Baby to Daycare?

[RachelEllen]

Now I feel like I have to defend DH a little

He does a great job of splitting responibilities. He cleans up from dinner every night and cooks about half the nights when are both working (1-2X/wk).

He also has a 10 year old son that is here 50% of the time. We both work in opposite directions, so he drops his son off at school every morning we have him and I drop off the baby. He picks his son up whenever I'm working. He's also the "default" one to handle things with his son. For example, if I can take DSS to a baseball game, I'll let DH know that I can handle it. Or, he might ask me. But if we don't discuss it, DH takes care of it.

I also don't have to ask permission for a shower! DD is just at that age where she can create large amounts of damage if left unsupervised. And, if it is not explicit, I am the one to watch her. So, DH can just go take a shower. Or, go out for a jog. I have to let him know that I want to take a shower. I check with him before I schedule a haircut, for example. He just heads to Hair Cuttery after work.

My main complaint was that I am sick of the "oh, it must be nice" comments when he knows I am not working and I take DD into daycare. Yes, it is nice! He has been divorced since DSS was a toddler as well. I think he has forgotton how all much energy it takes to be aware of careful of the toddler all day long. Plus, he only had 50% custody, so he had plenty of alone time and, of course, wouldn't have sent DSS into daycare if he had a day off.

 

[Mkrop]

For me it depends, yes I can totally see dropping the child off to get some things done, like doctor, dentist, hair, even nails done. I dont consider that "me" time I consider that necessary. But I dont think I would drop my child off just to chill or to run regular errands, I like spenidng time with my kids. I could totally see though dropping them off if I was sick or had a bad night and needed to catch on sleep.

But everyone does things differently and that is ok too

 

[minkydog]

That is just so sad. Some people just should not have kids. DH worked with a woman like this several years ago. One morning she was taking her DD to daycare. She put her in the stroller to take her into the daycare center so she wouldn't mess up her work outfit (she did this every day) and was flipping the stroller handle. It got stuck on something so she pushed extra hard-that something was her DD ARM. She broke the baby's arm. She took her to the dr, they put the arm in the cast and she dropped her back at the daycare center and went to work

OMG, that's horrible! The whole situation is awful. I used daycare off & on with my two oldest, about 1 or 2 days a week, and I never had them there more than 6 hours. Just enough time for me to sleep(I worked nights) and for the kids to have a little fun with friends. Nothing wrong with that.

 

[Holly]

Really? You are ok that your husband just gets to do what he wants, when he wants and you have to clear a shower with him

And then he says that you are "dumping the baby" when you take her to daycare

No offense, but your husband seems like he is very selfish. I couldn't live like that. I would resent him so much.

You saved me the trouble of typing that out.

 

[kidshop]

I guess you pay for the days whether you use them or not? I would use them. But I would probably not do housework during that time! My greatest joy is to go to the grocery store or Walmart alone. Peacefully alone.

 

[MomRN]

From one working mom to the next, you need some "me" time.

Now, on the other end of the spectrum, I used to get on my husband about "dumping" the baby off at daycare, but I realize now that he just wasn't much into the baby phase and doesn't do it anymore. His mom owns a daycare, so it was just too easy for him to get rid of the baby. This was while I was in nursing school and working part-time, and he was unemployed. If I was off, I had the baby. If I was doing what needed to be done to survive, then I expected him to have the baby. See, in the way this worked, I never had "me" time. It was either being a student, an employee, or a mom. It got real old, real fast. Thankfully with graduating, getting a job, working nights, ds starting preschool, and dh going back to school, we now both have our own time (and together time).

 

[MichelleVW]

That is just so sad. Some people just should not have kids. DH worked with a woman like this several years ago. One morning she was taking her DD to daycare. She put her in the stroller to take her into the daycare center so she wouldn't mess up her work outfit (she did this every day) and was flipping the stroller handle. It got stuck on something so she pushed extra hard-that something was her DD ARM. She broke the baby's arm. She took her to the dr, they put the arm in the cast and she dropped her back at the daycare center and went to work

yep...we have some of those parents.

Honestly people, as much as your kids like their daycare, they would probably rather be with their parents. I know you pay for it, but personally I like being with my kids and I wouldn't take them to daycare every day if I didn't have too.

I don't want to start a huge debate because I really don't see anything wrong with dropping the child off for a few (maybe 3 or so) hours so you can run some errands, but your child would rather be home with you, (not directed at OP, just people in general).

It makes us laugh at work when people say they can't get things done with one baby at home, but we are responsible for 4 of them the same age!!

 

[sunnyday123]

Really? You are ok that your husband just gets to do what he wants, when he wants and you have to clear a shower with him

And then he says that you are "dumping the baby" when you take her to daycare

No offense, but your husband seems like he is very selfish. I couldn't live like that. I would resent him so much.

Yea...I would have gone postal on him a long time ago.

 

[ilovejack02]

It does sound like he helps out. Just tell him, no more "it must be nice " comments . Everyone needs me time, just remind him of that. Some silly people think they are joking when they say that and really they are. Just a reminder that you don't think it is funny is prob all that is needed.

If that doesn't work then a swift kick in the behind will help ! ( im joking of course) well not really.