Best way to handle new sitter (1yrold)

[inloveindisney]

Whenever I take my 14 month old to the new sitter, she cries-a lot. and this is not just when I leave. The sitter says that she plays for a while and is fine, then she realizes I'm gone again and she will cry again. I tell her goodbye and kiss her before I leave-all that.
We are doing one hour increments over several days to get her to realize that I will actually come back and it seems to be helping.
I also notice that she seems sort of stressed around a lot of kids-especially if they're loud. She's an only child and things are typically quiet at our house, so I can understand why. I have to admit that I get stressed when I am in similar situations, so she may be picking up cues from me or maybe it's an inherited thing too.
Any thoughts on how I can handle either of these situations? She's great if she's in a room with one or two kids or even just by herself with another adult, but when she's with several kids, she just doesn't do well. This is true even when I'm around.

 

[CastleCreations]

It's a huge adjustment period for you and her. Right now she's still in the attachment phase, and sadly that will continue for quite a while. I would give it time. You're doing the right thing by bringing her for short periods of time. Hopefully the sitter doesn't fall into the trap of continually saying..Mommy will be back soon...it will just remind her that you're gone. If the sitter is loving and friendly towards her, it will just take some time for them to form their own relationship and for your daughter to trust her. Be happy that she deems you so valuable that she doesn't want you out of her sight.. that means you've done something right..LOL.
Try not to worry...and give it some time...

 

[Narnia]

My DD does that even with her dad. I'm 100% sure it's from not leaving her enough. My boys all took to sitters like crazy. My dd will cry at the door at my sisters house. I think that as long as she stops then starts again it's no big deal. You should take her to parks and drop in centers so she gets used to other kids. Sharing, being friendly is learned. She'd get lots out of a play land.

 

[jewelshouse]

My DD does that even with her dad. I'm 100% sure it's from not leaving her enough. My boys all took to sitters like crazy. My dd will cry at the door at my sisters house. I think that as long as she stops then starts again it's no big deal. You should take her to parks and drop in centers so she gets used to other kids. Sharing, being friendly is learned. She'd get lots out of a play land.

Mine did that too, with DH, my sisters, my mom everyone. I'm a stay at home mom and hardly ever left her unless I had to and when I did leave her man it was a pain. Talk about torture, for me not her, but she will eventually grow out of this phase. Just keep up what you are doing and she will get used to it . . . eventually.

 

[inloveindisney]

well, I guess the reaassurance of knowing I'm holding up the mom end of the deal ok, makes me feel better. Ugh. I can tell it's going to be a long process!
Another idea I had was to "borrow" some of the kids from the day care (I know all their parents) to come to our house for a few hours. Maybe she'll get used to them if they're in her own territory for a change. We'll see how that goes. Thanks for the replies!

 

[katied]

DSister starting leaving DNiece at day care 1 day per week at about 11 months. It was a big adjustment for DNiece, and DNiece had serious separation/stranger anxiety. DNiece would cry to start with the entire time Dsister was gone (up to 2 hrs!). Dniece did adjust though - and now, at 25 months, she is so much better. She actually gets excited about going to day care (still only 1 day/week, but a full 10 - 12 hr day). She also does just fine if I watch her (and as I live in IL and DNiece lives in CA, she does not see me more than 4 times/year). She'll now maybe cry for a minute, or just look sad, but quickly adjusts to being without Mommy. So - I guess this is a long way of saying some kids take a while to adjust.

DS, btw, does not know what a stranger is. He happily goes from person to person, and I actually feel a little sad he's not upset to be without Mommy (crazy, I know).