Beach Etiquette

[luvmy3]

The poster was referring to situations where there is plenty of other space available, and someone plops down RIGHT beside you or DIRECTLY in front of you. It doesn't make any sense, in that situation.

Frankly, it bothers me too (just slightly) in this situation. But I'll either just deal with it, if not, I can get up and move to another location, since there is plenty of beach area and open tables available.

That poster mentioned people encroaching on her personal space. I was pointing out that the only personal space you get in a public venue is the space you take up. It has nothing to do with how crowded a place is.
The beach is different than a place with designated seats, but there are reasons that people do it, and its not to be rude. The beaches we frequent have designated swimming areas, and most people with younger kids pack in like sardines to be able to be in that area so they can see their kids in the water.

 

[NotUrsula]

And THIS is why I stick with rustic beaches.

I've often been told that I give off a "don't approach me" vibe, and this is one place where it's useful, I guess.

We don't live within driving distance of a beach these days, so we can only bring what we can fit in an ice chest that we check with the luggage, plus the chairs that our favorite condo agency lets us borrow. We put up an umbrella and put down straw sand mats, then hang our towels on stem hooks on the umbrella. The toys stay in a mesh bag, and the sunblock goes in the ice chest with the water bottles.

My kids dig a moat most of the time, and they are not tidy about it, so maybe that helps.

I grew up in a fishing family, and we normally went to the beach by boat.
That formed my taste in beaches I suppose, and so I prefer them as deserted as possible. Most of the time if there are 10 parties of people on the beach that is considered a crowd, and somehow they never come near us. I don't care about being able to see my kids from the beach because if they are in the water then so am I.

 

[capegirl]

No matter what way you look at it, it all comes down to common courtesy.

"There is nothing more uncommon, than common sense"...especially when you're at the beach.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

This is no different than the parades at Disney. People show up last minute and expect to sit in front.

I also have this problem with the trains for my commute. Train pulls in, I step to the side so those inside can get out and some butthead comes along and stands right in the middle, pushing in toward those exiting, so he/she can get a seat. There is nothing like a commute to bring out the worst in humanity. This morning I had a woman driving the wrong way down a one way in the train parking lot to try to beat me to the spot that I was coming up on from the appropriate direction. She's mouthing and pointing away that she wants the spot and waving me along. As I try to pass her she puts the car into reverse to back into the spot and almost hits me.

 

[badblackpug]

Another person, here, who spends their summer on the Jersey Shore, so space is at a premium, but.....

Personal space is a personal concept. I have to agree with PP's that it is a public space without reserved seating, so others have the right to sit where they want. Likely the same reason you chose that spot your "neighbors" did also. Good view, proximity to lifeguard or water, flat ground, whatever. I guess if you feel that others are encroaching on your personal space you can move. Everybody has a different concept of personal space.

 

[ajk912]

If you want to be by the lifeguard, close to the ocean but behind the high tide line, you will have close neighbors.

I agree with this. I get annoyed when this happens to us too, but then I realize, it's because of these exact factors mentioned here.

 

[ols386]

That poster mentioned people encroaching on her personal space. I was pointing out that the only personal space you get in a public venue is the space you take up. It has nothing to do with how crowded a place is.
The beach is different than a place with designated seats, but there are reasons that people do it, and its not to be rude. The beaches we frequent have designated swimming areas, and most people with younger kids pack in like sardines to be able to be in that area so they can see their kids in the water.

I don't think people do it to be rude either. Sometimes people just don't really think about it can be oblivious to it. Just like at Ponderosa where that couple sat down at a table where there was silverware and a receipt. I doubt that they even noticed the silverware and receipt.

 

[7165red]

Thanks OP for starting this thread, personal space is a pet peeve with me too. I usually go to the Jersey shore in Sept. and the beach is empty. I take my spot and the someone come by and settles close to me. I wonder why, you can have any spot you want, why so close. I end up moving my chair and belongings to another spot hoping no one else will come and sit close beside me. I never go to the shore or Fl beach in the busy season because I hate to be on top of each other. If I see someone set up on an uncrowded beach I would never think to go and sit very close to them.

 

[EllenFrasier]

Wow, I just got a good idea from someone's answer on this thread! I am bringing a big ol' squirt gun with me and if I see someone slowing down near me, I'll start squirting away....or more likely I will hand some squirt guns to my kids and let them shoot away. That ought to keep people moving along.

 

[Northstar]

Anthropologist Edward Hall dubbed the study of how different cultures use space "proxemics."

The key thing you need to know is that your feelings about what is normal personal space in a situation like this are not universal. Not every culture shares the idea that 5 feet is too close in shared public space. And because the "rules" we are following are part of the hidden dimension of culture, not like the rules of etiquette spelled out in Emily Post, it is hard to even explain what the rule is.

So the answer to why people do this might simply be that they don't feel it is too close at all. They are comfortable with the personal space bubble around them, and don't see that your invisible personal space bubble extends out farther than theirs.

 

[Rylee]

We are Jersey Shore people. We see it all the time, primarily because kids go in the water so parents want to be as close to the water's edge as possible so they can see their kids. Fine by me.

I would love it if the nearest people were only five feet away. Never happens! Towels and chairs are practically touching each other on weekends.

A few years ago, I took 3 of the kids to the Jersey Shore for a few days in August. (DH and 2 DDs had to work.) It was already crowded when along came a group of guys who squeezed into a tiny space between us and another family. Seriously, one guy was so close it was like sharing an armrest with him at a movie theater. Anyway, since it felt like they were part our group, I handed him a bottle and asked him to loosen a cap I had been struggling with. Might as well make the best of it.

 

[Skywalker]

This thread reminds me of the time we saw the first showing of the day of the France movie in Epcot. There were 20-30 people at most in the theatre. With all of those empty seats, a lady sat smack in front of short dd who couldn't see! We moved our seats so dd could see, but why???

Well, I could see my husband doing that. He always has his favourite spot in a theatre, his calculation is always so many rows up and so many seats in for best viewing and sound, whatever. It is his personal preference. So if those seats are available when he arrives he is sitting there. He wouldn't do it intentionally to enroach on your space, but then again he would not relinquish those seats just because someone is sitting nearby.

 

[Jennasis]

No matter where we sit in an empty theater, people will always sit directly in front of, next to, or behind us...which is FINE, IF they shut the heck up and watch the dang movie. No, we get the group of little old ladies who've MARINATED themselves in Chanel No.5, or are hard of hearing and constantly asking "What did he say?" or "Who is that??" or the obnoxious text-teens, or a crying toddler, or a chatty couple etc. I'm happy to share the air with polite fellow beach-goers or movie-watchers, but not obnoxious gits.

Off Topic...in a sold out showing of the Avengers this weekend a group came along and asked if the seats between me and the next family were taken (they were not), but they neded 5 seats and there were four, so I happily offered to shift over one to make room for them. They were very happy and thankful...so much so that the girl on the end of their group (who wound up next to DH) spent a good chunk of the movie texting about their good fortune. She stopped after DH glared at her for a good 30 seconds.

The college kid in front of me whipped out his cell phone for the first two minutes of the movie (and old school clam shell) and went to town until I leaned forward and loudly said "YOU"RE BLINDING ME WITH YOUR CELL PHONE"...he put it away.

 

[Skywalker]

Okay Jennasis I have had it with you constantly bragging about seeing The Avengers, lol. I am not going to see it until SATURDAY!

 

[Jennasis]

Okay Jennasis I have had it with you constantly bragging about seeing The Avengers, lol. I am not going to see it until SATURDAY!

 

[Skywalker]

 

[wilderness01]

Hate that and it usually always happens!

My kids are older now, but I always would get mad when random kids would come up and grab our beach toys play with them. They literally would come take the toys off our blanket and help themselves. I used to wait for their parent to say something, but that rarely happened so I woud ask the kids if the stuff was theirs. They'd say no and I would tell them that you do not take other people's things without asking permission. I guess that is a rather foreign concept.

Amen!

I loved then how I was made to feel bad when I asked for our toys back that they took and then wouldn't share with MY kids. The nerve of some people just amazes me.

I wish I could have be as rude as they were and let my kids act like jerks, but I just couldn't.

 

[luvmy3]

A few years ago, I took 3 of the kids to the Jersey Shore for a few days in August. (DH and 2 DDs had to work.) It was already crowded when along came a group of guys who squeezed into a tiny space between us and another family. Seriously, one guy was so close it was like sharing an armrest with him at a movie theater. Anyway, since it felt like they were part our group, I handed him a bottle and asked him to loosen a cap I had been struggling with. Might as well make the best of it.