Boys in the Girls Bathroom?

[LilyWDW]

After reading this whole thread, I felt a need to comment. Everyone who has posted here has well thought out discussions and I can see where each and everyone is coming from. My opinion is as such:

It depends on the kid... A well behaved 9 year old in the women's bathroom really is not an issue. If you believe your son would be able to behave himself, then do what you need to do. If however, you have any thought that he would not be able to behave himself and that he would be the one peeking through the cracks in the doors or something, then do all of those in the restroom a favor and figure out something else. While the childs safety is extreemly important, please remember about those females who are also in that bathroom (which by posting here, you are already doing). If you think the kid would do anything to make the women uncomfortable, then it may not be the best idea to allow him in there.

As for handicapped/companion stalls... while you will not be arrested for using them if you are not handicapped, please realize that some people can ONLY use these stalls. If there is someone handicapped in line at the bathroom and that stall opens up, please allow them to use it. While it may only take 1 min for another normal stall to open, it may take 5x that for that handicapped stall to open. Due to room issues, there is only room for so many handicapped stalls per bathroom because you are required to have certien amount of space and certien wall construction for the safety bars. Regular stalls can be made MUCH smaller if needed, but you can't shrink that handicapped stall. (I am an interior design student who has had to design ADA compliant commercial bathrooms, so I know this problem)

 

[summerrluvv]

The only problem I have with it are the boys of any age--and that includes toddlers--who peek under the stalls or put their eyes up against the cracks in the doors. I've run into this at WDW several times, and it's really unnerving and EXTRAORDINARILY RUDE of parents to allow it to happen, regardless of the circumstances. I had one kid who was about three actually crawl UNDER THE STALL into my stall. I mean first--that's just freaking gross, but second, his parents obviously weren't watching.

Anne

Little girls do the same exact thing.

 

[cstraub]

What about the "boys" who have been in the news lately for sexually assaulting young girls How am I supposed to protect my daughters who not being overprotective I allow to go into the restroom alone if all these older boys are going to be in there. I really think after the age of 8 they do not belong in the womens room and if I thought Disney was that dangerous there is no way I or my family would be there for vacation. Let's be real how many hundreds of thousands of people visit Disney every year and how many assaults in the bathrooms have you ever read about? You have a much better chance of being struck by lightning sitting on a bench.

First off. I'd be suprised if these boys that are doing this are 9 or under. Second, the mothers are with the boys in the restroom and they obviously care enough to bring them in there in the first place because they are concerned for their saftey. That sounds like a good parent to me which most likely would result in producing a decent young boy.

Young girls should not be sent into the girls bathroom alone either! There are women who commit crimes against children too. Parents should be with there children at all times in any public place period!
Why would you send your child into a place where they are alone with any people that you don't know?

 

[cstraub]

Point taken, but I still disagree. Having had this experience though, I can honestly say that 9 is too old to be in the bathroom. The exit hallway within ear-shot of mom is very understandable.

I also understand that most of the folks in the DIS community are probably the last people who would let their kids run amuck in the bathroom.

Y'all do what you gotta do to protect the kids.

Come back and post here after you have children of your own. I think you'll change your toon about just how "old" a nine year old is when he is yours. Children at that age are still very young and vunerable.

 

[samano]

As a single mother of a 5 yr son and 10 yr old daughter, I am running into this issue more and more lately. I have always just done what I think is safest for my kids, including taking my son in the women's restroom.

Just last week, I took my kids to the YMCA for their swim lessons. We were coming straight from work/camp so they had to change in the locker room. All 3 of us headed into the girls locker room (sign on the door - Boys 5 and under permitted with their mother). My son is changing into his swimsuit when a staff member comes in and tells me someone "reported" to the front desk that there was a boy in the girls bathroom who was too old to be there. After she confirmed with my son that he is in fact 5, she went on her way. I was fuming about this for the rest of the night though. Mostly because I know that I will be dealing with this very issue for some time to come. The YMCA's magic age is apparently 6, but mine isn't.

I do not know at what age I will feel like my son is ready to go to the mens room by himself or wait by himself for me outside the ladies room. And while I am thrilled to see family bathrooms popping up more and more, they are typically few and far between if at all. In the meantime, I will be taking my son in the womens bathroom. I teach him to be respectful when he is in there, as others may be uncomfortable. I also teach my daughter to be tolerant of the circumstances of others. If we are in the women's bathroom, and a boy her age comes in with his mother, he is probably about as happy about it as she is. I assume that the mother felt like that was the safest choice for her son, and it trumps all else, in my book.

 

[Hanover]

I have not read all these posts, but wanted to post what happened to us a year and a half ago...

We were at a very large mall in Ann Arundel, Maryland when our then 7 year old (he just turned 9) needed to use the restroom. My husband sent him in the men's restroom alone while I was in a store with our other ds and stayed outside to wait on me (I forgot my cell phone so he couldn't call me). As I was walking out of the store, I could see ds7 go into the nearby restroom. I told DH to go in after him because we had never ever let him go in a public restroom alone and I've always been paranoid about molesters, etc. Not more than 3 minutes later, DS comes out with DH and DH looks really concerned and tells me to take the kids to a table and he'll meet up with me. I figured he must have to really go himself...

I wait in the food court near the restroom and soon see several security members show up and then the police. I'm getting really worried until I see that my DH is fine. Another man was being arrested.... he had been in a urinal, two away from our son, pleasuring himself. My husband, who is a police officer, saw this guy going to town and looking at nearby kids peeing. My dh later told me (to this day ds has no idea what happened) that after he went in the restroom again, he showed the culprit his police badge, called the police and waited for them to show up and arrest the guy. This individual admitted he had a "problem" and was in counseling. He was married, had children of his own and had been banned from 4 , yes 4, other malls and public places for doing the same deed.

Ever since this incident, ds5 and ds9 either go with my husband into stalls, go to a family bathroom or come with me (if dh isn't with us). I don't know if I will ever be able to handle ds9 going in a public restroom without one of us again. I have never had one person question why I've brought my sons into the women's restroom. If anyone ever does ask, I have no problem telling them why. My sons will not be a predator's victim. I don't even let my mind think about what could have been had my DH not gone in after DS.

I am aware that some women may be uncomfortable seeing a 9 year old boy in the women's bathroom, so when I do take my sons into the women's restroom, I make sure that we are in and out of the restroom as quick as possible. I also try and get the first stall near the entrance. When ds9 is finished and has washed his hands, I have him wait near the entrance door inside until I am done. I have always told both sons to scream if anyone tries to take them or do anything to them. They know to behave and not peek anywhere.


Besides our incident, last month, a 9 - year- old boy was molested in a Ruby Tuesday's bathroom in a neighboring town that we have eaten at many times. The boy's father thought his son was taking awhile and when he went to check on him, he caught the molester hurting his son. Reading about this horrible act gives me more justification to keep bringing my sons in with me.

 

[mytwotinks]

I have not read all these posts, but wanted to post what happened to us a year and a half ago...

We were at a very large mall in Ann Arundel, Maryland when our then 7 year old (he just turned 9) needed to use the restroom. My husband sent him in the men's restroom alone while I was in a store with our other ds and stayed outside to wait on me (I forgot my cell phone so he couldn't call me). As I was walking out of the store, I could see ds7 go into the nearby restroom. I told DH to go in after him because we had never ever let him go in a public restroom alone and I've always been paranoid about molesters, etc. Not more than 3 minutes later, DS comes out with DH and DH looks really concerned and tells me to take the kids to a table and he'll meet up with me. I figured he must have to really go himself...

I wait in the food court near the restroom and soon see several security members show up and then the police. I'm getting really worried until I see that my DH is fine. Another man was being arrested.... he had been in a urinal, two away from our son, pleasuring himself. My husband, who is a police officer, saw this guy going to town and looking at nearby kids peeing. My dh later told me (to this day ds has no idea what happened) that after he went in the restroom again, he showed the culprit his police badge, called the police and waited for them to show up and arrest the guy. This individual admitted he had a "problem" and was in counseling. He was married, had children of his own and had been banned from 4 , yes 4, other malls and public places for doing the same deed.

Ever since this incident, ds5 and ds9 either go with my husband into stalls, go to a family bathroom or come with me (if dh isn't with us). I don't know if I will ever be able to handle ds9 going in a public restroom without one of us again. I have never had one person question why I've brought my sons into the women's restroom. If anyone ever does ask, I have no problem telling them why. My sons will not be a predator's victim. I don't even let my mind think about what could have been had my DH not gone in after DS.

I am aware that some women may be uncomfortable seeing a 9 year old boy in the women's bathroom, so when I do take my sons into the women's restroom, I make sure that we are in and out of the restroom as quick as possible. I also try and get the first stall near the entrance. When ds9 is finished and has washed his hands, I have him wait near the entrance door inside until I am done. I have always told both sons to scream if anyone tries to take them or do anything to them. They know to behave and not peek anywhere.


Besides our incident, last month, a 9 - year- old boy was molested in a Ruby Tuesday's bathroom in a neighboring town that we have eaten at many times. The boy's father thought his son was taking awhile and when he went to check on him, he caught the molester hurting his son. Reading about this horrible act gives me more justification to keep bringing my sons in with me.

Exactly why it is o.k. for boys to come in the ladie's room. I doubt that it is any comfort to the father of the boy in Ruby Tuesday how statistically unlikely it was for him to be molested in that bathroom.

 

[va32h]

It amazes me that WDW, of all places, doesn't have family bathrooms. We went to LegoLand, in Southern California, and they have 2 family restrooms between each men's & women's room.

My son is 6 and my girls are 2 and 10. When one of us has to go, we all have to go. That's just our rule when we are out in public.

My 10 year old might feel "weird" about an older boy being in the girls' room. But we are only in there for a few minutes. She can get over feeling weird for a few minutes.

 

[mikesdisneymom]

Thank You,

Hearing how all of you would feel about it, and the stories of the horrible situations and how children are hurt, has made up my mind, my son is definetly coming in with me, guess I am an overproctive mother and proud of it, don't want anything to happen to my son.

 

[KJMAX1]

I still say take him in...If you are worried about it do what my sister did who is a single mom, she bought a nightime blindfold, you know the ones you sleep with on? When my nephew was approaching 10 she got it, strapped it on, and they went in. My Dh has witnessed men getting it on in the bathroom as well, and REFUSES to take my girls in there. He would rather go to a Taco Bell or something have them run in, while his foot is in the door talking to them all the time because its usually only two stalls. When I used to have my nephew or friends sons with me, I always kept my foot in the door repeating over and over what they were doing, were they hurrying up....etc. If they started to take too long I would announce I was coming in..I warned this in the beginning anyway so all the men could hear. Most creeps in the bathrooms arent touching the kids its their own self they are touching and showing inappropriate behavior....I second the family bathrooms. It makes NOOOO sense why Disney has not done this yet. Even our grocery store has a family bathroom.

 

[sara74]

As a single mother of a 5 yr son and 10 yr old daughter, I am running into this issue more and more lately. I have always just done what I think is safest for my kids, including taking my son in the women's restroom.

Just last week, I took my kids to the YMCA for their swim lessons. We were coming straight from work/camp so they had to change in the locker room. All 3 of us headed into the girls locker room (sign on the door - Boys 5 and under permitted with their mother). My son is changing into his swimsuit when a staff member comes in and tells me someone "reported" to the front desk that there was a boy in the girls bathroom who was too old to be there. After she confirmed with my son that he is in fact 5, she went on her way. I was fuming about this for the rest of the night though. Mostly because I know that I will be dealing with this very issue for some time to come. The YMCA's magic age is apparently 6, but mine isn't.

I do not know at what age I will feel like my son is ready to go to the mens room by himself or wait by himself for me outside the ladies room. And while I am thrilled to see family bathrooms popping up more and more, they are typically few and far between if at all. In the meantime, I will be taking my son in the womens bathroom. I teach him to be respectful when he is in there, as others may be uncomfortable. I also teach my daughter to be tolerant of the circumstances of others. If we are in the women's bathroom, and a boy her age comes in with his mother, he is probably about as happy about it as she is. I assume that the mother felt like that was the safest choice for her son, and it trumps all else, in my book.

I read the whole thread with a sense of dread as I have a 2 yo DS and am expecting another! Also, with a 4 yo DD, my DH is soon to have a few issues too!

Luckily for us, the YMCA near our house has a women/childrens, mens/children, adult male, adult female and then a family locker room! The place is great! The family locker room has a set of lockers and benches and then has 6 changing rooms with locking doors. Each room has a toilet, shower, sink and small bench. It is always crowded, but the only way DH can take our kids swimming with him. Imagine him taking our 4 yo DD into a men's locker room where they are all hanging around naked!

As for the WDW restrooms, or the mall or what have you. TAKE YOUR KID WITH YOU! Molestation is much more common than gets reported. Sex offenders are in your community, whether known or unknown. I agree that we need more family restrooms. Again we are lucky with our YMCA and also with our mall that we have them, but until more places get them, you will not hear a complaint from me! (and until this thread I hadn't really thought about the restroom issue all that much, more in a changing room thing!)

 

[cstraub]

Anyone remember the Mcdonald's incident a few years back? A young boy went into the bathroom while his mother or grandmother waited right outside the door. A man went in after the boy and killed him and then came out a few minutes later and looked the mother/grandmother right in the eyes. It was a random act of violence. I coud not find the link anywhere via google but I know this is a true story.

Ever since I heard this story I decided that my son is going in the bathroom with me until I feel that he has the physical ability to at least stand a fighting chance against someone like that.

I have never been given a dirty look ever and I always take my son in with me to the bathroom wherever we go-period!

 

[WantToGoNow]

Friendly advice: As the son of a Baptist preacher, and having a seminary degree myself. I can honestly say that the LAST place on earth I'd let my kids go alone is church. Every creep in the universe seeks positions in churches because many of them dont run background checks. Show up, put a couple of $$ in the plate, and BAM! you're a Decon.

I am not being sarcastic or mean. I had to take a full semester of profiling before earning my degree in Theology. The examples they used were unbelieveable.

Be careful!

I go to a rather small Independent Baptist church. I have been a member there for 22 years (since my oldest dd was born). I know practically every one in the church and have for years. The times when ds would be going alone (with me outside the door) would be before and after the services -- when there are always lots of people coming and going. On Sunday he was in there a little longer than I thought it should have taken and a man that I've known for years came out -- I asked him if he saw ds -- he said he was wiping his hands - and that moment ds came out.

 

[georgia4now]

I go to a rather small Independent Baptist church. I have been a member there for 22 years (since my oldest dd was born). I know practically every one in the church and have for years. The times when ds would be going alone (with me outside the door) would be before and after the services -- when there are always lots of people coming and going. On Sunday he was in there a little longer than I thought it should have taken and a man that I've known for years came out -- I asked him if he saw ds -- he said he was wiping his hands - and that moment ds came out.

Good for you. I go to a city "mega" church, and there are some pretty strange characters there on Sunday morning. Like they say, sometimes the Gospel light attracts some mighty strange bugs! I'm glad you have a good church home.

Take care!

 

[my4kids]

Well, I don't have any kids, so I'll probably get blasted for saying this, but I am really against it.

3 years ago my wife was in the restrooms at Epcot, and she said a boy that looked like he was 10 or 11 was rolling around on the ground and actually put his head up through the stall she was in! he then started crawling like a lizard in and out of the stalls (most of which were empty at the time).

She said something to the mother who told her to "get over it".

That being said, I see everyone's point. It's a crazy, scary world. It's just a little freaky to me, and as an over-protective husband, I think 6 yrs of age should be the cut-off.

Ok...take your shots!

I'm glad yur an overprotective husband, but I'm just a protective parent.

First, I don't like examples like this, because they sound so extreme, no one else reading this has ever had that experience.

Second, I have a 6 1/2 year old that your wife might mistake as a 10 year old.

Third, if the kid was truly 10 or 11 and "rolling on the floor" I would have to think he had some mental disability or autism or something. I don't think a healthy child of that age would do that. And in that case, I can imagine that the mother was exasperated and tired of looks from strangers and would say "get over it".

Fourth, even if it was a healthy 10 year old rolling on the floor and it was just an isolated case of bad parenting, I'm still not going to risk my sons safety over your wife feeling "uncomfortable"

 

[TinkerbellMama]

Why not use the companion bathrooms? Isn't this what they are for? I mean, I know they are for persons with disabilities who need assistance, but don't you think that most people with diabilities wouldn't mind their use for this purpose?

You would be surprised. I got a very negative response once when I mentioned doing this.

 

[my4kids]

You would be surprised. I got a very negative response once when I mentioned doing this.

I know, and the funny thing is they are "companion bathrooms" not "handicapped only" bathrooms. And "handicap accessible" is not the same thing as "handicapped only". If handicapped people are having to wait, then WDW needs to change the signage. Until it says "handicapped only" I'm using it. (provided there is not a handicapped person waiting - in which case I would definately wait for them)

 

[my4kids]

What about the "boys" who have been in the news lately for sexually assaulting young girls How am I supposed to protect my daughters who not being overprotective I allow to go into the restroom alone if all these older boys are going to be in there. I really think after the age of 8 they do not belong in the womens room and if I thought Disney was that dangerous there is no way I or my family would be there for vacation. Let's be real how many hundreds of thousands of people visit Disney every year and how many assaults in the bathrooms have you ever read about? You have a much better chance of being struck by lightning sitting on a bench.

Ok -first of all, no one is talking about letting their 9 and 10 year old boys go in the womens room without their mother. Second, you asked how you are supposed to protect your girls, so let me anwer that question...GO IN WITH THEM. There are freaky women in the world too. If you think WDW is the "Safest place or Earth" I think you need to realize that anyplace where kids congregate is going to attract the sickos. You have an option, you can go in with your daughter, parents with boys sometimes don't have an option.

 

[summerrluvv]

Anyone remember the Mcdonald's incident a few years back? A young boy went into the bathroom while his mother or grandmother waited right outside the door. A man went in after the boy and killed him and then came out a few minutes later and looked the mother/grandmother right in the eyes. It was a random act of violence. I coud not find the link anywhere via google but I know this is a true story.

That happened in Vegas too. The aunt was waiting outside the bathroom and the young niece was beaten to death in the bathroom. the kid walked out of the bathroom and looked right at her. I remember seeing the survellience video on the news. Sick people in this world, and I honestly don't care what other people think or how badly I offend them or their kids, I will continue to take my 7 year old boy into the bathroom with me.

 

[georgia4now]

I'm glad yur an overprotective husband, but I'm just a protective parent.

First, I don't like examples like this, because they sound so extreme, no one else reading this has ever had that experience.

Second, I have a 6 1/2 year old that your wife might mistake as a 10 year old.

Third, if the kid was truly 10 or 11 and "rolling on the floor" I would have to think he had some mental disability or autism or something. I don't think a healthy child of that age would do that. And in that case, I can imagine that the mother was exasperated and tired of looks from strangers and would say "get over it".

Fourth, even if it was a healthy 10 year old rolling on the floor and it was just an isolated case of bad parenting, I'm still not going to risk my sons safety over your wife feeling "uncomfortable"

No one else has had this experience? Have you read some of the posts?! You make excuses for the kid, exuses for the mom's rude comment, and top it off with your disconcern for my wife feeling uncomfortable. Sheesh. No one is saying that you should send your 6 year old into the restroom alone, but when he has to start shaving, it's time to cut the cord.

It's the last I'll say on this topic (It's more fun to get along) but 9 or 10 years old is pushing it.

To partially acquiesce, I'll say your kids are lucky to have a loving and attentive parent!