Boys in the Women's Bathroom

[nhmommy]

It's not really a matter of whether or not they should be in the woman's bathroom. There are stalls with doors.
I'm more concerned with leaving my 9yo standing outside waiting on me while I futz around with 3 other children(1yo, 4yo and 7yo), which can take 15-20 minutes, pottying, washing hands, diaper changing...
If there isn't a companion/family bathroom available, and my husband is not with me, I will bring him in.

I agree completely!
I would be quicker to let my almost 3yo go into the mens room alone then I would leave my 11yo niece outside while I use the restroom.And there is now way I would leave a 5yo outside while I went into the locker room.

 

[luvmesometigger]

I wanna say my son was about 8 or 9 when I stopped. A lot of places have those family restrooms and we would look for those first.

 

[Lauren326]

We were in WDW in June/July & my DS was 9 at the time. We were there for 3weeks & I let him go into the men's once by himself & will never do it again. I was a nervous wreck the entire time & gosh forbid something would have happened, I would have never forgave myself. We are going again in May & my DS will be 10 & he WILL be coming into the women's bathroom with me (i'm a single mom so him going into the men's with someone isn't an option)

 

[Schmeck]

You can use the Companion Bathrooms, sometimes called Family Bathrooms, if you feel that you need to accompany your opposite-sex child into the restroom. They have them in every park.

My sons began using the men's room by themselves when they started grade school (age 6?). I would nervously wait outside of the restroom door while they were in there but I told myself that I needed to let go at some point. Having the two of them go in together helped to ease my nervousness.

They are not called Family Bathrooms at Disney. They are clearly marked as Companion Restrooms, and are not even on the regular maps, only on the Guests with Disabilities maps.

 

[Sparkly]

They are not called Family Bathrooms at Disney. They are clearly marked as Companion Restrooms, and are not even on the regular maps, only on the Guests with Disabilities maps.

Actually, I saw them marked on our copy of the regular park map, or at least this year's MK one.

 

[Leajess99]

We were in WDW in June/July & my DS was 9 at the time. We were there for 3weeks & I let him go into the men's once by himself & will never do it again. I was a nervous wreck the entire time & gosh forbid something would have happened, I would have never forgave myself. We are going again in May & my DS will be 10 & he WILL be coming into the women's bathroom with me (i'm a single mom so him going into the men's with someone isn't an option)

Seriously, you will take your 10 year old into the women's restroom?? I guess the rights of the girls don't matter to you since you were scared?? As a single mom, my son was still allowed and able to go to the bathroom by himself at 6 even a theme parks. He is 20 now and not once did he have anything bad happen.

 

[kevschickee]

I agree 10 is pushing it. I would never allow my 10 year old daughter to go in the mens room.

 

[wdw4rfam]

My son has autism and is 10. I always send him with DH when possible. I would take him in the womens only in an emergency if DH was on a ride and he really had to go, and I would NOT leave him I'd stand at the stall door. Not even sure he WOULD go in womens- but would be afraid he would try and strike up a conversation with the man next to him in the mens- making it even MORE awkward as there would be nobody to stop him. Its been so long, he'd probably wet himself before going in the girls, so most likely wouldn't be an issue. I would say 8 for an average child, but could be an exception if the child has a disability and the family restroom was NOT available. Has never happened with us. But I would hope before anyone passes judgement they would consider that this could be the situation, as autism is usually not visable.

 

[wdw4rfam]

Seriously, you will take your 10 year old into the women's restroom?? I guess the rights of the girls don't matter to you since you were scared?? As a single mom, my son was still allowed and able to go to the bathroom by himself at 6 even a theme parks. He is 20 now and not once did he have anything bad happen.

The rights of girls???? Last I checked the girls restroom had STALLS with locked doors. I dont think a 10 year old would be looking under the stall door. I dont think the average 10 year old boy would even WANT to go into a womens restroom- awkward...but REALLY??? I dont think anyone would argue that just because 14 years ago when you sent your 6 YO into the restroom and nothing happened, doesn't mean it wont happen today!!!I would agree with you that 10 is too old for the average child, but everyones idea of when its safe is different. Me for one, and my 16 YO DD dont feel our RIGHTS have been violated when we see a boy in the womens bathroom. I DO see my RIGHTS violated when ANY child peeps under the door- usually girls.

 

[nchulka]

Kids should be capable of going to the correct bathroom by 5-6. At that age they should also be able to be trusted to wait for you alone while you go. If your child isn't capable of this you've probably been doing too much for them and it's time for you to let them grow up a bit. If they are capable but you won't let them because of YOUR fears and anxieties you need to deal with your own issues so they do not become your child's problem!

 

[spel]

My DH took my 6-year-old daughter to Yankee Stadium last summer alone. He was told by the bathroom attendant that he could not take her into the men's room. He was shocked! But she did just fine in the ladies room by herself. In 1st grade the kids use the bathroom in the hallway, so now she is used to managing the process in a "public" bathroom on her own. So to me, 6 or 7 sounds reasonable for an average kid.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

There has never been a reported kidnapping, sexual assault, or murder of a child in a Disney restroom.

In fact, most of the problems Disney has had with predators have been in the wave pool at the water parks. And I think there was an assault on one of the cruise ships.

 

[ShuisFan584]

This is something that makes me nervous in the future. I feel like DS will reach a certain age where it would make women uncomfortable to have him in the bathroom, but at the same time I won't be ready to send him off to the men's bathroom on his own! He's only 3 months so we won't reach that point anytime soon. But I have no idea what my opinion will be in a few years. I just hope most places have family bathrooms!

 

[krcit]

I took my son to a Broadway show when he was about 7, I think. I stood outside while he went in the men's room. He would been embarrassed to come into the women's room. I would have no problem with sending an 8 year old to the men's room at Disney alone.


Oh, i just remembered being in an airport with a friend and she let her 2cnd grader go tot he men's room alone. That freaked me out

 

[samacita]

Kids should be capable of going to the correct bathroom by 5-6. At that age they should also be able to be trusted to wait for you alone while you go. If your child isn't capable of this you've probably been doing too much for them and it's time for you to let them grow up a bit. If they are capable but you won't let them because of YOUR fears and anxieties you need to deal with your own issues so they do not become your child's problem!

The issue is really not about the child's capabilities and trustworthiness, it's about what stranger adults might do to harm the vulnerable child when a parent is not around. My career is treating adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse, and I have heard some unimaginable stories. It can happen anywhere, any time. I'm not taking chances with my sweetest kiddos.

 

[kevschickee]

You also don't want to make them feel like there is a monster waiting around every corner. You have to give them some space to learn some responsibility.

 

[cheer25mom]

You also don't want to make them feel like there is a monster waiting around every corner. You have to give them some space to learn some responsibility.

This exacly. As parents our job is to balance our own, often irrational, fear of what may happen to our kids with thier need to learn to function on thier own. It isn't easy, but has to be done. The reality is that there is a possibility that something may happen to them in the restroom, but that possibility is miniscule. It is statistically more likely that they will be killed in a car accient, but we let them ride is cars. It is also more likely they will be killed or severly injured at school, playing sports, visitng a park, ect. But we don't keep them from doing those things bacause they are a normal part of growing up. The American fear of the boogie man in the bathroom has gotten out of control IMO.
I have no problem sending my school aged kid into the restroom alone because I have taught the proper level of responsibility and how to respond should something out of the way occur. It is something every parent has to deal with in thier own time, but that is just it. It's not about the child at all but the parent conquering their fear and allowing the child to do what they are already capable of. I don't think a lot of people want to realize or aknowledge that much of what we choose to do as parents is really about what we are comfortable allowing, not what the child can or cannot do. In most cases kids are perfectly capable long before parents are willing to allow them the responsibility. I know that to be the case in my own parenting.

 

[EmilyJ517]

I actually sent my 4.5 yo son into the men's bathroom at Epcot last year. It was f&w and the women's line was sooo long he never would have made it. There was only one exit to the bathroom and no outside door so I could still talk to him. He was fine. If I had to go, I wouldn't hesitate to bring him in the ladies room with me at age 5, and I'm not sure what age I would be comfortable having him wait outside for me. That sounds scarier then sending him into the men's room without me. Usually DH and I are both there but DH was halfway around WS so usually it wouldn't be an issue.

 

[kevschickee]

This exacly. As parents our job is to balance our own, often irrational, fear of what may happen to our kids with thier need to learn to function on thier own. It isn't easy, but has to be done. The reality is that there is a possibility that something may happen to them in the restroom, but that possibility is miniscule. It is statistically more likely that they will be killed in a car accient, but we let them ride is cars. It is also more likely they will be killed or severly injured at school, playing sports, visitng a park, ect. But we don't keep them from doing those things bacause they are a normal part of growing up. The American fear of the boogie man in the bathroom has gotten out of control IMO.
I have no problem sending my school aged kid into the restroom alone because I have taught the proper level of responsibility and how to respond should something out of the way occur. It is something every parent has to deal with in thier own time, but that is just it. It's not about the child at all but the parent conquering their fear and allowing the child to do what they are already capable of. I don't think a lot of people want to realize or aknowledge that much of what we choose to do as parents is really about what we are comfortable allowing, not what the child can or cannot do. In most cases kids are perfectly capable long before parents are willing to allow them the responsibility. I know that to be the case in my own parenting.

 

[cheer25mom]

The issue is really not about the child's capabilities and trustworthiness, it's about what stranger adults might do to harm the vulnerable child when a parent is not around. My career is treating adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse, and I have heard some unimaginable stories. It can happen anywhere, any time. I'm not taking chances with my sweetest kiddos.

I think that for me, if I don't take some chances and allow some indepenence then I am failing my kid. The world is full of risk and we simply cannot shield them from all of it all the time and expect them to become functioning adults. In reality,this is EXTREMELY low on the risk spectrum but in our minds as parents it has taken on epic proportion. The number of kids harmed by and adult becuase they went to the bathroom alone is orders of magnitude less than those harmed becuase they played sports, went to school, were scouts, or any number of other things, but we don't think twice about allowing those things. I have to wonder why that is? Why is the bathroom so taboo, but other higher risk locations ok? What is it about our society that attaches molestors to public restrooms? I have always found it interesting that THIS is the hot button topic, nad molestors are always brought up, but no one thinks twice about thier sports coach, sout leader, realtives, ect being alone with their child. THESE are statistically much more likely to be where the threat comes form than someone lurking in a restroom, but we focus all our energy on the unknown stranger, and not on those our kids know and trust.