Birthday party 3 out of 12 RSVP's!

[MB MinnieGirl]

DD 5th birthday party is next Saturday, as in a week from tomorrow. I was waiting for a head count before buying all the goodies this weekend. Who knew I was such a dreamer?

DD invited 12 children. I personally delivered all of the invitations a week ago (actually a little over that) so I know they all have them. I have only had 3 people RSVP.

I was venting to my friend in MS and telling her how rude I thought this was. She said, "I only RSVP if I can't make it, does that make me rude?"

Ummmmm..........YES!!

My ESP is not working people I need those RSVP'S!!

I do want to say that one mother was so sweet, she not only said her son was coming but left a message with her number for me to call if I needed any help with the party! I LOVE HER!!

 

[mommytotwo]

I hate it when this happens. Try giving the parents a call to see if their child will attend and let them know that you need a head count since you will be going out to buy the goodies this afternoon.
I would also suggest having a few extras just in case some kids do show up and their parents say they will not.
That was nice of that mother to offer her help.

 

[jgmklmhem]

Just asking....did you put a RSVP by ???? date on it because still over a week away is sometimes still too far out to know about such things. My daughter is also invited to a party on the 19th and her invite says RSVP by Wednesday the 16th. I already did RSVP but unless there is a RSVP by date I don't think replying at least 5 days out is too bad.

 

[Lollipop's Mom]

Grrrrrr I know this one!! DD will be 9 in may and I have always had to track down rsvps at the last minute!!! I don't want to buy 10 goodie bags if i only need 5! I hate it when people do not rsvp! Here is a good story for you... 2 yrs ago (7th bday), we were living in a tiny place and no room for a party - so DD wanted a McD's party. There is a huge play place and video games there, so worked nicely. She wanted to invite about 20 kids (school and non-school friends). I let her, figuring that in the past, she has invited 10, and only 5 show up. What happens?? 20 kids all show up! I had 8 RSVP and 20 show up! I just about flipped. I think McD's flipped too! hahaha. So not to even mention what this little get-together cost me - it was a nightmare. My mom ran to a nearby dollar store and bought skipping ropes for the girls and something else for the boys - and they all went home with that instead of a goodie bag! THEN......we get the bill and there is all this extra food on it. It seems that parents were dropping off kids, then going and getting themselves or siblings a meal and charging it to our bday party!! Plus.....it was so out of control that kids had ordered milkshakes and I didn't even know about it! Long story short....Mcd's took off the extra food charges because they did not clear it with me - but I still had about a $250 bill!
So yah...the rsvp thing is pretty important! LOL

 

[pearlieq]

This drives me nuts! I think a week out is plenty of time to commit to a party. Why do people act like they're doing you a favor by coming to your party? If someone issues you an invitation, it is your responsibility to decide in a timely fashion if you will be able to accept or not. And once you accept, the only acceptable excuses for not showing are illness, some unforseen accident (the car won't start, your house just flooded), or death.

Too many people I know seem like they're either waiting until something "better" comes along before accepting, or they accept and then blow you off if something else "comes up". I usually give those people two chances--if that pull that stunt twice they're off my invite list! You find out who you good friends are pretty fast when you throw a party.

 

[Queen Quinnella]

I had a b-day party at a water park for my DD's 4th. I invited 4 kids + parents. I got 1 RSVP back. Now a party at a water park is expensive, you have to bring in your own food, set it up and pay for all the guests. I figured if they didn't respond then they were not coming. I canceled the party. I don't know if they showed up or not

 

[mrsv98]

We were so burned last year for DD's 4th that this year we are thinking of just taking her three little friends to RainForest Cafe or having a Disney themed party at home. She loves the crafts on Project Playtime so we could do some of those and just let them play. Last year, only three kids showed up...broke my heart.

 

[disneymom3]

Oh I HATE that! Every party DD has had I swear kids parent's call the day before and say they are coming. Have these people never HAD a kids party before? I really don't want to be shopping Friday night for a Saturday party thanks!! And then there are the people who say they are coming and then don't. I won't allow DD to invite these two little girls who live up the street anymore--for THREE years they said they were coming and then they didn't show up! No phone call, no nothing. When DD saw them a few days later and she asked why they didn't come they just said oh they couldn't make it.

Why are so people so rude?

 

[CEDmom]

I really do find it hard to believe that people don't know to do this. Don't they have parties for their own children? If so, than you'd think they would understand how frustrating it is. However, based on what your friend said I guess basic manners weren't covered in a lot of home. Good luck and Happy Birthday to your DD.

 

[Blondy876]

My dd's dedication is this Sunday. I have invited around 50 people and about 6 have RSVPed. I know I should call those who haven't and ask but I don't have time, that's why I put my phone # on the invite. I guess I'll just hope that we have enough food, and if not I'll be running across the street to the grocery store.

(BTW One of the people that RSVPed wasn't even invited. )

 

[Hippychickali]

I can't speak about children's birthday parties because I don't have any children but it would never occur to me to RSVP for a party unless someone asked me to. I would probably phone if I couldn't come to the event, though. So, I don't think it is a matter of not being taught manners. I don't think these parents are being intentionally rude. I know that when my little sister had birthday parties (I can't remember my own), my mom would do a loot bag up for everyone that was invited not how many RSVP'd, as I don't think that is common practice for kid's birthday parties here. My sister would take the loot bags to school for those who didn't make it to the party and they would do the same with her gift. I guess my suggestion would be to phone people and ask if their child will be attending. I'm curious: Did you ask that they RSVP?

Ali

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

Blondy876
(BTW One of the people that RSVPed wasn't even invited.


How considerate of them!

 

[MB MinnieGirl]

Lollipop's Mom - I would have lost my mind if I had been you! Not only people who just showed up but parents stiffing you for food THEY ate? OMG!

pearlieq - You and I are on the same page. It's not as though a 5 year old has such a huge social calander that they cannot commit one week prior!

Queen Quinnella - I would hope they did show up - it would teach them a good lesson. And don't flame me, I mean the parents need the lesson.

mrsv98 - Oh bless your dd's heart! That is my biggest fear aside form not having enough for everyone. How can people be so rude and heartless?

CEDmom - You're right. She actually acted like I was an idiot. According to her, "nobody here (in MS) RSVP's." I told her she'd better stay there then and not move elsewhere.

Blondy876 - LOL!!!! You just made my day! People that aren't invited respond! Put them on the list to always invite.

Hippychickali - Did I ask them to RSVP? You'd better believe it. Just as every invitation that has every come for dd has as well. I clearly stated that I needed an RSVP by the 10th and gave my phone number. For cryin' out loud, there is even a preprinted space on the Disney Princess invitation that says "R.S.V.P" in nice bold letters with a nice blank line for you to write the date and phone number. What more needs to be done...should I simply write..."Call this number and tell me if you plan on bringing your kid. If you do not call then keep said kid AT HOME!" As for me taking the goodies bags to school. That's not going to happen. Not all the children in her class are invited so that would be pretty rude to the other kids and never have I seen anyone bring a gift to school after missing a party. Nice thought, but it wouldn't fly here. I just don't think I should have to purchase, napkins, plates, utinsils, cake, snacks, goody bags, etc. for kids who aren't coming to the part simply b/c their parents didn't make a phone call. I also don't like the idea of dd being dissapointed b/c so few people showed up when she thought there would be 12....knowing ahead of time is called planning a party.

 

[Duchie]

This is also a pet peeve of mine!

I was venting to my friend in MS and telling her how rude I thought this was. She said, "I only RSVP if I can't make it, does that make me rude?"

So your friend only calls if she can NOT make it? I just had this conversation with a friend of mine from here who says people only call if they CAN make it. So who's right? And how are you supposed to know if they're not calling because they CAN'T make it or because they CAN?

I think your frustration is totally justified. I'm tired of having oodles of extra "goodie bag stuff" lying around because people can't figure out how to use a phone.

 

[mommystieg]

How frustrating...and it seems this is happening more and more. We often limit our DDs' parties to a few friends and family to avoid this. We went to one party at a skating rink where about 12-15 kids had RSVP'd but only three or four showed up!!! The poor parents had paid for enough pizza for all the RSVP's!! When did common courtesy become so uncommon?

 

[Kimberle]

Best of luck, to you! I just sent dd's out on Wed. She invited her whole class. Out of the 21, I have 3 RSVP's back so far. I always have the respond date about 10 days before the party so I have follow up time.

Last year, I was very lucky. Out of 26, only 3 didn't respond. Everyone showed up, too. The year before, for her 1st actual party, only 1/2 of the people RSVP'd. I had to leave a "reminder note". Most then called & apologised (some had lost the invite), but still 4 or 5 didn't.

This year it's an entirely new "crowd" since she's now in Kindergarten. I sent them out only 3 weeks ahead so they wouldn't have time to "forget".

The place I'm having it this year is all inclusive. They even do the goody bags. At least I won't have to worry about running out.

 

[MB MinnieGirl]

Hey...I found this little piece of info. online. Perhaps I should include it with future invitations and of course I will be sending it to my friend in Mississippi.


What does RSVP mean on an invitation?

RSVP, from the French phrase, "Responde S'il Vous Plait," loosely translated means to please reply. When you receive an invitation that states, "RSVP," you should contact the sender to confirm or convey your regrets that you can not attend. The sender of the invitation uses your RSVP to determine the necessary amount of food, beverage, and seating arrangements. The ultimate breach of etiquette is to receive a RSVP invitation, not respond, and then show up. Do not take it for granted that "they know you are or are not planning to attend." Remember, "ALWAYS RESPOND! There is absolutely no excuse for not communicating your acceptance or regrets."

What does RSVP Regrets Only on an invitation imply?

RSVP Regrets Only means that the person extending the invitation expects you to attend the function. If you plan to attend, you need not respond. However, if you do not plan to attend, you should respond and give your "regrets." It is not necessary to explain why you will not be attending.

 

[~*Belle 2003*~]

How incredibly rude of them...we were brought up to make sure we always replied to every invitation, whether we could go or not.

 

[cats7494]

How incredibly rude of them...we were brought up to make sure we always replied to every invitation, whether we could go or not.

Same thing in my household..you ALWAYS let them know!
I just mailed invitations for my DD10's bday so I hope I get some response...although I am pretty good friends with 2 of the moms, so I know already that 2 of the 3 girls are coming

Smaller group this year, she picked her closest friends...fine with me! :

 

[Hippychickali]

HippychickaliDid I ask them to RSVP? You'd better believe it. ... As for me taking the goodies bags to school. That's not going to happen. Not all the children in her class are invited so that would be pretty rude to the other kids and never have I seen anyone bring a gift to school after missing a party. ... ....knowing ahead of time is called planning a party.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying you aren't justified in being upset. I didn't realize that you had asked for an RSVP. That's a different situation than what I was talking about. As far bringing loot bags to class, the reason why that worked I guess is because for our parities, my mom just invited the whole class or all the girls in the class. I'm not saying it was wrong of you to ask for an RSVP. Is it possible that they didn't RSVP because they don't plan on coming?

As a side note, do people not send gifts even if they miss the party? I don't understand that.

Ali