Babysitter drank beer while watching child

[AmberDaClown]

It also creates a breach of trust - I would wonder what other sneaky things the sitter was doing.

The beer can was in the recycle bin in this scenario. What trust was broken? It was not hidden down in the trash can.

 

[AmberDaClown]

If the person was over 21, and it was just one beer and I knew they didn't have a problem with alcohol, then, no, it wouldn't bother me. I would wonder if maybe it was more than one beer, which definitely would have bothered me.

How about we just stick to the scenario as given instead of arguing about it. I could easily say this took place at the time when the drinking age was 18. And we could go round and round about drinking at 18 and suddenly not the next day until you turned 21.

 

[twinspluscade]

Do you have a problem with the scenario as stated of the FIL drinking A beer while babysitting?

As long as he's not an alcoholic (in which case he wouldn't be watching my kid to begin with), I'd be fine with him having a beer.

 

[freckles and boo]

The beer can was in the recycle bin in this scenario. What trust was broken? It was not hidden down in the trash can.

Again, this was an adult. Why wouldn't he put the can in the recycling bin? I suspect a teen drinking a beer in my home wouldn't be so obvious about it. But unless I specifically said, "Help yourself to a Guiness!", they would be taking it without my permission. That is a breach of trust. The teens I hire to babysit my children are 15, 16, and 13. One is a niece. One is a nephew. One is a neighbor girl. Their parents would never condone me offering them alcohol. I wouldn't do it. If they drank in my home it would certainly be a breach of trust.

 

[Liberty Belle]

How about we just stick to the scenario as given instead of arguing about it. I could easily say this took place at the time when the drinking age was 18. And we could go round and round about drinking at 18 and suddenly not the next day until you turned 21.

Umm...because you asked the question why would it bother us if it were a teen.

Back to the original scenario, as long as FIL did not have a drinking problem, then no, it would not bother me.

 

[TreslovesWDW]

My mom and Aunt used to babysit for me and my cousin. Usually on Fridays when we would come to get the kids, they would be having a couple of beers. We never were mad. If the kids were running around and they were drunk not paying attention that would be a different story. So one beer no way would I be mad.

 

[maddiemom]

Not in every state. I know for instance that in Texas a parent may serve their own minor children alcohol. I don't think age matters in this particular circumstance when you are talking about A beer.

Would it matter to you if it was not a family member, but the timing was at night and it was a paid babysitter (say someone over 21 so we can get away from the under 21 drinking angle).

*I will say from this scenario you do not know where this takes place. Why do you assume it is in this country as there are several places in the world where there is no or a much younger drinking age?

I disagree. Age does matter. If it were a hired babysitter who was underage and they went into my refrigerator and helped themselves to a beer while in my employ watching my child, it would not be appropriate in the least bit. I definately would not use a particular teenage babysitter again if he/she had breeched my trust in this manner. Also one beer affects a teenager who does not have the physical or mental maturity level of an adult much differently than one beer affects a grown man.

Now, in this case, being that is a grown man having the beer and the FIL of the person, I might feel differently. Assuming FIL is not an alcoholic, I don't have a problem with his having one beer while staying at home watching the child. I assume as FIL, he is not receiving payment, therefore is not an employee. The "rules" are a little different for family members. As long as the FIL is a responsible person it is OK. Now if it were a 6 pack or hard liquor that might be another story.

 

[Missy1961]

1. If my FIL (or any adult) wanted a drink with his lunch, and he doesn't have a drinking problem, then it's OK. I'm sure many parents have had a drink with dinner while with their kids, so why not if an adult is watching the kids?

2. If anyone under 21 was watching my child & had a drink, I would not be happy about it. Even if it were an older niece or nephew. If we were having a party, and they wanted to try a beer, if their parents were OK with it, then it's OK with me. But not while they're responsible for a child.

 

[happygirl]

I was saying why would it be a problem if a teenager had had a beer under these same circumstances.

For one thing it's aganist the law for teens to drink

 

[AmberDaClown]

I happen to think that given the scenario (which sounds like it was during lunch for this FIL), it would not matter. One beer would not matter whether it was a paid babysitter or an unpaid family member. The age of the babysitter would not bother me either. How his or her parents felt about it would be between them and their child. The time of day would not bother me either since for this person who left at 5AM was probably up much earlier so it was at their "lunch time".

I have lived in cultures where beer and wine was common with lunch and dinner for most members of the family. There was far less abuse of alcohol by the older children, teens and adults than in this country.

We are not talking about a six pack either.

 

[dolphindan1]

Here is a scenario I found on another board that I thought would make for an interesting Saturday discussion. To paraphrase:



So how would you feel in this situation?

I have a drink or 2 with my kids home....i even do it in public at a resturant sometimes.....

 

[salmoneous]

the grandfather having 1 beer.

that's a non-issue.

Unless it's the last one in the fridge.

 

[bekkiz]

The other thing to consider is a paid worker, no matter what age, should not be "helping themselves" to anything without permission. And drinking on the job, any job, is never a good idea, nor appreciated by the employer.

My guess is the FIL isn't being paid for his time, and is doing it as a favor, therefore, it's certainly more permissable.

 

[AmberDaClown]

The other thing to consider is a paid worker, no matter what age, should not be "helping themselves" to anything without permission. And drinking on the job, any job, is never a good idea, nor appreciated by the employer.

I have always told our babysitters to help themselves when watching our kids. I have never said do not drink, but the scenario did not happen to me. I would not have a problem with one beer though.

 

[Cool-Beans]

If it were my dad or FIL it wouldn't bother me at all. The only way it would bother DH is if it were the last of the beer.

 

[AmberDaClown]

For one thing it's aganist the law for teens to drink

Is it? Not in every state. Let us think about the actual code from 1984.

http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/uscode23/usc_sec_23_00000158----000-.html

....purchase or publicly possess any alcoholic beverage in such State

As of January 1, 2007, only 14 states and the District of Columbia ban underage consumption outright, 19 states do not specifically ban underage consumption, and an additional 27 states have family member and/or location exceptions to their underage consumption laws.

http://t in y url.com/anorz (remove the spaces)

So depending on the state, in this scenario if a teen had drunk a beer in a private home, there would be no law broken.

 

[happygirl]

Is it? Not in every state. Let us think about the actual code from 1984.

http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/uscode23/usc_sec_23_00000158----000-.html

As of January 1, 2007, only 14 states and the District of Columbia ban underage consumption outright, 19 states do not specifically ban underage consumption, and an additional 27 states have family member and/or location exceptions to their underage consumption laws.

http://t in y url.com/anorz (remove the spaces)

So depending on the state, in this scenario if a teen had drunk a beer in a private home, there would be no law broken.

I still wouldn't want a teen to being drink in home. what if the first time they drank was at your home, and one beer got them drunk or tipsy

 

[LisaNJ25]

Not a problem... its a adult and 1 beer. The problem I would have it having my FIL drive 4 hours to watch my kid for 3 1/2 hours? Unless I read that wrong.

 

[ChrisFL]

It depends, what kind of beer is it?

 

[EthansMom]

I wouldn't have a problem with an adult family member imbibing in one alcoholic drink while watching my child(ren).