Boy suspended for wearing his hair too long

[DizBelle]

The problem here is that his long hair is distracting and disruptive. I suppose a bald head would be distracting and disruptive as well. I guess any poor child returning to school after chemotherapy and has no hair will be suspended as well.

The rule is just stupid.

 

[LPZ_Stitch!]

The only person this says anything about is YOU. YOUR peceptions. YOUR thoughts. YOUR idea of what is right.

Not true. Hoodie's feelings aren't generated from a vaccuum; they are a product of the culture in which he or she grew up.

Cultural norms are what MAKE societies. They're how we define societies.

That has no bearing whatsoever on reality.

This is correct in an abstract sense. The "Universe," for lack of a better completely objective observer, could care less if human males wear long hair or short hair. However, societies and the members of those societies DO care.

You (generally) don't go to a job interview (or attempt to secure a loan) in cut-offs and a ripped T-shirt. Why? Does it matter (in "reality") that you look unkempt? Does that mean you can't do the job, or pay back the money? Not at all. But, it *is* how the business world works....

 

[luvmy3]

The problem here is that his long hair is distracting and disruptive. I suppose a bald head would be distracting and disruptive as well. I guess any poor child returning to school after chemotherapy and has no hair will be suspended as well.

The rule is just stupid.

So what, there are plenty of stupid rule (which are subjective) that people are expected to follow. You keep bring up other rules that would be considered just as stupid but none of that matters because they don't apply to this school. What matters is this school has this particular rule about the length of male students hair, and what is acceptable in their school. You can choose to abide by it, or choose to not and suffer any consequences of those actions or you can choose to go through the proper way of getting it changed.

 

[m&m's mom]

I just can't see how it is legal to allow a girl to have long hair and force a boy to have short hair in order to receive a public education WHY? WHY is that rule in place?


There are men with long hair that are doctors, lawyers, engineers, IT Managers, dentists, etc. It is not for me (DH has short hair, as do my sons), but as long as it is neat and clean WHY can't boys have long hair?

Yes rules are rules. At one time, women couldn't vote. Should they have just sat back and said "Oh well. It is a rule. It must be correct!"

There is NO good reason why a boy can't have long hair. Not-a-One. It is a very strange rule that SHOULD be questioned.

Some of you believe that the Mom is doing this to get attention. Attention is exactly what should be brought to this ridiculous rule. I asked many posts ago why it is OK for a girl but not a boy. Hasnt been answered yet. Very close minded. A little diversity goes a long way. Maybe he should be made to ride the back of the bus too, sound familiar.

7 pages and no real conversation on why its OK for girls and not boys.

OK how about this? It is socially acceptable for a man to mow his yard without a shirt on BUT it is not OK for a woman to. They both have God given bodies and I know some men with larger breasts than me.
We cannot possibly legislate every social norm we have- nor would we want to. There are exceptions to every rule but, generally there are things acceptable on one sex vs another. Women shave their legs, men do not- there are tons of examples of differences. It all comes down to social norms and what they are.

The kid is in a Dallas suburb of Mesquite. It is generally a little more blue collar but still middle class. Dad is almost covered in tattoos, bars through various parts of his face, piercings on his face etc. I am just saying he probably does not work at IBM. Dad may be the one pushing the agenda more than Mom.

I am a rule follower. I believe in the order of rules.

 

[auntie]

The school has every right to enforce the rules it has in place. The parents should comply or find a different school.

I think that is exactly the question...does the school have the right to enforce what appears to some to be an arbitrary and perhaps biased rule in a public school. Again..please know that I think the poor kid needs a hair cut. That's just my personal opinion..yet does the school have the right to suspend him because of the length of his hair? I'm not so sure I'd agree that they do. What's the thinking there..he's a white kid..so he should have his hair short, because it's culturally acceptable for him to do so. If he were from a culture where the hair is worn longer..then what? So..what do you do..make a rule for one culture and not for another. Or do you have a rule by which everyone abides. If the case is that the hair is to be short...they will be excluding children of various cultures where the hair is worn longer...isn't that discrimination based on race or culture?...
Obviously, it would appear the area that the school is in is not very culturally diverse, and it's not been an issue previously. Only the precedent being set might infringe on the rights of future students.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that while I may not agree with the mom..in that I think the child should probably have a hair cut..I'm not so sure I want to dismiss her rights or any childs rights to wear their hair they way they want to a public school. Certainly the girls have long hair..are we going to have restrictions on the length or shortness of a girls hair.
Where do you draw the line? I've had three kids attend public schools..and the youngest is now a senior in high school. Hair has never been an issue.
I mean..there are more important issues..like parents and educators working together to ensure a quality education for the kids..

As I said previously..the school board would have been smarter to have let this play itself out. Chances are pretty good that after a short time the little boy would have wanted a haircut like the rest of his classmates, and it would have become a non-issue. Just like any parent...you have to pick and choose your battles.

 

[disykat]

The problem here is that his long hair is distracting and disruptive. I suppose a bald head would be distracting and disruptive as well. I guess any poor child returning to school after chemotherapy and has no hair will be suspended as well.

The rule is just stupid.

My son wanted to shave his head in First and Second Grade (he really, really wanted to because one of the male counselors in the kids club at DCL had a shaved head!) and I did not allow him to. I felt it would be disruptive because it could cause lots of comments that would hurt his feelings etc. I honestly believe I was protecting him AND protecting the teacher that would have to deal with the "fall -out" - no pun intended.

If my son had lost his hair due to chemo, we would have had no choice. I would have involved the teacher and the other kids in learning about chemo and it's effects so he would have support. I would have done this BEFORE he walked in the door to minimize the disruption in the classroom and decrease possibilities of him being teased, etc.

If my son was shaving his head in support of someone else who lost their hair, again I would have educated those around him on the reasons and worked to minimize the disruption. The kids would have rolled with the punches because they would have been prepared.

I don't see where intentionally wearing a style that gains attention or breaks rules compares at ALL to something that is a medical issue.

Again, the whole point isn't about the rule - many agree it's a stupid rule - it's about finding more appropriate ways to fight a rule you disagree with than flat out refusal to follow it.

For example: if the city puts in a stopsign that I see as unneeded, I don't just ignore it and drive right through. I follow the rule, while setting up petititons, etc. to have the rule changed.

 

[disney1990]

I read this and was surprised. I have lived my entire life in the Washington/Baltimore area. I am use to kids wearing long hair, pink hair, blue hair and never having a problem. I am so glad to not be living somewhere, where everything you do is questioned. My DD had pink hair and green hair when she was a teenager; she is 25 now and she turned out just fine.

Maybe me, being a 60's child, has a different opinion because of the generation that I grew up with.

 

[NHdisneylover]

But your mom wanted to wear them. My friend didn't.

Parents shouldn't use kids to fulfill their agenda.

My mom could have cared less if she wore them or not (she is proud of her mother for changing therule now--was rather baffled by the uproar as a kid). I agree it seems as if in this case the mother is using her child to push an agenda (but maybe, just maybe the kid really does not want to cut his hair and she feels that it is better to teach t=him the lesson that if you really feel somehting is unjust you can fight it than to teach him to blindly follow rules. I don't know; I am not her. I do not get that sense, but it is possible this is her reasoning). In SOME cases like this the child is not a so much a pawn as someonw who wants a change and the parents fight with them for it. Sorry that was not the case for your mother--but to assume it is not the case every time a child is involved based on your mom's experience ios not right.

To those Dis'ers who don't believe a public school should have hair cut standards as part of the dress code, what do you think about public schools with uniform requirements?

Here's a link about public school uniforms. http://www.educationbug.org/a/public-school-uniform-statistics.html

Assuming the uniforms are afordable, decently confortable and okay for the climate AND provisions are made to be sure kids who come from families which cannot afford uniforms still get them I actually am very much in favour of them. The BIG difference is that my kids can take off their uniforms at the end of the school day, on the weekends and in the summer. Hair cannot grow back that fact. Once mine got cut in high school it has never gotten so long again.

I can't believe any of you think it's okay to establish a rule that requires a boy to have short hair. If the same dress code dictated that a girl maintain long hair, you would be LOSING your minds!

Yep

Personally, no, I wouldn't be losing my mind. I just wouldn't send my child to a school that required such a thing. Just my opinion of course.

Really, so you would PAY to send your child to a private school if this was the rule at the public school available to you?

The best answer I can come up with, it's a social norm, especially in young children. Kind of like if a boy wore a skirt to school. It would be very distracting, and draw attention away from learning.

First off, I agree that it is not that much of a social norm. Long hair on men and boys was common in the early days of American and has been reasonably normal since at least the late 60s again. Secondly, jsut because somethign is the social norm does not mean it is okay to force it to continue in a public setting (that everyone is required to attend or else provide themselves at their own expense). It was once the social norm to not allow african americans to atten school with caucasion children. It was once the social norm for girls to always have long hair. It was once the social norm to switch or whip children who misbehaved even at school, etc. Would you advocate that we should have made rules to preserve these norms so that they would still be in place?

The school has every right to enforce the rules it has in place. The parents should comply or find a different school.

Are they being offered a different FREE PUBLIC school to send their son too?

 

[Hoodie]

The only person this says anything about is YOU. YOUR peceptions. YOUR thoughts. YOUR idea of what is right. That has no bearing whatsoever on reality. Young boys with long hair are not necessarily neglected. Teenagers with long hair are not necessarily rebellious. Males with long hair are not necessariliy low class. Just because all males you have encountered with long hair you considered low class (which doesn't mean they were, just that you thought they were) doesn't mean that all males with long hair are low class.

No, they aren't ALL low class, like I said, I dated guys with long hair through high school. However, our society is largely based on appearances, esp. initial appearances. Long hair on a male definitely would not fly in any of the professional enviroments I have worked in. In fact, most of those places have dress codes against it.

I was responding to YOUR thought YOUR perception YOUR idea that no one would find long hair on a male wrong. I'm telling you that in REALITY,long hair would be the exception and attract negative attention in a highly professional environment.

 

[auntie]

You (generally) don't go to a job interview (or attempt to secure a loan) in cut-offs and a ripped T-shirt. Why? Does it matter (in "reality") that you look unkempt? Does that mean you can't do the job, or pay back the money? Not at all. But, it *is* how the business world works....

he's four.

Come on really...are we gonna write the kid off because he has long hair when he's four?..He's not going on a job interview, he's not working in the business world. He's got plenty of time to grow and make those choices. He's FOUR. He's got his whole life to have long hair, short hair, green hair, no hair. This should be his parents biggest worry. It's silly. It's an arbitrary rule..and unless his parents are being offered another FREE public school for him to attend. I believe it is his right (or I guess that will be determined in a court of law)..to wear his hair the way he or his parents feel he should. I just think it's too vague..you can't have a rule for boys..but not for girls. The entire issue of various cultures in a public school also comes into play as well. I think the school will likely come out on the loosing end of this.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I'm telling you that in REALITY,long hair would be the exception and attract negative attention in a highly professional environment.

and in reality school is not a "highly professional enviornment." The kids aren't arriving in dress shirts and ties (well, except for my weirdo son--it DOES get noticed and it is not the cultural norm, maybe the schools should make rules against dressing professioanlly too). Heck, even msot teachers are not dressed nearly as nicely as the people dress at DHs office. Public schools are for everyone, of every culture and income level in this counrty. They are supposed to prepare the kids to live in society--not to prepare them ALL to work in said 'highly professional' places. When did we, the country founded on rugged individualism and fighting for what you believe is right (and breaking the rules in so doing!), decide everyone has to be the same and fit into some arbitrary norm enforced by a government agency?

I honestly think the only reason the hair is distracting is becuase the adults are all making such a fuss about it. The kids would let it go fairly quickly if it were a non issue and he just wore it down like he does at home (and YES I taught both preschool and Jr High for years--seriously I can keep a class engaged well enough to not focus on anythigng like that for the long term if I need to--most teachers can). Poor behaviour, over crowded classrooms and unsafe buildings are TRUE distractions from learning which public schools should be worrying about--NOT the hair cut (or lack there of) of a child.

 

[DizBelle]

No, they aren't ALL low class, like I said, I dated guys with long hair through high school. However, our society is largely based on appearances, esp. initial appearances. Long hair on a male definitely would not fly in any of the professional enviroments I have worked in. In fact, most of those places have dress codes against it.

I was responding to YOUR thought YOUR perception YOUR idea that no one would find long hair on a male wrong. I'm telling you that in REALITY,long hair would be the exception and attract negative attention in a highly professional environment.

Fantastic. All I have to do is look the part and I'll be the next CEO. Merit and ability have nothing to do with it? If I had only known, I wouldn't have spent all that money on college.

 

[Plannin'Shannon]

Really, so you would PAY to send your child to a private school if this was the rule at the public school available to you?

Yes. I attended private school. I plan on sending my child to private school as well. I understand why this is a serious issue to some. Truly, I do. But it just isn't to me. And if it was, I wouldn't choose that school. I guess I'm just a rule-follower. Guilty as charged.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Yes. I attended private school. I plan on sending my child to private school as well. I understand why this is a serious issue to some. Truly, I do. But it just isn't to me. And if it was, I wouldn't choose that school. I guess I'm just a rule-follower. Guilty as charged.

I think it si great that you can afford private school. But, if you could not afford it, if your family fell victim to teh economy and had no jobs and had run through savings would you STILL feel the free public school had a right to tell you how long your child's hair MUST be (or not be) and be okay with someone else saying 'well then just (pay to) go to another school? To me your attitude (that if they do not like it they can be forced to pay to get a required aducation) is very elitist. I am sure that is not how you mean it, but is comes across as "if you can afford to go elsewhere you can certainly have long hair, but if not then YOU,poor person, have no choice but to follow that rule and meanwhile I, better off person, will go off to somewhere whoes rules I am happy with"

I guess you and I are very different types of people. I do NOT believe in breaking rules willy nilly or just for my convieince, but I DO believe in standing up against "bad" rules and I think that can legitamitly entail breaking the rule during the fight. I am thankful for our founding fathrs who broke a few rules; I am in awe of and very thankful for the many Europeans who risekd their lives and broke rules to shelter Jews, and other persecuted groups, during WWII; I am glad Rosa Parks and other civil rights leaders broke rules in the USA in the 60s; I have tremendous respect for the passengers on flight 93 who broke the no cell phones in flight rule when they were taken hostage and learned of their fate and did something to save others even when they knew their own lives were over. On a smaller scale, I am grateful to all the people who have worked to change the smaller rules which affect us all day in and day out, and to the parents who raised their children to fight for what is right (maybe by supprting them in a battle as simple as hair when they wer children) so that they DID do the great things I have listed above (and so many more examples not comming into my head at this late hour). I think most of our great achievements have come from breaking "the rules" (either literally or metaphorically).

 

[Minnie*J*]

If long hair is distracting in school, it would be distracting if it was boy or girl with long hair. Yet, it is only against the rules for boys to have long hair. I don't think that it is the school's place to decide how long my sons' hair should be. I am the parent and their job is to educate, not be the hair length police. Since this is a public school it is not fair to say they should find a new school. Not everyone can afford private school. Besides, with the amount I spend in school taxes, I would much rather my district use that money to educate the children of my town than pay an aide to sit in the library and babysit a child with long hair!

 

[padams]

I find the majority here thinking it's a stupid rule to be so interesting. As I posted previously, DSs attend a private school with the same haircut guidelines for boys as the Texas school. No one thinks about it (until the dean tells you to get a haircut), it's not controversial, and it's just the school's rule. I checked other local school dress codes, and 3 of the top 5 private schools in Atlanta have similar boy hair provisions in their dress codes. You want your child to go to one of these schools, you cut their hair. I haven't heard of any protests. Most parents I know would give their kids green mohawks to get their kids in these schools if that was the requirement.

I then wondered if the boy haircut rule is a Southern thing so I checked out private school dress codes around the US this afternoon (obviously, I have procrastinated about cleaning the house today). I found plenty of private schools from Arizona to Washington to Connecticut to Florida that have similar haircut guidelines for boys. So, boy haircut guidelines appear to be not uncommon in the world of elite, prep schools. (Of course, I know there are MANY, MANY private schools without haircut guidelines so no one needs to start posting examples).

As for the reasoning behind the haircut rule, many here have discussed the distraction issue. Fyi, some private schools justify the rule on the basis that the student represents the school, in and out of school. (Fwiw, private school conduct codes (which can cover off campus activities such as drinking) are also based on the same idea that the child represents the school at all times).

I think the public school aspect of the 4 year old in Texas is significant. If I don't like the haircut code, I send my kids to a different private school. With public school, the parents don't have another option (besides moving to a private school or homeschooling). I posted a question earlier wondering about required public school uniforms. I only saw one response to my question and that poster thought there is a difference between requiring a haircut and requiring uniforms. I consider mandatory uniforms in public schools to be more intrusive than a haircut policy. With uniforms, you lose virtually all individuality in dress AND you are mandating costs in a "free" public school system. With the growing trend of required uniforms in public schools, particularly urban ones, we may hear more cases of families rebelling against public school dress codes.

 

[Val]

The issue is that this is public school, not a private school. There may also be some grounds for gender discrimination- do the girls have similar regulations, or is this just for boys? If the rules apply only to 1 gender, they may have a case. If the haircut is not interfering in the educational process (as might blue spiked hair as it could be "distracting"), then the parents might have a case.

I think the parents are correct philosophically/legally in pushing the case, although I am not really sure it is about "hair" any more. While I would whole-heartedly support them, personally I would probably give in and cut my kid's hair- hair just isn't THAT important to me.

 

[S. C.]

 

[englishteacha]

It seems to me that they are punishing a child for his parents' choices. 4 year olds don't generally get much choice in how they wear their hair, do they? When I was 4, and when my nieces/nephews were 4, hair was done how parents wanted it. Do you think I would have chosen those ridiculous pigtails sticking straight out the sides of my head??

My husband had long hair for years, tied back in a ponytail. I guess I'm not sure what the big deal is about a boy having long hair. Where I teach, our rules are that kids be neat and clean, dressed with all appropriate body parts covered, and when I teach public speaking, hair must be out of the eyes. (once a boy with hair that reached his nose let one of the girls put it in a ponytail on top of his head...which was actually probably more distracting than it hanging in his eyes, but he at least followed the "No hair in the eyes" rule for speech class!)

 

[disney1990]

It seems to me that they are punishing a child for his parents' choices. 4 year olds don't generally get much choice in how they wear their hair, do they? When I was 4, and when my nieces/nephews were 4, hair was done how parents wanted it. Do you think I would have chosen those ridiculous pigtails sticking straight out the sides of my head??

My husband had long hair for years, tied back in a ponytail.I guess I'm not sure what the big deal is about a boy having long hair. Where I teach, our rules are that kids be neat and clean, dressed with all appropriate body parts covered, and when I teach public speaking, hair must be out of the eyes. (once a boy with hair that reached his nose let one of the girls put it in a ponytail on top of his head...which was actually probably more distracting than it hanging in his eyes, but he at least followed the "No hair in the eyes" rule for speech class!)

I, too, have a husband that wears long hair. He grows it out and cuts it every 2 years; he then donates it to Locks of Love. My husband is not a young kid, he is retired. I don't think that long hair is a big deal and I don't think that public school should be able to tell kids that they have to cut their hair.