Behavior Challenge Thread

[GraceLuvsWDW]

Withdrew dd from school. I feel much better now!

I consulted with the director of the new private school and she was very understanding of the issues at hand. I told her I was afraid dd might not be on grade level in reading or writing. She told me they would have someone working with her one on one to get her up to speed.

She will have 8 kids in her class. This is a much better placement for her and I am relieved. Don't know if it's worth it to continue the battle with the school, if I did win the eligibility I don't think I would move her back to that school.

I did consult with the advocate today and she stated I was in "no mans land". That she could fight for me and probably could get eligibility through OHI due to Anxiety, encepalophathy, and ADHD but I would continue to be dealing with a school that is less than compliant.

They probably did a little dance after I withdrew her , they were tired of dealing with me. I don't think this is a failure-I pushed the fight as much as I could and when I realized they were not going to budge short of a lawsuit I did what is right for dd.

DD is ECSTATIC she doesn't have to go back to that school. Luckily, this private school's first day is tomorrow so she's starting fresh with every other student and hasn't missed anything. We rushed out to get uniforms today.

I feel like a GIANT weight has been lifted. HOORAY.

 

[Kat77]

Good for you! You did what you felt you had to do and that is all that matters. Time to move on.
New school, new start! The class size sounds awesome.

 

[C&G'sMama]

AWESOME!!!

You're right it's not giving up. As parents we do what we need to do and we decide when it's time to pursue a new path.

I don't think we've mentioned it on here but we (koolaidmoms and I) are very seriously considering pulling DD out of school to home school. We are letting her go back next week but we told her if things don't improve we're going to home school. And the thing is, we like the school, we're just not sure it's the right thing for her. DS will stay in school for now. We'll see, she's not thrilled but she also can't give us any good reasons for staying in school.

Good luck to you daughter tomorrow. That's great that you could get her in so quickly!

-A

 

[kirstenb1]

Grace, I know this decision has been building for a long time. You guys really deserve a break, and I hope this is it!!!!

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

AWESOME!!!

You're right it's not giving up. As parents we do what we need to do and we decide when it's time to pursue a new path.

I don't think we've mentioned it on here but we (koolaidmoms and I) are very seriously considering pulling DD out of school to home school. We are letting her go back next week but we told her if things don't improve we're going to home school. And the thing is, we like the school, we're just not sure it's the right thing for her. DS will stay in school for now. We'll see, she's not thrilled but she also can't give us any good reasons for staying in school.

Good luck to you daughter tomorrow. That's great that you could get her in so quickly!

-A

I didn't know your dd was having problems with the school. Hopefully you can come to the right decision for all of you.

I know the schools are better in some places than others (dd's private counselor likes to say all of her anxiety issues would be better if we lived in CA). I am wondering if filing the complaints would help anyone elses child down the road? This level of non compliance is horrendous.

 

[bookwormde]

I am reasonably sure that getting children to leave is the goal of some schools.

Be sure and file a 10 day notice that you are removing your child from the school due to failure to meet her needs so you preserve the opportunity to try to get the district to pay for the new school.

You may need to call the state office to get help with your states partucular form for this.

bookwormde

 

[C&G'sMama]

Bookdwormde, I agree about the schools wanting kids to go away. It's the path of least resistance for the school.

Warning: This gets long winded but it feels good to write it down.

As for DD. There's a lot of stuff. Overall this school has been good for her. It's a Charter School and it's so much better than the district school she started at. We love the staff. And here's the but...

We have a lot of kids in our school that are emotionally needy (it's a district wide thing and no different at our school). Her class in particular is "naughty". DP volunteers in her class twice a week and the kids love her so it helps but since DD is a "good" kid she spends a lot of time sitting back while the other kids are attended to. She also has a mid-range hearing loss that would not be helped with hearing aids. The audiologist suggested an FM system. Because she has a 504 and not an IEP the district won't pay for it. (but we got a letter from the district saying "Well, if she was in a district school she would get it" but our district is a whole 'nother story)

We want to try to get her classified as hearing impaired to try and get an IEP. The school is like well, let's try this or this. And because we've spent so much energy on DS we didn't fight this very hard last year. She does well in school but that's because we spend countless hours at home going over the information she missed at school. We've threatened to stop working with her to let her fail so that she'd qualify for AIS, But... we can't do that to her.

Also we're getting into girl drama (her "BF" at school, is a little queen Bee and C knows it), which can happen anywhere but quite frankly as it is such a small school and there aren't that many other girls she bonds with it's not like she can go to another group of kids. We have very deliberately set it up that she has friends from all different areas of her life so that if one goes sour she has somewhere else to go. Sunday School, the Y, the neighborhood, dance etc.

So..... we are very seriously considering home schooling DD (at least to start). Not something we are taking lightly and something we have thought about before the kids were born. Our kids start school at 9:00 and get out at 4:15. We feel the 1:1 with "mommy" as teacher would be really good for her. There are a ton of home schooling activities around here. Bowling Leagues (with 70 or more kids), gymnastic classes, the chess center has a home schooling group, ice skating (DD likes this). Not that we could do everything but with school out of the mix she'd have more time for some of this stuff while still getting her core subjects. One of the moms at Irish Dance home schools her 4 (ages 8 to 19) The 19 yo just completed her GED and is starting Cosmetology school next week. So I spent some time talking to the oldest and C spent time talking to the kids.

DS is okay at school for now. Academically, he's fine. We love the teacher he's going to have as does DS. He still is in OT. We may revisit this as he gets older but for now we think he's better off at school. He will be returning to chess this fall which I think will be good for him.

So that's where we are right now.

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

C&G'sMama, I totally understand how you would choose to homeschool in that situation. It's a difficult decision but we have to do what's right for our kids.

An update on us: DD is doing quite well in the new school. I had an exhaustive meeting with the director (an education specialist with a special needs dd of her own) relaying everything that has transpired with dd. I gave her all of dd's tests and she did some preliminary evaluation of dd and thinks she may have visual processing issues. She was surprised the public school didn't realize it because all of the testing including their own pointed to this assumption. DD had an 82 percentage point subscatter in the Visual Perception tests done by the school as well as scoring more than two deviations below the norm in eye hard coordination and visual closure, had excessive eye blinks, as well as displaying loss of tracking when crossing her midline. At the time I questioned these test scores and the school told me there was nothing to be concerned about. The director of the new school feels the first grade teacher HAD to have known as it was easy for her to pick up on-dd became overwhelmed with pages with a lot of words/print but could read quite well on a page with 5 words or less, showing that she was having trouble with tracking, she was also rubbing her eyes and complained of eyes being "tired". They are now working with her using a specialized reading program for this and I am hopeful we haven't lost too much time.
The new teacher is such a joy and created a wonderful way of helping dd transition to the class in the morning. She has given her a formal "job" in the classroom that she shows up early for and gets to work at before the chaos of the day begins. This teacher is always eager to tell me how many times dd asked for me during the day and what she did to comfort her-so much different from the public school who was determined to hide and maladjustment my dd may have been displaying.

I received a call today from OCR and they took my "testimony" and more background info regarding the complaint I filed. They will be getting back to me as soon as they know how they will proceed. They will hopefully guide the school into compliance on Section 504.

Hope all is well with everyone! Have a great Labor Day weekend. Stay safe up in the north where the hurricane is headed!

 

[C&G'sMama]

Grace - Glad to hear the new school is more receptive to taking care of your child's educational needs (what a concept).

You'll have to give us updates. I gotta believe your DD's anxiety level will go down.

As for us 4 more days and school starts. Neither of mine really want to go back. DP is taking the kids in on Tuesday (the day before school starts) to see their classrooms. DS is nervous about new class rules (even though he knows the teacher).

DD is starting to wonder why she wants to stay in school. Again, we'll see.

 

[bookwormde]

HI everyone I am back from my trip to the Finger Lakes.

I did a little skills training for myself and went outside my comfort zone to meet C&G'sMama and Koolaidmoms family. It was a privilege to meet them and the kids had a great time together and they got to meet my DW (and see what type of person it takes to put up with an aspie like me). Of course both my kids were asking when we could visit them again all the way out the road.

DS 10 actually tried tubing on lake Keuka, with his cousin (who he totally trusts). Since he is a sensory avoider and is hypersensitive to pain I thought I would never see the day. He also decided he liked McDonalds pancakes on the drive home. How many weekends do you get a hat trick.

bookwormde

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

HI everyone I am back from my trip to the Finger Lakes.

I did a little skills training for myself and went outside my comfort zone to meet C&G'sMama and Koolaidmoms family. It was a privilege to meet them and the kids had a great time together and they got to meet my DW (and see what type of person it takes to put up with an aspie like me). Of course both my kids were asking when we could visit them again all the way out the road.


bookwormde

I'm jealous you had a little meet without me! I guess that would be quite a trek from Texas! Glad y'all were able to meet and have some fun. Sounds like a good time!
Someday maybe we'll all meet up at WDW.

We're headed to So Ca this weekend to visit family. We'll have one day at Disneyland. It'll have to be my Disney fix for a while. All my extra $ is going towards private school, which is worth it, I am not complaining.

Good luck to the kiddos who are starting school tomorrow!

 

[C&G'sMama]

HI everyone I am back from my trip to the Finger Lakes.

I did a little skills training for myself and went outside my comfort zone to meet C&G'sMama and Koolaidmoms family. It was a privilege to meet them and the kids had a great time together and they got to meet my DW (and see what type of person it takes to put up with an aspie like me). Of course both my kids were asking when we could visit them again all the way out the road.

DS 10 actually tried tubing on lake Keuka, with his cousin (who he totally trusts). Since he is a sensory avoider and is hypersensitive to pain I thought I would never see the day. He also decided he liked McDonalds pancakes on the drive home. How many weekends do you get a hat trick.

bookwormde

Bookewormde,

I haven't been on the computer all day and just send you a pm before meandering over here. Glad you all made it home safely. It was a privilege to meet you and your family also. Our DS immediately asked if we could meet at the playground again in a couple of weeks. Since it's quite a drive for Bookwormde's family, no, but perhaps we will meet up again someday.

And Grace, hopefully you'll be there too. We don't have anything solid planned at this point as far as WDW. We were supposed to go in October but actually, today, decided to cancel. For a lot of reasons. We are going to go to Boston for a few days instead and have Halloween with my brother's family. So that will be fun.

Our spring dates are up in the air right now and it's between 2/27 - 3/6; 5/15-5/22 (but there are no deals yet and I have a hard time booking at rack rate) or 5/27-6/4. The first and 3rd dates both are free dining times.

 

[C&G'sMama]

And away we go.... First day of school, we leave in 10 minutes (I take 1/2 day on the 1st day and then a bunch of parents go to breakfast). First crisis averted. We order DS sneakers, wide, no ties, online. They aren't in yet, totally forgot. Ran out to WalMart first thing this morning. Only could find tie sneakers but will get him through today. They saw his OT yesterday and she said to bring tie sneakers on his days with her and they'll work on it. He can tie on the board but can't tie his sneakers.

 

[Kat77]

Spreading dust for a good first day

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

Hope your first day went well!

 

[C&G'sMama]

Well, we survived day 1.

DS did well. Although I guess he got a book taken away from him because he was reading while the teacher was giving out bus instructions. DS's thought was "I don't ride the bus, this doesn't apply to me, I don't need to listen". I agree.

DD did okay. We're still going forward with caution. We'll see.

Hope everyone is doing well.

 

[Kat77]

Well, we had an exciting day:
http://www.star-telegram.com/2010/09/08/2453303/storms-cause-flooding-close-roads.html
DS10 had an uncooperative day in class... can't imagine why

 

[C&G'sMama]

Well, we had an exciting day:
http://www.star-telegram.com/2010/09/08/2453303/storms-cause-flooding-close-roads.html
DS10 had an uncooperative day in class... can't imagine why

Oh no, was he on one of the delayed buses

Hope tomorrow is calmer for all of you.

 

[Kat77]

Oh no, was he on one of the delayed buses

Nope, he would have been drawing pictures while the teacher talked about busses. Does not apply to him either. Everyone running late threw off the class routine. I doubt anyone had great day in his program. Teachers were running super early today... the para obviously left her house at the crack of dawn because she made her way out to my van all bouncy and hopped up coffee this morning. Waters were down!

 

[kirstenb1]

I think we've found a winning combination of O/T and school this year. Of course, the O/T isn't at the school, but rather in private practice.

We started our 5 yr old Zoe with this O/T about 6 weeks ago. She has gone from a few meltdowns a day to a few per week!!!!!!! The first 4 weeks, the O/T said what everyone always says, "Zoe is a bit of a mystery". Heck, she's a mystery to us!! But the last 2-3 weeks, we've seen huge improvements in behavior, ability to focus, and interaction with others.

Her teacher is the same teacher she had 2 yrs ago. This teacher is very no-nonsense, but never crosses the line into bullying or pushing too hard. This is what Zoe needs. We've always kind of spoiled her, so this teacher is a good counter for that.

We just spent a 3 day holiday at a beach house we've never stayed at, surrounded by family, and new friends. She attended very quietly in church during my nephew's christening, and interacted with new friends at the party following the service. None of us could believe it!!!!