Beach Etiquette

[EllenFrasier]

The Ponderosa thread got me thinking about the beach and people encroaching on our territory. It seems like every time we go to the beach there are people who feel they have to almost join us there!

We get to the beach and set up our stuff. Umbrellas, chairs, towels, beach toys, etc. and relax. Get up to take a walk or watch the kids in the water and when we return we find that someone has decided to set up their stuff only a couple feet away. Hello? It's the beach...miles and miles of sand and they felt they needed to set up so close we can smell their suntan lotion? Not to mention we are not smokers. Enter in the chain smoker who sits nearby and puffs all day long.

Last year it was so funny. My sisters and I go to the beach every summer for a long weekend. We just bring chairs and one umbrella so there's not a ton of stuff around us, but we don't sit too close so we have some space. Anyway, this other group - about 12 of them, mostly men, came and set up a little too close. And instead of setting their chairs up so they could talk to each other - they put them all in one long row....facing us!!! I kind of felt like we were on display and they were the audience. We laughed about it though.

 

[mrsv98]

The Ponderosa thread got me thinking about the beach and people encroaching on our territory. It seems like every time we go to the beach there are people who feel they have to almost join us there!

We get to the beach and set up our stuff. Umbrellas, chairs, towels, beach toys, etc. and relax. Get up to take a walk or watch the kids in the water and when we return we find that someone has decided to set up their stuff only a couple feet away. Hello? It's the beach...miles and miles of sand and they felt they needed to set up so close we can smell their suntan lotion? Not to mention we are not smokers. Enter in the chain smoker who sits nearby and puffs all day long.

Last year it was so funny. My sisters and I go to the beach every summer for a long weekend. We just bring chairs and one umbrella so there's not a ton of stuff around us, but we don't sit too close so we have some space. Anyway, this other group - about 12 of them, mostly men, came and set up a little too close. And instead of setting their chairs up so they could talk to each other - they put them all in one long row....facing us!!! I kind of felt like we were on display and they were the audience. We laughed about it though.

This was one sour note during our Spring Break trip. We went to Fort Myers Beach one day. It was crowded but to be expected. We found a parking space and a nice spot on the beach, we didn't have a lot of stuff, and we took turns taking DD into the water or walking on the beach.

After about 45 mins, this HUGE family comes and sets up within 5 feet of us! They had the whole thing, pop up shelter, food, tables, loud music, kids running and to top it off they brought their wave runner up on the beach and turned on the stereo!!!

DH and I just looked at each other in astonishment. They could have gone 30 or 40 feet down the beach and had a nice open spot that would not have imposed on anyone but instead chose to park on top of us! We only stayed another hour or so, between the cigarette smoke and the loud music we had it.

I know they had the "right" to be there, but they should also have been aware of their impact on those around them (we were not the only ones to leave or relocate.).

 

[ols386]

It doesn't make sense to set-up your stuff right next to someone already there on the beach, especially if it's not a crowded beach.

I can understand if it's super crowded. Otherwise, not so much.

 

[spacemountainmom]

Hate that and it usually always happens!

My kids are older now, but I always would get mad when random kids would come up and grab our beach toys play with them. They literally would come take the toys off our blanket and help themselves. I used to wait for their parent to say something, but that rarely happened so I woud ask the kids if the stuff was theirs. They'd say no and I would tell them that you do not take other people's things without asking permission. I guess that is a rather foreign concept.

 

[Pixiedust34]

I agree! I know people can sit where ever they want, but why does someone camp out right next to us on the beach when there is a lot of empty space everywhere?! LOL

This thread reminds me of the time we saw the first showing of the day of the France movie in Epcot. There were 20-30 people at most in the theatre. With all of those empty seats, a lady sat smack in front of short dd who couldn't see! We moved our seats so dd could see, but why???

 

[Pixiedust34]

Hate that and it usually always happens!

My kids are older now, but I always would get mad when random kids would come up and grab our beach toys play with them. They literally would come take the toys off our blanket and help themselves. I used to wait for their parent to say something, but that rarely happened so I woud ask the kids if the stuff was theirs. They'd say no and I would tell them that you do not take other people's things without asking permission. I guess that is a rather foreign concept.

This has happened to us a number of times! It floors me that the kids help themselves to our stuff w/o asking, plus the parents don't care. It also floors me that parents bring nothing at all for their kids to play with at the beach. How hard is it to pack a shovel and bucket?

It got to the point that I'd bring extras (not really toys, but yogurt containers and other recycled products that I didn't care if we didn't get back) and would offer them to some of the kids. This came in handy at a state park we visited in which very few kids besides ours came prepared with toys. There were times our kids shared their toys, but it was a pain to hunt them down at the end of a day. Sometimes the sharing worked well, but other times we wanted a quality time family day together with just the 4 of us and not random kids in our area all day using our stuff.

One advantage of having teens is that now all they want to bring is their music and no one infringes on their ear buds.

 

[Janepod]

We are Jersey Shore people. We see it all the time, primarily because kids go in the water so parents want to be as close to the water's edge as possible so they can see their kids. Fine by me.

I would love it if the nearest people were only five feet away. Never happens! Towels and chairs are practically touching each other on weekends.

 

[spacemountainmom]

This has happened to us a number of times! It floors me that the kids help themselves to our stuff w/o asking, plus the parents don't care. It also floors me that parents bring nothing at all for their kids to play with at the beach. How hard is it to pack a shovel and bucket?

It got to the point that I'd bring extras (not really toys, but yogurt containers and other recycled products that I didn't care if we didn't get back) and would offer them to some of the kids. This came in handy at a state park we visited in which very few kids besides ours came prepared with toys. There were times our kids shared their toys, but it was a pain to hunt them down at the end of a day. Sometimes the sharing worked well, but other times we wanted a quality time family day together with just the 4 of us and not random kids in our area all day using our stuff.

One advantage of having teens is that now all they want to bring is their music and no one infringes on their ear buds.

So true! I have to laugh a little bit though. Last summer my dd (who was 16 at the time) and three of her friends went to the beach one afternoon. Just as they were going to leave dd asked me where the beach toys were. She said they wanted the buckets and shovels. I couldn't believe they didn't want the giant squirt gun thingys. We have these awesome things that you stick in the water and pull back on the handle to fill and they squirt very long distance. They are still fun to play with.

I must say I kind of miss the days when I was home with the kids and we spent nearly every summer day at the beach.

 

[shortbun]

Try another beach. Where we go-Hatteras and Ocracoke-no crowds, in fact it's often difficult to make out facial features on the closest beach neighbors unless you walk right on at the path and park. Still, you can get far enough away from people that's it's safe to fish, surf and have kids swimming without danger. THAT is saying something!!! Of course, if I keep inviting people, it might get a little more crowded...not. There is waaaay more beach there than any occupancy could fill. We've been there over the 4th of July and not been bothered by any beach crowds. No one borrows our stuff, never bothered by smokers, can't hear other's conversations= bliss.

 

[ckay87]

Now that my kids are bigger and don't want to associate with me anymore , my beach paraphernalia is down to a chair and a bag. If with DH or a friend, it's same thing + 1. I don't take up much space, and that is when I seem to get the close "company." People don't even see one or 2 chairs together. We are immediately placed into a larger group . Thinking that I may get in the habit of taking one or 2 "dummy" blankets to spread around for my non-existent little kids, just to keep a buffer up. But darn it all...I am really REALLY enjoying not having to carry boatloads of junk to the beach anymore!

 

[Jennasis]

OOh hate that! On our honeymoon, DH and I were on the beach at the Contemporary waiting for the electric water pageant to come by. The beach was EMPTY. We were the only people there. We were sitting on the sand, snuggled up to each other, and just about a minute before the show started another family comes up and sits 10 feet in front of us (with their children standing).

I was sorely tempted to cause a scene, but instead I just picked up and moved over. When the show ended, the rest of their family arrived, drunk, and let their toddler chase the ducks around. When the kid couldn't catch one, one of the large drunk men TACKLED the duck like a loose football at the Superbowl (no lie. I have no idea how he didn't crush it) and held it down quacking and struggling so the kid could pet it.

 

[mjkacmom]

We are Jersey Shore people. We see it all the time, primarily because kids go in the water so parents want to be as close to the water's edge as possible so they can see their kids. Fine by me.

I would love it if the nearest people were only five feet away. Never happens! Towels and chairs are practically touching each other on weekends.

If you want to be by the lifeguard, close to the ocean but behind the high tide line, you will have close neighbors. The older my kids get, the more we can move from the lifeguards, and I don't mind being farther back, because I'll just bring my chair to the water (I never want to park so close as to be able to see my kids in the ocean - too crowded!)

 

[luvmy3]

We are Jersey Shore people. We see it all the time, primarily because kids go in the water so parents want to be as close to the water's edge as possible so they can see their kids. Fine by me.

I would love it if the nearest people were only five feet away. Never happens! Towels and chairs are practically touching each other on weekends.

Yup
Unfortunately my need to keep an eye on my kids trumps my want for isolation.

 

[MIGrandma]

I've never understood why some people can't, or rather won't, respect other people's personal space.

An uncrowded beach and someone sets their stuff up practically on top of you, that would be super annoying, especially with smoke and music.

Now if it's super crowded, can totally understand not having much empty space between couples/families but when it's practically empty...go away!

It's the same way in restaurants, can be a nearly empty restaurant and if it's "seat yourself" someone will want to sit right at the next table and not choose one further away.

Or in a movie theater, when you're the ONLY person in there, sitting in the very back row on the end and another couple comes in and proceeds to sit right directly in front of you. What the heck?

I don't encroach on someone else's personal space (when possible) and I don't appreciate people who encroach on mine either.

 

[luvmy3]

I've never understood why some people can't, or rather won't, respect other people's personal space.

An uncrowded beach and someone sets their stuff up practically on top of you, that would be super annoying, especially with smoke and music.

Now if it's super crowded, can totally understand not having much empty space between couples/families but when it's practically empty...go away!

It's the same way in restaurants, can be a nearly empty restaurant and if it's "seat yourself" someone will want to sit right at the next table and not choose one further away.

Or in a movie theater, when you're the ONLY person in there, sitting in the very back row on the end and another couple comes in and proceeds to sit right directly in front of you. What the heck?

I don't encroach on someone else's personal space (when possible) and I don't appreciate people who encroach on mine either.

In a public place, the only personal space I have is, the space I am taking up. The tables next to me at a restaurant are not my personal space, the seats in front of me at the movies are not my personal space. Unless those people sat in my lap, then they are not encroaching my personal space.
I try not to sit directly in front of people, or right next to them, but if that is the best place for my view or for some other reason then yes I am going to do it. I won't smoke, or yell loudly, or take your things, I won't let my kids disrupt and disturb you, I'll just sit there minding my own business.

 

[Ephany]

This has happened to us a number of times! It floors me that the kids help themselves to our stuff w/o asking, plus the parents don't care. It also floors me that parents bring nothing at all for their kids to play with at the beach. How hard is it to pack a shovel and bucket?

It got to the point that I'd bring extras (not really toys, but yogurt containers and other recycled products that I didn't care if we didn't get back) and would offer them to some of the kids. This came in handy at a state park we visited in which very few kids besides ours came prepared with toys. There were times our kids shared their toys, but it was a pain to hunt them down at the end of a day. Sometimes the sharing worked well, but other times we wanted a quality time family day together with just the 4 of us and not random kids in our area all day using our stuff.

Totally agree! One of my friends NEVER brings stuff for her kids (they're all under 7). I'm like . She lives 15 minutes from the ocean, how does she not own at least a bucket and shovel? She never brings snacks or water either come to think of it. DD and I agreed that this summer we're going to be a lot more stealthy in our beach trips; it's frustrating to always have to make sure to have enough for 6 people because my friend doesn't think ahead (and no, money is not an issue, she's just oblivious).

I have a tote thingy with handles where we keep all the toys. I grab my tote bag with water/snacks/kindle and the loungers, DD carries the toy tote and her boogie board and we're set for the day. Not hard and everything messy is stored near the door in the garage.

We haven't really had a problem with other kids taking toys, except for toddlers and the parents have always stopped them when they see what they're up to. I don't mind, as long as things are returned. Love the yogurt container and other recycleables idea. DD is funny, when she's tired of sharing or having to track stuff down she hides it under my lounge chair. People are way less likely to try to use things if they're under your bum.

 

[Janepod]

Yup
Unfortunately my need to keep an eye on my kids trumps my want for isolation.

Bingo! Not as if I get a chance to sit down and relax anyway.

 

[ols386]

I've never understood why some people can't, or rather won't, respect other people's personal space.

An uncrowded beach and someone sets their stuff up practically on top of you, that would be super annoying, especially with smoke and music.

Now if it's super crowded, can totally understand not having much empty space between couples/families but when it's practically empty...go away!

It's the same way in restaurants, can be a nearly empty restaurant and if it's "seat yourself" someone will want to sit right at the next table and not choose one further away.

Or in a movie theater, when you're the ONLY person in there, sitting in the very back row on the end and another couple comes in and proceeds to sit right directly in front of you. What the heck?

I don't encroach on someone else's personal space (when possible) and I don't appreciate people who encroach on mine either.

In a public place, the only personal space I have is, the space I am taking up. The tables next to me at a restaurant are not my personal space, the seats in front of me at the movies are not my personal space. Unless those people sat in my lap, then they are not encroaching my personal space.
I try not to sit directly in front of people, or right next to them, but if that is the best place for my view or for some other reason then yes I am going to do it. I won't smoke, or yell loudly, or take your things, I won't let my kids disrupt and disturb you, I'll just sit there minding my own business.

The poster was referring to situations where there is plenty of other space available, and someone plops down RIGHT beside you or DIRECTLY in front of you. It doesn't make any sense, in that situation.

Frankly, it bothers me too (just slightly) in this situation. But I'll either just deal with it, if not, I can get up and move to another location, since there is plenty of beach area and open tables available.

 

[MichelleVW]

My favorite are the people that run right by your towel and kick sand up on you....

 

[Wishing on a star]

We are getting ready for our beach vacation in less than two weeks!!!

Where we go is usually more busy. So, we do expect neighbors.
I really think this phenomenom is human nature.
The not-so-great side of human nature.

But, the whole personal space thing is another issue as well.
I have always heard that other cultures, where people live packed in on top of each other, and there just is not as much personal space as there is here in the U.S.... (Europe, Japan, etc....) They just have NO perception or expectation of personal space at all.... If the person in line behind you is not physically touching you, you can at least feel their breath on the back of your neck...

But, seems that here, I have noticed a trend in the OPPOSITE direction.

We stop at a fast food, and if there is anyone at the counter, then the other people are like 4 feet behind them.... the next is then, almost literally blocking the entry, because they just do not even try to queue up?????

So, to live in a culture where personal space is very highly valued and protected... IMHO, the act of purposefully invading another person's personal space, when there is miles of room, and therefore totally NOT necessary... Is that like some kind of aggressive, one-up-manship.... Like, if this is supposed to be a good spot, and you got here first... then I have to butt in.