Bible buffs....Spare The Rod And Spoil The Child?

[luvmylittleboy2003]

This ? is a spin off of another post where this quote was used....can someone explain this to me? I have heard several theories, but, would love to know the 'truth' behind this quote?

 

[dmslush]

This ? is a spin off of another post where this quote was used....can someone explain this to me? I have heard several theories, but, would love to know the 'truth' behind this quote?

The only bible quotes that I could find that are close to this are:

Prov 13:24: "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

bullet Prov 19:18: "Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying."

bullet Prov 22:15: "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."

bullet Prov 23:13: "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die."

bullet Prov 23:14: "Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell."

bullet Prov 29:15: "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."



I think you have to keep in mind the context in which these are written, I don't think God is, in any way, trying to tell people to go get a stick and beat the snot out of their kids... your 'rod' and my 'rod' may be two completely different things. My rod is a sharp look and the phrase 'shelby, please.' That stops her in her tracks. When she was a toddler, my rod was a swat on her diapered bottom.

 

[Obi-Wan Pinobi]

I found this explanation on idiomsite.com (man, there's a site for everything!) --

Spare The Rod, Spoil the Child
This was a common phrase in the previous century, and still exists today. It refers to the practice of spanking your children in discipline; the phrase "spare the rod, spoil the child" means that if you don't punish your children when they do wrong, you'll spoil them. This comes from a Biblical proverb (Prov 13:24): "He who withholds his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently."

 

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

I don't know about the rest of y'all, but for me it's spare the ROCK (as in rock-n-roll), spoil the child.

But seriously, I think it means if you don't discipline your children when they misbehave, you end up with entitlement brats who won't listen when they're older.

 

[dmslush]

I don't know about the rest of y'all, but for me it's spare the ROCK (as in rock-n-roll), spoil the child.

But seriously, I think it means if you don't discipline your children when they misbehave, you end up with entitlement brats who won't listen when they're older.

I agree! I read this at a juvenile court clerk's office the other day (I was working):

How to raise a criminal:

1. Begin in infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way he will grow up to believe the world owes him a living.

2. When he picks up bad words, laugh at him. This will make him think he's cute. It will also encourage him to pick up cuter phrases that will blow off the top of your head later.

3. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait until he is 21, and then let him decide for himself.

4. Avoid the use of the word "wrong." It may develop a guilt complex. This will condition him to believe later, when he is arrested for stealing a car, that society is against him and that he is being persecuted.

5. Pick up everything he leaves lying around - books, shoes, and clothing. Do everything for him so he will be experienced in throwing all responsibility onto others.

6. Let him read any printed matter he can get his hands on. Be careful that the silverware and drinking glasses are sterilized, but let his mind feast on garbage.

7. Quarrel with your spouse frequently in the presence of your children. In this way they will not be too shocked when the home breaks up later.

8. Give the child all the spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own. Why should he have things as tough as you had them?

9. Satisfy his every craving for food, drink and comfort. See that every sensual desire is gratified. Denial may lead to harmful frustration.

10. Take his part against neighbors, teachers, and policemen. They are all prejudiced against your child.

11. When he gets into real trouble, apologize for yourself by saying, "I never could do anything with him."

 

[kristilew]

The verse is taken out of context when used to justify spanking.

In context, the whole Proverb 13 is from a list of advice about using moderation and good judgement in all things. There are other lines in the same proverb about leaving a good inheritance for your children, and about the wise son heeding his father's advice. There is a farming metaphor throughout, and the "rod" refererred to is probably an analogy to the rod used to guide the oxen on the right path: not for beating but for course correction.

 

[kellyg403]

The verse is taken out of context when used to justify spanking.

In context, the whole Proverb 13 is from a list of advice about using moderation and good judgement in all things. There are other lines in the same proverb about leaving a good inheritance for your children, and about the wise son heeding his father's advice. There is a farming metaphor throughout, and the "rod" refererred to is probably an analogy to the rod used to guide the oxen on the right path: not for beating but for course correction.

Yes...that is the interpertation I have always understand. It is more about the guidance/correction and not the spanking.

Kelly

 

[I_Know_You2!]

dmslush, great list!

 

[luvmylittleboy2003]

Thanks everyone.

dmslush - I also like your list

 

[kristilew]

Just came back from my Bible study - doing David this fall. As God would have it, there was much discussion of the rod. As in the shepherd's rod and staff that was all David had to protect his sheep. Also as in the 23rd psalm rod and staff that comfort me while God guides me on good paths for His name's sake. Clearly not an excuse for beating our kids.

 

[Judy from Boise]

I was also going to say that as i understand the context, a shepherd used his rod not to beat the sheep (his whole identity was to keep the sheep safe and healthy!) but to "guide" them away from unsafe circumstances.

 

[jimmiej]

I looked at several coomentaries & this was the only one with any explanation as to what "rod" means.

The New John Gill Exposition of the Entire Bible

Proverbs 23:13

Withhold not correction from the child…
When he has committed a fault, and correction is necessary; for to spare it is the ruin of the child, and no proof of true affection in the parent, but the reverse; see (Proverbs 13:24) (19:18) ; for, [if] thou beatest him with a rod, he shall not die;
if he be beaten moderately, there is no danger of his dying under the rod, or with the stripes given him; besides, such moderate and proper corrections may be a means of preserving him from such crimes as would bring him to a shameful and untimely death, and so he shall not die such a death; and by such means, through the grace of God, he may escape the second, or eternal death.

This from The Message version:

13-14 Don't be afraid to correct your young ones;
a spanking won't kill them.
A good spanking, in fact, might save them
from something worse than death.