At the risk of being completely selfish with another all about me post...I can't even believe this, and I'm sure I'm probably giving you TMI posting it. I'm still a little shocked, so bear with me.
I think I may be kicked out of Dennis's family, and I'm not really unhappy about that.
This post could definitely be called "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly". The good was Benjamin generally had a nice time and really enjoyed seeing everyone. Plus, the toothless wonder and her crew did not show up, so I have an extra Barbie and set of matchbox cars if anyone is interested

The food was also delicious. My SIL either made or bought a bunch of goodies and skipped the pizza. It was very nice.
The bad was the attire of one of Dennis's cousins (wife/girlfriend -- I don't think they're married because no rings, but their kids range in age from 14 -6). This woman is 42, and her skirt said "I'm 17". Seriously it was so short it barely covered her lady parts. Ben was embarrassed, and I just kept trying to look at her face. No tights or other hosiery, just bare legs. She had to be freezing!
Now for the ugly. Ok, you know how emotional I was before I even left, but I don't think I'm blowing this out of proportion. It may be hard for some of you to understand why this upset me so much, but I spoke with an In Real Life (IRL) friend, and she assured me I had an appropriate response, as she comes from a similar perspective.
We arrived and were getting settled in the living room with my evil SIL, my FIL and SMIL. SMIL started talking about football and all the fuss around Tim Tebow (he kneels -- and presumably prays -- he's a devout Christian) every time his team scores a touchdown. She said she didn't understand it when all the "colored people do big dances everytime they score." I looked at her and said, "Did you say 'colored people'?" She said, "Yeah, the whites and the colored people." I wanted to say something I could never take back, because believe me, it would have been a relationship ending comment. Instead I took a breath, got up and went outside of the house, and burst into tears.
Since I was outside I didn't hear, but Dennis said he went over to her and told her that I'm bi-racial and that was a very hurtful and insensitive comment. She didn't know what to say. Then Dennis came out to see me. I feel bad because poor Ben just got left behind, but I couldn't be in there then. Anyway, Dennis eventually convinced me we had to stay. I wanted to leave right then. No one else heard what she said or knew why I was a basket case, they probably thought Dennis and I had a fight. While we were outside Ben came outside to tell us she had left. She left mind you, there was no apology or contact.
I was pretty upset but eventually I stopped crying and got it together. This was about an hour into the party. Five hours later everyone else left (keep in mind the hosts are our buddies, so I knew we would stick around), and I told my SIL what happened and apologized for putting a damper on her party. She didn't know what had happened, only that I was upset. She told me that I didn't do anything and they knew SMIL was stupid. Well, we all do, but I still didn't expect to have to deal with that with this family, which I have theoretically, ok legally, been a part of for over
18 years!
I am so hurt. I told Dennis I knew there would be comments about my weight, but I can always change that (ok, we know it's harder than that, but you know what I mean). I can't change my DNA. It brought up all the old feelings about not being accepted as a child, and thinking no one other than my parents (my adoptive parents) wanted me. I really think that I am generally in a good place and that is my past and I am a confident and competent person, but to hear someone who is supposed to at least accept or respect me (and she acts like she likes me, even if she is a flake) make comments like that just broke my heart. It was bad enough two years ago when she asked me to take her shopping at the "big girl" stores because I must know where to find Plus sized clothes, and her daughter (who doesn't speak to Dennis or his siblings), is a 0 and she wouldn't be able to shop with her...I know I was probably being too sensitive with that one, but it was embarrassing in front of Dennis's entire family...
Unfortunately this latest incident sent me into a tailspin. While we sat with my SIL and BIL at the after party I ate a ton of desserts from her 3-tiered tray of goodies. We were also sent home with a ton of food. I haven't had much of it, I had popcorn for dinner and then three more pieces from the tray that came home with us.
I have to take Ben to church for confirmation class, since Dennis is staying home to meet a handy person who is doing some repair work for us. The last thing I want to do is sit in a pew by myself and try to be friendly to people when we greet everyone else. If I could stay in my bed today, I would. Sigh.
Oh, and even my Beloved Patriots will probably make me cry today -- because we are playing Denver, Tim Tebow's team. I'm probably going to burst into tears when they score (and they will, our Defense is pathetic), and for all the wrong reasons!


I guess on the bright side I'm pretty much assured the new tv I wanted for the bedroom for Christmas is coming

I think I could tell Dennis I want an ABD (Adventures By Disney) trip right now and he would agree

Of course, I wouldn't do that, but I might try to wheedle a couple of days at WDW out of our summer vacation. I think we're going to Tampa to visit the other good SIL, and I am really feeling the need for some

right now. I am trying to distract myself and not think about this too much anymore.
Can I say I am really looking forward to the ornament exchange?!

I have to get ready for church, and Dennis is going to be on the computer this afternoon. I'll try to get back tonight and actually reply to everyone else!
Thanks for putting up with me. You cannot know how much it means to me to have a safe place to come to talk about difficult things.
Maria
