Babysitter question

[ronandannette]

OP, when you get home offer to pay her. If she declines, don't push it - just get a cute "Thank You" card and a $20 gift card and give it to her at church. Acknowledging her gift to you as an actual gift may mean more than cash. As you probably already know, we try to cultivate a "servant heart" in our kids, especially if it's part of our/their particular gifting and that's sometimes really hard to do when nobody will actually let them serve selflessly. And next time (if there is a next time), be clear upfront that you'd like to "hire" her and agree on a rate before hand.

I'm also still laughing at the PP's comment about you not paying your siblings.... I think it's actually sad when someone's so fiercely independent and busy looking out for #1 that community and family life gets reduced to a balance sheet of transactions.

Merry Christmas!

 

[Southernmiss]

Thanks for all the replies! As it turns out, her sister ended up going to the hospital last night so we won't be getting her to babysit anyway. We pretty much decided we would just give her some cash and some sort of treat for her time regardless of her protests. For those wondering, she is 16 and the two kids she was going to watch are 3/4. We were taking our other two with us. It's a moot point now. We did find another sitter who won't tell us her rate (common around here...they say to just pay what you normally pay...ummm...I can't do that). Anyway, for those of you who pray I would appreciate you praying for Hannah (that's the girl in the hospital). Thank you!




She had specifically said because it is Christmas, but I still didn't feel right about it. I know how much work our kids are! LOL. So yeah...I wasn't intending to never pay her if we use her again, but even here I didn't feel right about not paying her. We were looking at a good portion of her Saturday (precious time as far as I'm concerned).



We tried...and have a few times. But they generally refuse I think because their mom told them "this is just what family does." However, we do things for them. We run them places, I give one of them piano lessons on occasion (when we have time), my wife helps with hair and sewing repairs as well as lessons, just little things that they actually appreciate that they can't afford on their own.

Bless Hannah and her family.

Thanks for the update. Op you sound like you've got a good handle on it!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Pay here vote here as well.

She is a kid and is probably nervous about asking for money. She is being kind yes, however she should get paid.

ETA...I see the update. Sending you hugs.

 

[anniemae]

I know it does not matter now after reading the update, but no way would I not pay her, that just not seem right to me. Almost like taking advantage. she is taking time out of her schedule to do a job/favor for you. I would say at least $10 per hour, and that is even probably on the low side. Hope her sister is okay, how scary for her.

 

[Kellykins1218]

I'm glad I don't live where all you people do. Babysitters around here ask for $5 an hour.

 

[Tiffylv]

.

 

[bethbuchall]

I'm glad I don't live where all you people do. Babysitters around here ask for $5 an hour.

I don't know what sitters make here, but I don't make $10/hour as a preschool teacher. I work for a church that has a very small preschool and can't afford to pay much, but most of the other preschool teachers that I know don't make much more than $10/hour.

 

[cjparker0110]

I'm also still laughing at the PP's comment about you not paying your siblings.... I think it's actually sad when someone's so fiercely independent and busy looking out for #1 that community and family life gets reduced to a balance sheet of transactions.

I see both sides of it. I was raised in a large city where everyone is "busy looking out for #1" and, unfortunately, you get caught up in societal expectations and such and forget about the idea of helping people or doing favors out of love. I understand it because I was that younger brother who, to my regret, ruined my relationship with my favorite older brother because of my selfishness. Still working on fixing that.

That said, after meeting my wife and getting married I saw this awesome family model that I love!!! She is one of 10 kids (number 4). When I first met her she was often the one who would watch her nieces (who lived next door for a little while) and even her youngest siblings as mom went to work (dad had an accident and was unable to work...before that she was a stay at home mom!). Anyway, I watched as those siblings started growing and took over taking care of the nieces and nephew before that family moved away. I also watched as we were exceedingly blessed and started having children and getting them to watch on the rare occasion we need them. Now with four, we use them a lot more (the doctor is a pain with four kids...haha). But what has warmed my heart was my little 4 year old telling me she can't wait for her auntie T to have children so she can watch them like what she does for her. Unprompted. It creates a great circle of love that I think we, as a modern people, have lost out on.

Even better is watching my grandparents in-law who have installed a full apartment in their house for my great grandfather in law so he can live there instead of being in an assisted living or nursing home facility. He is with family every day and has more joy than I've seen on any person's face of that age in a LONG time. What a blessing when family loves together.

I'm glad I don't live where all you people do. Babysitters around here ask for $5 an hour.

Out here you can hardly get anyone to offer what they charge. Everyone says "just pay what you normally do" to which I say "we usually have free sitters...haha" They still won't say how much so I just give a generous amount (I think) for this small little town. Of course, since we usually have free sitters I don't mind a generous amount when I have to pay. I can't imagine $10/hr...especially if you only had one. We have four, but we usually will take two with us so as not to overwhelm anyone. We only leave them all once a year: our anniversary!

Thanks again everyone else for your replies! If I ever get such an offer again I will at least not have to feel bad for paying something!

 

[mjkacmom]

I'm glad I don't live where all you people do. Babysitters around here ask for $5 an hour.

Where do you live - 1980? I got paid $6 an hour 30 years ago (a regular gig, so a little low), and I've paid at least $10 an hour since 1997. My kids get paid at least $10 an hour without even setting their own rates.

 

[Kellykins1218]

LOL All the teenagers around here really do ask for $5.

 

[CPanther95]

We always paid $10 an hour for 1st kid, $5 an hour for each additional kid. But my 3rd and final kid graduated from college last year, so those rates may be outdated.

Some notes:
* I expected to pay more for a babysitter than that babysitter might make as a daycare or preschool teacher. This isn't regular work and it is taking their night and/or weekend time. That should be worth more. If it was a 30 hour a week gig, my pay would be reduced.

* Most of time when a babysitter - especially one with experience - does not give rates and says "Whatever you think is fair", it's not because they don't really care. Some may just not be comfortable talking about money or consider it "rude" (look how many adults are uncomfortable declaring an expected salary in a job interview), but the vast majority do it because they don't want to end up limiting what they may have made if their rate is lower than what the parent expected to pay (also often a motivator in a job interview). Most babysitters with some experience have had at least one of those jobs where they ended up getting a wad of cash that far exceeded any reasonable expectation. Nobody wants to risk eliminating that possibility.