Boys in the Girls Bathroom?

[sameyeyam]

My DS(7) refuses to go in the ladies room and has for the past couple of years. I really don't like having him out of my sight, so I let him go in the mens room and I stand outside the door and wait. If he hasn't come out within about 2 minutes, I open the door and holler his name and ask if he's done yet. We have also talked to him about if anyone in a bathroom touches him in private places to holler, run out and let us know.

However, if my son didn't answer or come out within a couple of minutes I would probably ask another male headed into the bathroom if they could see if there is a little boy in there. Otherwise, I'm headed in!

 

[TinkerbellMama]

I agree with the posters who say whens the cut off ? no one cares about a 8 and younger child but come on at 10 it is time to cut the strings. If they go on a field trip with school believe me no women is taking a 10 yr old in the bathroom with them in fact a lot of the times they are on their own at the park or museum.

Not ONE of the mothers I know (and I know a lot) would ever allow a 10 year old to wander around a park or museum unattended. I guess my friends and I are just the crazy, overprotective type?

 

[TinkerbellMama]

I know, and the funny thing is they are "companion bathrooms" not "handicapped only" bathrooms. And "handicap accessible" is not the same thing as "handicapped only". If handicapped people are having to wait, then WDW needs to change the signage. Until it says "handicapped only" I'm using it. (provided there is not a handicapped person waiting - in which case I would definately wait for them)

Not to be crass, but I pee fast, and so does my ds. If I needed to use one of these bathrooms, we would not monopolize it for 10 minutes combing our hair, changing clothes, etc. In and out. Sixty seconds. If no one is waiting when we arrive, and we hurry, I think it's fine. But I was told that if someone comes up in a wheelchair they may need every second to avoid an accident...so I guess that makes me insensitive if I still choose to use a companion restroom if needed? I am aware and respectful of the needs of the wheelchair-bound, but I think in some cases I will have to disagree about what is appropriate and what is not regarding the restroom usage. I agree that the signage is vague. If not for the DIS, I would NEVER have realized that the companion restrooms are intended only for the disabled (I'm not convinced that they are, to be honest). I assumed they were for families or anyone else needing a larger stall and/or accommodations for both genders with children over a certain age...disabled or not.

 

[mytwotinks]

No one else has had this experience? Have you read some of the posts?! You make excuses for the kid, exuses for the mom's rude comment, and top it off with your disconcern for my wife feeling uncomfortable. Sheesh. No one is saying that you should send your 6 year old into the restroom alone, but when he has to start shaving, it's time to cut the cord.

It's the last I'll say on this topic (It's more fun to get along) but 9 or 10 years old is pushing it.

To partially acquiesce, I'll say your kids are lucky to have a loving and attentive parent!

I didn't mean for my post to come off as if I didn't think it was a HUGE deal that a mother let her kid do that. Believe me I have zero patience for parents that don't make their children respect others. I guess my thought is that I have also been in a restaurant where parents were actually letting their children spit into the fire in the center of the tables and listen to their spit sizzle. I can't use this as an argument that children should not be allowed in restaraunts because of one isolated insodent. Beleive me that if I were your wife and had that experience I would have told that mom where to put her snotty attitude.

 

[TinkerbellMama]

I have an advanced degree in counseling psychology/human services with an emphasis on marriage and family therapy, and worked with adolescents exclusively after I discovered it was more drama than any marriage counseling could ever be.

I AM a parent now.

I disagree with you completely. The troubled kids you see are ones whose parents are neglecting some aspect of their development, for sure...but that has absolutely NOTHING to do with a parent protecting his or her child from potential physical and psychological harm. There are PLENTY of ways to encourage independence in a child without insisting he or she go into a restroom with unknown men or women.
You are simply way off base on this. If YOU personally feel that children should go into restrooms alone because the risk of psychological harm is greater than the threat of physical harm, then by all means when you have children you can send them in solo. But please don't suggest that those who don't are somehow lacking as parents. That's just wrong and totally irresponsible from a professional viewpoint. It's the parents who DON'T care who create the disturbed kids with low self-esteem and adjustment problems.

 

[ducklite]

By the way, your profile says that your occupation is "animal rescue"
so which time were you lying?

I've seen some pretty "animal like" behaviour in some kids... maybe that's the confusion?



Anne

 

[georgia4now]

I didn't mean for my post to come off as if I didn't think it was a HUGE deal that a mother let her kid do that. Believe me I have zero patience for parents that don't make their children respect others. I guess my thought is that I have also been in a restaurant where parents were actually letting their children spit into the fire in the center of the tables and listen to their spit sizzle. I can't use this as an argument that children should not be allowed in restaraunts because of one isolated insodent. Beleive me that if I were your wife and had that experience I would have told that mom where to put her snotty attitude.

Fair enough!

 

[TreslovesWDW]

Take him with you. I wait outside the door for my 13 year old and aways go in with my girls who are 8 & 6 even when they say no mom we can go ourselves I just say no way wait for me. My 4 year old he does not like to go in the girls and he has complained since he was 3 about it. I always say it is the bathroom for moms and kids. I don't have a problem with kids in the bathroom there are doors.

 

[JKMJ441724]

Honey...take him with you!!!

 

[welovedis]

Not to be crass, but I pee fast, and so does my ds. If I needed to use one of these bathrooms, we would not monopolize it for 10 minutes combing our hair, changing clothes, etc. In and out. Sixty seconds. If no one is waiting when we arrive, and we hurry, I think it's fine. But I was told that if someone comes up in a wheelchair they may need every second to avoid an accident...so I guess that makes me insensitive if I still choose to use a companion restroom if needed? I am aware and respectful of the needs of the wheelchair-bound, but I think in some cases I will have to disagree about what is appropriate and what is not regarding the restroom usage. I agree that the signage is vague. If not for the DIS, I would NEVER have realized that the companion restrooms are intended only for the disabled (I'm not convinced that they are, to be honest). I assumed they were for families or anyone else needing a larger stall and/or accommodations for both genders with children over a certain age...disabled or not.

It doesn't make you insensitive to use something that you absolutely need. But to use those restrooms simply as a convenience is insensitive IMO since you obviously have heard why they are the only option for some people and perhaps that is not the case with your family.

My take on it is this, I'm not in a position to say that I can only use those restrooms because I'm in a wheelchair or have some other mobility or physical issue. I had used them in the past before I knew what their intended purpose was and would completely avoid using them now unless it was absolutely necessary.

When you've spent 30-40 mins inside a cramped & crowded restrooms wrestling wet clothing off someone who is in a wheelchair and wet themselves because they couldn't get into the restroom, it will change your perspective dramatically. I've BTDT in WDW & elsewhere & it is not fun, but it does happens.

For the extra 2 minutes it takes to use a regular restroom, it is worth it to possibly save dignity on the part of a wheelchair user.

 

[mrsltg]

I've been reading (and responding) to this thread but one thing has escaped me- What on earth are you doing in a rest room that you care who is standing outside of a stall door? I don't care if you bring your 15year old in with you. Do what's best for your family. Of course peeking in the doors and looking up stalls is an issue that parents need to address with their child but seriously- I have never seen anyone walking around nude or doing anything other than washing their hands or maybe combing their hair. Am I missing something?

A young girl having her first period (or one of her firsts) who may have had an "accident" who may not understand about feminine products who may not care to have a 10 year old boy standing by watching her ask her mom for a tampon or pad??? I don't know, but I'm not naive enough to believe that it's only about me and my kids. I have seen women in WDW restrooms with only their bra and shorts on. Apparently something had been spilled on their shirt. They were doing their best to wash said shirt out and dry it under the hand-dryer. (this I don't understand - not like there isn't a plethora of available t-shirts at WDW!!!)

I understand the need to keep your boys with you. I also understand the need for privacy. For either side of this issue to say "too bad" is ridiculous! It is appropriate for a parent to expect to keep their child safe. It is also appropriate for a female to expect a "Womens" bathroom to be for females. To say, "I don't care if your daughter is uncomfortable" is obnoxious. You better care. That girl counts just as much as your boy. And yes, there is a difference between a 6 year old boy and a 10 year old boy. A 10 year old can stand inside the restroom but will be fine by the entry way as opposed to near the stalls. A six year old can go in the stall with mom and turn his back. So can an older child if it's a problem. My husband has to do this with our girls. This is one of the interesting parts of life. Having respect for everyone goes a long way.

 

[ZipaDeeDooDah]

But can you protect your child from yourself? Now the internet is responsible for child endangerment. I'll see you in five years when you bring little Johnny in for therapy because he's suffering from agoraphobia so bad he can't go to school. Nice work MOM.

I would hope that most child therapists would convey these concerns in a more empathetic, rather than judgemental approach.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

A young girl having her first period (or one of her firsts) who may have had an "accident" who may not understand about feminine products who may not care to have a 10 year old boy standing by watching her ask her mom for a tampon or pad??? I don't know, but I'm not naive enough to believe that it's only about me and my kids. I have seen women in WDW restrooms with only their bra and shorts on. Apparently something had been spilled on their shirt. They were doing their best to wash said shirt out and dry it under the hand-dryer. (this I don't understand - not like there isn't a plethora of available t-shirts at WDW!!!)

I understand the need to keep your boys with you. I also understand the need for privacy. For either side of this issue to say "too bad" is ridiculous! It is appropriate for a parent to expect to keep their child safe. It is also appropriate for a female to expect a "Womens" bathroom to be for females. To say, "I don't care if your daughter is uncomfortable" is obnoxious. You better care. That girl counts just as much as your boy. And yes, there is a difference between a 6 year old boy and a 10 year old boy. A 10 year old can stand inside the restroom but will be fine by the entry way as opposed to near the stalls. A six year old can go in the stall with mom and turn his back. So can an older child if it's a problem. My husband has to do this with our girls. This is one of the interesting parts of life. Having respect for everyone goes a long way.

You make an interesting point. I never even thought of that, which is why I asked. I am not saying boys are more important than girls at all. I have both and they are both equally important to me. I personally have never thought of it as a big deal even before I had kids. For the record- my kids are young so they stay in the stall with me. As far as a woman with no top on, well I am not a prude or easily embarrassed but I would find that strange even if I was in the bathroom alone. I don't want to see anyone on their undergarments. JMHO.

 

[hollyb]

I think 9 is the upper age for taking him in with you. after 9 he can wait just outside the door. The statistics for stranger abductions is extremely low. You aren't in an isolated open to any type of person area-if you find a time you are alone in Disney let me know so I can go.I think adolescent girls would be very uncomfortable with boys older than 9 in THEIR bathroom. If you take a 9 yr old boy in with you please have him stand in the exit hallway.

You make a 9 year old sound like some kind of perv. DS is almost 9 and I would rather have him in with me instead of some real perv steal him. I will say it again the bathrooms have doors on them. He can't see in!!!! Good God!!!

 

[summerrluvv]

You make an interesting point. I never even thought of that, which is why I asked. I am not saying boys are more important than girls at all. I have both and they are both equally important to me. I personally have never thought of it as a big deal even before I had kids. For the record- my kids are young so they stay in the stall with me. As far as a woman with no top on, well I am not a prude or easily embarrassed but I would find that strange even if I was in the bathroom alone. I don't want to see anyone on their undergarments. JMHO.

I've seen people at the public beach where children of both sexes run freely that are wearing less than what normal undergarments cover

 

[hollyb]

A young girl having her first period (or one of her firsts) who may have had an "accident" who may not understand about feminine products who may not care to have a 10 year old boy standing by watching her ask her mom for a tampon or pad??? I don't know, but I'm not naive enough to believe that it's only about me and my kids. I have seen women in WDW restrooms with only their bra and shorts on. Apparently something had been spilled on their shirt. They were doing their best to wash said shirt out and dry it under the hand-dryer. (this I don't understand - not like there isn't a plethora of available t-shirts at WDW!!!)

I understand the need to keep your boys with you. I also understand the need for privacy. For either side of this issue to say "too bad" is ridiculous! It is appropriate for a parent to expect to keep their child safe. It is also appropriate for a female to expect a "Womens" bathroom to be for females. To say, "I don't care if your daughter is uncomfortable" is obnoxious. You better care. That girl counts just as much as your boy. And yes, there is a difference between a 6 year old boy and a 10 year old boy. A 10 year old can stand inside the restroom but will be fine by the entry way as opposed to near the stalls. A six year old can go in the stall with mom and turn his back. So can an older child if it's a problem. My husband has to do this with our girls. This is one of the interesting parts of life. Having respect for everyone goes a long way.

I would think she would feel the same with a bunch of strange women as well. I doubt she will be shouting at the top of her lungs for a tampon or a pad. I also dont think she would have the door wide open while her mom showed her how to use it.

Yes I have a DD and I hope before she gets her period she will know what it is and won't freak out when it happens.

 

[Hannathy]

Thank You Erin ITA and have been trying to say the same thing.

In a womens room I and my daughters have the right to expect WOMEN and SMALL children not adolescent and older boys.
I shouldn't have to tie up a stall changing my little girls wet shorts from playing in the fountain because your older boy is standing there, I should be able to do it in the womens room. Or do minor adjustments to my own clothes etc.

 

[mrsltg]

I would think she would feel the same with a bunch of strange women as well. I doubt she will be shouting at the top of her lungs for a tampon or a pad. I also dont think she would have the door wide open while her mom showed her how to use it.

Yes I have a DD and I hope before she gets her period she will know what it is and won't freak out when it happens.

Sure, but you don't know how any one particular girl feels and she deserves respect and privacy. The point is, don't assume that there is no reason why anyone should care or that they are wrong if they do. And yes, there is a modicum of comfort in being around females when you are having a "female problem" as opposed to a boy. I'm not saying it's a reason for a mom not to bring her son in, just, have some respect for the people who belong there. Don't go at it with a confrontational "I don't care if you like it or not" attitude.

 

[my4kids]

You make an interesting point. I never even thought of that, which is why I asked. I am not saying boys are more important than girls at all. I have both and they are both equally important to me. I personally have never thought of it as a big deal even before I had kids. For the record- my kids are young so they stay in the stall with me. As far as a woman with no top on, well I am not a prude or easily embarrassed but I would find that strange even if I was in the bathroom alone. I don't want to see anyone on their undergarments. JMHO.

I think that is strange too. I've seen this argument come up before, and I much rather take my six yr old daughter into a womens bathroom that had a 10 yr old boy waiting near the door for his mom or slipping into a stall that his Mom has waited in line for him to use rather than have her have the embarrassment of seeing some strange woman with her top off. I've seen this once at an amusement park where the women went on a drenching water ride then was drying her clothes under the hand dryer in her underwear. It was weird. I too am not prudish, and I realize that some bathingsuits are more revealing, but to my daughter it is still underwear and embarrassing.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Thank You Erin ITA and have been trying to say the same thing.

In a womens room I and my daughters have the right to expect WOMEN and SMALL children not adolescent and older boys.
I shouldn't have to tie up a stall changing my little girls wet shorts from playing in the fountain because your older boy is standing there, I should be able to do it in the womens room. Or do minor adjustments to my own clothes etc.

I understand what you are saying but I wouldn't change my daughter's shorts in front of a bunch of strange women either. We use a stall. That's what works for us. Not meant to offend you or anyone. Also for the person who mentioned that bathing suits are more revealing than underwear, that may be true, but would you feel comfortable if someone was lounging at the pool in their bloomers? It would just seem strange to me. JMHO.