Ballpark payment on an $85K school loan

[twooley2]

So you're saying how much they are valued and love is determined by how much they have in the bank? Really?
by that anology, some one who is poor must have absolutely no value as a spouse what so ever.





Ditto. I never understand where we get these "hard fast' rules. How does not having student loans equate to how much some one loves or values you?
Jeez,
I am back in school pursuing my passion. I took out a 10K student loan at the ripe old age of 50+. According to some of you, I guess I don't "Value" my husband of 26 years any more. because if I did I wouldn't have taken out the loan.
That's about the dumbest blanket statement I've heard in a long time.
Money is a tool. We discussed the pros and cons of taking out the loan, how long it would take to pay it off and whether it would be a good investment.

How about this. How about a couple actually talk and communicate with each other about the debt. Decide if this is some thing they are both comfortable with and go on from there. Discuss the future and what place debt will have in that future.

Oh and my mom was also another who took out a student loan after kids to go to law school. She ended up being one of many great civil rights lawyers who helped changed the lives of millions of African americans, many who are probably really glad she decided to take those loans out.

I have to agree some of the ideas about a persons value is being all placed on money. What kind of people place money at such a high level? I seen a crime show story where a husband lost his job and turned to robbing banks just to be of value to his family. He was a church goer, family man, active in the community but what he was doing cost lives and such but hey he had money, provided a fancy house, and no debt. I bet if the tables were turned and some people werent as lucky as they were they wouldnt feel so. Many people think they have it hard and say we do this and we do that and we are so right over someone who did not have it as good that they do not even realize they have it good. They take things for granted. Maybe an option for some would be to pay it off for her if someone has it that good

 

[Virgderon]

We send mixed messages to our young people . We tell them that they must have a college degree, which may very well be true when corporate America now requires degrees for jobs that did not require one 20 years ago.

Then we tell them not to take loans to pay for it , even tho most parents could not have possibly saved the entire cost of tuition for their kids.

Sigh. No wonder our kids don't know what to do.

 

[crisi]

This sort of thing might be the exception to the rule...he had fantastic earning potential at that point and did manage to wipe the loans out quickly.

Does the spouse's debt become your debt legally upon marriage? If so, I would have suggested a prenup. Honestly, though, at 35 I'd think that both spouses already have established careers and assets, so I'd suggest a prenup anyways.

Is it the exception? My husband had $40k in private school loans for a B.A. in Sociology when we married - not exactly an employable field. Two years later they were paid off. (He was never employed in Sociology).

Dave Ramsey followers are pretty rampant around here, when you decide to retire debt, $40k (or $85k) is doable.

 

[ccgirl]

Why would the girl want anyone but herself to pay off the loans? I would never to go my husband for money or assume he'd pay for it or that "we'd" pay for it. My education, my loan, my bill. I bought a car and was $4k short of paying in full after taxes and fees. I'm paying that, not my husband.

And I'd be furious if my mother-in-law knew my business. But then again, I didn't ask.

We're a team now and my student loans enabled me to get a job where I actually make more money than him. We have 1 account. All of our money goes into it and we pay all bills out of it. I don't say, "I make more money so I should be able to do more."

What about stay at home parents that care for their children and don't "technically" earn a paycheck (all the while doing loads of work as we all know)? How would their student loans get paid?

While my car is in my name and my DH's car is in his name, they get paid from our joint checking.

Sounds like the DiL to be was at the "meeting" as well. Sounds like they have a very open relationship. If my MiL unknowingly new my business I would not be happy. Sounds like the DiL to be was right there though.

 

[bridget]

I think that 85K in student loans for med school is VERY different than 85K for undergrad. Just my opinion.

The other thing I'm not sure anyone mentioned is how many people actually end up staying with what they majored for their undergrad???? (That would be a whole different post).

In the area I live, there is no reason to end up with 85K in student loans as an undergrad.

 

[DawnM]

Well, for 90% (or more) of the jobs out there, a fancy expensive college is not necessary. I have told my kids I will pay for the local 4 year school tuition and room and board at home. I feel compelled to offer a college education to them.....anything above the cost of what we are offering they are on their own to pay the difference.

However, we DO emphasis debt free living in our home.

This is not to say that should my child get in to the Stanford we won't try to help, but so far, I am not seeing that any of them will NEED that as their interests are in fields where it won't matter as much where they went or they can go to the fancier school for grad school (which is what DH and I did) as grad school is far fewer years.

Dawn

We send mixed messages to our young people . We tell them that they must have a college degree, which may very well be true when corporate America now requires degrees for jobs that did not require one 20 years ago.

Then we tell them not to take loans to pay for it , even tho most parents could not have possibly saved the entire cost of tuition for their kids.

Sigh. No wonder our kids don't know what to do.

 

[scrapquitler]

Why would the girl want anyone but herself to pay off the loans? I would never to go my husband for money or assume he'd pay for it or that "we'd" pay for it. My education, my loan, my bill. I bought a car and was $4k short of paying in full after taxes and fees. I'm paying that, not my husband.

How about because a married couple is a team? "We" paid off "Our" student loans. "We" paid for my teaching certificate. "We" pay for our cars. The way we see it, what benefits one of us, benefits both of us. We are a team. Us agains the world. Not "ME" against the world alongside him, Us together.

 

[ccgirl]

I think that 85K in student loans for med school is VERY different than 85K for undergrad. Just my opinion.

The other thing I'm not sure anyone mentioned is how many people actually end up staying with what they majored for their undergrad???? (That would be a whole different post).

In the area I live, there is no reason to end up with 85K in student loans as an undergrad.

However, not all areas are the same. The area where I live it is $18,000 a year for Tuition, Room&Board (not including a dining plan) at a state university. That would be a total of $72,000 for a 4 year degree, not including books, food, some fees, etc...So, you can see it would be very easy to get a significant amount of loans.

 

[dvcgirl]

I think that 85K in student loans for med school is VERY different than 85K for undergrad. Just my opinion.

The other thing I'm not sure anyone mentioned is how many people actually end up staying with what they majored for their undergrad???? (That would be a whole different post).

In the area I live, there is no reason to end up with 85K in student loans as an undergrad.

For sure...85K in med school debt is very different than 85K in undergrad debt. And I'd even say that 85K in law school debt is very different than med school debt. Most med students come out and get that big job and have the ability to pay off the debt fairly quickly.

But when I was reading about that kid from the 4th tier law school with 225K in debt....well, that's pretty bad.

 

[FINFAN]

not to go off topic, but this thread reminds me again( as a very broke parent of 1 in college and one on the way)WHY exactly college tuition is SO expensive to start with? Not talking about room and board, but seriously...is the effort/task of teaching the gen eds of years 1 and 2 THAT much different than High School? I know I didn't think so when I was at a state college..matter of fact I remember thinking I had to work WAY harder in HS than college for a lot of my gen ed classes...TA's were in there 1/2 the time, mostly your grade depended on like, 3 tests and the final, a paper here/there. Once getting into your major classes, more relevant to your career I can see an increase in cost perhaps since now it is more specialized, only certain students need them vs. across the board for gen eds. Its a crime. I feel so badly for the students at any age/major when the are faced with the daunting task of these costs . It is difficult enough for a mature adult to have to navigate thru it let alone an 18 year old trying to decide their future. Yes, I know Junior college is an option for those very reasons, and as of now my DS is grudgingly going that route. He is torn because he really wants to go away and have the same opportunities his sister is having, but she is willing to take the debt, he is not so he is faced with that choice. MOST students would not willingly take on large double digit debt if they had a way around most of it. My DD has no desire to have kids, and says if she changes her mind she would prefer to adopt so she is basically paying for her own educational debt vs saving for her childs education. This is a consious choice she has made..not BECAUSE of debt, but since she has that decision in mind it did allow her to consider other colleges that suit her career better. She also chose one that allows her to go directly into her major courses...paying the bill while actually getting direct education to her career was influential in her decision process, sort of like her BA and MA combined.
Wouldn't it be nice is the girl with the debt had maybe 1/2 of that if tuition was reasonable? OP doesn't say the debt is from irresponsible spending on Gucci, BMW or travel, yet she is going to suffer...again, it appears that those who are trying to do the right things in this world such as obtaining an education, planning a typical life in society get penalized.

ETA: Another frustrating thing is why the interest rates on the loans are at 6.8 right now...no reason with the rates today...just no reason at all to stick it to kids trying to get an education.

 

[crisi]

However, not all areas are the same. The area where I live it is $18,000 a year for Tuition, Room&Board (not including a dining plan) at a state university. That would be a total of $72,000 for a 4 year degree, not including books, food, some fees, etc...So, you can see it would be very easy to get a significant amount of loans.

$25k a year for in state room/board/tuition for a California school - $27k at the good ones. That's $100k. IF you live close by, you can live at home. If you don't....well. Lots of people do two years of community college and transfer in, but if you can't get grants, you are still looking at $50k for those two years, plus what community college cost.

 

[crisi]

not to go off topic, but this thread reminds me again( as a very broke parent of 1 in college and one on the way)WHY exactly college tuition is SO expensive to start with? .

A number of factors. First, the state is not fulling funding them. Compare college tuition with a private high school and the numbers are much more comparable. There are plenty of GOOD private high schools around here that cost $40k a year. Colleges tend to offer a lot more options - that comes as a cost. College professors are better paid - and don't teach as many courses at a time (but they have other responsibilities - often continuing their own research and publishing). For colleges, facility upkeep can be a really big deal - a lot of colleges have old and historic buildings to maintain. Research equipment costs money - how many high schools have electron microscopes or research capable telescopes?

 

[walkdmc]

It will depend on the term and interest rate, as well as type of loan..Federal vs. private.

 

[LoveBWVVBR]

I have to agree some of the ideas about a persons value is being all placed on money. What kind of people place money at such a high level? I seen a crime show story where a husband lost his job and turned to robbing banks just to be of value to his family. He was a church goer, family man, active in the community but what he was doing cost lives and such but hey he had money, provided a fancy house, and no debt. I bet if the tables were turned and some people werent as lucky as they were they wouldnt feel so. Many people think they have it hard and say we do this and we do that and we are so right over someone who did not have it as good that they do not even realize they have it good. They take things for granted. Maybe an option for some would be to pay it off for her if someone has it that good

No, I really don't see how a person's value is all being placed upon money. Pay the loans off and THEN get married. That doesn't place anyone's value on money. To me, it shows respect to your future partner and their parents, period. IMHO it would have been horribly disrespectful towards my parents if I had married someone with 85K in loans and then taken on the burden of paying those loans off. My parents worked more than 1 job EACH so my sister and I didn't have many college loans. What a huge slap in the face it would have been if I'd just turned around and taken on someone else's loans out of "love". Sorry, but I love my parents too and I respect them tremendously for what they did for me. Any spouse of mine was going to have that debt largely settled before we got married...same with my sis. That is just a show of respect towards me IMHO.

Since this is the budget board, I have to really wonder what Suze Orman or Dave Ramsey would say about this topic? I'll bet that Suze would be all "don't marry her until she pays it off! Get a prenup!" but I'm not sure about Dave.

 

[Judique]

Why would the girl want anyone but herself to pay off the loans? I would never to go my husband for money or assume he'd pay for it or that "we'd" pay for it. My education, my loan, my bill. I bought a car and was $4k short of paying in full after taxes and fees. I'm paying that, not my husband.

And I'd be furious if my mother-in-law knew my business. But then again, I didn't ask.

Just a question, do the marriage vows still say 'for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health' etc etc, or is that all rewritten now?

For the OP - I took your question as one for the marriage instruction that goes along with some religions. Someone mentioned pre cana....and there are others.

Everything is not a dollars and sense decision.

Some say love is blind - well, maybe that's a good thing, because some of the unions we have on here seem very calculated.

There is nothing wrong with responsible planning and avoiding debt, but leave a little room for dreams and chance. The world can be dull enough sometimes.

My MIL knew all my business. She was so kind! I am now a MIL and I am welcome in my children's business - not to interfere, but for guidance and sometimes I drop a few bucks to make it easier for them. My future financial planning involves built in help for all my children if and when I pass. I care about my children and future grandchildren and I want the best for them.

For the poster above - some of that car may very well be your husband's legal property depending what state you live in. Might as well let him help pay for it.....

 

[PatriciaH]

When you add up what we pay in this country for schooling, child care, medical insurance, retirement $, etc. Canada and Europe's taxes don't looks so bad. Plus they get hundreds of hours more a year off.

 

[tlbwriter]

No, I really don't see how a person's value is all being placed upon money. Pay the loans off and THEN get married. That doesn't place anyone's value on money. To me, it shows respect to your future partner and their parents, period. IMHO it would have been horribly disrespectful towards my parents if I had married someone with 85K in loans and then taken on the burden of paying those loans off. My parents worked more than 1 job EACH so my sister and I didn't have many college loans. What a huge slap in the face it would have been if I'd just turned around and taken on someone else's loans out of "love". Sorry, but I love my parents too and I respect them tremendously for what they did for me. Any spouse of mine was going to have that debt largely settled before we got married...same with my sis. That is just a show of respect towards me IMHO.

Just out of curiosity, would you feel differently if you had paid your own way through school, rather than having your parents pay a big chunk of it? Or if your future partner had medical bills instead of school loans? I hope this doesn't sound like I'm being argumentative, because I really am just trying to learn more about your opinion on this. Right now I halfway agree with you - when I think like a parent, and picture my child paying off someone else's loans, I think you're absolutely right. But when I think like a wife, and picture putting off my wedding because my fiance isn't properly funded, I disagree.

 

[punkin]

ETA: Another frustrating thing is why the interest rates on the loans are at 6.8 right now...no reason with the rates today...just no reason at all to stick it to kids trying to get an education.

I'd like to know this as well. 6.8 seems huge in the current interest rate environment, particularly since these loans are never dischargeable. I just don't get it.

 

[LoveBWVVBR]

Just out of curiosity, would you feel differently if you had paid your own way through school, rather than having your parents pay a big chunk of it? Or if your future partner had medical bills instead of school loans? I hope this doesn't sound like I'm being argumentative, because I really am just trying to learn more about your opinion on this. Right now I halfway agree with you - when I think like a parent, and picture my child paying off someone else's loans, I think you're absolutely right. But when I think like a wife, and picture putting off my wedding because my fiance isn't properly funded, I disagree.

No, I wouldn't feel differently. I would not marry a partner who was coming into the relationship with a ton of any kind of debt. I just wasn't raised that way, and I won't live that way nor raise my children that way. I would see that debt as taking away from MY children...not a great way to start off a life together, KWIM?

If I'd had to pay my own way through school, I would be even more determined to not take on someone else's school debt. My sister and I both worked full time in our career jobs while going to grad. school full time at night because our employers paid for it that way. Both of us got very little sleep, but we both got our grad degrees debt-free. Why on earth would we want to pay off the loans of someone who took those years off from work and took out loans instead? I didn't go without sleep for 3 years so I could turn around and pay off school loan debt for someone who made an easier choice! If I'd wanted to do that, I would have skipped the job for those years and taken out my own loans.

 

[LoveBWVVBR]

When you add up what we pay in this country for schooling, child care, medical insurance, retirement $, etc. Canada and Europe's taxes don't looks so bad. Plus they get hundreds of hours more a year off.

Are these things all free in Canada and Europe, though? I'd assume that they still have to pay for childcare and college, albeit perhaps at reduced rates???