Bad Moms, please share your misery!

[paintnolish]

So, today was a special breakfast with moms at dd's school. She wore a special dress, I had the camera all ready, I was even showered and had make up on (a rarity before school!). We got to school and I waited in the lot until 8:15...yeah, it was over. It had been from 7:45-8:15. I wanted to die. I went to her classroom and talked to her in the hall. She started crying (she's 7) andI barely made it out before I turned into a bawling mess for 30 minutes. I do have a lot going on...leaving for my sister's wedding in TN today, I had midterms and papers this week and the last (full time student), stress at work (written tests for a server!), and my gma went into the ICU last night. So, please, tell me I did not scar her for life. The images of her sitting alone will haunt me forever.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Oh yea...plenty of those moments, except it gets worse.

Last one I missed..my oldest had her HS Orientation, something of course I was looking forward too. Yea we missed it.
DD told me it was open house, um not.

I can never repeat that. Not that it is a huge deal but I had been looking forward to it for a long time.

My youngest won first place in a competition and I missed the presentation deal too.

Yep..I am bad.

 

[lovesmurfs]

Oh, been there. You're not a bad mom. Life happens, and kids are resilient.

When she comes home, can you do something special with her? Sit down ice cream place or something, just the 2 of you?

When my DD was 7, I would watch her go to the bus stop at our corner. Then I'd pile my son in the car and take him to middle school and go straight to work -- I would normally check to make sure she'd been picked up before leaving with DS. On Valentine's Day, she was laden with treats, and we were running late. Apparently, so was the bus. I forgot to check to see whether she'd been picked up. When she got home, she said that she had cried and run after our car, because the bus hadn't shown up, and everyone else had gone back to their various houses. Aggghhh. The bus did come eventually, and she had a good time at school, but that fear is something she and I will always remember. (we had a conversation about what she would have done if the bus hadn't shown up). I've tried to slow down since then -- B complex vitamins have also helped!

 

[Cindy's Mom]

Just yesterday my BFF reminded me of this one:

Last year, DD 2nd grade, DS in K. I drop the kids off at school and then I go on my way to catch my train for work.

I'm on the train and the school calls me. Turns out the kindergartners didn't have school that day.

I say "I'm already on the train, let me find someone to get him" I called a friend who also had a kindergartner and she took my boy for the day.

 

[xoprincessmomxo]

to you and to your daughter.

As for bad parenting, my dad once left my baby brother asleep in the car in his car seat for the entire night! Neither he nor my mom realized untill we were all having breakfast and we couldn't find him. My dad went out to the car and he was still in his car seat fast asleep. He's 24 now and not scarred for life.

 

[JoBird]

Awww, I'm so sad for both of you. your post made me tear up. I'm so sorry. It seems you have a lot going on. You're still a great Mom.. you're just a busy Mom.

We've all done things as Moms that break our hearts. All of us.

Take your baby in your arms and tell her you love her- she knows it already... but somehow, sitting in Mom's lap, with your arms around her- will make it all feel better.

Then, promise her that you'll do a girls night out-
both of you put your best dress on and go out to a fancy dinner.

She's going to forgive you, you have to try to forgive yourself.

You'e a great Mom...

Hang in there, hon.

Jo

 

[beckmrk04]

to you and to your daughter.

As for bad parenting, my dad once left my baby brother asleep in the car in his car seat for the entire night! Neither he nor my mom realized untill we were all having breakfast and we couldn't find him. My dad went out to the car and he was still in his car seat fast asleep. He's 24 now and not scarred for life.

Ok, that's just funny in a so-glad-it-turned-out-ok sort of way.

 

[N&B'smom]

Oh my gosh, the child left in the car seat all night freaked me out! Your poor father must have felt horribly!!

OP - I'm sorry. You poor thing. You have a lot on your plate so don't beat yourself up about it. It happens to everyone. The fact this is bothering you so much proves what a wonderful, loving mom you are.

When my DS was in kindergarten I had my mom scheduled to pick him up one day because my car was getting serviced. So, I was at home with no car when the phone rang and it was his school. Turns out he had an early dismissal that day that I had totally forgotten about! The rest of the kids had all been picked up except him.

The funny thing was, my mom was actually AT the school because she always got there very early when she was planning to pick him up. She was parked in the parking lot. So, they peeked out and saw her in the car and everything was fine. But I felt HORRIBLY!!! It was all my fault because I forgot to tell her it was an early dismissal day. But my DS, who thought I was perfection (and still does ) blamed my mom. It didn't matter that I told him it was my fault and I forgot to tell her, he didn't buy it and it was all Grandmom's fault.

Then there was the time my mom somehow managed to lock him in the car in his car seat. It was one of the ones that came down over the shoulders and he couldn't open it. (too hard!) I arrived and when he saw me he put his little hand up to the window so I could put my hand on there too. It was so sad, poor little guy, he was crying.

Anyway, OP, like I said before, don't beat yourself up about it. You went in and talked to your DD, I'm sure she's fine now. Just give her some extra love when she gets home!!

Shelby

 

[NY Disney fan]

As for bad parenting, my dad once left my baby brother asleep in the car in his car seat for the entire night! Neither he nor my mom realized untill we were all having breakfast and we couldn't find him. My dad went out to the car and he was still in his car seat fast asleep. He's 24 now and not scarred for life.

If that happened to me my hair would have gone gray the next day - completely.

I'm so glad you started this thread OP. I'm a new mom and I know I will make some mistakes too. I'm glad I'm learning now.

 

[SamIAm21]

My daughter can either take her lunch to school or she can have hot lunch, which is pre-ordered the month before. I once forgot to pack her a lunch on a day, when she was NOT SCHEDULED for hot lunch. The gave her a granola bar and "some kind of meat stick" (her words, not mine). My poor kid went hungry all day because she doesn't eat unidentifiable meat.

I work downtown Chicago and couldn't get a lunch to her. My DH works out on the railroad and he couldn't get there fast enough either. I felt completely horrible the rest of the day.

 

[C.Ann]

So, today was a special breakfast with moms at dd's school. She wore a special dress, I had the camera all ready, I was even showered and had make up on (a rarity before school!). We got to school and I waited in the lot until 8:15...yeah, it was over. It had been from 7:45-8:15. I wanted to die. I went to her classroom and talked to her in the hall. She started crying (she's 7) andI barely made it out before I turned into a bawling mess for 30 minutes. I do have a lot going on...leaving for my sister's wedding in TN today, I had midterms and papers this week and the last (full time student), stress at work (written tests for a server!), and my gma went into the ICU last night. So, please, tell me I did not scar her for life. The images of her sitting alone will haunt me forever.

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You did not scar her for life.. And I'm betting that your heart was hurting a million times worse than hers.. (It's a "mom" thing.. ) By the time she gets home from school she'll be all happy and smiling and you will still feel awful - LOL..

Maybe you could do some other kind of special breakfast or something with her - more to ease your own pain than hers..

I've done similar things and wanted to DIE!!!

 

[paintnolish]

Thanks so much for all of your kind words. You are right- I am probably more upset about it than she is. It is the mom guilt thing. Since we are leaving this evening, I picked her upsome suprises for the car ride. I had already also planned to take her and her brother to McD's for lunch today, so we did that. I told her how sorry I was and she said it was okay and kept hugging me. We sat on the same side of the booth, shared a sundae, and I remided her that HSM would be out by the time we get back from TN, so we'd do a girls night.
I do have a lot of things going on, but I am not "that" mom, you know? These are the things I stay lie in bed thinking of- when things are due, tests, work, ugh! I am a type A and always arrive early to places. I was early this morning...for the wrong time!

 

[pyrxtc]

I ahve a friend who dropped off her DS for kindergarten and got home, did some stuff said hi to her DH. 1 1/2 hrs had gone by...... she had left her 2 yr old at kindergarten !!! She rushed back to the school. He was fine. Her DH always kept him home in the morning so she didn't usually have him. Her DH asked if he was sleeping is when she realized she left him. She'll never live that down but her kids remember nothing.

 

[C.Ann]

Thanks so much for all of your kind words. You are right- I am probably more upset about it than she is. It is the mom guilt thing. Since we are leaving this evening, I picked her upsome suprises for the car ride. I had already also planned to take her and her brother to McD's for lunch today, so we did that. I told her how sorry I was and she said it was okay and kept hugging me. We sat on the same side of the booth, shared a sundae, and I remided her that HSM would be out by the time we get back from TN, so we'd do a girls night.
I do have a lot of things going on, but I am not "that" mom, you know? These are the things I stay lie in bed thinking of- when things are due, tests, work, ugh! I am a type A and always arrive early to places. I was early this morning...for the wrong time!

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See that? You fixed things up already!!

Now stop beating yourself up!! (I know - easier said than done - I'm a "mom" too - and a "grandma" that's made a couple of "oops!" )

 

[rparmfamily]

Hang in there mama, we all do things like that!

I forgot to pick my DD7 up from school (her new one, she had gone 2 days and we had just moved here) because I got confused about what time school got out. And I wasn't that close to the school, it took me 45 mins to get there!

 

[N&B'smom]

Not to be off topic but did something weird happen? In NY Disney fan's post she quotes the post about the child being left in the car seat all night. It says it was originally posted by me but it wasn't. Kind of weird, isn't it? It was xoprincessmomxo that posted that.

Shelby

 

[xoprincessmomxo]

Ok, that's just funny in a so-glad-it-turned-out-ok sort of way.

My dad was kind of like an absent minded professor (actually artist) so this is just one of many things! He loved us so much, but geesh! Looking back I'm just thankful DHS didn't pay us any visits!

 

[Tikitoi]

Here's mine: My DD was about 4 or 5 (can't remember exactly), but old enough to know she did not want to eat her nuggets and corn because they were touching on the plate. I still remember to this day her picking up her food and eating it slowly as tears rolled down her cheeks. She finally told me and I still could not understand as to why this would upset her. But it is still etched very firmly in my memory to this day.

 

[JVL1018]

My daughter's 1st year in preschool, I didn't realize that on Halloween, they parade in front of the parents right after school started, and I left after dropping her off.
I was heartbroken thinking of her little self looking around for Mommy in the crowd of other parents.
It still kills, me and she's in 3rd grade now-but every time I think about it, my heart hurts.
She doesn't even remember. LOL

 

[happygirl]

Aww, Everyone does something like that at one point or another