Bereavement Gift

[sweet angel]

A co-worker's mom passed away. She is older. It was just her and her mom...one sister that lives a distance away. No other family. No pets. No church. No friends. No friendly neighbors.

They are not having a service. She is being cremated.

What can we give her? A couple people in the office are giving her cash, but I think that's kind of impersonal. Although, she has no likes or hobbies that we know of.

Any ideas? We've kind of ruled out fruit baskets, flowers, donations, etc.

 

[breezy1077]

I would make her food and take it to her.

 

[TennisGirl80]

The food idea is a good one - or maybe a gc to a good take out place so she can use it at her leisure.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

I know it sounds impersonal but gas cards and or supermarkets gift cards. I know that my mind was shot when my dad passed and I never had cash with me. Always forgot to stop at the bank. The gift cards in my purse always came in handy when I was rushed.

Also, it is very thoughtful of you for thinking of helping her.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

I also say restaurant or supermarket gift cards. When my mom passed away in August, I didn't eat for days, so food brought in would have gone to waste, since it is just me and DH, but having the cards for when I felt like eating would have been nice.

Also just being there with an open ear or just to sit with her might be nice. I really appreciated my moms friend for coming one afternoon and just sitting with me for a little while. For me that was better than anything anyone could have done.

Suzanne

 

[Frankiesmom]

I usually always send a fruit basket; 1 time I sent a wine/cheese basket. They are always really appreciated.

 

[doxdogy]

When my dad passed away in August, my boss gave me an American Express gift card. DH had to take some time off without pay and that helped to make up for the money he lost.

 

[sissybells]

I have given a few times those Willow statues from Hallmark. They have different Angel's that are very pretty.

 

[sweet angel]

I think the supermarket gift card might be the best bet so far. Don't know what's around her apartment as far as take out. Sitting with her isn't really an option because she's not really an 'open my home and heart' sort of gal. Heck, we don't even know if she drinks.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I have never heard of a bereavement gift.

Food so they do not have to cook, but a gift?

 

[sweet angel]

I used the term "gift" because I couldnt think of anything else. We're talking about a woman who is like the female version of the hermit on the hill. Not a people person. We really don't know anything about her...she doesn't really share. Just trying to do something so she knows we're thinking of her.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I used the term "gift" because I couldnt think of anything else. We're talking about a woman who is like the female version of the hermit on the hill. Not a people person. We really don't know anything about her...she doesn't really share. Just trying to do something so she knows we're thinking of her.

I asked my wife her opinion and she agreed with me. Neither of us would get her a gift other than food, though we might consider a gift certificate to a local restaurant...

 

[mickeyboat]

When my MIL died my SIL's co workers bought her a garden bench. It was a very thoughtful gesture.

Denae

 

[trip]

I would go with the cash or gift cards. Then she can use it when needed. If she is alone now, gifts of food would probably be wasted. I know when my parents passed we got so much food loads had to be thrown away.

 

[sweet angel]

Oooh, I love the garden bench idea, but she lives in an apartment building.

I have a feeling we're going to end up with some sort of gift basket or gift card.

 

[Loverly]

I think giving gifts other than food, flowers or a plant is just....strange

I can't imagine getting a gift card because a loved one died!!????

 

[sweet angel]

I agree with you, but we're trying to make it something useful for her...not just something typical. You know?

 

[MerMom60_94]

I used the term "gift" because I couldnt think of anything else. We're talking about a woman who is like the female version of the hermit on the hill. Not a people person. We really don't know anything about her...she doesn't really share. Just trying to do something so she knows we're thinking of her.

You know Sweet Angel, you're living up to your moniker by being so thoughtful and understanding. I am a very introverted / private person and I lost my Dad 6 months ago. Right now, I am days away from losing my FIL. I can tell you the feelings are there even if she doesn't wear her heart on her sleeve. I think it's sweet of you to put so much thought into how you can be there for her. I know for me, I was touched by people who sent cards to me and also, it's expensive to go through a loss / illness. I think a gift card for groceries or a cooked meal (maybe something that could be frozen for later even) is a nice gesture. Also, even though she is private she could be dying to open up to someone but not know how. When she returns I would simply let her know you are there for her and ask how she is. I'll bet it would mean a lot.

 

[Justanopinion]

send a plant

 

[HelenePA]

I have given a few times those Willow statues from Hallmark. They have different Angel's that are very pretty.

Everytime someone in my family dies my friend buys me one of these.. they are my favorite thing to collect.. but honestly I wish she wouldn't buy them for me right after the death of a loved one.. I can not look at the father / daughter one with out crying

Go with food. It was the last thing I wanted to do.. food shopping was very low on my list of priorities