Boy/Girl Siblings Sharing a Room? Opinions needed!

[Rora]

DH and I are looking to move to a new home. We're currently living in an old (scary) house and we're ready to buy our "family home".

Currently, children aren't happening anytime soon. Probably 3-5 years. HOWEVER, we do want to plan accordingly. We're looking at a house that has 2 bedrooms and a family room. We're very happy with the size of the house (we don't want anything bigger) and the price.

I just have one concern.. we clearly can't know what gender our children will be. The plan right now is to have 2 kids. What happens if we have one boy and one girl? Would it be acceptable for them to live in the same room? If yes, is it up until a certain age?

We could turn the family room into another bedroom if need be, but I was really hoping to leave it a family room. Of course, if it needs to be converted, it will be.

I'm just looking for some opinions. Thanks!

 

[lovemygoofy]

I don't have children but I can almost promise that at some point you will be unhappy with those 2 bedrooms because you will accumulate stuff and the kids accumulate stuff. You will want wiggle room and the kids need their own space.

Have you thought about family coming to visit where they would sleep?

I'm amazed that I went from 900sqft 1 bdr to almost 3000 sqft to 4bdr and I will never go back to less than 2000! I love my own bathroom and love my husband having his own closet!

Seriously think about what your needs are for future house especially bathrooms and closets and needing space.

 

[HM]

If you love the house, get it.
If you have two children of boy/girl genders, they should be fine in the same room until middle school. At that point, you may be ready to buy something larger anyway or maybe you'll be able to add an addition. And who's to say that this will be a problem anyway, right?

 

[kimblebee]

I would say it should be ok until the oldest child is 6-7 years old. Then they should have their own space. If they are the same sex, it is ok for as long as the need be. When I lived at home, I shared a room with my sister and there was a 3 year difference. My two brothers shared a room and there was a 4 year difference between them. We all shared until we started moving out.

 

[minkydog]

My younger two kids are 2 years apart, boy/girl. They shared a room until they were 4 & 6, when DD(the older one) started hiding in the closet to change her clothes. We have a small house so we had to make a space for each of the kids. I would have put both my boys together, but they were 9 years apart, and the younger one is severely mentally handicapped, so that living arrangement would have never workd. Lucky for us, we were able to carve out a little space in the basement and older son moved in there so all of the kids had their own space.

 

[Rora]

I don't have children but I can almost promise that at some point you will be unhappy with those 2 bedrooms because you will accumulate stuff and the kids accumulate stuff. You will want wiggle room and the kids need their own space.

Have you thought about family coming to visit where they would sleep?

I'm amazed that I went from 900sqft 1 bdr to almost 3000 sqft to 4bdr and I will never go back to less than 2000! I love my own bathroom and love my husband having his own closet!

Seriously think about what your needs are for future house especially bathrooms and closets and needing space.

That's the point of having a small house! No, I love my family.. but still.

Anyways, you brought up a valid point about the closets and bathrooms. We're going to look at the house again today. I will think about that while I'm there!

 

[Nik's Mom]

You really need to think about the future when buying a home. When dh and I bought our first home, we did not have children. At the time, 1190 sq ft home with 3 bedrooms and 1 bath seemed like plenty of space. We figured that we would have 2 kids and would probably live in that house only a few years anyway. Fast forward 6 years, 2 kids and one parent living with us= very cramped quarters. That house was bursting at the seams with people and their belongings.

Now that we have a bigger house, it's hard to imagine how we lived in such tight quarters. Our kids are now 11 and 8 and do not want to share a room. We now have enough room where they don't have to.

 

[Magpie]

Get the house, if you love it!


We bought a tiny house - just 800 square feet. There were just two bedrooms. My boy and girl shared a room until they were about 7 and 9, at which point we lifted up the house and built a fully furnished basement with two more bedrooms.

I would say there was NO problem with having the kids share a bedroom up to the ages they did, and maybe even a little longer. I will say though, that if we couldn't have afforded to lift the house I would have finished the attic so they could have their own rooms by now. They're 12 and 14, well into puberty both of them, and I don't think sharing a room would be very enjoyable for either of them.

What would I consider a maximum age? I think I'd like to have put my daughter (the eldest) in her own room by about age 11... 13 at the absolute outside.

As for the stuff kids collect - depending on how far apart in age your kids are, they may share most of their toys. Going through regularly to toss old broken toys, and give away toys that aren't played with any more, goes a long way to keeping the clutter down. Also, you can make a conscious decision not to buy them a lot of junk. We had no problems with storing kid stuff, and they weren't deprived either.

I think families expand to fill the space around them. If you've got more room, you'll end up with more stuff - but not necessarily better stuff, or even anything you'll use.

 

[tlbwriter]

How do you guys feel about space right now? Do you have lots of stuff? Do you prefer having a quiet space separate from family space? If you found out you weren't okay with two bedrooms, would you be able to add on another bedroom or family room? And what would you do if child #2 turned out to be twins?

 

[NotUrsula]

Look at the building codes and the configuration of the lot. Could you build on another small bedroom if you needed to? Or convert part of a basement or an attic? I'd say that if the house has potential for conversion/expansion, then you should be fine. Remember that the extra space doesn't have to be a lot of extra space; a kid can easily be comfortable in 100 sq. feet. or even a bit less. (Mine are fine, and the oldest is a lot taller than I am.)

As for houseguests, a murphy bed or fold-out sofa in the family room should do for that as long as you are not living in a popular tourist area.

 

[Rora]

How do you guys feel about space right now? Do you have lots of stuff? Do you prefer having a quiet space separate from family space? If you found out you weren't okay with two bedrooms, would you be able to add on another bedroom or family room? And what would you do if child #2 turned out to be twins?

Oh my goodness. You. Are. A. Lifesaver.

There are twins on both sides of my family. They skip every other generation. It's my generation's turn to have the twins. I guess there's no way to know if I'll be the lucky one with the twins, but wow, thank goodness you mentioned that!!

Anyways, we don't have a lot of stuff. We don't like having a lot of stuff laying around and have found that we can happily make do with very little. However, I know kids don't function that way.

We're going to look at the house again today, this will only be our 2nd time visiting. We're still looking at other houses although I really like this one. I will take note if expanding the house would be an option.

Thanks to everyone for the opinions!

 

[LJRJR]

I agree with the advice, if you love the house get it. However, when you have children and if you have a girl and a boy, they will need their own space. I have 2 DS and 1 DD (she is the oldest), I would say that by the time she was 7 or 8 she needed more of her own space. How is the bedroom set up, could it be devided, does the house have an attic that you could expand into? While it is good to think about the future, dont stretch yourself too far right now. As far as needing so much space to live in, my family of 5 lives in 1800 sq. feet of space, and I feel we do just fine with it. I wouldnt want any more space, because then I would fill it up with stuff.

 

[ICF]

I wouldnt do it...

One thing to think about as well. What do you do when child #1 is 2 or 3 years old and child #2 is a crying through out the night keep child #1 up as well. That wouldn't be fun, IMO.

I'd look for a 3 bed room!

 

[SpecialK]

Our first house was 1200sf, 2 bedroom and 1 bath. It seemed big enough when my two sons were babies. As they got bigger, it just didn't work for us anymore. If we had loved the neighborhood (or the neighbors) we would have added on, but we ended up moving.

Things that bugged me: one bathroom, the size of the bedrooms (will one be big enough for furniture for two kids?), storage/closet space, not enough room to entertain more than a small group.

 

[golfgal]

One other thing to consider, and maybe things are different in your area, but a 2 bedroom house is very difficult to sell. Even if you don't need the 3rd bedroom, it does help significantly with resale.

Our twins shared a room until they were 1st grade or so and even after that they often would sleep in each other's rooms.

 

[mhsjax]

I wouldn't do it. I would find at least a 3 bedroom house. I have 3 kids. There is no way that my DS and DD would have shared a room much beyond about 4 or 5. I think once the older of the 2 start kindergarten, then sharing a room is off. JMHO.

 

[Hannathy]

You are very young! you should not be thinking of this as your forever home. Are you both settled in your careers? At your ages it is very reasonable to expect a work move at some point along the career path. Also what is affordable now will change as you advance in your jobs and savings. Seriously I would buy this house as If we have to stay here for the next 60 yrs we like it BUT we can and probably will move at least once in the next 60 yrs!

As far as kids of opposite sex I think up till early elem it is OK but when they start thinking of themselves as the sex they are and not kids and start developing personal private space issues it is past time. When a little girl starts getting her period and this is happening younger and younger she is embarrassed and unsure of herself enough as it is without having a pesky and nosy brother wondering what is going on or what is in her drawer.
Ideally I would say 5-6.

 

[luvmy3]

Believe it or not I think there are laws in some places against that. I know there are for adopted/foster children but I'm pretty sure I have read on other boards (maybe even here ) where there are places where genetic siblings of different sexes, after a certain age, can't share rooms.
I may be totally wrong, but I'm pretty sure I'm remembering right.

Personally, I wouldn't do it. I have one girl and two boys, my two boys share a room now and even that is hard for them. They are 3 years apart and the older one is starting to really want his own time away from his little brother.
My dd is the oldest, and through the years has wanted her privacy more and more, there is no way she would ever share a room with either of her brothers.
If it were me and I loved the house I would see if there was a way to modify rooms, finish a basement or attic or add an addition., If none of that was an option I wouldn't buy it.

 

[disneyfans95]

Our son and daughter shared till the oldest was 9. We were saving up to move into our first house and had to wait another year to get the 20% downpayment we wanted

Of course now they have their own rooms, but spend 99% of it in my daughters playing games, tv, annoying each other. Before they never wanted to be together.

Got a big house, 4 bedrooms and now they are attached at the hip

 

[Pluto 2]

you dont need a really big house but you should get at least a 3 bedroom.
if you get the 2 bedroom house now and later you need to add on of course it wil cost $$$$. it will probaly be cheaper just to get the three bedroom house now than to add on later.