Best advice for first month on one income only

[englishteacha]

I agree that Financial Peace University is a good program. We've been debt free except our house since we were 25. It's nice to look at our college diplomas and know that our educations are completely paid off!

 

[mrsklamc]

No one is saying the girls are horrible for expecting cars when you state you had set up that expectation for them. But, if the budget is tight, it may be time to sit them down and explain that your situation has changed.

Budgeting is all about priorities. If it's truly important to you it may be possible even on a limited budget. BUT revamping the budget is about looking at each expense and deciding what's truly necessary and what isn't.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

No one is saying the girls are horrible for expecting cars when you state you had set up that expectation for them. But, if the budget is tight, it may be time to sit them down and explain that your situation has changed.

Budgeting is all about priorities. If it's truly important to you it may be possible even on a limited budget. BUT revamping the budget is about looking at each expense and deciding what's truly necessary and what isn't.

OH, I know. That didn't even enter my mind. They only know and expect what they are told. I tried to have a talk with them when I first left work, it didn't go well. But that's in the past....
We are going to have readjust, but since it's my fault that I am not working I want to be the one who bears the brunt of the financial burden. I don't want my family to suffer because of me. It's my job to revamp the budget and I really appreciate the advice. It's going to be a challenge, but I am going to keep working on it. Hopefully with the help and support from you guys, I won't have such a hard time. As far as getting Hannah a car, we have a year to figure it out. Things might be better or worse. I seriously doubt I will have been approved for disability by then. I'm trying to be smart and think ahead and much as I can. This has been a real wake up call for me. I just hate letting my family down.

 

[crisi]

No one is saying the girls are horrible for expecting cars when you state you had set up that expectation for them. But, if the budget is tight, it may be time to sit them down and explain that your situation has changed.

Budgeting is all about priorities. If it's truly important to you it may be possible even on a limited budget. BUT revamping the budget is about looking at each expense and deciding what's truly necessary and what isn't.

And its a good lesson - "mom got hurt (sick, whatever) and we are all going to need to make sacrifices." Its what families do and it teaches your kids about financial responsibility.

But maybe you don't need to do that. Maybe a month in you'll be able to trim your salary from your budget and keep the same standard of living with the same level of financial responsibility. I suspect if you thought that was the case, you wouldn't be checking out Dave Ramsey or asking this board for advice.

 

[lesrose]

Do you use coupons?

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

And its a good lesson - "mom got hurt (sick, whatever) and we are all going to need to make sacrifices." Its what families do and it teaches your kids about financial responsibility.

But maybe you don't need to do that. Maybe a month in you'll be able to trim your salary from your budget and keep the same standard of living with the same level of financial responsibility. I suspect if you thought that was the case, you wouldn't be checking out Dave Ramsey or asking this board for advice.

Honestly, I don't know how the first month on one income will be. According to our budget, we have enough to pay bills and eat. I still believe I will need to find places to cut corners. And you are right, if I was comfortable with the one income situation, I wouldn't be on here. I, in the past, didn't account for any spending other than bills and mortgage. Now it's time for me to look into previous spending habits, see what I did right, see what I did wrong and adjust from there. Wish me luck!

 

[crisi]

Honestly, I don't know how the first month on one income will be. According to our budget, we have enough to pay bills and eat. I still believe I will need to find places to cut corners. And you are right, if I was comfortable with the one income situation, I wouldn't be on here. I, in the past, didn't account for any spending other than bills and mortgage. Now it's time for me to look into previous spending habits, see what I did right, see what I did wrong and adjust from there. Wish me luck!

Best of luck!

I have no idea why you are on disability, but the thought that its "your fault you aren't working" smacks a little of blame the victim to me. Unless you intentionally set out to get disabled so you could sit on the couch and eat bon-bons, I doubt you are at fault. Don't let your kid's play the guilt card - save that for your own hand for when you have grandchildren.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

Best of luck!

I have no idea why you are on disability, but the thought that its "your fault you aren't working" smacks a little of blame the victim to me. Unless you intentionally set out to get disabled so you could sit on the couch and eat bon-bons, I doubt you are at fault. Don't let your kid's play the guilt card - save that for your own hand for when you have grandchildren.

It's been diffucult to convince some that what I have is a read illness, though the SSA recognizes it. For kids, it really is hard to grasp. Heck, even for me, the guilt creeps up because I can walk and talk and shouldn't I be working? But I can't. No scam or intention to end up being unable to work at the age of 37. I'm scared, I feel like I'm letting my family down.

 

[crisi]

It's been diffucult to convince some that what I have is a read illness, though the SSA recognizes it. For kids, it really is hard to grasp. Heck, even for me, the guilt creeps up because I can walk and talk and shouldn't I be working? But I can't. No scam or intention to end up being unable to work at the age of 37. I'm scared, I feel like I'm letting my family down.

That's understandable.

I suffer from depression and anxiety - I have some idea of what its like to be able to walk and talk, but be unable to function (I can medicate myself to normal though - then leave the meds and be fine for years at a time before suddenly - bam! - not functional) - and feel guilty because you can't function (which in my case, of course, makes the whole situation worse - nothing like feeling depressed AND useless).

Make sure you have adequate support - both family and mental health professionals - its a big change you are facing.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

That's understandable.

I suffer from depression and anxiety - I have some idea of what its like to be able to walk and talk, but be unable to function (I can medicate myself to normal though - then leave the meds and be fine for years at a time before suddenly - bam! - not functional) - and feel guilty because you can't function (which in my case, of course, makes the whole situation worse - nothing like feeling depressed AND useless).

Make sure you have adequate support - both family and mental health professionals - its a big change you are facing.

I have suffered from those things for years. I reached a point that was so dark I knew I would wind up in the hospital very soon. And like you mention, when you feel guilty and anxious, it just snowballs. I had a director at my place of employement to leave my illness at the door. I felt like I had been slapped. I mean, if I had control when to turn depression, anxiety and panic attacks off, I would turn them off and never turn them on again. That was pretty much the last straw...but there were other things that were majorly exacerbating things. I could not go on.

 

[Jitzy]

Hey! I think you are doing a great thing by coming here and getting started on your budget. The best of luck to you.

As you have time to play with the numbers and see what works for your family, I would just put off the car issue for now. No need to worry about that for a while! Although it is great to plan, there is no need for worry!

I don't think that it is wrong to pay for a teenager's car. We paid for our older son's car, which we bought new. We pay for his insurance and we still give him a fifty dollar a month allowance. Many will not agree with this, sometimes we wonder about our sanity as well! But, he goes to an out-of-zone school for an academic program ~ no transportation ~ plus, he plays varsity baseball~ in Florida ~ they play ALL year. He also has a job, but in the spring, he can only work Saturday nights. In our county, High School releases at 3:45, which is late, but it leaves little time for work and baseball because of the state rules about how late kids can work. He is VERY FORTUNATE to have a job. (Being willing to work Saturday nights helps! Fast food bosses love that!)

Do we teach him about money? Yes. Today, I talked to him about a bill we had had with 0% interest. We talked about minimum payments, how long it would take to pay the bill etc. if we hadn't paid it off by the due date.

Are we getting through to him? He hasn't touched his allowance in over 6 months. He saved 40% of his earnings last year. I know it is subsidized by us, but he is learning how to stretch his 70 dollar bi-weekly paycheck. He goes nowhere ( movies, mall ) and spends money on nothing except for gas. (2.84 a gallon) We tease him about having a girlfriend, but he says he can't afford it! (How he will pay for prom for him and his date is beyond me! Savings, I'm sure. He hasn't asked us for money.) He also volunteered to pay for part of his summer baseball fee! He wants to work to pay for it and I am so touched by his willingness to do that! (Only three more weeks of spring baseball)

Sorry to ramble, but I just wanted to point out that just because a child is given something, doesn't necessarily mean they don't appreciate it or value it. If you guys plan and find you have the money for the car after you have paid the bills and saved for retirement, then you can do what's best for Your family with Your money.

 

[Nandid]

I know how you feel. Three years ago my family were in the same boat as you we went from a two income household to a one income household. To make matters worse we had a brand new baby. My joy of having a new baby was shot down by being diagnosed with an extremely disabling condition.

We struggled really hard the first month. We took all the donations and stuff we could get. We turned to the local food bank, GoodWill and any where else we could get help.

I became an avid ebayer. If we didn't need something, it got sold and the proceeds were turned around into clothing for the kids. At the time we had four children at home.

We dropped our full coverage on our autos and went with libility only. We didn't eat out for months. It took me seven months to get approved for SSDI but in the mean time we struggled every month to make things work.

Our kids are older and we have two teens driving now. We told our girls if you want to drive than you need to have jobs and pay for your insurance and your gas. Also told the kids we don't shop at fancy stores if you can't be happy with clothes from Walmart and Target or hit sales at other places than you have to buy them yourselves.

Over the years we have been able to save for family vacations again. We use to be a family who took extravagent trips a couple times a year. We are going on one trip this year but it has taken alot of penny pinching and two years of saving everything we could.

Everything always works out. I know how you can fall into the rut of blaming yourself. I've been there.

Havefaith everything will work out in the end.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

You guys have been so supportive! I'm going to follow Jitzy's advice about not worrying about the car until later. It's a year away, things could change.
Today is our first payday with only one check (i got a small one from the last hours I worked, it's only $400, but it's better than nothing). Ok, so I'll pay bills first. I just need to figure out a schedule for the month.

Thanks everyone, it's nice to have support!

 

[DCLbrideSept2009]

And my family is not by any means struggling or unable to afford a car -- it was just not in their parenting plan!

We have told our kids, I don't care if we win the lottery tomorrow, we are NOT buying you a car when you turn 16!! However, we WILL match whatever they save.

I worked and bought my own car when I was 17 (just borrowed mom's car whenever possible before then). I remember WALKING to work when necessary (and it wasn't really close, at least a mile or so each way) or bumming rides from friends. Heck, I even had a friend take me to work on her moped a few times! Then when I was about 17 I had saved enough to buy a car. I ended up buying my parents' car FROM them. This was in 1986 and it was a 1979 Chevy Monte Carlo. Not my ideal car, but it was A CAR. I *NEEDED* a car my senior year because I was on the work program (early release to go to work). I NEVER expected my parents to buy me a car. I never expected anything from them, really. I paid for my own gas, my own clothes, etc. They did pay for my insurance but that's because I paid for EVERYTHING else and I could only make so much money still being in high school. They didn't even give me lunch money or anything my senior year.

 

[ceecee]

Call your accountant and see if your DH's with holding needs to be adjusted.

Is it really called STD in your state? What an unfortunate name.

Really! I thought she was getting disability for an STD! Had to re-read that one.

 

[IleneF]

After adjusting heat, cable, internet and extra spending, I think the next best way to affect outgoing expenses is the food budget. We are still working on that. I use coupons when I can and shop at the local discount grocery store (Price Rite) carefully. I've become very aware of prices and which stores regularly discount certain items. There is also a fantastic web page that has a coupon database (free to use) that you can search for coupons available for a specific item...ie: Heinz Ketchup. Many times you can print out the coupon. It's available here at the $5 dinner site:
http://www.5dollardinners.com/strategies/coupon-database

Also Mary Hunts books are great and make a lot of sense. Our problem is there is just not enough income to even meet the barest expenses right now. So I pay my mortgage/taxes and use savings for most everything else (screwed when this runs out). I was prepared for cutting some things that made us less comfortable, I was NOT prepared for how isolating it all is. Your friends go out to a movie ..you can't go. Your friends go out to dinner...you can't go. Your friends go shopping..you can go but it's not much fun knowing you can't buy ANYTHING and what if they stop to eat out. UGH, I'm really hating this, especially after working hard at a FT job all week, sometimes you'd just like to go get an ice cream with your daughter...nope can't!

Hope...it's what keeps me going right now

 

[crisi]

There are a lot of things you can do to save money, but they take work. And if you are depressed, getting them done can be a battle. Take it in easy steps and do the things that make you feel rewarded when you finish them.

For me, I wouldn't invest in a clothes line. I know that the discipline of drying clothes with I am depressed is beyond me. And then the failure sets me up for being more depressed.

But I like to bake bread, which is another frugal thing. The tactalness of it, getting out aggression by kneading, the smell, and the loaf when it comes out of the oven are all things that leave me satisfied, and something I can pull off when I'm depressed.

I know people who love to garden and find that to be theraputic. And a vegetable garden is a very frugal thing. Not for me - though I can get satisfaction for some zucchini and a few tomato plants - that's easy enough for me to pull off.

So target your frugality efforts to the things you can be successful on. Note those successes and how they make you feel (this is part of cognative behavioral therapy by the way) and built on them. But don't set yourself up for failure by trying too much off the bat or committing to do something that is going to make you feel worse.

 

[hffmnheidi]

A vegetable garden will also save you cash this summer and through the winter because you can freeze a lot of produce.

Peppers, Squash, Zuccinni, Green Beans, Corn, Onions, and Carrots can all be grown and frozen for winter meals. You can spend about 20 dollars or less on plants and seeds and get so much more of a return this winter when you don't have to buy vegetables. If you don't want a large garden, you can grow these in flower pots on a deck or patio.

Wait until you HAVE to turn on your A/C to save on your energy bills. Sometimes a fresh breeze in the house can cheer you right up.

I'm in the same boat right now, not working because of a medical issue, but I go in on Friday, April 30th for the last surgery and will spend 2 more months recovering. I haven't worked since last October and it sucks big time. Just hang in there, it will get better.

 

[tinkmom2]

My heart goes out to you. We have gone through some rough patches too and here are some ideas. I know a few of them have already been mentioned. SSDI is very hard to get my Mom had to sue SSDI to get it. She had heart surgery and was deemed unable to work by doctors. I would check for lawyers in your area. They will work for free and get a percentage of what you win from SSDI. (You get retroactive pay from when you were denied and win)

Couponing is not only fun to me but has saved me tons of money! My budget is around $100.00/4 of us. There is a Spring pantry challenge thread on here that I use every week! We have a Woodman's here which is a discount retailer and we don't need a discount card because the prices are low. Or shop at Aldis.

Not trying to be harsh but if your child wants to drive the car they have to pay for the insurance and have a job. Insurance rates are crazy.

Cut down to the basics on cable. Get a bundle for your services from AT&T. They offer rebates of up to $150.00 on a Visa check card when you join.

Switch your cell phones to tracfones. It's a prepaid wireless carrier. They offer family plans. Once you are out of minutes you are done. We pay $16.00/month for 2 phones. My DH's phone has double minutes for life.

Apply for Energy Assistance. The income guidelines here in WI changed so many middle class families who didn't quailfy for assistance now do. They might have the same thing in your area.

Many people mentioned Angel Food ministries. We have SHARE here in WI.

If things are really dire check food pantries in your area. They are there to help. You may also quallfy for State run programs. I know it's hard to ask for help but that's what these programs are for.

Turn the heat down at night. Now it's nice out we hardly use the heat and will only use the air during summer if we are very uncomfortable. I got off budget billing for the summer because my bills are so low. I use it for the really cold months. Also our gas company does an energy audit for free at your house to check for energy efficency.

When times were really hard I sold things on Ebay like collectables and gently use clothes.

Make a budget on the computer and stick to it. Track your expenses.
Good luck to you

 

[hanutedmansionmomma]

Sorry if repeat, haven't read all posts, but you could join a coupon train on this board!

I'm on one and saved $80 on groceries last week. There is a small expense, you have to mail out an envelope once/week. I always feel like groceries are the one major expense you can control.

If you're feeling the need to shop, I love to go to Savers or Goodwill. For a few dollars you could get a new shirt, book, etc...