Boy/Girl Siblings Sharing a Room? Opinions needed!

[tlbwriter]

Believe it or not I think there are laws in some places against that. I know there are for adopted/foster children but I'm pretty sure I have read on other boards (maybe even here ) where there are places where genetic siblings of different sexes, after a certain age, can't share rooms.
I may be totally wrong, but I'm pretty sure I'm remembering right.

Someone from MA told me this was the law there, even for bio siblings.

 

[Bethenny]

If you really think this will be your forever home, I'd really consider a 3 bedroom, at least. Kids will take up more room than you could possibly imagine. If you think that this will probably last you only a few years, consider the resale. Is it an area where there are mostly 2 bedroom homes? Plus I really don't think it's fair to make kids share a bedroom unless it's truly a necessity.

 

[Crystal0608]

I have a 2 br/1ba apt @800sf and have lived here since I was preggo w/ dd. My kids are now dd 10 & ds almost 9. They have been at the age a few years now where they want to decorate their own way, not have to share a closet & tv, change in the bathroom, limited sleepovers, etc.

I'm finally able to purchase a house and will hopefully close this month. It's 3br & 2 1/2ba and 1355 sf. To me this is huge! I'm most excited about my br closet & 3 commodes. The kids though, are most excited about having their own bedroom.

If you are planning on having more than one child, I'd go for more bedrooms.

 

[LisaNJ25]

If your just looking to buy go for the 3 bedroom. I have 4 kids and 3 share one room. Its works for us and I cannot afford a 4 bedroom place.

 

[HM]

One thing to remember.....there currently aren't any children and though there is a desire and potential to have two kids later on, there is nothing to say they won't be the same sex and can share the room forever. And what if things don't work out and kids aren't in the future (happened to my husband's brother and wife)....

It's good to think into the future, but don't base all your choices on the 'what if'
scenario.

I forgot to add that our first home (new when we bought it) was 2 bed/1 bath and we had no trouble selling it. The second owner was a single young man.

 

[Magpie]

Believe it or not I think there are laws in some places against that. I know there are for adopted/foster children but I'm pretty sure I have read on other boards (maybe even here ) where there are places where genetic siblings of different sexes, after a certain age, can't share rooms.
I may be totally wrong, but I'm pretty sure I'm remembering right.

Personally, I wouldn't do it. I have one girl and two boys, my two boys share a room now and even that is hard for them. They are 3 years apart and the older one is starting to really want his own time away from his little brother.
My dd is the oldest, and through the years has wanted her privacy more and more, there is no way she would ever share a room with either of her brothers.
If it were me and I loved the house I would see if there was a way to modify rooms, finish a basement or attic or add an addition., If none of that was an option I wouldn't buy it.

In our area, this rule (one bedroom per gender of child) only has to do with subsidized housing, foster children, and anyone under the supervision of the Children's Aid Society. I assume it's because the families are under enough stress as it is, they want to eliminate one more potential stressor (not enough room). These families are also not allowed to sleep in a bed with their own babies.

Ordinary, intact families can arrange themselves however they like.

Middle class North Americans like to have TONS of room, with everyone sort of tucked away in their own private space. That's what they're used to. Other people are used to different arrangements. My first baby was born in a two bedroom apartment I was sharing with my husband and his brother. Across the hall from us was an East Indian family who had the father, the grandfather, the brother, the husband, the wife and her new baby all living in one small apartment. It seemed to work for them - believe me, I would have heard if they ever argued!

Now me, I would have been comfortable staying in our apartment with our daughter. I grew up in apartments, my friends lived in apartments, and it never occurred to me to need more. My best friend lived in a bachelor flat with her two siblings and both her mom and dad! They rolled up sleeping mats in the morning, and laid them out in the evening. I thought that was a bit tight, but they seemed happy.

My husband, however, grew up in a modest single family dwelling, in a small town. So shortly after our daughter was born, he began looking for a "real house". That's what he was comfortable with.

Neither of understand the attraction of McMansions, though. That's just not in our comfort zone at all - way too big!

 

[scottishduffy]

I would imagine that 2 children ina 2 bedroom home would be rough.

I would only keep opposite sex siblings together until the point that the one of them began to develop a sense of privacy. At the very latest I would seperate when the older of the two was about 7-8 yrs old. During my time in childcare I knew two families who had opposite sex siblings bunk in the same room, but it never lasted long past the preschool years.

Honestly DH and I are in the process of moving and thinking of a family, and I can't imagine having less than a 3 bedroom! We will be renting a townhome for the first few years as we pay down student loans and save some cash. We are thinking of splitting it as Master bedroom, Office/Guest room/Play room (depending on if this 3rd space is a loft or an actual room), and a Childs room. We have a two bedroom now and it seems small at times just between us two and the cat!

 

[scrapquitler]

If you love the house, get it.
If you have two children of boy/girl genders, they should be fine in the same room until middle school. At that point, you may be ready to buy something larger anyway or maybe you'll be able to add an addition. And who's to say that this will be a problem anyway, right?

I agree with this poster. Well, mostly, I think I'd let girl/boy siblings share a room until maybe 1st/2nd grade if they were close in age. After that I'd try to give them each their privacy. But of course, there are a lot of reasons why it might not be possible.

Buy the house you want for the next 5 years and worry about the possibility of needing something different when the time comes.

HOWEVER I would talk to my real estate agent for a while before considering a two bedroom house. Two bedroom condos/apartments are common, but I think it might be a lot harder to resell a single family two bedroom home. Most people automatically go for a 3 bedroom and if you are selling a two bedroom you are likely cutting out at least 50% of potential buyers.

 

[Medic2891]

I would say if you are planning on two kids, you should have at least 3 bedrooms. In the beginning they could share a room, and have a play room, but they are going to want their own space at a given point in time, and if you only have 2 bedrooms, you are going to be looking for another house.

 

[lspst8]

My husband and I currently live in a 2 bedroom townhouse and are expecting our first child in February. While we aren't in a rush to move, we are planning on selling the townhouse and buying a 3 or 4 bedroom house in the next few years. Our bedrooms are really big, but the house only has one full bathroom. I remember sharing one shower with 3 other girls in college, and I don't want to go back to that. We also only have a living room, no den or family room, which will be nice when the kid/kids are older so there is more space for people to do different things.

I bought my townhouse before I even met my husband and knew I wasn't going to live her forever. I dont regret it, but I don't think I'd want 4 people to live in a 2 bedroom space for very long. Think of when the kids are in high school --- I know I would have been very unhappy in the situtation back when I was 16. Too much togetherness is possible.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I, personally, would never want to invest in a two bedroom home.

When you DO have a family, and figure out that you need more rooms, you will find out that 2-bedrooms might be a liability when trying to sell.

Call an objective realty company, or go online, and see if you can find out some statistics on sales of 2br vs 3 br homes.

Bottom line, I would NOT look at this as your 'forever' home investment.
You will most likely find out that a move is necessary, you need more space, etc.. etc... etc...

 

[Cindy's Mom]

I wouldn't do it. I couldn't imagine DD10 and DS 8 sharing a room. They have different tastes and sleeping patterns (She's early to bed early to rise, he's the opposite) - the only thing they have in common is that they both have TONS OF STUFF

I had my own room growing up and of course when I lived on my own. I'm kinda ticked that NOW I have to share a room with the DH.

 

[staley7580]

We live in a four bedroom apartment, and we have 4 kiddos and my 17yo sis in law. My older kids are 8yo ds, and 5yo dd.. we have boy girl twins that are 18 months. We USED to live in a 2bdrm apartment.. All 6 of us. My sis in law just moved in with us 2 months ago. My older kids have almost always shared a room.. We moved in here last Feb, and they each had their own room. They hated it. Our plan when my sister in law moved in was to have her get her own room, and do boys in one room.. girls in the other. But the twins arent old enough to share with the big kiddos yet, so instead the 8yo and 5yo moved back in together. They were thrilled! When we moved the beds and toys... they were dancing around hugging each other. My son even gave his sister the top bunk.. which is a BIG DEAL. Anyways.. Looks like my sister in law will be with us for another year and a half or so, then we will re-evaluate the room situation. Most likely it will go girls in one room, boys in the other.. Then a hobby play room..

My point is.. Boy/girl siblings can share a room..

 

[Jaime4004]

I (female!) shared a room with my brother until we were 7 and 9. It didn't scar us for life... It was all we knew so had no problem with it. When we moved and got our own rooms, of course we loved it but in elementary school, I don't think it makes a difference. Now DH and I have 3 kids and each have their own rooms. Sort of. We moved DS2 out of his room to paint it (took quite a while, it was a long project ) and DD6 wanted him in her room. So months later, they are still sharing a room and loving it. DS5 is perfectly content having his own space, he would not do well with his brother invading.

 

[JLTraveling]

It's truly amazing how much space you really don't need. I grew up in a 2000 sf three-bedroom home, and I was an only child. I ended up moving to New Orleans and sharing an 800 sf apartment with one male and one female roommate. Then my parents sold the house and rented a 400 sf apartment down the street from me. I ended up moving in with them for a little while, then got married and moved to a 600 sf duplex.

Now I'm divorced, my mom passed away, and my dad and I are traveling the country together in a 200 sf travel trailer. We're thinking of upgrading just slightly to one with a little bigger kitchen. We've met so many RVing families with 3 or 4 kids (babies to teenagers, both genders) in RVs no bigger than around 300 sf. They're perfectly happy, and have worked out creative solutions to privacy issues.

It really depends on your personality and what you want. But just because McMansions are the American "norm" doesn't make them a necessity, nor even the norm in most of the rest of the world. Just another perspective.

 

[SC Minnie]

My brother and I shared a room growing up. It was all we had known. No big deal. When we did get our own rooms (house was added on to) we were thrilled but we sure didn't feel deprived for having to share.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

You're buying based on the unknown.

What if you have two kids.
What if they are of different genders.
What if you have twins.
Etc.

Never think of it as your forever home as a PP said.
Things in life change and in 5 years the dynamics of your family could be totally not what you mapped out.
Buy this house but with the thought that if someday you outgrow it then you evaluate again and maybe move.

 

[vettechick99]

I've always heard that if you could possibly be in the house less than 5 years, buying a home is not a wise financial investment. Now I know you don't have kids yet, but even if you had just one in a few years, you are already cramped. It would be time to move again. Believe me, even just one child takes up a lot of space!

 

[PatsGirl]

I grew up in a two bedroom home with four kids and two parents We had two sets of bunkbeds in a 12 x 12 room with built in drawers and bookcases and one double closet to share. We also shared one bathroom. Dad finally built us a larger home when we were 8, 14, 15, and 16.

I also own a two bedroom home and my kids stayed in the same room until DD was 3 and DS was 10. I really felt at that time he needed his own space and I finished a space in the basement for him. So alot depends on age difference as well. Had they been 3 and 5 I would have kept them together a few more years.

I think its a positive thing to have kids share a room. You'd be amazed how many college freshman have difficulty in the dorms ~ they have no clue how to live with someone else. I also think that having too much space in a house creates a situation where family members are removed from each other too often. Its important to have meals together and watch television together, that sort of stuff and when each kid has their own room and their own electronics, there is no need to spend time with the family. When a house is spacious, everyone comes home and finds their own space instead of socializing.

Or at least that is what I tell myself every day when I'm feeling cramped in my 1000sf house

 

[minkydog]

We live in a four bedroom apartment, and we have 4 kiddos and my 17yo sis in law. My older kids are 8yo ds, and 5yo dd.. we have boy girl twins that are 18 months. We USED to live in a 2bdrm apartment.. All 6 of us. My sis in law just moved in with us 2 months ago. My older kids have almost always shared a room.. We moved in here last Feb, and they each had their own room. They hated it. Our plan when my sister in law moved in was to have her get her own room, and do boys in one room.. girls in the other. But the twins arent old enough to share with the big kiddos yet, so instead the 8yo and 5yo moved back in together. They were thrilled! When we moved the beds and toys... they were dancing around hugging each other. My son even gave his sister the top bunk.. which is a BIG DEAL. Anyways.. Looks like my sister in law will be with us for another year and a half or so, then we will re-evaluate the room situation. Most likely it will go girls in one room, boys in the other.. Then a hobby play room..

My point is.. Boy/girl siblings can share a room..

That is just about the sweetest thing ever. My DS24 and DD17 are closer than close. Of course, they don't share a room, never have. But I can count on one hand how many tiffs they've had over the years. Count yourself very blessed. It astounds me how many families I've encountered where siblings fight or even downright hate each other.