Best friend had a severe stroke. Can you offer encouragement? Please?

[Hisgirl]

I'm a believer in all things unexplainable. I have a very big Father God.

I've read all the bad news. And it really isn't too encouraging.

Can someone offer hope through the testimony of a loved one recovering? I visited my dear friend and she was alert and energetic but she spoke in a language known only to her. She talked and talked but it was odd random words. She called me 'Toys!" She had a severe stroke last Wednesday, brought on by an artery blow out (congenital defect unknownst to anyone) and had a massive bleed on the brain's right side.

For the last ten years, she is the one I call to chat and tell the daily news. We ride to the grocery store together just to hang out. I miss my friend.

 

[Lorelei Lee]

Prayers for your friend.

My mom had a bad stroke in her 50's, and made an almost full recovery. Took awhile, but the worst she was left with afterwards was weakness on her left side.

My mom's stroke didn't affect her language, but I had an acquaintance who had a stroke that took away his ability to talk. Spent months in a rehab center. He still has some cognitive deficits and cannot work anymore, but he's able to go about his life for the most part, you wouldn't know about the stroke unless he told you.

There are no guarantees, but there is hope your friend will have a significant recovery.

 

[EMom]

Several years ago, an elderly relative had a massive stroke centered in her brain stem. We were basically told to say our goodbyes. I got the news and was bawling my eyes out in a parking lot, figuring NO ONE comes back from a stroke to the brain stem.

To our amazement, she made a full recovery. The doctors were just as stunned. It does happen, so maybe your friend will see better days soon.

 

[PrincessJo]

While I have had experiences with other illnesses in my lifetime, I've never had to deal with the outcome of a stroke.

I just wanted to write and offer you a

Prayers to you and your friend...

 

[SLP958]

Did your friend seem to understand what you were saying to her?

Look up Wernicke's aphasia.

Does that seem to fit her?

Speech Language Pathologists can be of great help!

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

I'm a believer in all things unexplainable. I have a very big Father God.
I've read all the bad news. And it really isn't too encouraging.
Can someone offer hope through the testimony of a loved one recovering? I visited my dear friend and she was alert and energetic but she spoke in a language known only to her. She talked and talked but it was odd random words. She called me 'Toys!" She had a severe stroke last Wednesday, brought on by an artery blow out (congenital defect unknownst to anyone) and had a massive bleed on the brain's right side.
For the last ten years, she is the one I call to chat and tell the daily news. We ride to the grocery store together just to hang out. I miss my friend.

Well given the type of problem she had, just the fact that she's still not only alive, but alert going on her 5th day is a very good sign. Hope everything goes well.

 

[Arielle22]

My MIL had a massive stroke in 2000. Doctor talked about cutting out part of her skull to relieve pressure. Luckily that didn't happen and she survived.

She spent time in a rehab and couldn't live on her own anymore. She lived in an Assisted Living facility for two years. During that time she travelled with us to Disney and to Hershey, PA. She also went to my sister's wedding and danced. You would not know she had been so ill.

 

[barkley]

I had 2 strokes in my early 40's. neither were massive but initialy I did lose hearing and peripheral vision on one side, balance, had weakness on one side, could not read and suffered from aphasia (what your friend is going through).

a person can recover a great deal-with aphasia it can sometimes clear up on it's own, if not speech therapy is tremendously helpful. I speak well now unless I'm overly tired or have a migraine (then my words slur or I talk in what I call 'stroke speak'). same with the weakness, most days I'm great but others it's noticeable.

over time most of my hearing came back, peripheral vision is still gone. I can read (not as fast as I used to). memory is spotty-some stuff I remember better than before, others (short term) can be off. strangest effect is I can do complex math but not simple (subtraction drives me mad), I can type much faster but as you can see it's without appropriate capitalization.

love and support your friend. she's likely scared and frustrated (she knows what she wants to say, thinks she's saying it-brain is reading it as some other word and at this point she may not even be hearing that she's saying the words wrong). so much can improve with time.

prayers to you and your friend.

 

[stm61]

my father had a massive stroke, they didn't expect him to live through the night so they kept him in the emergency room. He surprised everyone and was moved to a room the next day. His speech was not affected. His peripheral vision and balance were, but eventually he was still able to drive and do almost everything else he did before the stroke. He was forced into a medical retirement, but he had 40 years towards a pension. If he'd had an office job he could have gone back to work, but he worked in a factory.

 

[Elleshoodat]

I'm a believer in all things unexplainable. I have a very big Father God. I've read all the bad news. And it really isn't too encouraging. Can someone offer hope through the testimony of a loved one recovering? I visited my dear friend and she was alert and energetic but she spoke in a language known only to her. She talked and talked but it was odd random words. She called me 'Toys!" She had a severe stroke last Wednesday, brought on by an artery blow out (congenital defect unknownst to anyone) and had a massive bleed on the brain's right side. For the last ten years, she is the one I call to chat and tell the daily news. We ride to the grocery store together just to hang out. I miss my friend.

One of my dear friends had a stroke the day before Halloween. She is 31. For two weeks, she was in a medically induced coma. Upon being taken off sedation, she didn't wake up for several days. We were all preparing ourselves to say goodbye (as much as you can prepare for something like that, anyway) when she woke up.

She is now in the hospital's rehab center, undergoes six hours of rehab daily (speech, physical and occupational) and is making progress at an alarming rate. She can't speak yet (her vocal cords are weak after not speaking for so long, plus she had a feeding tube down her throat), but she can once again feed herself, dress herself and walk. Her recovery thus far has been miraculous -- she's come farther than her doctors thought she ever would, and in such a short amount of time. She still has a long way to go, but I thank God every day that she's still with us.

I completely understand how it feels to "miss" someone who has suffered a stroke. Try not to feel guilty about it. *hugs*

 

[Hisgirl]

I had 2 strokes in my early 40's. neither were massive but initialy I did lose hearing and peripheral vision on one side, balance, had weakness on one side, could not read and suffered from aphasia (what your friend is going through).

a person can recover a great deal-with aphasia it can sometimes clear up on it's own, if not speech therapy is tremendously helpful. I speak well now unless I'm overly tired or have a migraine (then my words slur or I talk in what I call 'stroke speak'). same with the weakness, most days I'm great but others it's noticeable.

over time most of my hearing came back, peripheral vision is still gone. I can read (not as fast as I used to). memory is spotty-some stuff I remember better than before, others (short term) can be off. strangest effect is I can do complex math but not simple (subtraction drives me mad), I can type much faster but as you can see it's without appropriate capitalization.

love and support your friend. she's likely scared and frustrated (she knows what she wants to say, thinks she's saying it-brain is reading it as some other word and at this point she may not even be hearing that she's saying the words wrong). so much can improve with time.

prayers to you and your friend.

This. Right here. This is what I wanted to know. I would love to speak with you a little more to better understand how to relate to her. Her husband called me last night and is exhausted. He asked if I, along with the other gals who consider her a spiritual mom, could begin coming in the morning to sit with her, so he can walk their dog and take care of home things a bit. I was so stunned at the visit Sunday night, that I'm not sure what to say when she talks random words. If you would be willing to have a conversation with me to help explain about that, honestly, I would be forever grateful. I will send you my cell. If not, it's ok, I know we're all super busy right now with the holidays and just life. Regardless, thank you so much!!

 

[SnowWtch]

My father has had 2 strokes and a fall that left him stuck in the bathtub for several hours in the past year. We thought he wouldn't make it but he's just starting to get things together. My father will never be the same again but he's walking fairly well and his speech pattern is better. He was forced to retire but at least he's still here. Just be patient and be there encouraging your friend. It may never be a complete recovery to what you remember but it is possible to pull through.

 

[wiigirl]

Prayers

 

[KiKi Mouse]

Hugs to you and your friend and her family.

 

[lisaviolet]

to you and to her and her family. And to friendship.

My uncle has almost fully recovered and is 83. Recovered so well that he has gone back to cooking Thanksgiving for all of us - 25 of us. And loves it. But I don't know how severe his stroke/strokes would be labelled. I do know that they didn't know if he would get mobility and some speech back and he has. And just returned from Florida, driving the 21 hours both ways himself. Driving was something that they were unsure if he would be able to ever do again.

Best wishes sent to you and them. I'm happy that her husband has reached out for help, knowing that he can't keep up his schedule without cracking. That's a good sign. I wish that women did this more - asking for help.

 

[Darcy03231]

DH's ex-wife had a major stroke in her mid-fifties as a result of a congenital defect.

She was in a coma for over a month and her outlook was not good. Over 50% of the people that had the kind of stroke she had don't survive and of the ones that do survive 92% of them are in some type of a vegetative state. Of the 8% that retain cognitive function, most of them are still severely impacted with only 2% of those people becoming functional.

While she'll never be the same and it was a long road (over 2 years), she has made a wonderful recovery. She has some residual paralysis on her right side and both some long and short term memory issues, but if you didn't know her before you might not even realize that she had a stroke.

 

[pigletgirl]

Prayers for your friend, OP.

 

[colbyn]

My mom had a major stroke 5 years ago. She was 76 at the time of the stroke. Very active up until then, so we thought for sure she would do anything to recover. She went to OT/PT and speech for a while, but decided that was not what she wanted. She does not walk and has trouble talking. But she has a good life. I felt the same way as you. I had lost my best friend. We used to talk on the phone at least once a day. We still go shopping and act silly. Just not on a daily basis. I miss picking up the phone and talking to her.

If your friend it determined to get better, she can. It will take hard work on her part. Put I have heard of people that have had major strokes recover. There are books on the subject that may help you understand what she is going through. With your support and understanding she can recover. Your friend is there you just have to use a different route to find her. With my mom, we never ask a question without giving her multiple choice.
What do you want to drink, diet coke or root beer. My prayers are with you. I pray to God everyday to give me patience, strength and understanding.

 

[lurkernj]

My dh had a stroke 3.5 years ago. He was completely paralyzed on his right side. His speech was only affected the first couple of days due to facial droop. He was in he hospital for over three weeks undergoing intense therapy daily for 6 hrs, then outpatient therapy for the next 6 months for 3 days a week. He also did a lot on his own once he came home. His determination and hard work paid off as the only physical issue is in his ankle muscle, he walks with a slight limp. There are some not so noticeable neuro issues that only people close to him can pick up on. It really was an incredible amount of work and I can see how some people might give up trying.

It was very frustrating for him and he wasn't very pleasant to be around during the first 6 months, so be patient. While she is unable to talk, can you read to her, maybe the newspaper or a magazine. We bought a tv series and watched it on our portable DVD player with my husband whenever the kids were with me, cause he just wasn't himself and didn't want to talk much(even though he could talk he had difficulty finding the words he wanted to say) it made the visits in front of the kids more "normal".

 

[sager1969]

My best friend's dad had a stroke that impacted his speech. This man was my second dad and like a grandfather to my son. At first it was really challenging to understand him. I was able to go visit him at the rehab center almost every morning. The best thing you can do is treat them as close as possible to the way you did before stroke. His granddaughter and I were able to understand him fairly quickly. We referred to it asking speaking Grumpanese. We call him Grumpy instead of Grandpa.

He has come back fairly well. He still has some speech issues. He mostly confuses words. In the beginning he was frustrated and just wanted people to treat him the same. I believe he is very coherent and understands everything. He just many not use the right words. I always tried to have the same conversation with him. I would have before his stroke. I would talk about the things he loved like photography, the grandkids, and fishing.

I am so sorry that you and your friend are going through this. I can't imagine how it would be to "lose" my BFF for a a little while. Prayers and pixie dust to all of you.