Bedrooms -- how would you divide them up?

[Maybeamomagain?]

I am considering moving to a bigger place so that I can be a foster mother to 3 children I know in my community. I already have one son who is 12, so we'd be a temporary family of 5. The other children are an 8 year old girl, a 6 year old boy, and a 3 year old boy.

The house I looked at today had a living room, dining room, kitchen, bathrooms and 5 "other" rooms. Upstairs there are 3 "regular" bedrooms. On the ground floor there's a sunroom type room with a closet and 3 walls with windows, it's big enough to be a bedroom too. There's also a finished room in the basement that's a good size, with those tiny up high windows.

My goals would be as follows: I get my own room, my son gets his own room (suddenly having 3 little sibs is adjustment enough), the girl gets her own room (because she's the only one), the two little boys share, and there's a room for toys/playing. Which of these would you choose.

Choice 1: Kids in the 3 upstairs bedrooms (biggest:little boys, middle: son, smallest: girl), I sleep in the "sunroom", basement playroom. Potential downside: if the toddler wakes up at night, there's a flight of slippery stairs if he comes to find me.

Choice 2: Me and the foster kids in the 3 upstairs bedrooms (biggest: little boys, middle: me, smallest: girl), my son gets the "sunroom", basement playroom. Potential downside: not sure how safe I feel with a child on the first floor, could someone climb in the window?

Choice 3: Everyone sleeps upstairs, 3 boys together in the biggest room, but my son gets the basement room as "his", where he can hang out with friends, play games. I'd make him come upstairs to sleep because I worry about a fire. Sunroom becomes the playroom. I like the idea of having the playroom on the first floor where I can see/here the little ones.

 

[Carina]

There's also a finished room in the basement that's a good size, with those tiny up high windows.

.

MIght be too small of windows to be a legal bedroom. Need more than one exit from a room in case of fire.

 

[kidzmom3]

some foster rules require each child to have their own room. I would make sure its okay to double up, before I made plans.

 

[Hannathy]

Give your son the room in the basement as a hang out room because as he gets older it will be more important to have a room for friends than a bedroom to himself

They will want to play video games and sit around. He won't care where he actually sleeps. You may want to think about getting him a loft bed though. It will keep him up and away from the little ones, feel more private and will give them room under his bed to play.


And as hard as it is to believe now it won't be too many years till he wants his group of friends to include girls and then it is easier in a game room than having them go to his bedroom.

 

[ksjayhawks]

I would go with option 1. Your ds is going to have a lot of changes with the addition of 3 kids to the family. He should have some private space of his own.

 

[Maybeamomagain?]

MIght be too small of windows to be a legal bedroom. Need more than one exit from a room in case of fire.

There's no way anyone is sleeping down there, for that reason.

 

[cinabug]

I disagree with the idea that your 12 year old won't mind where he sleeps. Privacy is paramount around that age. I would give the almost teen boy the sunroom, so he has maximum separation from the younger siblings. Unless you live in a seriously horrible place, the odds of someone coming in a window are ridiculously low. Heck, I'm guessing death by toaster is statistically more likely.

 

[Carina]

There's no way anyone is sleeping down there, for that reason.

Sorry missed that!

Can you ask the 12 year old what he would like, while making sure he knows Mom gets final say!

 

[angwill]

Having done foster care in the past. You will have to find out more about the kids and issues before making final decisions but I would think you would want to be on the same floor as the foster kids and give teen the sunroom for sleep with basement to use with friends.

 

[Hannathy]

I disagree with the idea that your 12 year old won't mind where he sleeps. Privacy is paramount around that age. I would give the almost teen boy the sunroom, so he has maximum separation from the younger siblings. Unless you live in a seriously horrible place, the odds of someone coming in a window are ridiculously low. Heck, I'm guessing death by toaster is statistically more likely.

Yeah but having one in college and an almost 13 yr old they don't spend time in their rooms with friends. they only sleep there. they want a room they can bring friends to and be alone. They will hang out at the friends house who has the game room. By 12, 13 they are playing video games or watching movies almost exclusively so they want a game room more so than a bedroom, and if it is a place the little ones can't bother him and his friends in so much the better.

 

[Rora]

I'd do option 1.

 

[golfgal]

Either option 1 or 2 would be fine. The chances of someone coming into your house and kidnapping a child sleeping on the first floor are NONE. My guess would be that the younger child will go wake up one of his siblings before he goes to you, at least for a while. I would keep them close. I would make the basement room a teen hang out for your son and for the other kids as they get older (depending on how long you will have them.

Is there any chance you can add an egress window in that basement room? If so, your son could sleep down there if he wanted with the legal window.

 

[englishteacha]

This is a tough one! Hmmm....here's my thought: the kids all upstairs, with a gate at the top of the stairs so the littlest doesn't fall down them. Get a baby monitor to put in the littlest child's room so if he/she needs you, they can just call for you. (or get a bell!)

Maybe I always think the worst, but I'd be afraid of the pre-teen having a rebellious streak and trying to slip out at night if he were on the first floor himself. (It's what I would have done! I wouldn't have caused any trouble...I just would want to know that I could do it!) If that's not a worry for you, then I'd sleep upstairs with the little ones and give the oldest the sun room.

 

[kaligal]

Around here, foster children must have their own room.

 

[Disney Doll]

Choice #1. Gate the toddler in their room at night and have a baby monitor so you can hear if the toddler needs you.

 

[punkin]

Around here, foster children must have their own room.

Really? I know this OT (sorry, but I am really interested) but why is this? It seems like it would cut down on potential foster parents.

 

[Hannathy]

Around here, foster children must have their own room.

and yet when they run out of foster homes (possibly because of dumb rules like this) they have no problem putting them in group homes where they often sleep in summer camp type set ups with multiple beds in a room.

Which would be better in a family home sharing a room with your brother or being in a group home sharing a big room with 6 other kids and not parents, just workers? silly regulation.

 

[Planogirl]

This is a tough one! Hmmm....here's my thought: the kids all upstairs, with a gate at the top of the stairs so the littlest doesn't fall down them. Get a baby monitor to put in the littlest child's room so if he/she needs you, they can just call for you. (or get a bell!)

Maybe I always think the worst, but I'd be afraid of the pre-teen having a rebellious streak and trying to slip out at night if he were on the first floor himself. (It's what I would have done! I wouldn't have caused any trouble...I just would want to know that I could do it!) If that's not a worry for you, then I'd sleep upstairs with the little ones and give the oldest the sun room.

I was on the same floor as my parents and had no trouble sneaking out once. A few friends did the same. Being on the same floor is no guarantee that a kid won't sneak out or at least it wasn't in my world!

 

[dngnb8]

I am considering moving to a bigger place so that I can be a foster mother to 3 children I know in my community. I already have one son who is 12, so we'd be a temporary family of 5. The other children are an 8 year old girl, a 6 year old boy, and a 3 year old boy.

My thoughts

What does your son think about this? Is he a good sharer or will he have some bitterness if he doesnt get his own room?

I would give your son his own room, the girl her own room and bunk the 2 youngest boys.

 

[smb6]

I've never heard of foster children having to have their own room? Here they have to have their own BED, but not their own room....

I would put myself in the sun room on the first floor and make the three upstairs bedrooms for the kids.