Breathalyzers and Proms

[TimeforMe]

Interesting response mrsltg.

Yes, my kids' high school does breathalyzers at prom to kids suspected of drinking. They also make them sign a prom promise (along with their parents) beforehand stating that they agree to the rules and consequences. The consequences being that if they are caught, they're unable to participate in graduation ceremonies. This actually happened two years ago and some of the parents (especially the ones of the 4 who it happened to) were up in arms. I applaud the school for abiding by the rules...the kids signed the promise, they knew what the consequences were but still chose to break the rules.

 

[ckmommy]

I am a mom of very young children , like mrsltg. I know that I am in complete agreement with the brethalyzers at proms. Why in the world would you not be in favor of this?? Drinking with teens is out of hand. I do not really know how much it has changed since I was in HS, but the majority of the prom-goers at my time came to prom drunk. Having a brethalyzer would have stopped this drinking at least prior to prom. Our prom was city wide--you drove (in the coolest car you could find or rent) up to a red carpet and were escorted in by either your date or a Rotery Club (this club put on the prom for us) member--then met your date before entering the hall where the prom was being held. This was the highlight of your high school experiemce. No one wanted to miss out driveing to the red carpet, walking the red carpet being put on TV--our local channel, having a large crowd cheer for you as you were walking up to the hall and seeing the spread that was put out for us for the prom itself.

I hope as my kids grow up they are using a brethalyzer during their proms--it truly could be a lifesaver!!

 

[mrsltg]

Oh my, so many things to respond to!

Firstly, no, I'm not in favor of underage drinking. My specific problem with this is simple -what difference does this policy make? No one can give me a specific difference. So the kids don't drink before prom. Ok. How does this make them safer? As I stated in a previous post, it's a show. It's yet another time when we (the collective we) decide "anything is better than nothing."

Further, no one has responded to the issue of a kid being arrested. Cops are not chaperones. If you invite an officer to the prom to administer breathalyzers, they are sworn to uphold the law. Therefore, someone can be arrested, even if they are not drunk. Not too long ago the drinking age was 18 (you know, same age as voting, draft, etc). The better part of a graduating class will have reached that age. The have constitutional guarantees and I don't think they should be forfitted in the name of safety. And again. I wait for ONE example of how this policy has made anyone SAFER. If you want to administer breathalyzers to the kids DRIVING home after the prom, so be it. Once they are at the prom, what are you changing?

(I am sorry, DVCLiz, if your kids aren't going to touch alcohol until they are 21 - and please, let me know how that goes for them as you are clearly the bastion of good parenting. If a parent chooses to toast their child's success with a glass of champagne at the age of 18 I hardly see a problem with it. See, I believe -STRONGLY- that alcohol is not the problem. So much so that I allow my dd -FIVE YEARS OLD - to sip my wine, have her own small glass of champagne, take a taste of Dad's beer - so that this wonderful world of alcohol that opens up when she gets to high school/college is of little interest to her as opposed to the drunken messes I went to college with who wound up with alcohol poisoning because Mom and Dad had made it forbidden fruit. I'm not letting anyone else's kid drink at my house much less get drunk. I digress.)

I'm not assuming anyone is being unjustly denied entrance to their prom. Rather, I brought up a specific example of blowing a .02 with NO alcoholic beverage consumption. What policy is in place to protect that child? Again, no one can answer because no one cares. This doesn't conveniently fit into the "I need someone to police my kids for me."

The way I see it is very simple. These students should not be treated as though they've done something wrong. Signing a promise saying they won't drink should be more than enough. If they do, they should be sent home. Otherwise, what have you been teaching them all of these years? Their final lesson is, "We don't trust you." I trust my kids - and if for some reason I don't when they are older, prom will be a non-issue.

 

[Pam]

Think about this situation for a minute and see how uneducated your answers really are about this.

OUCH!!!

Can we say "What a very rude and obnoxious reply that was"???
It was also very uncalled for, imo.

 

[mrsltg]

I hope as my kids grow up they are using a brethalyzer during their proms--it truly could be a lifesaver!!

Why don't you instead raise them so that they won't drink and drive, or won't get into the car with someone who has been? If the breathalyzer is at the prom, they have to get there first. The cart is WAY before the horse here.

 

[DVCLiz]

(I am sorry, DVCLiz, if your kids aren't going to touch alcohol until they are 21 - and please, let me know how that goes for them as you are clearly the bastion of good parenting. If a parent chooses to toast their child's success with a glass of champagne at the age of 18 I hardly see a problem with it. See, I believe -STRONGLY- that alcohol is not the problem. So much so that I allow my dd -FIVE YEARS OLD - to sip my wine, have her own small glass of champagne, take a taste of Dad's beer - so that this wonderful world of alcohol that opens up when she gets to high school/college is of little interest to her as opposed to the drunken messes I went to college with who wound up with alcohol poisoning because Mom and Dad had made it forbidden fruit. I'm not letting anyone else's kid drink at my house much less get drunk. I digress.)

OK, I'm not sure how to answer this as you and I are clearly on completely different planets when it comes to this issue. I'm not assuming my children won't drink before they are 21 - the issue on this thread is the prom and how some schools are choosing to monitor student drinking that night. If you're comfortable taking the chance that you won't be found out as the parent who served the alcohol, then be my guest. In my state, there are pretty severe legal penalties if you're caught. I'm not willing to take the chance.

I am not certain that giving alcohol to a small child is guaranteed to alleviate the problem of high school and college drunkenness. I, too, have let my 17 year old have a sip of wine on occasion - but not when she was going to leave the house, go out for an entire evening in a car, and become the responsibility of other adults who have put their trust in me to make a good decision before allowing her to go to the prom.

If you are serving your five year old sips of wine, small glasses of champagne and tastes of dad's beer, then nothing I can possibly say will be of any interest to you. I guess the bottom line is that we are each glad to be the kind of parent we are.

 

[Galahad]

If you invite an officer to the prom to administer breathalyzers, they are sworn to uphold the law. Therefore, someone can be arrested, even if they are not drunk.

The officers administer the test and turn the kids over to their parents. They do this all the time with teen drinkers under other circumstances. They are not bound to arrest them.

A school has no obligation to absorb the liablity of teenage drinking. If this serves no other purpose that to protect the school and therefore allow it to continue to afford to do it's job on Monday morning then it's worth it.

I can teach my kid perfectly what THEY should do with respect to drinking. But that has no affect on the other kids. I may trust mine, but I am rational enough to not trust teenagers in general when it comes to this. If this protects the kids who would be sober from the kids who otherwise wouldn't then it is worth it.

 

[mrsltg]

A school has no obligation to absorb the liablity of teenage drinking. If this serves no other purpose that to protect the school and therefore allow it to continue to afford to do it's job on Monday morning then it's worth it.

I can teach my kid perfectly what THEY should do with respect to drinking. But that has no affect on the other kids. I may trust mine, but I am rational enough to not trust teenagers in general when it comes to this. If this protects the kids who would be sober from the kids who otherwise wouldn't then it is worth it.

That's very different from saying, "this is being done for safety." There is nothing about this that promotes a safe environment. If this is CYA for the school, it's whole different issue. Further, what are you protecting your kid from at the prom itself? The same kids who are going to drink will do so afterward just as easily as before. Nothing has changed as far as how safe your kids are.

 

[Tiggeroo]

alot of schools around here have this. I just don't know if it should be random. They should test everybody. If they really want to protect the kids they should test on the way out. They always manage to smuggle something in and drink in the bathrooms during prom. I'd be more worried about them driving hom. Most kids take limos there but our school doesn't let them take them home??
I have two sons going to prom in two weeks. We've had more then one talk on drinking safety this week.

 

[jgmklmhem]

Prom is not a right guranteed under the constitution. As has been stated an agreement by the parents and I assume the student is signed saying you must pass the test to go to prom. This is not a sting operation. Everyone knows that it will be there ahead of time. I also assume the consequences of a failed test are also outlined clearly ahead of time. The purpose of course is to make sure everyone entering prom is sober. If a school has gone through the expense to do these tests then they have probably had numerous problems in th past and feel this is a way they can protect the prom goers from someone who is drunk and also serve as a deterrant to drinking as well as protect themselves legally.

 

[golfgal]

OUCH!!!

Can we say "What a very rude and obnoxious reply that was"???
It was also very uncalled for, imo.

It was not meant to be rude or obnoxious at all, I was pointing out that the poster is not educated on the issues surrounding proms these days, plain and simple.

Also, the police are NOT obligated to arrest anyone, even someone underage, if they show up drunk. They can arrest them if they show up drunk with a can of beer in their hand or if they catch them driving while intoxicated. They have to be caught in the act of drinking or they have to be doing something illegal--driving drunk. I am sorry but mrsltg is just plain wrong about this. Maybe the proms in her area are not like the proms in our area where everyone goes to a big after prom party but every prom in our area is like this.

Also, the comment about having champagne with the parents before prom pretty much says it all, it is ok in her mind for kids to be drinking on prom night.

 

[mrsltg]

It was not meant to be rude or obnoxious at all, I was pointing out that the poster is not educated on the issues surrounding proms these days, plain and simple.

Also, the police are NOT obligated to arrest anyone, even someone underage, if they show up drunk. They can arrest them if they show up drunk with a can of beer in their hand or if they catch them driving while intoxicated. They have to be caught in the act of drinking or they have to be doing something illegal--driving drunk. I am sorry but mrsltg is just plain wrong about this. Maybe the proms in her area are not like the proms in our area where everyone goes to a big after prom party but every prom in our area is like this.

Also, the comment about having champagne with the parents before prom pretty much says it all, it is ok in her mind for kids to be drinking on prom night.

Well, not every prom is the same. So you may be "uneducated" here. Having a glass of champagne on prom night is not exactly the same as showing up drunk. If it is in your mind, "that pretty much says it all" as well.

 

[golfgal]

Well, not every prom is the same. So you may be "uneducated" here. Having a glass of champagne on prom night is not exactly the same as showing up drunk. If it is in your mind, "that pretty much says it all" as well.

No, it isn't the same thing as showing up drunk but it is just as bad, it is mom and dad saying, hey, have a great time at prom and we don't care if you drink tonight or not. How would you feel if the last thing you did with your child, EVER, was have a glass of champagne on prom night.

 

[mrsltg]

No, it isn't the same thing as showing up drunk but it is just as bad, it is mom and dad saying, hey, have a great time at prom and we don't care if you drink tonight or not. How would you feel if the last thing you did with your child, EVER, was have a glass of champagne on prom night.

You're speaking to the wrong parent. I've already lost a child. I would kill to have a glass of champagne with him on prom night - be it the first, last or only thing I did with him. Obviously you don't know this circumstance though, so fair enough. I mean you no offense by answering that way, just answering honestly.

I don't agree with you on this at all. Toasting with a glass of champagne and binge drinking are completely different. My kids will know the difference. Having a glass of wine with dinner with Mom and Dad (or Grandma & Grandpa) is completely different than having 12 beers in 2 hours. I'm sure you'd agree. There won't be irresponsible drinking on prom night with my kids. If I thought there would be they wouldn't go. Could they still do it? Sure. But would they associate my letting have champagne out of a waterford flute with Miller lite out of a plastic cup? Probably not.

 

[NeverlandClub23]

My prom was 6-7 years ago and we didn't have Breathalyzers. Although, long story short my date (boyfriend at the time) was kicked out because he had apparently been drinking that night and the cops at the prom (we had cops at all of our dances) smelled it on him and made him do a Breathalyzer. I didn't care as I was irritated that he would drink and put me in that position in front of everyone I went to school with and was glad to take him home to return to the dance with my friends.

Longer version of the story:
I had been in the bathroom at dinner (before prom) consoling (sp?) my friend who's boyfriend had just broken up with her and showed up at the restaurant with another girl. Apparently my date (who was 18 at the time and didn't go to my school) ordered several drinks from our server but no one ever told me and I didn't get to eat dinner. And I'm evidentally naive and clueless as I never smelled it on him. I had never had a drink in my life at the time.

My prom sucked. Well, so did my Ring dance junior year (my date left me there with no ride home and took my cell phone). So does that mean my wedding will be spectacular when I get married?

 

[Deb in IA]

I think it is a GREAT idea.

A Breathalyzer is an inanimate object, mrsltg, and doesn't accuse anyone of being guilty. It is a screening tool. If you are innocent, you'll pass. If you've been drinking, you'll test positive.

As for your 5 year old drinking alcohol, well, studies have all shown that the earlier, not later, children begin drinking, the higher the chances they will become alcoholics later in life.

 

[Galahad]

Further, what are you protecting your kid from at the prom itself? .

Other kids driving TO the prom after drinking. Violence as a result of kids drinking. It sure is about safety, or the "CYA" wouldn't be necessary.

The really is a bizarre thing to be so vehemently against.

 

[DVCLiz]

Legal issues aside for a moment, this is also an excellent opportunity to point out the virtue of using COMMON SENSE to your teen. As I said to my daughter before a Christmas dance famous for its drinking, "Why choose the one night a year when every set of adult eyes that comes your way is going to be assessing whether you look drunk? Why choose the one night whn you are almost guaranteed to be busted? If you want to sneak a beer or two, why not choose a night when you're already sleeping over at someone's house and the parents think you've gone to bed?"

I'm not naive about teen drinking - I know what goes on. But the night of any big dance is not the night to be pushing those limits - it's just stupid.

 

[ckmommy]

Why don't you instead raise them so that they won't drink and drive, or won't get into the car with someone who has been? If the breathalyzer is at the prom, they have to get there first. The cart is WAY before the horse here.

I think you are altogether missing the point. If the breathalizer is at the prom--and it known fact to all prom-goers that it will be there And, prom being one of the major events in a HS life--I would think that many would not drink before prom for fear they would be "caught" and not let into prom plus being embarassed by having their PARENTS have to PICK them up.

And, yes I plan to encourage my kids to not drink and drive or get in the car with anyone who has been drinking and driving.

But, I have to say, I will NOT be serving my kids any alcohol before prom or any other dance they are going to. "Hey kids, here is a glass of wine for you start the prom night off right--take the keys to the car and be careful!" Sorry that seems really wacked to me.

 

[mrsltg]

Other kids driving TO the prom after drinking. Violence as a result of kids drinking. It sure is about safety, or the "CYA" wouldn't be necessary.

The really is a bizarre thing to be so vehemently against.

I'm vehemently against treating people - in this case, many of them legal adults - like idiots. I am vehemently against having rules for the sake of having everyone say, "oh, now we're safer" with absolutely nothing to back that up with at all. These "kids" will be moving out and going to college two to three months after this prom. If they're not trustworthy enough to be taken at their word now, how are you going to do it then?

Also, you're concerned about them driving to the prom? Fair enough. Will they be using their Star Trek transporters to get around the rest of the night? I don't think so. If they haven't yet been taught not to drink and drive the message is not going to suddenly become clearer because they will be tested. They now simply know when not to drink. I agree DVCLiz, this is common sense. It seems to me the point you are making to your kids is, "just drink on night when you won't get caught," as opposed to, "I trust your judgement. I expect you to behave accordingly."


You are correct, Deb. A breathalyzer is inanimate. However, I was always under the impression you were innocent until proven guilty, not vice versa - clearly I could be wrong, I haven't had a chance to read the Journal yet today. Also, I believe some of the studies you refer to had control problems. Kids with alcoholic parents are exposed to alcohol younger and have a problem later. Kids seeing their parents drinking - controlled- while being allowed to consume small amounts as well, did just fine. The crux of it being the lack of problems with teenage alcohol consumption in European countries where this was the norm.