Boys in the Girls Bathroom?

[penguin087]

I personaly don't care if a 30 year old man wants to use the ladies room with his mother as long as he is neat about it but my son started to refuse at about age 8. I forced him for about another year but 9.5 was about all I could get out of him. He is 12 now and I still worry when he goes into the mens room. I still go through the whole spiel "don't talk to anyone, don't look at anyone, don't use the urinal if they have stalls, if anybody even looks at you twice start screaming at the top of your lungs and I'm in there. He just rolls his eyes at me now.

 

[ShannonN]

There's nothing in this world more precious to me than my DS!! When it comes to his safety I will do whatever it takes to make sure he stays safe! Being afraid that I would offend someone would be my least concern.

 

[mytwotinks]

I think 9 is the upper age for taking him in with you. after 9 he can wait just outside the door. The statistics for stranger abductions is extremely low. You aren't in an isolated open to any type of person area-if you find a time you are alone in Disney let me know so I can go.I think adolescent girls would be very uncomfortable with boys older than 9 in THEIR bathroom. If you take a 9 yr old boy in with you please have him stand in the exit hallway.

Sorry to disagree, but there are bad guys out there and there is no way to tell them from the good guys. It is not worth the risk. I hardly ever get in a wreck, but I make my daughters wear there seatbelts EVERY time we drive in a car. I parent to prevent disaster!

 

[georgia4now]

Well, I don't have any kids, so I'll probably get blasted for saying this, but I am really against it.

3 years ago my wife was in the restrooms at Epcot, and she said a boy that looked like he was 10 or 11 was rolling around on the ground and actually put his head up through the stall she was in! he then started crawling like a lizard in and out of the stalls (most of which were empty at the time).

She said something to the mother who told her to "get over it".

That being said, I see everyone's point. It's a crazy, scary world. It's just a little freaky to me, and as an over-protective husband, I think 6 yrs of age should be the cut-off.

Ok...take your shots!

 

[georgia4now]

My ds5 is starting to resist going into the women’s restroom with me now. I have started letting him go alone at church but no where else. If his dad isn’t around to take him, then he knows he’s going with me or not going at all. On the other hand, my dd2 goes into the men’s room with dh as often as ds comes with me. She sees dh and ds using the restroom at home and thinks nothing of the men/boys at the urinal – now I’m sure in a few more years this will have to stop only because her presence in the men’s room would probably make some men uncomfortable.

Friendly advice: As the son of a Baptist preacher, and having a seminary degree myself. I can honestly say that the LAST place on earth I'd let my kids go alone is church. Every creep in the universe seeks positions in churches because many of them dont run background checks. Show up, put a couple of $$ in the plate, and BAM! you're a Decon.

I am not being sarcastic or mean. I had to take a full semester of profiling before earning my degree in Theology. The examples they used were unbelieveable.

Be careful!

 

[mytwotinks]

Well, I don't have any kids, so I'll probably get blasted for saying this, but I am really against it.

3 years ago my wife was in the restrooms at Epcot, and she said a boy that looked like he was 10 or 11 was rolling around on the ground and actually put his head up through the stall she was in! he then started crawling like a lizard in and out of the stalls (most of which were empty at the time).

She said something to the mother who told her to "get over it".

That being said, I see everyone's point. It's a crazy, scary world. It's just a little freaky to me, and as an over-protective husband, I think 6 yrs of age should be the cut-off.

Ok...take your shots!

Obviously no one is saying "take him in and let him peep at the girls and crawl on the floor." You can't use one extreme example as an excuse to put other boys in danger.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Well, I don't have any kids, so I'll probably get blasted for saying this, but I am really against it.

3 years ago my wife was in the restrooms at Epcot, and she said a boy that looked like he was 10 or 11 was rolling around on the ground and actually put his head up through the stall she was in! he then started crawling like a lizard in and out of the stalls (most of which were empty at the time).

She said something to the mother who told her to "get over it".

That being said, I see everyone's point. It's a crazy, scary world. It's just a little freaky to me, and as an over-protective husband, I think 6 yrs of age should be the cut-off.

Ok...take your shots!

Well if that was your experience I can understand why you feel the way you do. That is just poor parenting. I personally have never seen anyone do that while being supervised by their parents. Just my experience. Also- I would never let a 6 year old go into a public bathroom alone. I do want to point out though- of course we don't encourage anyone to look under stalls, but what harm is it if the kid stands outside the stall? It's the same as if he was standing outside of a door. JMHO.

 

[ducklite]

The only problem I have with it are the boys of any age--and that includes toddlers--who peek under the stalls or put their eyes up against the cracks in the doors. I've run into this at WDW several times, and it's really unnerving and EXTRAORDINARILY RUDE of parents to allow it to happen, regardless of the circumstances. I had one kid who was about three actually crawl UNDER THE STALL into my stall. I mean first--that's just freaking gross, but second, his parents obviously weren't watching. I should have finished my business, snatched him up, and handed him to the first security guard I found--now THAT would have taught his mother a lesson.

If your kid can't act like a human and keep their eyes to themselves, then you need to use the family restrooms, period.

I'd much rather see a nine year old boy hiding in the corner out of embarrassment than a four year old who can't keep his eyes, hands, and bodies out of neighboring stalls.

Anne

 

[TinkInPink]

What about the "boys" who have been in the news lately for sexually assaulting young girls How am I supposed to protect my daughters who not being overprotective I allow to go into the restroom alone if all these older boys are going to be in there. I really think after the age of 8 they do not belong in the womens room and if I thought Disney was that dangerous there is no way I or my family would be there for vacation. Let's be real how many hundreds of thousands of people visit Disney every year and how many assaults in the bathrooms have you ever read about? You have a much better chance of being struck by lightning sitting on a bench.

 

[sameyeyam]

Oh, and just a side note: Did you guys know "guests under the age of 10 must be accompanied by an adult" to get into WDW? Imagine a 10 year old without an adult is allowed to walk around, all alone. It just reminded me since many people said they'd feel uncomfortable letting a child just one year younger in the bathroom alone. I can't imagine someone letting a 10 year old have free reign in the parks! That age should definitely be raised.

When I was a child my grandparents used to drop me & my sister off at Disneyland (they lived in Anaheim). We spent the whole day in the park, BY OURSELVES! Then we were required to take the monorail to the Disneyland Hotel at an appointed time and meet them for dinner and to check in. We then went back to the park and my grandfather picked us up at the front gate about 30 minutes after closing! Of course that was during the late 1970's, and nothing bad ever happened to us. WERE MY GRANDPARENT'S CRAZY OR WHAT!!!! This year I let DD(14) and her best friend wander around Disney without me for a few hours each morning, armed with cell phones, I still had horrible images of what could have happened to them. Slowly, but surely I'm cutting the apron strings, well sort of!

 

[juligrl]

I don't have sons so this probably won't be a situation I'll encounter, but I thought I'd give my .02 anyhow. I would have no problem with a 9 year old boy in the womens bathroom with his mother. Any parent should understand that.

 

[georgia4now]

Obviously no one is saying "take him in and let him peep at the girls and crawl on the floor." You can't use one extreme example as an excuse to put other boys in danger.

Point taken, but I still disagree. Having had this experience though, I can honestly say that 9 is too old to be in the bathroom. The exit hallway within ear-shot of mom is very understandable.

I also understand that most of the folks in the DIS community are probably the last people who would let their kids run amuck in the bathroom.

Y'all do what you gotta do to protect the kids.

 

[georgia4now]

What about the "boys" who have been in the news lately for sexually assaulting young girls How am I supposed to protect my daughters who not being overprotective I allow to go into the restroom alone if all these older boys are going to be in there. I really think after the age of 8 they do not belong in the womens room and if I thought Disney was that dangerous there is no way I or my family would be there for vacation. Let's be real how many hundreds of thousands of people visit Disney every year and how many assaults in the bathrooms have you ever read about? You have a much better chance of being struck by lightning sitting on a bench.

True. I wish I could have said it that way! Plus, If I had a 9 or 10 y.o. daughter who was uncomfortable being around 9 y.o. boys in the bathroom, I would throw a fit. Like I said, my wife was FREAKED out buy this boy peeking under her stall.

 

[Evil Queen]

What do the single or, alone at that particular time, Dad's do if they have daughters?

Not debating. I've answered on this thread. My DS10 has been using Disney bathrooms by himself and we meet outside the doors, when we are done, since he was 8. But I'm ok with the Mom's who do bring their sons in.

Also, can I ask something? What would be everyone's opinion of older boys, 12, 13 or even older going into the restroom's with their Mom's. Would that change the way of thinking? Only reason, I ask (and like I said earlier we don't worry about this anymore), my DS10 is tall and looks more like 12 or 13. This isn't the reason he started going himself, while I would be in the ladies room, he just knows the safety rules, etc and I do trust him using WDW bathrooms more than any other restroom anywhere, except for home.

 

[beattyfamily]

What do the single or, alone at that particular time, Dad's do if they have daughters?

My DH used to bring my girls in the men's room till about age 5. No more. He says their just too gross and he doesn't want to bring them in there anymore. Thankfully, he isn't alone with them often when they need to go.

He would send them into the ladies room while he waited outside. I'm not sure what else he can do.

 

[Evil Queen]

My DH used to bring my girls in the men's room till about age 5. No more. He says their just too gross and he doesn't want to bring them in there anymore. Thankfully, he isn't alone with them often when they need to go.

He would send them into the ladies room while he waited outside. I'm not sure what else he can do.

Thanks, I was just curious. I can understand if they are young like that. I know there are family bathrooms, but what if they or even the Dad couldn't "wait" to get to it? Must be real tough on single Dad's or Dad's traveling w/o mom or old enough female.

I do agree taking boys into a ladies room so much easier.

 

[grlpwrd]

This issue like many have been debated repeatedly here on the DIS, but please don't let an internet message board dissuade you from making safer choices for your child.

 

[fan_of_small_world]

What about the "boys" who have been in the news lately for sexually assaulting young girls How am I supposed to protect my daughters who not being overprotective I allow to go into the restroom alone if all these older boys are going to be in there.

Frankly, I wouldn't let a young girl go into the ladies room by herself, either. While the common image of danger is male, women have been known to abduct children as well. So, go with them and you'll be protecting them from male and female dangers. (And, we're talking about boys being in there with their moms...not just going in on their own.)

I really think after the age of 8 they do not belong in the womens room and if I thought Disney was that dangerous there is no way I or my family would be there for vacation.

Well, you'd think that church would be safe, too, but we've certainly seen that disproved.

Let's be real how many hundreds of thousands of people visit Disney every year and how many assaults in the bathrooms have you ever read about?

Probably far less than actually happen. From http://www.rainn.org/statistics/reporting-rape.html:

In 2003, only 39% of rapes and sexual assaults were reported to law enforcement officials — about one in every three. This is according to the 2003 National Crime Victimization Survey.

 

[becjlek]

I have not read this whole thread, but when my son was that age he would wear a hat into the ladies room and pull the bill down very low over his eyes.
This worked well for us and he didn't feel like eveyone was staring at him.

 

[welovedis]

For the poster who said the child was crawling around the stalls like a lizard, I can understand your feelings of not thinking it is appropriate for an older child based on this experience. However, as you said yourself, you don't have children and therefore don't have the mindset that us as parents do in protecting our children.

ducklite---I'd also add that girls do the same and worse in restrooms, I've had more than one little girl crawl through the stall, though not at WDW, and some who just stare thru the cracks in the door regardless of what is said to them. Privacy means privacy, no matter the sex of the child and it is poor parenting if your child doesn't use "bathroom etiquette".

Though my son has a form of autism, he is continously made aware of appropriate behavior regardless of the type of restroom he is in. He knows to look at the floor, esp in a ladies room and not to make eye contact with anyone but myself or his dad. We even have a social story made up with his autism specialist that deals with what to do when using a restroom, because of his issues.

And while his case is different than some of the children here, you wouldn't know it by looking at him. Yeah, are people sometimes going to not like the fact that he's in a women's restroom with me-of course. But as I've learned over the years, you can't judge a book by its cover and I no longer pass judgement on those by what I see on the surface.

Our plan, once he is older, is to either seek out the bathrooms in the child care center areas, or in areas outside of WDW where family restrooms are the norm, we use those. I'm not talking about the companion restrooms in WDW, I would only use those if he was going to have an accident, which would be rare.