Beth's WW Journey. (Comments Welcome)

[AmyBeth68]

I'm really sorry to hear that Beth.

 

[postesf]

So sorry to hear that Beth!!!

 

[larry's girl]

Hi, Beth. I am sorry I haven't been here to support you as you go through this terribly difficult time. I so appreciate your encouragement on my journal, so I hope I am able to offer something positive for you here.

You have every right to care for yourself and put your needs first. You can't care for your beautiful daughter if you aren't in good health, and we all know that stress eating and not exercising are not the ways to good health. Unfortunately, it is what is easiest to do when we are in a tough place emotionally. (Believe me, I do understand that impulse - I do it myself far too often.) The fact that you are resisting that impulse is so impressive, and it shows that you are truly committed to being a healthy person.

I am very sorry that your husband has chosen to make what sounds to me like a horrendously bad choice in his life, and that his choice impacts you and your daughter so much. I could go on to tell you about all the people I know who were in a similar situation and, in time, moved on to a great relationship with a truly wonderful person (my stepmother would be one of those people - she has now been married to my dad for 35 1/2 years). However, I don't think that's what you need to hear most right now. I know from your posts that you are a strong, compassionate, loving woman who will find your way through this trialsome situation with grace and courage, and when you have taken the time to heal emotionally, you will then move forward and experience all the great things that your life has in store for you.

I hope you don't think I am being too personal in my comments to you. I just don't want to see you give up on your healthy lifestyle and your commitment to yourself because of your husband's decisions. Please know that I am here if you need to talk, and I wish you nothing but the best.

Susan

 

[larry's girl]

Double post - sorry!

 

[MIdanceMom]

Thanks everyone,

Your support means so much. I am trying to deal with things in an adult manner. I don't want to look back at this time in my life and be embarrassed or ashamed. I can't change my husband's mind, and I think he is making a huge mistake. I can control my actions and words. I will not be a pushover, but at the same time, I will not be nasty. I need to remember that Jon is Katie's father, and she is the one who is hurt, if we can't maintain a decent relationship. That said, I had to take Nyquil to get to sleep tonight, and I've cried a couple of buckets worth of tears today. I did some work on my resume, and I made a list of things that need to be done around the house before we can put it on the market. I also did a couple of loads of laundry and had lunch with my mom. I now need to take katie to dance and then do the homework thing.

I'll be by tonight or tomorrow.

Take care,
Beth

 

[MIdanceMom]

Well, this is hands down the worst day of my life. I broke my daughter's heart. Jon just stuttered, and it was up to me to tell her. We were all cuddled in our bed, and while we were talking, and crying, and crying, Jon fell asleep. Kate and I went downstairs, and I answered her questions and calmed her again. I woke his sorry *** up for dinner. We played card games until bedtime. Kate couldn't sleep. (big surprise) Again, I am the one to comfort her. After she is asleep, Jon says that was the hardest thing he has ever done. HUH?!?! He also informs me that he is thinking of moving to Columbus. He also wants minimum visitation. what happened to taking Katie whenever I needed to work? What happened to staying close and doing this as a team? Sorry, I should be used to being blindsided by now. I am also not supposed to say anything nasty about Darcy, the person in Columbus. Oh, did I mention TOM came 6 days early?

Ok, I am sorry about the rant. I am angry andfeeling sorry for myself. If any of you have some advice, please feel free to give it.

I am off to bed.
Beth

 

[Blueeyes101817]

O beth i am so sorry to hear all of this. I dont have any advice, but feel free to vent here anytime you need to.
Hang i nthere

 

[momof2minnies]

Beth,
I am sorry to hear all this.Somewhere down the line Jon will realize what he has thrown away- he may not admit it, but he will realize it.I have to say you are a better person than me, I would have NASTY all over him by now especially since he isn't putting Katie first at all.I hope that wasn't to harsh, of course I don't know him,but the situation stinks.

I hope you continue to take care of yourself and Susan's post was right on.

Take care,
Linda

 

[AmyBeth68]

HUGS Beth....I'm worried about you, I hope you are doing ok under the circumstances. You are a strong woman, and have come through some dark times, just keep your head up as much as you can considering everything and try to find support in friends and family. You and Katie are lucky to have one another...you will give strength to one another through the difficult times. Just know that we are thinking of you here .

 

[toystoryduo]

, , and more Beth,

I am so sorry for what you are going through. Please know that we are here for you.

 

[postesf]

Oh Beth! I am so sorry! This is a very difficult sitation, and I'm sure it will be for a while, but you will make it through. I know Jon has made a horrible decision. I know far too many people that thought the grass was greener on the other side only to find out it was not. Now they have many regrets and cannot change it. (Although it seems the ex-spouses are all doing well and living happy lives...) I know you will make it through and will find happiness.

I know will find the strength to get through this and stick to your healthy goals. Taking care of yourself and Katie are the most important things in your life right now. I don't know you or your family, but I must say that it really upsets me that Jon is being so selfish right now. The sitation is very difficult and it doesn't seem he is putting Katie first. How He deals with this with her will affect their relationship for the rest of their lives so I hope he realizes this. I hope that didn't seem to personal, but it just really touches my heart.

Don't give up on your healthy goals. I wish you and Katie the best as you deal with this. Anytime you need to vent, we are here for you!

I hope managed through your weekend ok!



Stacie

 

[MIdanceMom]

Hello everyone,

I am doing a bit better. It was hard pretending for Katie that everything was okay. Now that we can talk openly, I seem to be a bit more under control. It also helps that I am focused on her right now.

Today was hard. I put away the Christmas tree. We have always bought ornaments on trips and happy occasions. It was hard putting those away. After, I took the puppy on a long walk. That really helped. I am going to keep up with my exercise. I need the release, and it helps with my depression. I need to stay healthy not only for myself, but for Kate.

I think Jon will move out this weekend. He has agreed to stay in the area for at least six months. He need to help his daughter adjust to the changes in her life. So far, he is on board with that. Kate is doing okay. She doesn't want to leave my side, and that worries me. It was good that she had dance today. I saw her relax for the first time since Friday.

Well, I am tired. I am headed to bed.

Take care,
Beth

 

[larry's girl]

Hi, Beth. I have to tell you right off the bat, I am SO PROUD of you for using exercise as a way to deal with the incredible stress you are under instead of eating junk food. That takes INCREDIBLE willpower and I am SO IMPRESSED with your strength. You are an AWESOME mom and one day your daughter will realize how lucky she is to have you. Ensuring you are healthy is one of the best things you can do for her, as you already know, so FEEL GOOD about doing that!

I don't claim to be an expert in these things, but I would guess that she is sticking close to you because a lot of change and upheaval has happened very quickly and she just needs the security of being by your side. It takes time to process major stuff like that, particularly for kids, so I think if you just keep doing what you're doing, she will come out okay in the end. Not to say that it won't be difficult for her, but at some point she will come to realize that you will always be there for her no matter what course her dad chooses.

I hope you have a good day today and that each day gets a little easier. KEEP MAKING THE GOOD CHOICES - YOU ARE DOING GREAT!!!

Susan

 

[toystoryduo]

Beth,

Sweetie, I am so sorry for all that you are going through right now. Please be sure and take good care of you during this difficult time.

 

[Blueeyes101817]

Beth-Hang in there my friend--you seem to be handling this well, and i am proud of you! Take care of yourself--good idea to keep exercising!

 

[postesf]

Hi Beth. Just checking in to see how you are Kate are doing. I'm happy to hear that Jon decided to stick around for a while to help Kate during this adjustment period.

I hope this weekend wasn't too difficult for you. Stay strong. We are thinking of you!

Stacie

 

[kimwim8]

Stay strong, my friend. We are ALWAYS here for you to vent, cry, whine, complain - whatever!!

I agree that Kate is extremely lucky to have you. You girls are a good team! I also believe that Jon will realize his loss. Maybe not soon - but he will.

You're always in my thoughts and prayers. Take care and shower that daughter with all of the love and affection you have.

 

[toystoryduo]

Just wanted to send a gentle your way and to let you know that I'm praying for you, Beth. Take good care of you!

 

[MIdanceMom]

Hi everyone,

I am sorry that I haven't been around. Things have been a bit crazy. I should be able to make the rounds of journals sometime today.

Jon moves out on Friday. We decided that it was just too painful to remain in the same house. He continues to chat with the woman from Columbus. Kate is still doing ok, but having nightmares. I expect things to escalate when Daddy moves out. The result of the nightmares is that I am getting little sleep.

I have been exercising daily for stress relief. Actually, I've been overdoing it. Today is a rest day. I have aches in my knees and hips. I have done a ton of emotional eating, so my weight is up significantly. I need to get it under control, or I will undo all my hard work.

Today I am working on laundry and cleaning the house. I have let it slide for way too long. I also have a meeting with a lawyer today. I am not looking forward to this.

Okay, I must dash.

Take care,
Beth

 

[postesf]

Hi Beth. My heart goes out to you and Kate. So sorry to hear about the nightmares!

Great job w/ your exercising!

Stacie