Badly behaved children, and their parents.

[abdmom]

Up until we moved last year, I used a bowl, held it out to the kids and told them to take what they liked. The trick was - the bowl had a creepy looking rubber hand that was sticking up in the middle. The hand is battery operated so that when the kid went to take a piece of candy, it would move to grab the kids hand while saying "Happy Halloween" or "Trick or Treat". It freaked the kids out and it made sure they only took one. For the littlest kids or the ones who were too scared to try, I got the candy out of the bowl for them.

 

[JennaDeeDooDah]

I wonder if it is a regional difference. It is unusual here for people to hold out a bowl and expect the kids to take the candy. Generally, the kids hold out their open bags, and the home-owners put the candy in. I have my candy in a bowl on a table beside the door, so I can grab it and hand it out. That approach helps me manage how much candy I have, too - if it is going fast, I can give out fewer items per child, if the numbers seem low, I will increase how much I give out.

TP

It's the same way here. I've never experienced the kids reaching into the bowl before.

 

[mickey&arielsmom]

We took a group of six kids last night and they were well behaved except for the one house where they got a full size Snickers and one of the girls loudly proclaimed, "That's why I love old people!" After we stopped laughing, we told her that might be a little offensive.

 

[goofyintoronto]

That's funny, maybe that's a regional difference or something?

Not rudely grabbing handfuls - rude is rude. But if I'm reading your post correctly, for you, reaching into the bowl the kid's self is perceived as rude itself.

Here, at least in all my experience, both as a trick or treater and as a candy distributor, heh, a kid reaching in him or herself is totally normal. Some people do hand out themselves and you just hold open your bag or hold out your pumpkin, but plenty of people stand there with a big bowl in their hand talking to the parents or saying 'ooh, what a scary costume!' and kids are meant to rummage for themselves.

They're meant to take one item unless otherwise instructed, but lots of people have a variety of stuff in their bowls so kids take what they'd prefer. I usually have bags made up with non-candy and a bowl of various candies. I dunno what each kid likes, I hold the bowl, they take a bag and peer at the candy choices and pick.

Yes, its different if I hold out the bowl so that they could grab the candy themselves. In that case, I wouldnt be upset if they grabbed a handful because its the risk i took at holding out the bowl. But I dont usually hold the bowl and let them have a free-for-all. So if a kid were to rudely reach over and grab a handful, yes i'd be irked. Thats just rude I think.

 

[Glynis]

OP - I'm sorry that happened to you, last night! I've been practicing with my 3 year old all week long. Last night, he walked up to doors, gave his best, "Trick or Treat!", waited for the candy to be dropped into his bucket, and then said, "Thank you!" I was so proud of him. After each house, he would turn around and jump up and down saying, "This is the BEST Halloween EVER!"

I was pleasantly surprised with the polite behavior we saw last night, as well. DH was thrilled, as he was handing out the candy. It was such fun to see the kids in their costumes.

We did have a group of teenagers who came around. They weren't trick or treating for candy, though. They were trick or treating for canned goods for the local food pantry for the homeless. They were darling, and so respectful, as well! i was thrilled to load up a couple of grocery bags with macaroni and cheese, and soup for them. It was nice to see teenagers thinking of other people and not themselves! They looked like they were having fun, too. The teacher who was with them had treats for them in his truck, and they would stop every couple of houses for some apple cider from thermoses. It was cool to see!

 

[Buckeye Princess]

Gah, that sounds awful.

Next year, keep two bowls of candy on a table BEHIND the door. Wait to assess the child.

If it's a nice, well-mannered, normal-acting child, bust out the bowl with the full-size bars and offer it happily.

If it's a brat, grab the bowl full of necco wafers, fun-size boxes of Dots, the chalky gross American Smarties and like, candy dots on paper, three, torn badly. Offer with a smile.

This is what I did in our old neighborhood. The kids were so nasty and bad. Not not to mention the uncostumed parents who would also have a bag held out. (I happily insist parents in costume take candy. My policy is if you put out the effort to dress up, regardless of age, I want to give you candy.)

 

[punkin]

OP - I'm sorry that happened to you, last night! I've been practicing with my 3 year old all week long. Last night, he walked up to doors, gave his best, "Trick or Treat!", waited for the candy to be dropped into his bucket, and then said, "Thank you!" I was so proud of him. After each house, he would turn around and jump up and down saying, "This is the BEST Halloween EVER!"

I was pleasantly surprised with the polite behavior we saw last night, as well. DH was thrilled, as he was handing out the candy. It was such fun to see the kids in their costumes.

We did have a group of teenagers who came around. They weren't trick or treating for candy, though. They were trick or treating for canned goods for the local food pantry for the homeless. They were darling, and so respectful, as well! i was thrilled to load up a couple of grocery bags with macaroni and cheese, and soup for them. It was nice to see teenagers thinking of other people and not themselves! They looked like they were having fun, too. The teacher who was with them had treats for them in his truck, and they would stop every couple of houses for some apple cider from thermoses. It was cool to see!

We got them very early in the evening and DH gave them canned salmon (the expensive one) instead of the canned tuna (which was right next to it in the pantry)...or the pasta boxes on the same shelf. (I'm a cheapskate, I know!) Anyway, everyone was polite and wonderful and we all had a great time last night.

I also want to mention that the costumes were very good. Since it was cold out, everyone was fully covered...no 13 yo "sexy nurses", thank goodness.

 

[crashbb]

This is what I did in our old neighborhood. The kids were so nasty and bad. Not not to mention the uncostumed parents who would also have a bag held out. (I happily insist parents in costume take candy. My policy is if you put out the effort to dress up, regardless of age, I want to give you candy.)

My nephew was a Swiss Guard this year and I went as a car (we had read Richard Scary a few weeks ago!). I did get offered candy at quite a few places (he's only 3, so we just hit the houses near his house). I didn't have a bag though, so it just went in with his (often with a "stern" reminder to him that it was his Auntie's goodie).

My friend posted on FB that, across the street from him, the family left out a bowl of candy. He was very impressed that everyone appeared to just take a single piece, even though no one was there.

 

[kimmar067]

Necco wafers are the WORST. Blech.

<<shudder>> yuck!

 

[kimmar067]

2 years ago on Halloween night we were packing to leave on vacation first thing the next morning. Our original flight had been Halloween afternoon but we had to reschedule to the next morning. So I decided not to pass out candy so we could get our packing done.

We made sure no lights were visible from the front of the house and it looked like we weren't home. A couple kids rang the doorbell as expected.

Then the doorbell rang twice pretty close together and someone started banging on the door with their fist. I looked out the peephole and it was an ADULT doing this. Seriously - you need the candy that badly?!!?!??! Their kid stood beside them laughing and the adult pounded away for several minutes.

....something similar happened to me almost 22 years ago, but it was with Jehovah's Witness people. After having no luck at the front door, they actually went around the back of my house, up on the deck, and were pounding on my sliding glass door!

 

[Mokat76]

I have great neighbors who are rasing terrific kids. All were polite and sweet. Cute costumes from the babies to the teens.

My boxer (dressed as a jack-o-lantern) and I sat on the porch because he's a sweetheart to all the kids as long as he meets them there. He got loved on while I gave out candy. Had we been indoors and they had to ring the bell, it would have been like they unleashed Cujo. I guess that might have stopped the grabbing and shenanigans at OP's house.

 

[momof1princess]

WOW, there are some serious horror stories on here!
i and our friends (a DH and DW) took our 3 kids out last night, and picked up two others, lol. they're all teenagers, ranging in age from 14-18. they all dressed up, as did my friends (they go all out, i just didn't have the energy for a costume, but i wasn't ToT either, just chauffeuring), and we all had a great time.

the kids we saw were very polite and almost all of them said thank you, as did ours. we hit 3 church trunk or treats, my friends' parents, a local convenience store (they give out hot dogs!) and city hall. by then, the kids all had their buckets almost full of candy, so, since it was cold, we packed it in and went home. DD15 and i got home at 8:06pm.

last year, when we and our friends went ToT, our friends left a big bowl of candy on the porch, so that any ToT who came by could help themselves. well, not only did all the candy disappear, but someone took their candy bowl! so, this year, they didn't leave anything out, and i don't blame them.

 

[AmazingGrace]

We live in the neighborhood that everyone comes to on Halloween. On the one hand, it's kinda frustrating not being able to drive down the street, but on the other hand, it's really cool,that so many people come to neighborhood. What frustrates me are the neighbors who don't want trick or tray eaters and will purposely park their vehicles all the back in their driveways, blocking the sidewalks. So instead of kids being safe on the sidewalks, you have kids having to go out on the streets around the peoples' cars. And yes, it's done intentionally. It was discussed at the last HOA meeting. Some neighbors don't want 'outsiders' coming in on Halloween. I'm like, come on, we don't live in a closed neighborhood. That's ridiculous.

 

[amid chaos]

We also live in a desirable trick or treat neighborhood and also have almost 50 kids living in the neighborhood. It is not unusual to get 100-150 kids. Many (many) years ago when my kids were trick or treating, an elderly neighbor, who had difficulty getting around, told me that she wanted to give treats and see all the neighborhood kids dressed up but was unable to handle the 2-3 hours of trick ot treaters. She said many of her elderly neighbors felt the same way. After discussing this with the other parents, it was decided that we would go as a large group. This way the elderly neighbors knew when the neighborhood kids came around (the big group) and could close their doors and shut their lights. I noticed last night that even after 10-15 years, the neighborhood families with young children are still doing this.

I had nothing but polite and wonderful kids of all ages come to the door last night. I had a ton of candy left over which has already been boxed up and sent to DS at college.

 

[OceanStateKelly]

Maybe its because they see this on TV shows like that kid hunny boo boo..

 

[2binak]

All of the kids (& parents) who visited our house were really polite. We even leave the bowl on the porch while we take DD around the neighborhood and always come back to candy left in the bowl. A few houses in our neighborhood leave their bowls out and we always hear parents saying "take just one piece."

At one of the houses though, as we walked away we could hear 3 kids, who are out of control on a good day, emptying the bowl as their mother was running up the street to catch up with them. Then we heard her yell as her kids ran to the next house, "I told you to take only one or two pieces each! You don't take everything. You need to leave some for other kids!" I told DH that if our DD did that, I'd make her go back & empty her entire bucket back into that bowl...even the candy she didn't get from that house. Dh agreed.

We have one neighbor, in her 40's and doesn't have kids, who makes kids say thank you before they can leave her porch. She doesn't even give kids a chance to say it themselves before she says, "and what are you supposed to say?"

 

[LukenDC]

I had an elderly woman trick-or-treater. She appeared to be in her 70's and was at my door by herself without a costume. I, of course, gave her some candy, but seeing her made me sad and put a damper on the evening.

 

[mhsjax]

That's funny, maybe that's a regional difference or something?

Not rudely grabbing handfuls - rude is rude. But if I'm reading your post correctly, for you, reaching into the bowl the kid's self is perceived as rude itself.

Here, at least in all my experience, both as a trick or treater and as a candy distributor, heh, a kid reaching in him or herself is totally normal. Some people do hand out themselves and you just hold open your bag or hold out your pumpkin, but plenty of people stand there with a big bowl in their hand talking to the parents or saying 'ooh, what a scary costume!' and kids are meant to rummage for themselves.

They're meant to take one item unless otherwise instructed, but lots of people have a variety of stuff in their bowls so kids take what they'd prefer. I usually have bags made up with non-candy and a bowl of various candies. I dunno what each kid likes, I hold the bowl, they take a bag and peer at the candy choices and pick.

I am in the south, and kids never reach into help themselves. We pass it out. If some kid reached in to my bowl, he would hear about it from me It is ALWAYS rude in our area and kids don't do it. They may ask for a certain kind and if they ask nicely, I am fine with that

 

[jetskigrl]

Well color me shocked! I get that little kids filled with sugar get excited and might behave badly. What I don' t get is the complete lack of parenting I witnessed tonight. I had one kid, about 8 or 9 slap the bowl of candy out of my hand and then try to grab it all. Mom stood their laughing. I had to get between him and tell him this was not acceptable. I asked " are you his mom" she said yes and just kept laughing. I told them to leave, and mom called me a bad word. I heard he did this at several houses, including an elderly lady, and he took her whole bowl all the candy and dumped the empty bowl in the street. A teacher a few doors down knew this child and scolded him and mom pretty badly, but who knows how many times he did this. What is wrong with people? I had another little one run in my house and up my stairs and under the bed chasing my cat. His dad was just on his cell phone letting me wrangle the kid out from under the bed to save my cat. This kid was too small to know any better, but dad was useless. I had several kids grab in the bowl and try to grab all the candy. I had some throw wrappers on my lawn. I had a lot of small children come with no parents. I don't fault the kids. I was just surprised by how many rude and badly behaved children came by. My husband said the same thing. Maybe it is just the neighborhood this year.

I have the utmost respect for teachers. No way could I ever deal with the children and their parents. I also want to give a shout out to all the parents who do parent their children. We had some lovely kids come by with excellent manners. You don't have to say thank you on Halloween. But it is nice to hear when they do. And if your kid does something inappropriate, teach them.

I just hate hearing stories like that. It seems to be happening more and more.

And I respectfully disagree with the comment about not having to say thank you on Halloween. I think anytime you receive a gift from another person (even if it is just a piece of candy), you should say thank you. If my ds didn't say that at each house, he wouldn't be out trick-or-treating. Although I admit that I did have to remind him a couple of times.

I also teach him that we waits for the person to offer the candy or if they hold out the bowl for him to select, he is just to take one. If they make the offer for him to have more, that is fine. But when he first reaches in, it is just one piece.

 

[rebeccaariel]

This is all so shocking! We had nothing but wonderful, polite kids who all said thank you and wished us a happy Halloween, even though their costumes were mostly covered with winter coats (I live in Canada ) Some even complimented us on our decorations.

I also did the trick-or-treating for canned goods when I was a teenager. Our whole school was encouraged to do it. We handed out flyers in the neighbourhood a few days before to let people know we would be coming. My friend brought a wagon and we ended up collecting the equivalent of about 4 wagons full of canned goods.

Maybe I just live in a polite area? I've never had a rude trick-or-treater. I'm so sorry to those who had such bad experiences!