"Bad Teacher" barks up the wrong tree!!!

[lauradis]

No, first he's always way more upset about a grade than I am. He's very hard on himself. We talk about what he can do to get a better grade next time. Often I'll need to remind him and he almost always does what I say (study more, do some more practice problems, etc). If he doesn't then he'll get punished (which for him is usually us taking a privilege away).

I really disagree with parents punishing children for bad grades.

Bad grades are a sign of a simple didn't learn subject material, or child is weak in that subject, or they truly have learning disability.

One bad test isn't the end of the world it's a sign.

Yes I read the part about more work practice and study what I don't see is it only up to him/ her to do this alone with only reminders,

Parents should be responsible for helping not just reminding. Sitting at the table helping to go over study and worksheets or whatever, if my child is struggling I'm there not doing other things.

Maybe I got you post wrong if so sorry.

 

[smitch425]

No, first he's always way more upset about a grade than I am. He's very hard on himself. We talk about what he can do to get a better grade next time. Often I'll need to remind him and he almost always does what I say (study more, do some more practice problems, etc). If he doesn't then he'll get punished (which for him is usually us taking a privilege away).

OT, but he sounds just like my DS. In first grade, there was an incident on the playground in which a kid (who had gotten in trouble at school numerous times) approached DS and was nose to nose with him. DS panicked and pushed him backwards (not at all hard, teacher saw the whole thing). Unfortunately the playground aide saw DS push him, and not being familiar with either child in question, she sent DS to the principal's office, which I would fully expect her to. The principal called me to let me know that everything was okay, but that DS was very upset that he had done that and he was just trying to get him away (back was against a wall, literally ). She told me she normally wouldn't call over something like this, but that it took 5 minutes for him to calm down enough to even tell her what happened (because he was crying so hard), and she wanted to warn me that there could be an encore performance. Sure enough, the bus pulled up and he slithered down the steps and melted into a puddle on the ground right at my feet. Poor thing cried for 10 minutes before he could tell me what happened. He is my "cannot tell a lie/can't hide anything" kid.DD on the other hand...well...she never lies about anything major, but let's just say that she can't be trusted around chocolate.

OP, I think your son's initial reaction of the paper being on the desk had less to do with public humiliation and more to do with Mom and Dad being mad when they saw it. I really do hope the new teacher works out for him. Hopefully the rest of the year will go smoothly. Best of luck.

 

[Sabeking]

My DD had an extremely tough fifth grade teacher. I was shocked at some of the humiliating comments she made to my DD who struggled due to dyslexia and ADD. She begged me to take her out of that class and it broke my heart to hear some of the things going on in that classroom. That being said; we did not take her out. We parented her through it. At the end of the year when I asked my DD what she learned besides academics, she talked about her character and how she dealt with that teacher. I was so proud! I really feel when we try to save our children from dealing with certain negative situations we cheat them out of the opportunity to grow personally. I have done this myself and have found out that those same situations just keep popping up till they are faced head on. Good luck I hope things improve.

 

[Maverick0980]

I may be wrong here but shouldn't grades be kept confidential?

I had a lot of teachers who posted scores and grades openly in class. Usually after tests they'd just put the class roll on a wall with your score, percentage and grade.

 

[Art 1]

I had a lot of teachers who posted scores and grades openly in class. Usually after tests they'd just put the class roll on a wall with your score, percentage and grade.

I had teachers who sat the students front to back according to test scores, top scores in front and lower in the back. It's just shocking how we coddle students today. Crises passes. Wow. Grief counselors. Wow. Toughen up people.

Maybe it would be good if schools brought the paddle back. That really kept students in line the threat of it being used. Students who couldn't sit still learned real quick how to. Now we give them medicine to calm them down.

 

[Jey12]

Just so I'm reading this correctly you had enough and pulled your child from a classroom because of a bad grade on a paper mache project and they weren't happy about it? Yet you left your child in a class with a teacher who did peanut butter projects (who in their right mind would let 5 year olds "play" with peanut butter? but anyway.....) you left him in this classroom when he has a deathly allergy to peanuts? What?

Honestly it seems to me you already had a preconceived notion that this was a bad teacher before the year started, due to reports from other parents. Yet you decided to let your child be placed in this class anyway because your child thought they liked the teacher. So basically you're saying you were going to let your child find out and decide for themselves how this teacher really is. Yet when they discovered the teacher was in fact hard to deal with, instead of letting your child learn from their mistake in judgement, you rage in and fix the problem. Your principal sounds like ours. Fantastic with the kids, pushover when it comes to silencing complaining parents. While it's up to you if you should ask for a classroom change, I really feel the principal was out of line in doing so on a whim in the middle of open house. What should have happened was a meeting should have been schedule between you, your DH and the teacher with the principal acting as a third party. Then you could voice your concerns rationally and calmly, or yelled and screamed, up to you. The teacher could have had a chance to explain their side of the situation and at the end the principal could have offered solutions to the issue or agreed to the switch. I have a feeling if you've been in this school since kindergarten this isn't the first time you've stormed into the principal's office. Probably why the principal just agreed to the switch on the spot.

My question is did you talk to your son about his feelings about going to another classroom? Even though he wasn't happy at that moment chances are good he's formed friendships and other types of bonds with the schedule of the class and the other kids in it. You may find new problems popping up due to the switch you didn't give yourself time to talk or think about. Even though he knows kids in the other class, he will be viewed as a new kid. The class routine will be slightly different and he will need to adjust to that. If he thinks you're going to come storming in every time he has an issue he may not work as hard to fit into the new class. Does your school not switch classes for different things during the day? DD is in 2nd grade and honestly she's hardly ever in her actual classroom. Between library, PE, music, art and then she goes to the other classrooms with the other teachers for reading and science. Basically she's only with her assigned teacher for math and the basic class studies. Switching her would be pointless.

To be honest I'm not even with the other parents on here. If my child received a 44 on a paper mache project I wouldn't care at all. Probably just me. If she received a 44 because she failed to follow directions or pay attention then we'd have a talk about how it's important to give the same focus in all of her subjects. Even ones we think aren't important. Otherwise my response would have been sometimes some days are better than others, how about you show me your other projects?

While I can understand your frustration I just cannot agree with your end goal here. DD7 is on the gym team and has been since she was 4. This year she ended up in a very tough coach's class. I had been warned about the actions and ways of this coach from other parents. I'd be lying if I said that didn't affect how I viewed the class from day 1. Sometimes I wish other parents would keep their thoughts to themselves. I agree, the coach is tough. She does not teach the way the other coaches do, she's rough with the kids, says things to them I find to not be very motivating and is just super tough on these little kids. I've seen my child and others cry due to her ways during class more than once. I could switch DD out and have another coach, but I'm not going to. Instead I have spoken with DD about this, offered her up techniques and ways to deal with the coach and ways to communicate her feelings beyond crying with the issues she's having. Since she's 7 I have also stepped in when I thought it was too much and had an adult conversation with the coach. Still I won't pull DD from her. DD needs to learn how to deal with coaches and teachers and eventually bosses you don't get along with. Even at the age of 7 I feel she needs to learn that she is the only one responsible for her motivation, not her teachers, friends or even her parents. I will have her back, but it's up to her to focus and complete the tasks she's being given. If she can only do that when she's receiving warm fuzzy hugs the real world is going to be a very tough place for her 15 years from now.

 

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

Don't forget the testrome in males has been declining for decades also plays part.

Plus everything must be fair and equal, pc, no winners or losers, nanny state.

Wow typing all that makes me sad for my 10 yr old dd hope she can find real man. Sad

She will be able to meet someone,

just tell her to date a veteran.

 

[PizzieDuster]

As a teacher who has received two students two different years because of issues, its not easy for the "new" teacher to receive these transfers either. Its awkward for all involved. Except maybe for the parent who feels vindicated...I wish parents would talk about their concerns instead of automatically requesting a transfer. ...and fyi I am also a teacher with a reputation for being tough, but I've had my toughest kids come back and thank me for pushing them. I've had parents of "problem" kids thank me for pushing their child. I didn't get into this to hurt kids...

Your post reminds me of a letter I received when my son was a junior in high school. It's on my bulletin board still, after 7 years. My son had a tough teacher. He learned why she was so tough. Because she cared. She started the letter by stating this "I'm a firm believer that if you think something is good, you should say so. It's for that reason I am writing to say it was a pleasure to have ___ in my class."

And ended it "He is one of those rare people who is able to manage sports, academics and responsibility. You should be very proud of your son."

It meant the world to me. It meant more to my son, who was in shock when he read it! It clicked to him what she was teaching him (more than just doing your homework). I send her a Christmas card (has our family's picture) every year. She didn't have to send that note. But I treasure it. Because, she was TOUGH but she knew what she was doing! She was preparing him for college. And she was successful.

 

[kellyg403]

I had this long post written out and changed my mind.

No, I wouldn't have thrown a tantrum and made the principal change the classroom. No, I don't believe we have the whole story, just some assumptions. OP says her 'friends' told her they saw the grades and at least 50% were bad. Bad is relative, were 50% less than an A or 50% less than a D?

Do I feel badly for your son that he was embarrassed and hurt over his grade. Yes, and I definitely would have taken the opportunity to stand by my son with the teacher and explain to her that it was unacceptable. If need be I would request a conference with teacher and principal present. Teaching my child that you stand up for yourself in the correct way.

And after raising 10 children, boys are not tougher or different. Yeah, they might have different needs in certain ways, but to say boys get a pass because they are boys is ridiculous. Boys will be boys is the dumbest thing I ever heard of. They need to learn to control themselves and work hard just like their female counterparts. I also want to throw in I am not one to take what my children tell me about parents, teachers anything as 100% accurate. Notice I didn't say lying. Kids have the sin of omission. They see the big picture and miss the details of the situation until they start to mature.

OP, I don't agree with showing all the grades to everyone. But I heartily disagree with how it was handled. As for the whole beat the teacher up because 1/2 her class is failing according to the other parents, I am not buying it. Sounds like a lot of drama and assumptions. I don't worry about others kids grades anyway. The OP basically made this sound like a craft project anyway as opposed to any learning project. And all the posts regarding confidentiality etc. I never knew that. I know at college orientation we were given the speech, "Your kids are grown, grades are theirs the bill is yours'. I trusted my college age students enough to know that they would work hard, because they trusted I would yank their butt from college and not pay anymore if they didn't remain responsible. So, its interesting to note that grades are confidential information.

Kelly

 

[Skywalker]

OP you said you were upset that your son specifically asked and she disregarded his plea and that is what upset you? Perhaps it is time you taught your son that people are allowed to say no to him, and that is a perfectly valid answer. He better get used to it. Don't you ever say no to something and that upsets your son? (I hope so!)

Schools wanted involved parents...now they have parents involved to the point of meddling, coddling and demanding...careful what you wish for lol.

 

[sunshinehighway]

OP you said you were upset that your son specifically asked and she disregarded his plea and that is what upset you? Perhaps it is time you taught your son that people are allowed to say no to him, and that is a perfectly valid answer. He better get used to it. Don't you ever say no to something and that upsets your son? (I hope so!)

Schools wanted involved parents...now they have parents involved to the point of meddling, coddling and demanding...careful what you wish for lol.

Right. She was showing everyone's project, why should she make a special exception for him? I'm sure teachers hear all types of pleas and requests from students all the time. They can't just give every student what they ask for. Maybe there was some point the teacher was trying to make with the projects but the Op missed it because she was storming off and creating drama.

Maybe the kid didn't feel humiliated and discouraged. Maybe he just knows what to say to manipulate mommy and get her to do what he wants.

 

[Disney Doll]

It's threads like these that make me glad I'm not a teacher.

Prepare your child for the path, not the path for your child.

A big shout out thank you to my parents who would have handled this way differently and taught me a valuable life lesson.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I really disagree with parents punishing children for bad grades.

Bad grades are a sign of a simple didn't learn subject material, or child is weak in that subject, or they truly have learning disability.

One bad test isn't the end of the world it's a sign.

Yes I read the part about more work practice and study what I don't see is it only up to him/ her to do this alone with only reminders,

Parents should be responsible for helping not just reminding. Sitting at the table helping to go over study and worksheets or whatever, if my child is struggling I'm there not doing other things.

Maybe I got you post wrong if so sorry.

Oh no, I do help him when it's needed. If its a case of him not understanding something or if it's writing (he has a writing disability), I do help him understand. Honestly, I love teaching. I used to be a para and just loved the small group teaching that I did daily, so if anything, I go overboard on that at home. When it's a case of just not studying or trying to rush through homework, that's the type if thing I have to remind him about.

 

[Liberty Belle]

OT, but he sounds just like my DS. In first grade, there was an incident on the playground in which a kid (who had gotten in trouble at school numerous times) approached DS and was nose to nose with him. DS panicked and pushed him backwards (not at all hard, teacher saw the whole thing). Unfortunately the playground aide saw DS push him, and not being familiar with either child in question, she sent DS to the principal's office, which I would fully expect her to. The principal called me to let me know that everything was okay, but that DS was very upset that he had done that and he was just trying to get him away (back was against a wall, literally ). She told me she normally wouldn't call over something like this, but that it took 5 minutes for him to calm down enough to even tell her what happened (because he was crying so hard), and she wanted to warn me that there could be an encore performance. Sure enough, the bus pulled up and he slithered down the steps and melted into a puddle on the ground right at my feet. Poor thing cried for 10 minutes before he could tell me what happened. He is my "cannot tell a lie/can't hide anything" kid.DD on the other hand...well...she never lies about anything major, but let's just say that she can't be trusted around chocolate.

OP, I think your son's initial reaction of the paper being on the desk had less to do with public humiliation and more to do with Mom and Dad being mad when they saw it. I really do hope the new teacher works out for him. Hopefully the rest of the year will go smoothly. Best of luck.

Omg yes, that is my son. He has attempted to lie a few times, but always fesses up within minutes. Lol Every teacher he's had has remarked about how honest he is.

 

[declansdad]

No we wouldn't. If you read my post again, it clearly states that I am upset that she disregarded my sons feelings about having his bad grade displayed. If he had a good grade and was happy with it this would never have been an issue. I would have still wondered why grades were displayed though. I have never seen that before at an open house.

I didn't think so.

You over-reacted by running to the principal 2 months into the school year. No principal I have known would ever move a child so quickly without having another reason. Either you have a reputation and they felt this was the easiest solution; or, there is something wrong with the teacher. If it is the teacher, the principal certainly made the wrong decision.

 

[Lorelei Lee]

I had teachers who sat the students front to back according to test scores, top scores in front and lower in the back. It's just shocking how we coddle students today. Crises passes. Wow. Grief counselors. Wow. Toughen up people.

Maybe it would be good if schools brought the paddle back. That really kept students in line the threat of it being used. Students who couldn't sit still learned real quick how to. Now we give them medicine to calm them down.

Shaking my head here. . .

 

[tajz90]

My 10 yr old 5th grader was publicly humiliated by his teacher. While preparing the classroom for Open House, the teacher was putting the class projects with the grade on their desks to display. My son saw her putting his out on his desk and he said to her "Please don't put that on my desk because I got a bad grade". He got a 44. Her response was "Nope its going right on your desk for your parents to see". What she should have said was, "It's going on your desk for your parents and anyone else who feels inclined to look at it to see how horrible you did"! My son was so upset and ashamed of his grade but yet she completely disregarded his feelings and put it there anyway. When he told me he didn't want to go to Open House I couldn't understand why, and that is when he told me. Believe me, I was on a mission when I got to the school because I couldn't imagine a teacher doing that to him or anyone. Boy was I shocked when I got to the room and saw for myself what she had done. I marched straight to the Principle and demanded my son be removed from her classroom the next morning. What a nasty person........
Thanks for listening!

Open house shouldn't be a place for displaying GRADES! I agree, the grade thing was wrong and ridiculous. Display the project, sure, but the grade, no. Doesn't matter if it's a good grade or bad one, open house isn't the time for displaying grades. It's meant to display what the students are working on, their art, poems.... Etc.

 

[skatalite]

This has NOTHING to do with CC. And I'm sure the page you've linked to is unbiased.

It's actually a really neat link! Click it to see what it does.

 

[lauradis]

Shaking my head here. . .

Art1 makes good point in last sentence.

You know what 99% of school shootings have in common besides a gun, mental illness and mood altering drugs given by parents and nurses at school.

But lets not talk about that because its video games and guns that are evil.

 

[sam_gordon]

It's actually a really neat link! Click it to see what it does.

OK. Still doesn't explain the need to bring up CC.