I recognize that they have the right to dispose of gifts as they see fit so if it goes straight to Goodwill so be it.

You're not out of line it's just how you feel, registries just tend to really be less stress on all parties. Places that don't do registries as a normal likely don't have this feeling. I don't think anyone mentioned anyone feeling mad. The conversation was about understanding someone's taste level if not going with the registry (which that helps to know what they want), someone mentioned getting the established thing. That's a highly personalized gift such that you would want to make sure they actually want that. It's etched with a last name and a date. Taking that to good will would be a tad pointless in that respects. And for me my last name isn't my husband's so in that case it would personally (so I'm not asking others to feel the same way) feel weird. For that reason I haven't bought anything like that not a monogram flag or anything else.

Sorta off topic but sorta on I remember that on our registry we put noritake colorwave sets but in all different colors. I loved the idea of mixing and matching all these beautiful colors together. We purposefully put a wide variety of colors and only 1 (or 2) quantities of the same color. Each set had a dinner plate, salad plate, bowl and coffee mug. The price point I want to say back then was maybe $40 or so so it was economical for many. When we ended up opening those gifts (which I think we did the bulk of that after the honeymoon because we left the next day after our wedding and gifts were still being mailed during that time) I remember some people who I think were more traditional in their thinking buying us 4 sets of the same color likely thinking "oh no they surely want matching sets" We ended up returning some gifts and exchanging others and for those dish sets in particular we just exchanged for other colors. Sure 4 reds might seem nice but I liked that I have red, black, green, teal, blue, brown, etc

So even with registries sometimes people take what they think they would want and get that for the couple. Registries aren't perfect either on that front.

Regardless gifts are always appreciative sometimes the giver goes a bit more into what they want though, it happens to us all.

 

[sheilafri]

You're not out of line it's just how you feel, registries just tend to really be less stress on all parties. Places that don't do registries as a normal likely don't have this feeling. I don't think anyone mentioned anyone feeling mad. The conversation was about understanding someone's taste level if not going with the registry (which that helps to know what they want), someone mentioned getting the established thing. That's a highly personalized gift such that you would want to make sure they actually want that. It's etched with a last name and a date. Taking that to good will would be a tad pointless in that respects. And for me my last name isn't my husband's so in that case it would personally (so I'm not asking others to feel the same way) feel weird. For that reason I haven't bought anything like that not a monogram flag or anything else.

Sorta off topic but sorta on I remember that on our registry we put noritake colorwave sets but in all different colors. I loved the idea of mixing and matching all these beautiful colors together. We purposefully put a wide variety of colors and only 1 (or 2) quantities of the same color. Each set had a dinner plate, salad plate, bowl and coffee mug. The price point I want to say back then was maybe $40 or so so it was economical for many. When we ended up opening those gifts (which I think we did the bulk of that after the honeymoon because we left the next day after our wedding and gifts were still being mailed during that time) I remember some people who I think were more traditional in their thinking buying us 4 sets of the same color likely thinking "oh no they surely want matching sets" We ended up returning some gifts and exchanging others and for those dish sets in particular we just exchanged for other colors. Sure 4 reds might seem nice but I liked that I have red, black, green, teal, blue, brown, etc

So even with registries sometimes people take what they think they would want and get that for the couple. Registries aren't perfect either on that front.

Regardless gifts are always appreciative sometimes the giver goes a bit more into what they want though, it happens to us all.

As I said, I try to use the registry, especially as I’m at an age where I’m attending the weddings of children of my friends. I don’t necessarily know the couple well so it really helps me figure out what they would like. I remember one shower where I picked an insulated casserole from the registry and crocheted some dishcloths to coordinate. The dishcloths were a hit but obviously no one puts your handmade dishcloths on a registry.

 

[evilmommie]

Re registering for china: My oldest daughter got married last week and registered for everyday dinnerware from Crate and Barrel. Nicer than a boxed set you’d buy from Target but obviously not fine chinaware.

I have a set of Lenox dinnerware and a tea set by Noritake. Both of my girls want certain pieces…hahaha. You take it all if you want it!

I will say that I think there is a bit of a revival with fine china. I’m seeing it in home magazines presented as vintage pieces mixed with updated color. The style is called “Grand Millennial”. https://southernhospitalityblog.com/a-look-at-grandmillennial-style/