Bereavement leave?

[tvguy]

Oh I know, I'd be a complete basket case. I remember one guy who lost his wife on a Friday & was back at work Monday. I couldn't wrap my head around it.

I know my mom only took two days off when my dad died. But decades later she said that the distraction of being at work helped her cope. But my dad had been terminally ill for over a year. His passing wasn't a shock, and he was no longer in pain.

 

[mrsstats]

My office gives nothing. We had an employee lose her husband and she had to take vacation time.

 

[nicolita3]

My office gives nothing. We had an employee lose her husband and she had to take vacation time.

Same with where I work.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I know my mom only took two days off when my dad died. But decades later she said that the distraction of being at work helped her cope. But my dad had been terminally ill for over a year. His passing wasn't a shock, and he was no longer in pain.

That was also the case with my coworker - his wife had cancer & had been sick for a long time. Still, she was a young woman & they had 2 small children

 

[barkley]

I've been retired for about 10 years so I'm trying to remember....

dh and I both worked for government agencies and were union represented (different agencies/different unions)-best I can remember was his allowed for spouse/child/sibling (in-law)/parent(in-law)/grandparent(in-law) 3 days paid leave (5 at most if verification of out of area travel was requested), with additional days as needed which would be taken from accrued leave. mine just allowed for use of accrued paid leave.

I know mine sounds cold hearted, but I think it was negotiated that way b/c while dh's employer started an employee with 2 weeks paid vacation/2 days paid float (which worked up to 3 weeks vacation by 5 years), mine started new employees with 3 weeks paid vacation/3 days paid float from day one (and some classifications received an additional 50 hours of paid time off)-this was in addition to 12 paid sick days per year. so-with my employer, since no employee could use any paid time off during their first 6 months of employment-if someone hadn't exhausted leave, they should have at least (at any given time) 120 hours of paid leave on the books (10 hours vacation/8 hours sick/2 hours float per month x 6 months).

even w/dh's employer-the time off was not meant as bereavement leave, it was funereal leave.

 

[bcla]

I know everyone is talking about mourning and coping with a loss, but the main reason most employers provide bereavement leave is practical. It's typically to handle the affairs of a deceased family ember and/or to attend funerals. It may take longer to properly mourn, but three days is typically enough to attend a funeral. Here's one policy:

http://msmintra.msm.edu/Libraries/Docs_HR/HR_Bereavement_Leave_Policy.sflb.ashx

This paid leave is for attending funerals, memorial services and for discharging responsibilities related to the death of the family member. Days of leave may be taken consecutively or divided as needed. If additional time off is needed, a supervisor may approve use of accrued vacation or time off without pay.

The federal government's Office of Personnel Management has a specific definition of why one would need bereavement leave.

http://www.opm.gov/policy-data-over...eave-for-family-care-or-bereavement-purposes/

Fact Sheet: Sick Leave for Family Care or Bereavement Purposes

Sick Leave Entitlement

An employee is entitled to use sick leave to-

• provide care for a family member who is incapacitated as a result of physical or mental illness, injury, pregnancy, or childbirth;
• attend to a family member receiving medical, dental, or optical examination or treatment;
• provide care for a family member who would, as determined by the health authorities having jurisdiction or a health care provider, jeopardize the health of others by that family member's presence in the community because of exposure to a communicable disease; or
• make arrangements necessitated by the death of a family member or attend the funeral of a family member.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Oh I know, I'd be a complete basket case. I remember one guy who lost his wife on a Friday & was back at work Monday. I couldn't wrap my head around it.

We had a man at my former company who lost his wife, my former co-worker, in a tragic accident. They played the 911 call and he knew his wife was dead. His child was also severely injured. (This was an unavoidable situation and they got struck by lightening.)

(This next part I soon the overall topic.)
Clearly 3 days wasn't enough, but the company wasn't heartless. He was able to exhaust all his personal time and then co-workers were able to donate vacation hours so that his LOA was not unpaid. FMLA would have allowed 12 weeks.

This was also done for another family who had a tragic accident.

Heck, I had gone back to work and had to leave for post partum depression. My job was held for 4 more weeks (the remainder of my FMLA). And then I was permitted a leave of absence with just a guarantee of employment and then the decision was made to not return. I think that was 3 months later--so total of 6 months off of work.

Companies can be kind, but they limit this policies because they have to when they have thousands (or hundreds or 10s) of employees. A good company will not terminate the employee because they need more time than the initial paid time. I thought it was great that my former company allowed workers to pool vacation time to assist a employee in need like that.

 

[Disney Doll]

3-5 days depending on the level of the relationship.

Bereavement isn't to allow the employee to
Cope with the grief and process the loss. It's to
allow the employee to handle the funeral arrangements.

 

[MickeySP]

4 days by contract for family, you can extend by using vac/per/sic time. Also we are allowed to donate to an extended illness bank so you can draw from that if you opted in.

 

[Asherry25]

Here's mine:

4. Five (5) days absence with pay will be allowed for a critical illness or death of a spouse, parent, child, sibling, grandchild, parent-in-law, brother/sister-in-law, grandparent or any other person whose relationship with the employee may be deemed appropriate by the Superintendent; at least one day but no more than two days for the death of first level extended family members not residing in the employee’s household.

I also get 2 personal days a year, so I suppose I could use those if I still had them. Otherwise, back to work! We are not able to use sick days for anything other than our own illness (good thing my kid is limited to being sick on only one day a year!)

 

[sam_gordon]

I know everyone is talking about mourning and coping with a loss, but the main reason most employers provide bereavement leave is practical. It's typically to handle the affairs of a deceased family ember and/or to attend funerals. It may take longer to properly mourn, but three days is typically enough to attend a funeral. Here's one policy:

That's what I was going to suggest. Everyone will take a different amount of time to mourn. But the leave is to handle the various arrangements required with a death, not necessarily to "fully mourn".

 

[Mokat76]

That's what I was going to suggest. Everyone will take a different amount of time to mourn. But the leave is to handle the various arrangements required with a death, not necessarily to "fully mourn".

This exactly. It's badly named if it's called bereavement leave because no one expects someone to have grieved the loss of a loved one and be over it in a couple of days.

 

[DebbieB]

My firm, which is fairly small, very tightly knit, and run much like a family, has a written policy of "at least five days, but longer if the person needs it." It doesn't define who the policy applies to, and it has never been remotely abused, in my opinion. Our largest shareholder goes further with a policy to "always be compassionate and remember that work can wait."

I agree that if my child or wife died, I do not know how I could possibly be back at work in three days, or a week, or even a couple weeks, and it makes me so sad to think about people who have essentially no choice but to go back to work or lose their jobs.

I don't think anyone said they had to be back to work in 3 days or lose their jobs.

 

[tennisfan]

Not sure about parents, partner or children but I know we don't get any time for grandparents not even the funeral.

One of my colleague's grandmother died last year and he had to pay the shift back that he was given off for the funeral.

 

[lauradis]

I have an annual allotment of time off. That's 10 days total. So far I have taken about 30 days off this year for travel etc. 10 where paid 20 where unpaid.

If my spouse or child died. I know my boss would want me to come back, but I don't know if I could even function after only 3 days. I would file for a mental/medical leave of absence that would give me up to 6 months to decide.

Seriously I could see me crying with puffy eyes, in a fog, and now I'm going to help plan and direct major venues. Oh that's what guest want to show up and have someone cry all over them.

 

[spacemountainmom]

In my job, we can take up to 5 days off for serious illness or bereavement. It comes out of our sick leave and we can use it for spouses, children, grandchildren, siblings, parents, grandparents, in-laws, guardian or a member of your household.

You can request additional leave at the supervisor's discretion and that also comes out of sick leave.

I currently have two months worth of sick leave banked up so I could try and take longer. I believe it would be granted.

 

[MSLRAC]

Where I work and at DH's work, you get 3 paid days off for the death of an immediate family member (mom, dad, MIL, FIL, siblings, grandparents, and children). Any additional time that you take is either unpaid or comes out of your vacation time. At DH's work, if the death occurs during one of the months that vacation is blacked out (March-July) then any additional times is unpaid.

 

[Minnesota!]

We get 3 days, as well, paid. Extending it is ok - just have to use personal or vacation time.

When my dad died...on a Wednesday...my mom took that rest of the week off, then the following week, and then was back to work 12 days later. Me, as well. I cannot imagine wanting to sit around and wallow in sorrow at home. Getting back into a routine was crucial for both of us.

 

[bcla]

In a related topic, there was a rumor at several colleges that if one's roommate committed suicide, any surviving roommate would be allowed to withdraw from classes and receive straight A's for that term. That seems to be a common myth. There was actually a movie that was premised on such a mythical policy, where some roommates try to get another roommate who might be suicidal and drive that person to kill himself.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dead_Man_on_Campus

 

[cluvsdisney]

We get 3 days for spouse, parent, sibling or child but not for any other family member. If we need/want more time off we are welcome to use sick or vacation days. If someone didn't have enough paid time off, the company would approve unpaid time.