Behavior Challenge Thread

[DisDreaminMom]

Oh, the holiday report: DS began shrieking as soon as my Aunt drove in the driveway. He did not stop shrieking until she left. When she was not around him, he did not shriek. She shows up at the house, and the shriekfest begins.

He also had inappropriate boundaries with her and was hugging her all the time. I don't know if it's that she's super nice to him or what. He likes to hug, um, women of SIZE. Let's say that... yeah. He'll find a sizeable woman and hug the crap out of her. It's getting annoying.

But the noise thing was my biggest issue. I was having lots of anxiety over the loud shrieking. 'Cause it's so not necessary.

And I went to the YMCA with the family to play racquetball with them, since my DH takes them every Sunday. Ok, here's how this works: My husband and my daughter play ball. My son goes up the stairs to the viewing area for the courts and (drum roll please...) shrieks as loudly as possible (which might not be that loud, it's just that the acoustics there are off-the-charts magnified.)

Took DS to the doctor yesterday. He is always scratching his ear, pulling it, and we had to hide the Qtips from him because he will dig to China and say his ear is itching him. The nurse called me saying his ear was bothering him again. So off to the doctor we go. His ear looks perfectly normal internally, drum etc. Just a little swelling in the ear canal. Is this an anxiety thing? Is tearing his ear up a way of relieving stress?

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

DD does the shrieking too, only I don't think I'd call hers shrieking, it's more like screaming. If things get too loud she responds by screaming at the top of her lungs "It's too loud!" and holding her ears. Don't ask me! I'd think screaming would make it worse but that's her response, which is particularly dangerous when I am driving kids around and she gets it in her head that it's too loud (which is anytime 2 people are talking)!

BTW, our OT has formed a social skills group which we are starting early 2010. 2 girls, 3 boys all ASD, various levels of functioning. I am happy about this but worry about the additional weekly appt. We will see how it goes. I'd like to do away with OT (at $85.00 a week) but it does dd good and her OT is somewhat my therapist and go-to person regarding dd. But feel like I am possibly into overload when each weeks schedule looks like:

Monday OT and play therapy (one hour each)
Tuesday Girl Scouts (every other wek)
Wednesday Social Skills
Thursday Horseback therapy
Friday FREE!

Thanks for all the Christmas ideas.

I think scratching and pulling at ear might be sensory, dd does it too. However, she scratches all over her body most of the time. I have to keep her nails trimmed to prevent severe scratches. I think this could be allergy .

DDM, you've made me want to head out to the Disney Store, is the outlet store running the same sales? Maybe I will have to go check, we have an outlet mall 10 miles away.

C&G Have a GREAT trip to WDW! Say hello to Mickey and Minnie from us!

 

[C&G'sMama]

DDM - Being a rather large woman myself, I was laughing so hard I cried at work today when I read your post. It just struck me funny.

The Disney Trip is the big present this year. So we've decided to give them cards when we leave Charlotte Saturday morning either telling them this is their pesent or giving them a clue. DDM - I've never heard of those toys you were talking about, I'll have to check them out. DS loves Legos, Magnetix, non-Fiction books (he talked be into letting him stay up last night while sister studied for her science test about invertebrates. He was quite incensed he couldn't take her textbook to bed. They are each getting a bike as they both need the next size up. I went to Wal Mart on Black Friday (something I've never done before). I was able to get her a 26" bike for $50 and him a 20" bike for $30. Other than that they'll get a few small things and sleepers as they always get new PJs on Christmas Eve.

Grace - I'm with everyone else about pulling your DD out of school. I'm a firm believer in it (my kids will each miss 7 days for this trip), on the other hand from what I've read on the family boards Texas can make it hard on you.

 

[DisDreaminMom]

Grace, not sure about the outlets. They are under the same tent, but run different deals than we do. The toy I'm talking about is the Infrared Remote controlled car. They make it in Mater (always sell fast), Lightning McQueen, and the green car -I have no idea what it's called.

I didn't look on the internet as to deals they have on there. BOGO sale in our store ends tomorrow. Totally off topic, but I am just loving the merchandise we have now at TDS since Disney took the company back. We even had the dogs from the new Snow Buddies movie and a Nemo PVC set (the little plastic portable toys). I almost jumped on a guest this morning when she walked up to me with the Nemo set. I think I scared her with my "Where did you get that!?!"

I am not so into this afterschool activity scene. Tonight is DD's first night in a Modern Dance class at 5:30. All the way across freakin' town, too. So we're up to three days a week of lessons in town (we live in the boonies, so add half an hour to all my commute times), plus kids go to school across town and I work at the mall now 4-5 days a week. Momma wants a nap. Momma ain't gettin' one. A chauffeur would work, too, now that I think about it.

C&G's Mama, I'm glad you liked the mental picture. Cause you'd pee your pants laughing if you came here and saw it in person. Seriously, he just can't get enough hugs from the large ladies. And he's so freakin' happy when he does it! He's not even being dirty minded- he just loves a hug from a big woman.

Oh goodness. Grace, the definition of NOISE in our house has been reduced to anything that DS thinks is bothering him. Everything else is all bets off.

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

Someday we'll have to do a WDW meet so we can all put names to the faces.

Anyway, I wanted to share a funny:

DD has never enjoyed television or movies of any kind. Whether it's low attention span or the fact that she doesn't understand she has never really watched tv other than Blues Clues. Well, she has started getting "into" the Food Network. She really likes Chopped. So, she's watching it the other night and asks me when a commercial comes on: what are they doing right now? I explained it was recorded and not actually happening right now. Well, she doesn't believe me, she's ADAMANT that it's live (how do I prove otherwise?). So, she's watching it and they have a 20 minute task, then a 30 minute task, then a 30 minute task and all of this is condensed/edited down into 1 hour show. She thinks it's real time and I can hear her saying, "that sure was a quick 30 minutes!"



Don't know why, but you just gotta laugh at these things!

 

[DisDreaminMom]

Grace and C&G's Mama, please do this for me:

Stand on Main Street at MK and look at the Castle and say to yourself, "I'm so happy to be here. There is love and magic in the world and everything will be OK as long as Walt Disney World is still standing." Then go ride It's a Small World and at some point get a Dole Float and make a toast to me.

It's all I ask. I did the same for you guys the last three times I was there in the past year. Cause without WDW, we wouldn't have each others' virtual friendship and we'd feel a heck of a lot more lonely and isolated than we do after all this time on the wonderful thread.

Go forth and prosper and may the busses run on time, the restaurants always seat you quickly, and the Cast Members see what fine people you all are...

 

[C&G'sMama]

Grace and C&G's Mama, please do this for me:

Stand on Main Street at MK and look at the Castle and say to yourself, "I'm so happy to be here. There is love and magic in the world and everything will be OK as long as Walt Disney World is still standing." Then go ride It's a Small World and at some point get a Dole Float and make a toast to me.

It's all I ask. I did the same for you guys the last three times I was there in the past year. Cause without WDW, we wouldn't have each others' virtual friendship and we'd feel a heck of a lot more lonely and isolated than we do after all this time on the wonderful thread.

Go forth and prosper and may the busses run on time, the restaurants always seat you quickly, and the Cast Members see what fine people you all are...

I think I'm over tired because that made me cry, again. And I'm a sucker for any twist on "An Irish Blessing". I'm sure for some reason hugging a large women is nice for him, maybe it's because we're more squishy .

Will do. I know what you mean about activities. We try to keep them to a minimum while at the same time "enriching" our kids. But with 2 (or more) you can't always plan things at the same time. And for us, the farthest we go is maybe 10 miles for Irish Dance on Wednesdays which we're skipping tonight.

Grace I would love to see you all in the flesh sometime. Maybe fate will make it so. In the mean time, I need to get back to pre-trip preparations. Although as long as we have our medication and DP and I have clothes with us, I figure we can buy anything else we may have forgotten. We take so much stuff with us, I can't imagine flying.

 

[C&G'sMama]

DD has never enjoyed television or movies of any kind. Whether it's low attention span or the fact that she doesn't understand she has never really watched tv other than Blues Clues. Well, she has started getting "into" the Food Network. She really likes Chopped. So, she's watching it the other night and asks me when a commercial comes on: what are they doing right now? I explained it was recorded and not actually happening right now. Well, she doesn't believe me, she's ADAMANT that it's live (how do I prove otherwise?). So, she's watching it and they have a 20 minute task, then a 30 minute task, then a 30 minute task and all of this is condensed/edited down into 1 hour show. She thinks it's real time and I can hear her saying, "that sure was a quick 30 minutes!"

Our kids love the Food Network too. When they get up during the night and can't sleep they come into bed with us and we turn the Food Network on. It has turned our kids into foodies though.

Our kids also had trouble with commercials as for the longest time they only watched PBS. Commercials were little announcements at the end of the shows. Now my kids look at me when commercial come on and say, "We don't believe that do we. They are just trying to sell us something and it probably doesn't work." Ahh yes, I have taught them well.

 

[disneymom3]

Regarding the dental work, She loves the "book" and I am hoping it is getting her mentally prepared for the appointment. If I could get her to comply with these things it will make the rest of the work easier (I hope). I am so frightened of putting her "under" for the work. I'd really rather try for a less dangerous approach (that doesn't traumatize her).

You don't know me at all and I am brand new to this thread but the dentist thing hit home. We have a dentist that specializes in kids who struggle with various things. My 9yo son has SID. That whole xray deal in his mouth is very traumatic as are other people's fingers being in there. It truly makes him gag. So, for even his routine cleanings, we give him nitrous oxide. It allows him to relax and he is actually more talkative and pleasant than the poor kid usually is at home. It doesn't bother him when they put things in his mouth nor does the noise of the equiptment get to him. We discovered this when he chipped a tooth a few summers ago. All of the SID stuff was very new to us and I was just figuring out that something was up that wasn't typical and wasn't just quirky. She was going to fix the tooth without anything because it was just a matter of filing and filling. I told her that if she thought he was going to tolerate that, she was going to be very surprised. So, we tried the nitrous.

It made such a huge difference and so she said we should always use it and we do. He does not mind going to the dentist at all now which is a HUGE change! And a very good thing because he is way too big for me to force him to go anywhere.

 

[Earstou]

I am SO leery of doing any of this as last time they gaver her niteous oxide and it was a disaster.

Thanks!

disneymom3, she didn't want to try niteous oxide again.

 

[C&G'sMama]

You don't know me at all and I am brand new to this thread but the dentist thing hit home.

Hello, WELCOME to the thread. Always glad to have other people joining in.

And just because I can. DP took the dogs to the kennel. I'm doing last minute cleaning, when she gets back we'll load up the van, pick up the kids and we'll be on our way.

 

[DisDreaminMom]

We gave my son nitrous and told him he was Wall-E floating in space. Worked like a charm. Now he asks if he can float like Wall-E every time he goes in for a cleaning. Depends on if your kids like the "untethered" feeling. Simple question- do they beg to go on Soarin' over and over again? The nitrous will work.

Welcome, newbies! Glad to meet you. Jump on in and share. Nice to have you here!!

 

[DisDreaminMom]

Hey C&G's Mama, have a superdy-duperdy time and a safe trip and all that. I hope you guys made all your ADR's because free dining is really gumming up the works from what my guests tell me at the store as far as getting any reservations. But also know that there have been technical difficulties recently with the dining system, so always ask for walk-ups. There's always Biergarten and Crystal Palace and Yak&Yeti (which I love-miso glazed salmon is to die for and portions are ginormous) which always seem to have availability. I know, you are a seasoned pro- I am talking to someone who most likely made her arrangements a year ago or something like that. Bet you make a spreadsheet, too.

I was at the gym this morning on the walking track. There were two old people on there, like maybe almost twice my age. But they were both passing me and going way faster than I can go. I thought about getting competitive, then I thought, "I can either race two people who could really give a rat's A#* about me, or I can slow down and enjoy my time here".

That would be my Disney philosophy. Unless you cut in front of me in line, and then I'll get grumpy. 'Cause I probably would have just let you in if you had looked nice enough...

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

And just because I can. DP took the dogs to the kennel. I'm doing last minute cleaning, when she gets back we'll load up the van, pick up the kids and we'll be on our way.

Woo-Hoo! I'm dancing along with you! Have a GREAT Trip with lots of pixie dust!

Give us a full report when you get back...we don't know anything about this trip you have planned, except that it's a surprise!



Welcome DisneyMom3, nitreous was not a fun experience for dd, I think the spacey feeling freaked her out. She is very controlling and perfectionistic so any feeling of being out of it is not pleasant for her. I am glad it is helpful for some, everyone has to find what works for their situation. Welcome to this thread, though, we always like to hear what works and the experiences of others!


BTW DDM, I went to the Disney Store at the outlet mall yesterday. LOTS of good buys, don't know whether to thank you or to blame you for all the $$$ I spent!!! Love the ornaments for $5!! (Some were good quality some were cheap I wish Disney would not outsource to the point of poor quality!) Got some cute T shirts for $2.99 each, PJ pals for $10 (not the best deal-I've seen them for $5.99), Santa cookie plate for $7, snowglobe for $5 (reg 16.99!), and a steeply discounted halloween costume for dd. Also, for everyone interested Old Navy has some Disney shirts in their inventory right now that are cute.


It's supposed to snow here tomorrow. DD is going to freak out! She's never seen snow. Which is probably surprising to all of you northerners but it only snows here rarely-last time was 5 years ago. I love this time of year!

 

[disneymom3]

disneymom3, she didn't want to try niteous oxide again.

Well, I am not very helpful, am I? Sorry about that!

 

[DisDreaminMom]

disneymom3, if we all throw enough darts at the wall, eventually somebody has to get a bullseye!

Grace, I apologize for all shopping transgressions made under my influence. Thirty lashes for me with a Mickey plush.

 

[alizesmom]

Anyone have suggestions on how to find an appropriate face-to-face support group? I went to one this past week and felt like I had shown up at a parenting group with a newborn only to realize that everyone else had a 9yr old. Karen

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

alize'smom, I do not know how to find a support group. What kind of support group are you looking for? Have you tried to Google for it in your area? Perhaps if you called a phychotherapists office near you they would be able to help?

It is really cold here! Have had a fire in the fireplace for 2 days. DD is doing well, the cold doesn't bother her at all, I think it might be due to her sensory modulation issues, she is not feeling "too cold" (even when I'm freezing to death!). I got her an Advent calendar, where everyday you can open a hatch and inside is a cute toy. Well, every day she is ecstatic to open the hatch and then she ooohs and ahhhs over the gift and places it ever so carefully back into the hatch. I tell her she can play with them but she wants "to keep them safe". Very OCD-esque!

The horse riding is going amazingly. DD is trotting with the pony. She loves it and my only fear is that she does not have that healthy fear that keeps you safe. Which is really strange because she has irrational fears about things that won't hurt her and then is not afraid of that which can hurt her. Go figure.

We are still having meltdowns over the impending dental visit. Last night was a whopper. I don't know how the visit will go on Tuesday, from what I saw last night I am back to thinking nothing short of knocking her completely out will work. She fixates and ramps up with the mere mention of an xray. She tries to bargain to get out of the visit.


Hope all is well with everyone. Oh, and you'll notice in my signature: I cancelled the WDW dec trip , booked and finalized the Spring Break trip ($614 for 6 nts at Pop), have a 4 day San Diego/Disneyland trip NEXT WEEKEND (visiting brother in San Diego), and am dreaming about a trip in June too. Hope C&G is having loads of fun at WDW now!

 

[disneymom3]

Thanks for all of the welcomes! It's funny, I came to check out this board because I have MS and this coming trip I think I will need an ECV so wanted tocheck out all the info I knew would be here. And yet, I am finding a lot of info and support about DS too. We have just lived with this for so long that we take many of the accomodations for granted. It's just a normal part of what we do.

He is sick right now, and holy cow, I am glad he rarely gets sick. Sensory processing disorder coping mechanisms all go out the window when your physical system is off. Hasn't been fun or pretty around here!

 

[KirstenB]

Grace, is there anyway you can postpone the xrays for the dental visit? I don't know what your dd's history is on dental visits. But I'm thinking small steps. Has she had a successful visit without the xrays? Has she consented to having a cleaning done? Is the xray the next logical step?

I have a small mouth and the xray forms still kill my adult mouth!!! They do hurt!! If your dd brushes regularly, I'd really consider skipping the xrays, and knocking her anxiety way down.

We just had a hugely successful visit to the dentist with Zoe our 4 yr old, who has ASD. She allowed our dentist to give her a cleaning, where previously, she wouldn't even open her mouth. Her older sister and I both went first, just to show her it didn't hurt. Both dh and I have good teeth, as a matter of fact, dh is 45, and still no cavities. So I'll roll the dice for a few more visits for Zoe, and skip xrays, just to build a base comfort level. I realize this may not be the answer for you, but just wanted to throw that out.