Behavior Challenge Thread

[GraceLuvsWDW]

Hi everyone!

A short trip to WDW just fell in my lap in the last 24 hours. It started with a Ding fare which got RT airfare for me and dd for $350, then found villa rental for $350 for 4 nights. Pow! Just like that, we're going to WDW 9/23-27! We previously had a Free Dining ressie but the room/dining alone was more than double what this trip will cost (air, rental car, & villa).

Hope all is going well with everyone!
DD is doing well now that she has finally "decompressed" sufficiently from the school year. Now I am trying to get a meeting with the School or Dir of Sp ED to get the ball rolling for next school year.

Only 5 weeks of summer left.

 

[kirstenb1]

Grace, have a great trip!!

 

[bookwormde]

Have fun

bookwormde

 

[kirstenb1]

I just booked Zoe's first appt with an OT next week. I get so nervous about stuff like this....wish us luck!! Silly, I know. And higher limits on our credit cards couldn't hurt either!!

Still, I'm feeling cautiously optimistic. The OT who I spoke with on the phone immediately grasped the idea that Z is "low engine". It's nice being able to speak with someone in shorthand, kind of like you guys.

 

[bookwormde]

KristinB1,

Hopefully you have a clincian that "gets it". IT is amazing how much of a burden this can take off of us.

bookwormde

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

Hopefully you will get a good OT. They can be very helpful!

 

[bookwormde]

Just checking in. DS is so happy and relaxed during the summer. Not a maladative manefestation to be found.

bookwormde

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

Wow, Bookwormde, that is great!

Things are going pretty good here too! I finally have found that "perfect combination" that is helping dd so much. We are on a schedule now and eating well. No artificial colors, additives, or preservatives. About 75% GF. She still dislikes not being able to eat everything she wants but...

The big thing is the schedule. We have a visual schedule that has done WONDERS in alleviating anxiety for dd! Really, it's amazing!

DD has gone to bed by 8:45pm every night for 10 nights in a row! This is unheard of for her, she usually tosses and turns until midnight or later. This is truly a testament to her current level of functioning (and being able to shut down properly).

The outbursts and physical aggression have subsided about 90%. We haven't had a meltdown in a few weeks.

WOW. I never thought I'd be able to say that. I'm so happy with where we are, truly!

Hope everyone is doing well.

School starts here in 2.5 weeks. Ugggh, is it all going to start up again or are these changes going to stick around?

Fingers crossed!

 

[C&G'sMama]

Hey all.

We're having issues with DS right now, but I think it's because his schedule and diet have been off. He gets very angry when you ask him to do anything such as math, cleaning etc. We are working on strategies and cleaning up his diet again. We are very strict with the GF but have slipped on some of the others.

But I guess today he did okay.

One day at a time.


Grace, so glad it's going so well for you and DD. Maybe some of the diet and her being a little older will help with school this year. We have until September 9th. (We didn't get out 'til June 29th).

 

[kirstenb1]

We're back the week of the 23rd too. Grace and Bookworm, I'm glad you guys are having such great summers with your kids.

Our summer has been mixed with great strides, and some challenges. No biggie, just the usual stuff. Z had her second OT visit this week. So far, so good. It's a long-term therapy, so I'm thinking it'll take a while to see improvements. This OT seems to understand Z very well. She's already given me some insight into the sensory issues.

We've started "brushing" her. She's currently tolerating it, and hopefully will grow to like it.

 

[koolaidmoms]

Glad to hear you all are doing well.

We have not had a good schedule for the past 2 weeks or so and it is definitely showing. DS is having one melt down after another, which does nothing to get us back on schedule. If we say no to him or in any way try to change his reality he is threatening us again, the usual wanting to hit us, poke our eyes out and throw us out the window. It is heart breaking for us.

He is in counseling but it still scares us. I worry that he really will hurt his sister. I can still handle him but as he grows .....

So think of us and pray for all of us.

 

[irishsharon]

I hope you all dont mind me jumping in .MY DS 8 has ADHD, we have finally found a med. that helps him at school however it does not help with his anxiety.We have had him evaluated by many and feel that he just does not seem to fit any diagnoises totally(its like he is alittle of this and a little of that) He has issues with food,he finally sleeps thrugh the night but only because his younger brother shares a room with him,he has some senory issues(more when he was younger,like getting his haircut)He is very social and will talk to everyone and anyone(he just invited a child he just meet at the drs. office over for a play date,he use to invite adults at the store over for dinner!)He is kind and sweet and very empathatic even to strangers, I feel that he does not see people as strangers only more people to be friends with.My DH and I feel there is no amount of attention in the world that is enough for him, he wants more even from people he does not know.He craves constant reassurance from adults especially in school. Once he gets something in his head it is all he can talk or think about dont even mention shark week!We brought him to the dentist for a cleaning after an hour all the dentist was able to do was count his theeth and DS was on his meds. at the time.I'm getting concerned as the school year approaches , he has to go to a new school so that he can be in the third grade inclusion class(does anyone have experience with this kind of class)I know I am all over the place sorry any ideas thought or advice would be great, thanks

 

[bookwormde]

What you are describing is social anxiety. It can come from several causes, which can be enviromental or genetic. Find a good psycologist who specializes in this area

bookwormde

 

[irishsharon]

What you are describing is social anxiety. It can come from several causes, which can be enviromental or genetic. Find a good psycologist who specializes in this area

bookwormde

You really think so, even though he is so friendly and not one bit shy? Also any ideas on how to find a good childrens psycologist we have tried 3 in the past year and they dont seem to know how to work and relate to young children very well.I'm so tired of nueroligists and psyciatrist who just hand over med. after med and do nothing else. Is it just me our does anyone else feel this way?

 

[bookwormde]

One of the compensitory adaptations is to be hyper social.What you have to gauge is if the social pattern is within the "typical range" (inviting unfarmiliar adult over is definetly outside the standard). The best indicator is that he need constant reasurnace, this is often an indication of a self adapter, who is still a little "lost" and is allways thinking about socialy relating in stread of having the full innate skills. The only other reason I have seen this is from enviromental damage and I assume you would have metioned this. lack of discrimination is one of the typical profiles with the EF/scocial patterns you describe (like he does not discriminate between adults and children (or other social discriminatory patterns). Often I see these kids not develop the standard gendar biases as early (or not at all), you know the girsl are "yuckey" thing that occurs in early elementary school.

It is just asking around to see of you can find one with a good handle on social skills (not behaviors)

bookwormde

 

[irishsharon]

One of the compensitory adaptations is to be hyper social.What you have to gauge is if the social pattern is within the "typical range" (inviting unfarmiliar adult over is definetly outside the standard). The best indicator is that he need constant reasurnace, this is often an indication of a self adapter, who is still a little "lost" and is allways thinking about socialy relating in stread of having the full innate skills. The only other reason I have seen this is from enviromental damage and I assume you would have metioned this. lack of discrimination is one of the typical profiles with the EF/scocial patterns you describe (like he does not discriminate between adults and children (or other social discriminatory patterns). Often I see these kids not develop the standard gendar biases as early (or not at all), you know the girsl are "yuckey" thing that occurs in early elementary school.

It is just asking around to see of you can find one with a good handle on social skills (not behaviors)

bookwormde

Thank you so much for your insight,his teachers and I just assumed that he needed the constant reasuance because of his ADHD and that he struggled in some acedemic areas.You are so right he does not care if a person is 5 or 75 he will talk to them.At his birthday this year he could only invite a few friends (4 girls 2 boys) Wow! I just kept bringing him to the Drs. and been given sticker charts.Now at school last year the social worker meet with him in small group,this year she will be around during his recess to help.Also he goes to speech2x aweek to work on pragmatics anything I should be doing that would go into his IEP?Its so nice to have someone see what others have missed including myself.Side note-my husband and I have always thought that something else was going on but everyone only wants to talk and deal with the ADHD.Just wait until I tell you about my DS4 the complete opposite of his brother!

 

[C&G'sMama]

First to IrishSharon, welcome and post whenever you need to that's why we're here.

To all. As we've noted we are having issues with DS's anger. And it's hard because he can also be quite sweet and quiet. We've been reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire as a family and on Friday both kids sat from 4 until 7 while DP read to them so they could finish up the book. He's back on a schedule and on the way back to a better diet again. He's still having moments but not as intense.

The biggest worry for me is after he does something, he'll say, "but I was angry" and we tell him it is okay to be angry but it's not okay to hit us or your sister or to put a hole in the screen (a miniscule hole but a hole none-the-less). We try to explain why he needs to try find better ways of channeling his anger.

Yesterday we used a true-life example. There is a double accross the street from us. The owner moved out about 3 years ago and rents out both sides. He's a piece of work and most tenants stay less than a year because they can't deal with him. For the last year there have been great tenants on both side but the woman on one side is getting ready to move. The landlord goes over yesterday and a fight breaks out. Our best friend and DD's godfather lives 2 doors down. I look out when I hear the yelling and see him blocking a woman with a 12" bowie knife. The landlord had cold cocked her (the lady with the knife) sister, she reacted by pulling out the knife, slashing the tire of his van which is when our friend ran over (he's used to dealing with crisis situtations in his work). He stood between the woman and the landlord. The cops showed up etc. Both the landlord and the sister were arrested and released. Now I don't condone what the sister did but I understood her anger. So we told DS what happened and asked if she should have been angry, "yes". Should she have pulled a knife, slashed a tire and try to stab the man "no". The smartest thing for her to do would have been to block her sister without injuring anyone and to call the police. Well bud, this is what we're trying show you.

I just hope he doesn't call the cops next time we ask him to pick up a sock or do multiplication


On a plus note we're having lots of summer fun, spent time in a cabin in a state park a few weeks ago. The kids swam every day and DS hiked up the hill which is all wooded behind our cabin every day. He was exhausted. He finished his first season of playing soccer. He didn't really like the running but he liked the trophy he got. There's been lots of time in the sprinklers and a few trips to our local amusment/water park. School starts September 9.

Oh and we decided we could work out a trip to Disney in October. So we go to ASMu 10/24 through 10/30

 

[irishsharon]

Thanks for the welcome C&G'sMama I can't even imagine having to explain the violent destructive behaviours of adults, but at least he will see that even adults have to follow rules and there are very serious consequences(sp?) if you don't.I would'nt be able to tell my son this story because he would not let us have any knives in the house if I did.

 

[bookwormde]

Heading of to the Outer Banks (Corolla) with extended family and of course a pool for the boys, I will be back in a week.

bookwormde

 

[kirstenb1]

Bookworm, have a wicked good time!!! Glad you have a pool. We're headed to Sandbridge over Labor Day for my nephew's christening.