"Bad Teacher" barks up the wrong tree!!!

[sunshinehighway]

I am actually finding my thread very disturbing to say the least. Accusing us of lying, making me out to be the bad guy and my son to be the criminal. It's pretty pathetic. My ds is in no way perfect. I always take what he tells me with a grain of salt. I know other kids in the class so I always call on them to confirm what ds is telling me. I am lucky to have those resources. He may not be the perfect student but he doesn't deserve to be "humiliated" MY WORDS not his. It shocks me that 75% of you disagree with me, and lash out at my son, myself, and the Principal. If we are not our own child's advocate, who will be?

Here's another one for ya......

In 3rd grade ds was coming home and telling me that his male teacher would grab him by the arm and squeeze it so tight it would cut his circulation off. He told me in October....I shrugged it off thinking he is probably exaggerating and there were no marks or bruises. He told me the same thing in November, I shrugged it off again. When he told me again in December, I decided it's time to investigate. I called other parents of kids who had this teacher in the past, and asked kids in the class presently. All said yes but their child never told them at the time, only when they were asked about it. What did I do??? I emailed the teacher and politely asked him to find another means of discipline that doesn't involve physical touch. His response...."Never did I grab him by the arm and squeeze it so tight, and I am CC ing the Principal in this email response". I never had any intentions on involving the Principal, HE got her involved. Did I remove my son from the class...NO because he never came home complaining that teacher grabbed his arm again after that. I should start a poll on how many of you think I made this one up .

What I am getting at here is that NO I DO NOT CODDLE MY SON. With that said, I will not let him be humiliated when he has no self confidence to begin with and struggles with anxiety. I will repeat myself for the umpteenth time here....I am not upset that she displayed his project and I don't think he should have special treatment, I am upset that she displayed the GRADE when he specifically asked her NOT to because he was "embarrassed". It's OPEN HOUSE and not appropriate. I am upset that when he was sick she refused him going to the nurse. He came home after school that day with a fever of 102.5 and was diagnosed with strep throat. I was upset because she gave his group a reading book to keep in the class. My son left his book on his desk at the end of the day. It disappeared over night and she harassed him saying he needs to buy her a new book. I'm sorry, if the book is on school property and never leaves the classroom, we are NOT responsible for the book. Stop scaring the kid saying he better buy a new one. Yes I confirmed that she did that with 3 other kids in the class and yes I kept it to myself instead of confronting her about it. These examples of her behavior was setting the bar for what the year was going to be like with her and I wasn't going to have it. How does that make me such a bad guy because I had him removed from her class and things are much better and happier? To answer a question, he is stuck with his 5th grade teacher for the whole day, we do not switch classes in this school.

You seem to have this idea that people are out to get your son. You describe the teacher as harassing him and scaring him because of the book. That's a bit much. Should the teacher just have said "oh that a - ok that you lost the book"? Regardless of where or how he lost it, it was his responsibility.

It seems weird that you have all these serious problems with teacher, peanut thing, physical abuse, yet you wait until the open house to go all out.

I know other poster won't agree with me doing this but I don't care. You have posted numerous times about your sons having problems with both lying and rules. You have posted about your son having difficulties in school before because he doesn't like school and doesn't pay attention. You have even posted about wild, out of control behavior at home.

There is so much more going on with your son than he felt humiliated by a bad grade. You are doing him no favors by the way you defend and coddle him. Yes, you do seem to coddle him. I wish the best for you and your children. I hope you realize these teachers are not out to get him, nor is his brother and you get him the help he needs.

 

[aaarcher86]

You seem to have this idea that people are out to get your son. You describe the teacher as harassing him and scaring him because of the book. That's a bit much. Should the teacher just have said "oh that a - ok that you lost the book"? Regardless of where or how he lost it, it was his responsibility. It seems weird that you have all these serious problems with teacher, peanut thing, physical abuse, yet you wait until the open house to go all out. I know other poster won't agree with me doing this but I don't care. You have posted numerous times about your sons having problems with both lying and rules. You have posted about your son having difficulties in school before because he doesn't like school and doesn't pay attention. You have even posted about wild, out of control behavior at home. There is so much more going on with your son than he felt humiliated by a bad grade. You are doing him no favors by the way you defend and coddle him. Yes, you do seem to coddle him. I wish the best for you and your children. I hope you realize these teachers are not out to get him, nor is his brother and you get him the help he needs.

Can't disagree.

 

[kellyg403]

Can't disagree.

Ditto. But, I do believe in different strokes for different folks.

Kelly

 

[rgf207]

I am actually finding my thread very disturbing to say the least. Accusing us of lying, making me out to be the bad guy and my son to be the criminal. It's pretty pathetic. My ds is in no way perfect. I always take what he tells me with a grain of salt. I know other kids in the class so I always call on them to confirm what ds is telling me. I am lucky to have those resources. He may not be the perfect student but he doesn't deserve to be "humiliated" MY WORDS not his. It shocks me that 75% of you disagree with me, and lash out at my son, myself, and the Principal. If we are not our own child's advocate, who will be?

Here's another one for ya......

In 3rd grade ds was coming home and telling me that his male teacher would grab him by the arm and squeeze it so tight it would cut his circulation off. He told me in October....I shrugged it off thinking he is probably exaggerating and there were no marks or bruises. He told me the same thing in November, I shrugged it off again. When he told me again in December, I decided it's time to investigate. I called other parents of kids who had this teacher in the past, and asked kids in the class presently. All said yes but their child never told them at the time, only when they were asked about it. What did I do??? I emailed the teacher and politely asked him to find another means of discipline that doesn't involve physical touch. His response...."Never did I grab him by the arm and squeeze it so tight, and I am CC ing the Principal in this email response". I never had any intentions on involving the Principal, HE got her involved. Did I remove my son from the class...NO because he never came home complaining that teacher grabbed his arm again after that. I should start a poll on how many of you think I made this one up .

What I am getting at here is that NO I DO NOT CODDLE MY SON. With that said, I will not let him be humiliated when he has no self confidence to begin with and struggles with anxiety. I will repeat myself for the umpteenth time here....I am not upset that she displayed his project and I don't think he should have special treatment, I am upset that she displayed the GRADE when he specifically asked her NOT to because he was "embarrassed". It's OPEN HOUSE and not appropriate. I am upset that when he was sick she refused him going to the nurse. He came home after school that day with a fever of 102.5 and was diagnosed with strep throat. I was upset because she gave his group a reading book to keep in the class. My son left his book on his desk at the end of the day. It disappeared over night and she harassed him saying he needs to buy her a new book. I'm sorry, if the book is on school property and never leaves the classroom, we are NOT responsible for the book. Stop scaring the kid saying he better buy a new one. Yes I confirmed that she did that with 3 other kids in the class and yes I kept it to myself instead of confronting her about it. These examples of her behavior was setting the bar for what the year was going to be like with her and I wasn't going to have it. How does that make me such a bad guy because I had him removed from her class and things are much better and happier? To answer a question, he is stuck with his 5th grade teacher for the whole day, we do not switch classes in this school.

What would you like us to say? Why don't you give us a list of responses that we are all allowed to write and we can pick from that list. It seems like you don't want us to form any opinion unless we agree 100% with yours.

I notice a pattern here.
1. You have some sort of vendetta against teachers
2. You seem to take your child's word as gospel and never consider there may be another side to the story

I think your best bet would be to homeschool your son as he has the absolute worst luck with teachers.

And regarding the book. Who told you he left it on the desk? Did your son tell you that or the teacher? Did you verify that the conversation went exactly as stated? Did the teacher "harass" your son to buy a new book? How are you confirming all this? You state you talked to 3 other kids. Do you call their parents or talk directly to them?

 

[declansdad]

Right???

Child's embarrassed a grade is made public, mom freaks... A teacher PHYSICALLY grabs the child and mom sends an email.

Mmmmmmmmkay.

sarcasm.

 

[aaarcher86]

Ditto. But, I do believe in different strokes for different folks. Kelly

Can't disagree with that either lol

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

sarcasm.

Oh I know...I was agreeing with your sarcasm lol.

 

[wvjules]

So I've done a bad bad thing and read older posts about this son and all I can say is wow. He's not some shy wallflower. It is enlightening.

 

[rgf207]

So I've done a bad bad thing and read older posts about this son and all I can say is wow. He's not some shy wallflower. It is enlightening.

so there's a chance that he may NOT be telling the truth about these past events? Shocking I tell you, Shocking!!!

 

[luvsJack]

OP, there is one thing you will find here. It is almost always your kid's fault. Rarely is there a thread about a kid's problem at school that anyone says "Oh, yeah, BAD teacher". And even when other teachers are appalled by a teacher's actions, others will stand by their assertion that its the kid not the teacher.

Plus, no parent that posts here regularly ever gets involved in anything for their kid. No matter the age, some one is going to say their child was handling their own issues at a younger age than that. I am waiting for the thread about the 3 year old in t-ball that should be able to talk to the coach himself about the other kid knocking him down every day at practice.



The vast majority of teachers are hard working individuals who adore their students and always do their best by them. Doesn't mean there aren't some bad apples and it doesn't mean that none of them make a bad decision.

In all the years that my kids were in elementary school did they come home telling me something a teacher or administrator did that was a complete lie. Most of it was completely true and all of it was enough of exact truth to still be an issue with the teacher or administrator.

If you feel strongly that you did the right thing, then be ok with it.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I have to agree with a lot of the post above.

But, you know, it is funny...
The same parents who would NEVER get involved in anything that might actually be necessary and beneficial to their child, to actually advocate for a child when necessary, are majorly over-involved in personal/social things like forcing their child to be friends with and socialize with another child, because that is what meets the parents agenda.

And what is even worse, is just how fast the assumptions, false accusations, and holier-than-thou comments, and the ladies' CLAWS come out, at the slightest difference of opinion. I am surprized that the OP did not see this coming when she posted!!! It is a 'given' that one can count on.

Sure, this one incident with the poor grade might not seem to be enough to blink at.
But, sometimes it is a very small drop that can overflow the bucket????

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

I think OP keeps her bucket full just waiting for that drop

 

[lukenick1]

OP, there is one thing you will find here. It is almost always your kid's fault. Rarely is there a thread about a kid's problem at school that anyone says "Oh, yeah, BAD teacher". And even when other teachers are appalled by a teacher's actions, others will stand by their assertion that its the kid not the teacher.

Plus, no parent that posts here regularly ever gets involved in anything for their kid. No matter the age, some one is going to say their child was handling their own issues at a younger age than that. I am waiting for the thread about the 3 year old in t-ball that should be able to talk to the coach himself about the other kid knocking him down every day at practice.



The vast majority of teachers are hard working individuals who adore their students and always do their best by them. Doesn't mean there aren't some bad apples and it doesn't mean that none of them make a bad decision.

In all the years that my kids were in elementary school did they come home telling me something a teacher or administrator did that was a complete lie. Most of it was completely true and all of it was enough of exact truth to still be an issue with the teacher or administrator.

If you feel strongly that you did the right thing, then be ok with it.

I am 100% ok with what I did, it just amazes me how many others think I did something horrible.

 

[lukenick1]

I have to agree with a lot of the post above.

But, you know, it is funny...
The same parents who would NEVER get involved in anything that might actually be necessary and beneficial to their child, to actually advocate for a child when necessary, are majorly over-involved in personal/social things like forcing their child to be friends with and socialize with another child, because that is what meets the parents agenda.

And what is even worse, is just how fast the assumptions, false accusations, and holier-than-thou comments, and the ladies' CLAWS come out, at the slightest difference of opinion. I am surprized that the OP did not see this coming when she posted!!! It is a 'given' that one can count on.

Sure, this one incident with the poor grade might not seem to be enough to blink at.
But, sometimes it is a very small drop that can overflow the bucket????

Wish the DIS had a "like" button.

I guess I don't frequent this board enough to realize the magnitude of personal attacks. Lesson learned. On that note....beautiful day out here in the North.

 

[mjkacmom]

I am 100% ok with what I did, it just amazes me how many others think I did something horrible.

I have 5 kids in school, know MANY parents and children, and have never heard of anyone switching classes. If it even happened here, I'm sure there was some very serious issues, and many steps were taken to rectify the situation (involving the parent, student, teacher, principal, and maybe superintendent).

I'm shocked that a parent could storm into the principal's office, and demand their child be moved to another classroom, and actually have it happen! I'm also shocked that a parent would behave that way in front others, especially children.

According to you, half of the students had their failing grades displayed. Why didn't they have their kids moved, as well? I agree Open House is not for showing graded assignments, I might even have been annoyed. But there is absolutely NOTHING this teacher did that would make me demand another teacher!

A missing book that needed to be paid for (which you said was left on your ds's desk, instead of being put away). Being sent home sick with strep (dd17 once had strep for an entire week before I believed her and brought her to the doctor - that's on her for pretending to be sick too much). Someone else mentioned that you have portrayed your ds as a liar in the past - maybe the teacher didn't believe him.

You overreacted.

 

[declansdad]

OP, there is one thing you will find here. It is almost always your kid's fault. Rarely is there a thread about a kid's problem at school that anyone says "Oh, yeah, BAD teacher". And even when other teachers are appalled by a teacher's actions, others will stand by their assertion that its the kid not the teacher.

Are you kidding me!!! We must not read the same board, there are teacher bashing threads on here all the time. It seems to be a sport for some people.

 

[smitch425]

But, you know, it is funny...
The same parents who would NEVER get involved in anything that might actually be necessary and beneficial to their child, to actually advocate for a child when necessary, are majorly over-involved in personal/social things like forcing their child to be friends with and socialize with another child, because that is what meets the parents agenda.

Oh good grief... That thread has nothing to do with this. I haven't seen one person say that they wouldn't have discussed the situation with the teacher, just that OP went overboard by running to the principal without speaking to the teacher first. That thread got closed, and getting your digs in here because you can't do it there is sad.

 

[luvsJack]

Are you kidding me!!! We must not read the same board, there are teacher bashing threads on here all the time. It seems to be a sport for some people.

I have seen those. And it seems to me that most of the ones that are bashing teachers are usually about teacher's pay, days off or the lack there of, etc.

Most of the time if a thread starts about a kid's problems about a teacher end up bashing the kid and/or the parent.

Things do happen that are not the kid's fault. Things do happen that requires a parent to get involved.

And way too many people don't believe something the OP says based on whether they have ever seen it happen. Just because something does not happen in your school does not mean it doesn't happen. Kids switch classes all the time due to parent requests at our community elementary school. Its a small school, everyone knows everyone. The parent request a change for one reason or another and it happens.

 

[sam_gordon]

OP, there is one thing you will find here. It is almost always your kid's fault. Rarely is there a thread about a kid's problem at school that anyone says "Oh, yeah, BAD teacher". And even when other teachers are appalled by a teacher's actions, others will stand by their assertion that its the kid not the teacher.

When you were a kid, if you came home and told your parents your teacher was mean or embarrassed you, what would their response be? I'm guessing they would side with the teacher.

That being said, while some have said displaying the grades was OK, there have been plenty of people saying the teacher shouldn't have (displayed the grades), BUT the OP still over reacted.

 

[luvsJack]

When you were a kid, if you came home and told your parents your teacher was mean or embarrassed you, what would their response be? I'm guessing they would side with the teacher.

That being said, while some have said displaying the grades was OK, there have been plenty of people saying the teacher shouldn't have (displayed the grades), BUT the OP still over reacted.

Not necessarily. I had a PE teacher that disliked me for some reason in 6th grade. First they gave me some suggestions on how to handle it, then they talked to the teacher and the principal. Finally, there was one last straw when she said something very hurtful to me. My dad did the same thing the OP did, he stormed into the principal's office and told him that I would be moved from the PE class that day. After that day, I had a study hall with the high school kids during that class time. And I also learned the very valuable lesson that when the chips were down my Dad was ALWAYS on my side and he always had my back.

I don't believe in whole heartedly siding with anyone from the get go. There is usually some truth to what your kids say. Find the happy medium. And if your child needs you to be there to stick up for them, you should be. Its called parenting.

Its not only not "ok" to display grades it is illegal. Which may be the reason the principal was so agreeable to switch her son's class.

None of us can say she overreacted unless we know everything that has gone on between her son, herself and the teacher. It could have just been the proverbial straw and the thing that made it all come to a head. Just like the final thing that PE teacher said to me was for my dad.