Boys in the Women's Bathroom

[Anya22]

At what age do you send a son into the men's bathroom by himself at a crowded place like Disney? This question popped into my mind yesterday when I was out with my 6.5 year old by myself and I took him with me into the women's bathroom. (We weren't at Disney. We were at the theater in our city seeing Peter Pan.) I didn't get any funny looks or anything, but it just got me thinking about our next trip to Disney and I wondered what other people do....

 

[scoutie]

Go to the Community Board, and scroll down. There's an active thread on this very topic. This topic is debated every other week or so!

 

[crisi]

My son, probably four and a half - I don't know for sure that he went without his Dad at four - when we were at Disney at that age my husband would have likely gone with him. But he did use men's rooms by himself starting at around that age. Depends on the venue and the kid and your need.

Disney restrooms are pretty busy and have lots of Dad's in them, and that makes the relatively safe. A truck stop on the way down - that's a whole different equation. A movie theatre in my town - that depends on the theatre and the time of day.

 

[Schmeck]

We were just there last week, and there were very few boys in the ladies' restroom. I saw just 4, (don't ask me why I counted?) and they were toddler/preschool sized. One mom was having a very hard time keeping her little boy occupied while she went the bathroom. Don't know if she ever managed to go!

 

[123LuckyMom]

In that community thread mentioned above, one woman had asked Disney, and they set the cut-off at age 10 except in the case of a disability. I, personally, would say age 8.

 

[Marionnette]

You can use the Companion Bathrooms, sometimes called Family Bathrooms, if you feel that you need to accompany your opposite-sex child into the restroom. They have them in every park.

My sons began using the men's room by themselves when they started grade school (age 6?). I would nervously wait outside of the restroom door while they were in there but I told myself that I needed to let go at some point. Having the two of them go in together helped to ease my nervousness.

 

[MSSANDRA]

I let mine go at WDW at 8. VERY debated and personal decision. Whatever age you go with, just be sure that that bathroom has only one way in and out and that you be very clear where you will meet your child when you exit. My issue was we both had to go so I could not just stand outside the men's room or if I did, he had to wait outside again for me.Some places the boys went earlier than 8 and some places later. Boys went with the guys any time that was possible after about 4.

 

[starsweeper]

I also have a 6.5yo son. I would not send him into a WDW men's restroom alone. I take him into the women's restroom with me if DH is not there. I don't think I would feel comfortable sending him alone to a men's restroom before age 10, and then I would stand just outside.

 

[BensWife]

I also have a 6.5yo son. I would not send him into a WDW men's restroom alone. I take him into the women's restroom with me if DH is not there. I don't think I would feel comfortable sending him alone to a men's restroom before age 10, and then I would stand just outside.

This is how I feel. I am an elementary teacher, and would think a 3rd/4th grade boy would be ok by himself, but no younger than that for me. Even when my sons get to be that age I think I will be freaking out the whole time they are in there alone!

 

[melindae10]

At the YMCA in our town the cut off is 5 years old. But that is also a locker room. They also have the family changing areas. I was just talking to my husband about this. My DD just turned 5 and I let her go to the bathroom by herself while we were at Costco. I felt more comfortable because I knew there were at lot of women and Moms in those bathrooms. I told my husband that I don't think I would let my DS who is now 2 do the same when he is 5. Guess I just don't trust men as much I love the family bathroom idea!

 

[I loveStitchnippyjon]

At the YMCA in our town the cut off is 5 years old. But that is also a locker room. They also have the family changing areas. I was just talking to my husband about this. My DD just turned 5 and I let her go to the bathroom by herself while we were at Costco. I felt more comfortable because I knew there were at lot of women and Moms in those bathrooms. I told my husband that I don't think I would let my DS who is now 2 do the same when he is 5. Guess I just don't trust men as much I love the family bathroom idea!

One of the reasons we quit our local YMCA was that there was no age policy for boys in the ladies locker room! I got tired of seeing 8 or 9 year old boys coming in with their Moms when I was dressing.

 

[Claire&TheBoys]

I let my oldest start going to the Disney restrooms by himself when he was 7, almost 8. We were there without my husband and I had my youngest (then 4) to take to the restroom with me. It was easier to say, "meet me RIGHT HERE when you're done," and send him in to the men's room while I took my preschooler to the ladies' room. He was definitely ready to use the men's room by himself and I felt that Disney was a fairly safe place for him to do that. Interstate rest areas, no, Disney bathrooms with tons of people in and out, yes.

 

[Sugar Jones]

It totally depends on where we are.

If both boys are with me my 10 year old takes his 8 year old brother. If my oldest is not with us my 8 year old will sometimes go on his own, but he is has severe anxiety, and if he's feeling anxious for any reason we try to find a family washroom, or if I have to I will bring him into the women's.

I think I agree with 10 yr age cutoff, unless there are special needs issues.

 

[Timandalicia]

At what age do you send a son into the men's bathroom by himself at a crowded place like Disney? This question popped into my mind yesterday when I was out with my 6.5 year old by myself and I took him with me into the women's bathroom. (We weren't at Disney. We were at the theater in our city seeing Peter Pan.) I didn't get any funny looks or anything, but it just got me thinking about our next trip to Disney and I wondered what other people do....

There is no societal debate on this topic, only individual debate. Society is in your side, despite what heuristics the opposition might provide (personal experience, available data, etc). In our society- boy in women's room ok up to 8. Mom in men's room not ok. Girl in men's room over 5, not ok because of visual exposure. Dad in women's room not okay (I know- they're outa luck. But who would want to put a girl in one of those stalls anyway. Gross).

 

[iheartdisney]

My DS was probably around 5.5-6 when he decided he wouldn't go in the ladies room with me anymore. When we were at Disneyland and he had not used the facilities in the 9 hours we were at the park, I had to realize that he was big enough to go pee and come out alive.
I've adjusted our travel routine, that i will stop at a fast food or gas stations instead of rest areas if I am traveling without DH.

 

[kevschickee]

At what age do you send a son into the men's bathroom by himself at a crowded place like Disney? This question popped into my mind yesterday when I was out with my 6.5 year old by myself and I took him with me into the women's bathroom. (We weren't at Disney. We were at the theater in our city seeing Peter Pan.) I didn't get any funny looks or anything, but it just got me thinking about our next trip to Disney and I wondered what other people do....

I would still be bringing him in with me at 6.5 esp in a busy place like wdw. I would say maybe like 8 or 9

 

[Annie78]

To me a locker room is a completely different situation than a restroom. In a normal public women's restroom with stalls and doors, I care less about the age of the boys present and more about their manners. I'd rather a polite ten year old boy than a six year old who thinks it's funny to look under the doors...

 

[Lilliputian]

I think the business of WDW restrooms actually makes them safer. Who's going to try something icky with all those other people around?

The part you need to be concerned about is if your son is old enough to come out of the restroom and stay in a pre-arranged meeting place (assuming you went into the ladies room at the same time) or if he'll wait for you in one place while you go to the restroom when he doesn't need to go. A lot of boys should be able to do that well somewhere around 6-7 years old, but there's a lot of variability there. Some are more easily distracted than others, especially in a busy place like WDW.

The other thing to be aware of is the few WDW restrooms that have more than one entrance. It can be easy to get turned around and come out a different place than where you went in. Even an adult can get confused for a few moments in that situation; a child can be completely bewildered. I can't remember off the top of my head which restrooms are like that. I think that there are two of them, but I can't tell you for sure where.

 

[Odyssey13]

Bathrooms are scary places. Any age should be accepted

 

[MistressMerryweather]

It's not really a matter of whether or not they should be in the woman's bathroom. There are stalls with doors.
I'm more concerned with leaving my 9yo standing outside waiting on me while I futz around with 3 other children(1yo, 4yo and 7yo), which can take 15-20 minutes, pottying, washing hands, diaper changing...
If there isn't a companion/family bathroom available, and my husband is not with me, I will bring him in.