Baby Shower Question

[4cruisin]

My dearest friend is expecting her 2nd child in June. This is her 2nd marriage. Her older son is almost 18 years old so needless to say, she needs everything for this baby. She had infertility issues and it took almost 2 years to conceive. She lost the first baby (very sad) and is stressing out terribly about this pregnancy because she is sure that something will happen to this baby. She does not want a baby shower for fear that it will "jinx" her pregnancy. I don't want to go against her wishes but I would like to do something to celebrate her becoming a mom again and her dh becoming a first time daddy. They are financially able to purchase everything needed for the baby but I would like some ideas on what I could do for them?

BTW, I thought about giving her a shower after the baby is born but that kind of defeats the purpose of having everything for the baby when it is born. She does not want to buy anything for the baby before birth.

 

[Cindy's Mom]

If she doesn't want a baby shower, DON'T give her one. Can you imagine if you gave a shower and (God forbide), something horrible happened? She would resent you and possibly blame you.

I appreciate the fact that you want to celebrate her being a mom again - but WAIT until after the baby is born. I lost 2 babies (very late term), please respect her wishes.

Buy her something extra special after the baby is born.

 

[SC Minnie]

A shower was given to me after DD was born. I don't see a problem with that. You could call it a 'drop in to meet the new member of the family party' or something if she feels jinxed by the term shower.

 

[4cruisin]

If she doesn't want a baby shower, DON'T give her one. Can you imagine if you gave a shower and (God forbide), something horrible happened? She would resent you and possibly blame you.

I appreciate the fact that you want to celebrate her being a mom again - but WAIT until after the baby is born. I lost 2 babies (very late term), please respect her wishes.

Buy her something extra special after the baby is born.

I am respecting her wishes. I would never want to upset her by going against her. I wish she could try to enjoy her pregnancy more though. Everything is going well. I just wanted some ideas on something special that I could do for her and her dh to celebrate. Dissers are so creative, I thought maybe I could get some great ideas.

 

[Sandy V.]

If she doesn't want a baby shower, DON'T give her one. Can you imagine if you gave a shower and (God forbide), something horrible happened? She would resent you and possibly blame you.

I appreciate the fact that you want to celebrate her being a mom again - but WAIT until after the baby is born. I lost 2 babies (very late term), please respect her wishes.

Buy her something extra special after the baby is born.

I agree with Cindy's Mom. After the baby is born, make her a bunch of meals so she doesn't have to cook dinner for awhile (that is, if you like to cook!). And buy something nice for the baby THEN.

You could also put together some sort of scrapbook for her and the baby, with photos, current events, etc.

BTW, Cindy's Mom, I'm sorry about the babies that you lost.

 

[Cindy's Mom]

BTW, Cindy's Mom, I'm sorry about the babies that you lost.

I'm verklempt. Sandy that was so sweet.

 

[taximomfor4]

I have heard of "diaper parties." Can be in the form of a cookout or something. Every family that attends brings a bag of their preferred brand of diapers. In different sizes. It takes place after the baby is born. Or else, throw a big "meet the new baby" party, if the family agrees. I had one of those...everyone had thrown a potluck cookout, and had all chipped in on a Babies R Us Gift Card. Baby was 5 weeks old.

 

[missypie]

I've always heard the parties after the baby is born called "Sip 'n Sees." You come have refreshments and get to see the new baby. What fun! An infant needs very little. An expectant mom could buy everything her newborn actually NEEDS in one trip to Walmart. It would be great to have the party after the baby arrives.

 

[4cruisin]

I like the idea of a "Welcome Baby" party after the baby is born. It will be summer so I could have it in my backyard as opposed to renting a function facility which is what I would have done for a regular shower. Keep coming with the great ideas.

 

[AnaheimGirl]

I went to a shower once where they put together a book of parenting advice from all the mom's friends (most of us were moms already). The hostess had a scrapbook that she had decorated and each guest wrote in the best bit of not-so-obvious parenting advice they had received, in their own handwriting of course. It turned out to be a very useful and personal book, including everything from unusual diaper-rash treatments to how to avoid getting stressed about parenting challenges.

You could put something like this together with other friends ahead of time and present it to her after the baby is born.

I like the welcome baby party, too. Although a newborn doesn't need too much stuff those first couple of weeks, they need a lot later, so a baby shower/welcome party after the fact will still be very helpful for all those 3-6 month items and beyond.

Good luck!

 

[Davids-Coco]

If you want to do something prior to celebrate, maybe just an informal congrats dinner would work. Take her family out somewhere nice with some CLOSE friends and let her relax and enjoy.

I too see no problem with a shower after the baby is born. I think what is important is if SHE sees a problem with a shower after the baby is born... and if she knows that it is happening, then she can buy just the stuff that she really needs for the first few weeks... which isn't too much.

 

[Crankyshank]

I had a similar situation with a friend of mine. We wound up having a Welcome baby shower after the baby was born and everyone was requested to bring a children's book. It worked out great because she got bigger sized clothing and lots of bath products and diapers. and children's books are pretty expensive so getting them as a gift was great

 

[Sandy V.]

I'm verklempt. Sandy that was so sweet.

You're quite welcome. By the way, I learned a new word today. Had to look up "verklempt" so I didn't respond inappropriately!!!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Host a Baby Welcoming--the theme could be books or something and guests would bring their favorite children's book as a gift.

Or a Potluck meal (call it something else)--where guests prepare a dish for the couple that can be frozen (maybe it's called a freezer party, I forget).

Prepare all your stuff--then have the party 2 weeks or so after baby is born. Wait a day or two after the birth to send invitations.

 

[megan4777]

I would do something for just her, right now, since you want her to enjoy her pregnancy. I received many wonderful lotions, foot massages (that I made DH use on me!!), books, journals, photo albums...etc while I was pregnant.

I think having a "welcome baby" party is a wonderful idea and I would talk to your friend about when she'd want one. I know our pediatricians STRESSED not to have either of DD's near strangers for 6weeks after birth (yeah, that happened with the size of our families!!). I would just mention it in case that is a concern of your friends.

You are a wonderful friend and she's very lucky to have you!!!!

 

[4cruisin]

Thanks for all the great ideas. Loved the children's book ideas. I will talk to her dh about a "Welcome Baby" party. I think that would be great since they will need lots of "bigger" clothes for the new baby. I am so excited for them and want to make this preganancy and birth extra special for them.

Thanks again.