Babysitter drank beer while watching child

[bumcat]

The family that it happened to, do they drink? If not then even one beer would be an issue.
For myself it would depend on the person.

 

[tasha99]

The other thing to consider is a paid worker, no matter what age, should not be "helping themselves" to anything without permission. And drinking on the job, any job, is never a good idea, nor appreciated by the employer.

My guess is the FIL isn't being paid for his time, and is doing it as a favor, therefore, it's certainly more permissable.

I agree. I don't even ever have a drink on my lunch hour because I think it would look bad to go back to the office with martini breath (guess that 3 martini lunch is a lost tradition. . . )

I wouldn't have a problem with a FIL who was babysitting as a favor having a beer, though. And a teen The fact that they drank underage AND while on a paying job would make me realize he or she wasn't mature enough to babysit.

 

[Connieh]

Here is the offender!

 

[GoodFairies]

Here is a scenario I found on another board that I thought would make for an interesting Saturday discussion. To paraphrase:



So how would you feel in this situation?

It must be a very boring board indeed for people to argue about whether it's ok for grandpa to have 1 beer when watching his grandchild.

 

[salmoneous]

It depends, what kind of beer is it?

Good point, I didn't think of that. If it's, say, a Coors Light, that shows grandpa's judgment isn't so good. Not sure if such a guy should be trusted....

 

[Violet Incredible]

Kids make me want to drink too.

 

[jensen]

Not a problem... its a adult and 1 beer. The problem I would have it having my FIL drive 4 hours to watch my kid for 3 1/2 hours? Unless I read that wrong.

This is exactly what I was thinking... what the heck? They couldn't find someone closer to watch the kid for a couple of hours. That FIL is a saint IMO and A beer is a NON-ISSUE.

 

[npmommie]

I was saying why would it be a problem if a teenager had had a beer under these same circumstances.

Because it is illegal for teens to drink and they shouldn't do it on my time in my home with my kids, the adult that owns the house could get into trouble if it was found out.

 

[npmommie]

Is it? Not in every state. Let us think about the actual code from 1984.

http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/uscode23/usc_sec_23_00000158----000-.html

As of January 1, 2007, only 14 states and the District of Columbia ban underage consumption outright, 19 states do not specifically ban underage consumption, and an additional 27 states have family member and/or location exceptions to their underage consumption laws.

http://t in y url.com/anorz (remove the spaces)

So depending on the state, in this scenario if a teen had drunk a beer in a private home, there would be no law broken.

well in the state i live in furnishing alcohol to minors is against the law, and that would be considered furnishing alcohol to them if they were in my house and drank my alcohol.

 

[Carly_Roach]

Eliminate the adjectives and you have the facts of the matter. The facts of the matter are this:

Grandfather comes over on a Saturday to watch kids as a favor to DIL. Grandfather has one (1) beer while watching kids. DIL notices one (1) beer can in the garbage and doesn't know how to feel about it.

Either DIL had relatives who never drank or DIL wants someone else to tell her how to feel about her FIL having a beer while doing this favor for her.

My parents never drank at home. They didn't have anything at all against drinking and drank socially at parties. But alcohol wasn't something that came naturally to them so they rarely embibed. When I was five, I spent a week at my aunt's house and it was quite a shock to me when my uncle would come home from a day at work, get comfortable in his favorite chair, and have a glass of beer.

I took my cues from my cousins, who didn't seem to think anything of this, and went on with my way playing with the cousins. When I got home after my visit, I asked my mother about it. She said some people do that to relax after work and there wasn't anything bad about it.

I was five, I accepted that answer, and to this day still feel that people who drink to relax are responsible, normal, average people. My Uncle sure was.

Obviously the woman who didn't know how to handle her FIL drinking a beer while watching the kids (who were probably watching TV or playing video games) didn't have this experience. She didn't know that normal, everyday people have a beer once in awhile, especially on the weekends, and that one beer doesn't impact the safety of her children in their own home one iota.

 

[disneyfantotheend]

This particular scenerio would mean nothing to me. And to those saying "unless" he is an alcoholic, I would think she would not have an alcoholic watching her kids? But who knows.

As for those who think it is a nonissue for a teen to drink while babysitting, I disagree. And it is kind of scary to think people feel that way. I do not want my teens drinking underage. I tell them not to and so do many of the programs they have in school throughout the year, such as Dare and Serento Gardens. Not once have my kids told me that they told them at the programs that it is ok as long as I, the parent, provide the alcohol. Believe me if they said that my son would be sure to tell me. lol Maybe it is ok to give your child a drink, although I would not, but I would still not want that child drinking while watching my children.

 

[Stacerita]

It wouldn't bother me at all. When my parents sit for me and watch DD, they will have a beer or two, or maybe some wine. No big deal really. Heck, I've had a beer while with DD.

 

[5lilfish]

If my father drank ONE beer while watching my kids, I would not be upset. If my babysitter drank a beer (or any alcohol) while babysitting, I'd be pissed.

I babysat from the age of 11 until the year I had my son (age 23). I wouldn't dream of drinking on the job. The only time I ever had any alcohol while sitting (and technically this was before I began my 'shift'), the Mom gave me a glass of wine. She had just got home with the kids when I arrived to start babysitting. Her 4 yr old managed to get into the driver's seat of her car and put it in reverse (with the 6 yr old asleep in the back seat). He backed the car down the driveway and aross the street as his mom and I ran to stop it. Thank God nobody was hurt. We were both sooooo shaken up afterwards that Mom poured us both a glass of wine (I was legal drinking age).

Jess

 

[autumnbaby9]

In the scenario with the FIL it wouldn't bother me at all. He is an adult and can legally drink. Now if I came home and he had drank a 6 pack I would be a bit mift and wouldn't be asking him to babysit again.

If it was a teenager it would bother me. Here it is illegal for anyone under 21 to be drinking. If this teenager where to get caught and then told the cops that the beer came from my house then I would be the one held accountable. I have BIG issues with that.

Even if I lived in a state that had a law that stated that minors can have alcohol if giving to them by a parent (I don't know if Idaho has such a law or not), I would still have a problem. I am not this babysitters parent so the law would no apply to the situation.

 

[singingpixie]

In the described situation, I'd have no problem- a legal adult having a moderate amount of alcohol. I don't get what the issue is. Especially if he's a family member and probably not being paid for his time.

If it were a teen, I'd have a problem because 1) the breach of trust issue- they've taken something I have not offered them and 2) the liability of me allowing access to alcohol to minors.

I'm 23, and I occasionally babysit for a former professor of mine, who has a two-year-old. The first time I was over there, he showed me the liquor cabinet and told me to help myself. I still haven't- didn't feel right while I was being paid.

 

[ilisao]

I was saying why would it be a problem if a teenager had had a beer under these same circumstances.

Because it is illegal for a teenager to be drinking beer. And if said teenager engaged in that illegal activity at my house, and then drove and caused and accident, I could be held liable.

 

[Disney Doll]

Why?

Because the drinkng age is 21, not teenage.

 

[esdras]

I agree with a lot of what has been said here - but not all of it.

I think everyone is in agreement that any babysitter, regardless of age, payment, relationship, etc. - if they drink enough to become inebriated (e.g. - the six pack - or however much that takes), there is a BIG problem.

In terms of an adult relative - likely, they aren't getting paid. One drink, really not much of an issue. Offering it in the first place or getting permission beforehand would have been better though.

As for a "teenager" babysitting - there are a couple factors.

1) If the teen is being paid and not a relative, they should not be helping themselves to alcohol. Further, their own parents should have enough sense to teach their teenager that helping yourself to alcohol without permission is at the very least rude. This is why when a teen babysits for us, we say "If you are thirsty we have milk, juice, pop, water and iced tea in the fridge - help yourself". We tell them what we are willing to offer.

2) If the teen is a relative - hopefully the family then knows what and what is not permitted. If drinking alcohol in moderation within the home during teenage years is acceptable within the family then this may be okay. Common courtesy of permission of offering it should be considered though.

Much like a lot of things in life - be proactive, rather than getting forced into being reactive. Ask permission first and/or offer exactly what you are willing to let your babysitter drink. Simple common sense on that.

 

[AmberDaClown]

Because the drinkng age is 21, not teenage.

Not in every state as has been previously posted. The law in 31 states does not prohibit consumption on private property by a minor.

 

[HappyHeart]

Private property or not, Amber, the fact remains that I will not be giving alcohol to any minor in my home. If their parents are with them and decide it's ok, that's fine, their rules. What happens when the parents of the teenager find out that you've given their child their first taste of beer, and completely disapprove?

If I pay someone for their time, whether it be an employee or babysitter, I expect them to act professionally about their position. It doesn't matter if they are 15 or 51.

If someone were doing me a favor, if someone I trusted with my children, such as a close family member or friend, had one beer, or even two with their lunch, I would not have a problem with that.

Plus, it's quite a different scenerio when you take a 60 or 70 year old grandfather who has been having a couple of beers everyday for half a century, and compare that with a 16, 18, or 20 year old who is still new to the whole drinking thing, there is bound to be a humongous difference in the way they act and make decisions.