Behavioral issues in children...help please

[Kim&Chris]

Thanks for the input everyone.

The child is an only child, doesn't speak more than 6-8 words, is strong as an ox, and perhaps, just a typical boy (based on what some of you have experienced). Our main concern is the bashing of his own head against things (including my sister's head).

Hopefully the doctor we've chosen will be able to help.

Again, thanks!

 

[OceanAnnie]

I would not get too deep with it, I seriously doubt it's a serious mental problem, that will require medication/therapy, he is approaching the "terrible 2's" and they call them that for a reason, I think the suggestion of re-direction is the best, when he does these things - distract him. Wait until he's past the "terrible 2's" to worry, after reading some of the replies to this post, I would be more worried than you originally started.

Very true! Lots to consider.

 

[Nikel]

Does there seem to be anything that triggers it? My ds was like that. He's mellowed out ome now that he can talk. He also has sensory issues though, so there are certain things that I can count on triggering him. He's very sensitive to noise, so sometimes crowded places flip him out. As he gets older, he's learning to cope better.

 

[Nikel]

Thanks for the input everyone.

The child is an only child, doesn't speak more than 6-8 words, is strong as an ox, and perhaps, just a typical boy (based on what some of you have experienced). Our main concern is the bashing of his own head against things (including my sister's head).

Hopefully the doctor we've chosen will be able to help.

Again, thanks!

Oh, I missed the hang banging part before. DS used to do that ALL the time. We would get worried about other people holding him sometimes for fear he's break their collarbone or something. He outgrew doing that, around 2.5-3, IIRC.

 

[claudia]

I agree. I'm SHOCKED some people would jump out and say it sounds like ADD. ADD is a brain disorder...and one thats way overdiagnosed at that...and no reputable doctor is going to diagnose ADD in a 19 month old...thats a BABY.

Actually if you re-read the posts, the majority of posters were stating that it doesn't sound like ADD. The OP stated she thought this may be the problem. ADD is not a brain disorder, it is a brain malfunction. It is a neurotransmitter deficiency. These deficiencies are treated with medication. ADD is not over diagnosed, the problem is that many people now use it as a general term for a child/adult who seems to have difficulty concentrating with absolutely no diagnosis behind the statement. To be diagnosed a person must meet certain criteria including testing done with equipment that cannot be "faked". It is a time consuming process that needs to be done by a psychologist. There are behaviors and symptoms in toddlers that have been noted to be common in children that have later been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD.

 

[sha_lyn]

ADD is not over diagnosed, the problem is that many people now use it as a general term for a child/adult who seems to have difficulty concentrating with absolutely no diagnosis behind the statement. To be diagnosed a person must meet certain criteria including testing done with equipment that cannot be "faked". It is a time consuming process that needs to be done by a psychologist.

In my personal experience it is over diagnosed because many Md's will prescribe the meds without referring the child to a psychologist/psychiatrist who will test. DS's school refused the Peds diagnosis of depression due to a family death and other stressful events. They told me they would not recommend DS to be tested (first said they didn't provide testing until I pointed out that the mother of a classmate was the psychologist who did the testing for the district). they then back pedaled and said it was easier to have an MD prescribe meds and if the meds didn't work, then they would test.
DS also had a friend who was diagnosed with turrets/OCD. Therapy was working wonders. However the mother didn't like the fact that the psychologist was encouraging the DS to build a relationship with his father, so the mother pulled him from therapy. A couple of yrs later his bad behavior returned. The mother then shopped around for a Dr that would diagnose ADD and prescribe meds because she claimed to not have the time or money to waste on testing. His behavior became must worse on meds. Instead of trying to find another diagnosis, the Dr just kept adding on and upping his meds. DS and I finally broke all ties with them because the boys behavior was so out of control. Basically he couldn't remember anything and blamed everyone around him.

 

[freckles and boo]

DS also had a friend who was diagnosed with turrets/OCD. Therapy was working wonders. However the mother didn't like the fact that the psychologist was encouraging the DS to build a relationship with his father, so the mother pulled him from therapy. A couple of yrs later his bad behavior returned. The mother then shopped around for a Dr that would diagnose ADD and prescribe meds because she claimed to not have the time or money to waste on testing. His behavior became must worse on meds. Instead of trying to find another diagnosis, the Dr just kept adding on and upping his meds. DS and I finally broke all ties with them because the boys behavior was so out of control. Basically he couldn't remember anything and blamed everyone around him.

ADHD medications CAN amplify Tourette's symptoms, especially tics. The mother should be smacked! (Not really, but you know what I mean!)

 

[Christine]

I just read a statistic last week that said that ADHD is not overdiagnosed but misdiagnosed. People are being diagnosed with it who probably DON'T have it, but too many who do have it are not receiving the diagnosis or even medical care.

 

[Kim&Chris]

I just read a statistic last week that said that ADHD is not overdiagnosed but misdiagnosed. People are being diagnosed with it who probably DON'T have it, but too many who do have it are not receiving the diagnosis or even medical care.

That's interesting. Hopefully this little guy doesn't have it, but in the event he does, at least he'll get the attention he needs early-on.

 

[claudia]

In my personal experience it is over diagnosed because many Md's will prescribe the meds without referring the child to a psychologist/psychiatrist who will test. DS's school refused the Peds diagnosis of depression due to a family death and other stressful events. They told me they would not recommend DS to be tested (first said they didn't provide testing until I pointed out that the mother of a classmate was the psychologist who did the testing for the district). they then back pedaled and said it was easier to have an MD prescribe meds and if the meds didn't work, then they would test.
.

This is why parents need to self educate when they believe that their child is having difficulties. In the case of your DS, the pediatrician should not be diagnosing depression issues, they should have recommended that you visit with a psychologist to make that diagnosis. Please never allow the school psychologist to do any testing on your child....everything will be recorded in their permanent record. If you believe your child is suffering, and who knows better than you, it is in everyone's interest to get them to the best doctor for the treatment and in the case of a possible depression that would be a psychologist. I hope that your DS is doing ok.

 

[HelenePA]

My friends little boy didn't talk til after 2, she started teaching him sign language to help him get out his toughts and feelings. I wish I would have had it for my first child who also talked VERY late. They have video's out. It actually HELPS the child to talk and does NOT make them talk later.

http://www.signingtime.com/

Maybe pick one up for her. Say you heard about it and thought it was cool.

Other than that he sounds like a normal little boy. Aren't they sweet? I love mine.. he could be the roughest lil boy around but man when he cuddles.. my heart just melts.

 

[RadioNate]

I always recommend the book 1-2-3 Magic when dealing with discipline. It has made a huge difference in our family.

Good luck!

Denae

This book was also recommended to me by our Ped when we brought up DS's issues when he was about 18 months.

 

[kellyg403]

After having a dd who was actually like your nephew, we finally at 6 got a diagnosis of Oppositional Defiance. She had previously been diagnosed with other disorders, but this strong willed dd of mine fit this diagnosis to a T.

We went to a wonderful physchologist in our area, it took 4 months to get in. I was a single mom for her first 4 years, she had an older db and ds. I was working 3 jobs with little help from family and friends and certainly little from her dad. So, in a way very much like your sis. The dr explained that early on my dd knew what my breaking point was. That she knew early on that she could get her way if she held on long enough in tantrums or headbanging or whatever acting out she chose. We went through 3 daycares because she could/would get aggressive if she didn't get attention or sometimes just because she seemed to want to. She was not very verbal even at 4. "I" wanted her to be good, felt guilty that most of our interaction revolved around "bad" behavior and oftentimes was threaten without consequences. She was a sweet girl when she wanted to be and I was tired, miserable about being terrible mother and scared to death she would never have a normal life. As she got older she knew this about me.

If your sister is handling this on her own, is tired and feeling guilty there is a good chance that she is not being consistent not because she doesn't want to but because she can't. She hopefully will be able to get time to herself to strengthen herself. Though alot of behaviors at 19 months are in the realm of normal when mom is having a difficult time handling it isn't good for either mom or ds and every step forward is 5 back on the really tired days. I agree that speaking to a dr or other health professional will not only alleviate some of the guilt she may be feeling but also help her with some parenting skills that she may need to keep things on track.

Good luck to all of you!

Kelly

 

[LindsayDunn228]

No advice about the child but urge you to help find the cat a better home, one where it is not being hit or kicked.

 

[Kim&Chris]

No advice about the child but urge you to help find the cat a better home, one where it is not being hit or kicked.

Yes, I agree & have been working on this! Thanks.

 

[Snoopymom]

Kind of rare and probably hard to detect at such a young age, but ds has Temporal Lobe Epilepsy...seizures that happen in the part of the brain that controls impulses, behavior, moods, emotions, etc. It's often misdiagnosed as ADHD. Ds is 7, but he was exactly as you described at 2. After years of psychologists and beating ourselves up, it was finally suggested we visit a neurologist who dedected the abnormality in an EEG. Injury or a tumor in the temporal lobe can cause this type of behavior also. I know it sounds extreme, but I would have given everything I own for this info 5 yrs sooner.

I reread your post and with those type of melt downs, I just have to say I would suggest they see a neurologist. What could it hurt? I'll send you a pm with my email if you'd like.
Hugs,
Cindy

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Yes, I agree & have been working on this! Thanks.

So glad to hear!!!