Avoiding Gay Days- Not bashing the weekend just have kids and need help

[kiwitravel]

the word you could use is "celebrate" - we want to celebrate who we are, be with people like us, etc. It's not about ghettoizing ourselves by only going on "designated" days - there are gay people at Disney 365 days a year! - but it's about celebrating ourselves and feeling comfortable around people like us.

This is my point exactly, you should want to celebrate who you are with the world in an open way, here in NZ and Australia they have annual gay pride mardi grae parades which are big hit with gay and straight alike. Though even the interest for these are waning here in NZ

And actually, there is an amusement park near me (not Disney) that has a Muslim Day. It's not different from any other day - plenty of non-Muslims go on that day, but of course they understand they will be seeing more Muslims there than usual, with a lot more head scarfs and the occasional full black covering. They come from many different mosques around the region. How is that different from a Gay Day?.

It isn't I would feel the same way about it or a "Christian day" or any other minority day for that matter

Yes, it would be wonderful if everybody accepted everybody regardless of race, ethnicity, orientation, religion, etc. But the fact is that they don't. Life isn't like that. It's especially not like that at a "family" place, where people from certain backgrounds consider homosexuality an abomination and don't want to expose their children to it. "Sure, they can have their bars," these people might say, "but why do they have to come to a place where my KIDS are?"

Exactly the type of thinking that we want to change, and beating them over their heads with their misguided beliefs isn't going to reeducate them. Seeing gay couples mixing in society in exactly the same manner as straight couples is the only way these people will see the error of their ways and clear their minds from stereotypical thinking.

I speak from experience, as 22 years ago my country legalised Gay relationships and as a lot younger and less wise person I had stereotypical concerns with the law change. Very quickly I saw those those concerns were bigotted, not due to parades but by seeing that gay people are just people like us living their lives in the best way they know how. My country was the second country in the world to legalise gay marriage, again not due to parades but by common sense prevailing.

Sorry if I come across as an idealist, but I really think the world would be a better place if more of us were idealists rather than realists....

 

[missmonkey]

Yes, it would be wonderful if everybody accepted everybody regardless of race, ethnicity, orientation, religion, etc. But the fact is that they don't.

Someone in an earlier post -- and I agree -- wrote that we should all leave our prejudices at the door. But, as Etoile points out, we don't. At the last Gay Days at DLR, it didn't take an hour before I heard some young thug wannabe say that he was afraid to go to the bathrooms because ". . . it's all fags in there (insert hateful sneer here)." It would have been nice if he had left his fear at the gate but he didn't. So we have Gay Days to have fun with our people (which includes straight people) but also to show that we are here. We're your neighbors, your co-workers, your fellow Disney lovers -- whether we show it by wearing red or not.

This is my point exactly, you should want to celebrate who you are with the world in an open way, here in NZ and Australia they have annual gay pride mardi grae parades which are big hit with gay and straight alike.

Yeah, that's we do at Gay Days.

I speak from experience, as 22 years ago my country legalised Gay relationships and as a lot younger and less wise person I had stereotypical concerns with the law change. Very quickly I saw those those concerns were bigotted, not due to parades but by seeing that gay people are just people like us living their lives in the best way they know how.

Hooray, Kiwitravel! Couldn't have said it better myself. If our rights as GLBT folks were the same under the law as those of straight people, we would still have Gay Days because it's fun! I think many people confuse our mass attendance and red-shirtedness with a political statement. There are many fights we still wage in the US, chief among them marriage and workplace protection. But furthering political goals on the first weekend of October at Sleeping Beauty Castle is not really when and where we're waging them.

 

[autumnbaby9]

I always thought of it like a high school reunion(although a lot more entertaining). I can't wait until I can go and visit during gay days, I think it would be a blast.

 

[drag n' fly]

I am treading into shark infested waters here. The OP is not ready to explain same sex relationships to her children yet. That is her business she is the parent. I have no comment. I will tell you what does bother me. I don't care if your straight, Bi, Trans, gay etc. What really bothers me is very outward PDA in public places anywhere. Burger king, the gas station, Disney whatever. If people would show a little common courtesy and class and stop groping each other and smooshing faces and shoving their tongues down each other throats in public I might have a heck of a lot more tolerance. I personally think Gay Days are giving gay people a bad name! Straight people don't march down the streets proclaiming their straightness. Why do gays have to do the same? Those who are gay and live a normal life without advertising their sexuality are the ones who get my respect. Some gay people complain they are not being treated equally....WELL stop making such a big fuss about your sexuality and show the world what you have to offer besides your sexual orientation....like humanitarian efforts, education etc and then maybe you may start to see a more open acceptance because you have more to offer than ridiculous parades and over the top PDA. I have gay friends who are well educated working in professional fields. They are embarrassed by some of the things I have mentioned and agree with me. So I do have a couple people who support my opinion.....let the flames fly baby!

 

[jlima]

My family was at DLR for Gay Days Weekend in 2006. We had no idea until we saw everyone in red shirts. DH and I picked up on it between our car and the escalators in the parking garage (Why are all these people in red sh . . . oh, this must be Gay Days) but our older DS (12 at the time) didn't figure out that literally HUNDREDS of people were wearing red shirts until about four hours later and our younger DS (6 at the time) never did figure it out. We saw no PDA whatsoever, and lots of families with kids with same-sex parents.

 

[50sjayne]

WOW, I am amazed at the number of responses.

Jack

As I am amazed by the number of atheists ;-) I really meant no offense by saying I have it 'harder' than gays and lesbians (I'm sure I dont) but I seem to feel a more profound and deeply felt animosity when dealing with people who are christian, in relationship with my being an atheist. It does seem that alternative lifestyles these days are more accepted. There was a poll done lately (as if those are accurate) There was a recent poll that sort of hit home with me that said Americans were much more likely to elect a gay person president than and atheist-- there was another one awhile back saying gay people were trusted far more than atheists..yet another one that said they would rather their kids be gay than atheists. Trust me I am a big time Bowie fan, feel at home in a Rocky Horror picture Show crowd and my best friend for years at the fairly conservative grocery store I work at is a gay man. I mean obviously there are a lot of homophobes out there still.
Discrimination
Main article: Discrimination against atheists
Legal and social discrimination against atheists in some places may lead some to deny or conceal their atheism due to fears of persecution. A 2006 study by researchers at the University of Minnesota involving a poll of 2,000 households in the United States found atheists to be the most distrusted of minorities, more so than Muslims, recent immigrants, gays and lesbians, and other groups. Many of the respondents associated atheism with immorality, including criminal behaviour, extreme materialism, and elitism.[2] However, the same study also reported that, “The researchers also found acceptance or rejection of atheists is related not only to personal religiosity, but also to one’s exposure to diversity, education and political orientation — with more educated, East and West Coast Americans more accepting of atheists than their Midwestern counterparts.”[2]

 

[natenapril]

I am treading into shark infested waters here. The OP is not ready to explain same sex relationships to her children yet. That is her business she is the parent. I have no comment. I will tell you what does bother me. I don't care if your straight, Bi, Trans, gay etc. What really bothers me is very outward PDA in public places anywhere. Burger king, the gas station, Disney whatever. If people would show a little common courtesy and class and stop groping each other and smooshing faces and shoving their tongues down each other throats in public I might have a heck of a lot more tolerance. I personally think Gay Days are giving gay people a bad name! Straight people don't march down the streets proclaiming their straightness. Why do gays have to do the same? Those who are gay and live a normal life without advertising their sexuality are the ones who get my respect. Some gay people complain they are not being treated equally....WELL stop making such a big fuss about your sexuality and show the world what you have to offer besides your sexual orientation....like humanitarian efforts, education etc and then maybe you may start to see a more open acceptance because you have more to offer than ridiculous parades and over the top PDA. I have gay friends who are well educated working in professional fields. They are embarrassed by some of the things I have mentioned and agree with me. So I do have a couple people who support my opinion.....let the flames fly baby!

WOW!!! WELL SAID!!!!!!!!! ITA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Padstack]

As I am amazed by the number of atheists ;-) I really meant no offense by saying I have it 'harder' than gays and lesbians (I'm sure I dont) but I seem to feel a more profound and deeply felt animosity when dealing with people who are christian, in relationship with my being an atheist. It does seem that alternative lifestyles these days are more accepted. There was a poll done lately (as if those are accurate) There was a recent poll that sort of hit home with me that said Americans were much more likely to elect a gay person president than and atheist-- there was another one awhile back saying gay people were trusted far more than atheists..yet another one that said they would rather their kids be gay than atheists. Trust me I am a big time Bowie fan, feel at home in a Rocky Horror picture Show crowd and my best friend for years at the fairly conservative grocery store I work at is a gay man. I mean obviously there are a lot of homophobes out there still.
Discrimination
Main article: Discrimination against atheists
Legal and social discrimination against atheists in some places may lead some to deny or conceal their atheism due to fears of persecution. A 2006 study by researchers at the University of Minnesota involving a poll of 2,000 households in the United States found atheists to be the most distrusted of minorities, more so than Muslims, recent immigrants, gays and lesbians, and other groups. Many of the respondents associated atheism with immorality, including criminal behaviour, extreme materialism, and elitism.[2] However, the same study also reported that, “The researchers also found acceptance or rejection of atheists is related not only to personal religiosity, but also to one’s exposure to diversity, education and political orientation — with more educated, East and West Coast Americans more accepting of atheists than their Midwestern counterparts.”[2]

This is honestly news to me. But I never really cared what others think about my atheism. Just like I don't care about others lifestyles. Even knowing this now won't change my admittance about being atheist, when asked. If someone has a problem with it, don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya.

 

[Etoile]

As I am amazed by the number of atheists ;-) I really meant no offense by saying I have it 'harder' than gays and lesbians (I'm sure I dont) but I seem to feel a more profound and deeply felt animosity when dealing with people who are christian, in relationship with my being an atheist. It does seem that alternative lifestyles these days are more accepted. There was a poll done lately (as if those are accurate) There was a recent poll that sort of hit home with me that said Americans were much more likely to elect a gay person president than and atheist-- there was another one awhile back saying gay people were trusted far more than atheists..yet another one that said they would rather their kids be gay than atheists. Trust me I am a big time Bowie fan, feel at home in a Rocky Horror picture Show crowd and my best friend for years at the fairly conservative grocery store I work at is a gay man. I mean obviously there are a lot of homophobes out there still.
Discrimination
Main article: Discrimination against atheists
Legal and social discrimination against atheists in some places may lead some to deny or conceal their atheism due to fears of persecution. A 2006 study by researchers at the University of Minnesota involving a poll of 2,000 households in the United States found atheists to be the most distrusted of minorities, more so than Muslims, recent immigrants, gays and lesbians, and other groups. Many of the respondents associated atheism with immorality, including criminal behaviour, extreme materialism, and elitism.[2] However, the same study also reported that, “The researchers also found acceptance or rejection of atheists is related not only to personal religiosity, but also to one’s exposure to diversity, education and political orientation — with more educated, East and West Coast Americans more accepting of atheists than their Midwestern counterparts.”[2]

I'm with Padstack, I don't really feel any discrimination because I'm an atheist. I get annoyed with how overwhelming fundamentalists can be, just in terms of how hard they push, but I don't feel like anybody thinks anything different of me because I'm an atheist. Those poll results aren't too surprising to me - many religions believe that it's okay to be gay as long as you're celibate, and even gay people can be religious, but atheists are just a lost cause.

Jayne, this may not be the place for it, but I wanted to express how I felt about some of your comments. Particularly this: "Trust me I am a big time Bowie fan, feel at home in a Rocky Horror picture Show crowd and my best friend for years at the fairly conservative grocery store I work at is a gay man."

To me this is flashing credentials. "Look! I like a famous bisexual musician! I am comfortable around transvestites! I'm friends with a real live gay person!" It feels to me like you're belittling the gay experience. Like "oooh, gay people are so persecuted, but I have gay friends so that makes me great!" I do NOT mean that is what you are saying, as I am quite sure your intent is different, so I don't think you would be saying that. But that's what it feels like when I see comments like that...we are more than just who we love, and it's nice to be appreciated as whole people.

I am a lesbian atheist, and it is a lot more difficult to be gay in this country than to be an atheist. The list of things I cannot do because I'm gay is overwhelming, much more than the 1,138 federal rights denied to us. I don't feel being an atheist has ever held me back in any way, but being a lesbian in America is a daily battle for recognition and equality.

 

[DevilDuckie]

We are travelling to Disneyland in October 2008 when we will have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. Our plan is to go from October 6th-10th. We know that the Gay Days weekend is the 3rd-5th and that the big day at Disneyland is the Saturday the 4th.

Please don't take this with hostility. We just have heard that there is quite a big of PDA (for lack of a better term) amounts GLBT couples during that Saturday. And, we just aren't ready to deal with that with our kids at this young age.

We are trying to avoid this by going during the week rather than the weekend. Does anyone have experience with going to the park/Anaheim the week after Gay Days? Do you still find you are having to deal with this issue a lot?

I hope I haven't hurt anyone's feelings. I'm just a mom needing some insight to protect her kids and avoid a very difficult topic.

Best you skip the entire week. That's a time when families of all sorts (mine included) are in Disneyland and you wouldn't want to spend your whole vacation protecting your kids from that sort of thing.

My spouse and I will be there and kissing all over everywhere. It'll be shocking and outrageous. We'll hold hands and say, "I love you" a lot and we will burst into spontaneous dancing in open spaces for no apparent reason. Oh, and giggling. We do lots of giggling.

I hope this provides the insight you need. That will be a dangerous week in DL on the PDA front.

 

[Etoile]

That reminds me...when we saw the bride-and-groom mouse ears yesterday, we were so tempted to get two bride ears and wear them around, just to get looks from other people! It made me think of this thread. Unfortunately they were $24 each, and we aren't actually having a Disney wedding, so it was too expensive just for laughs.

 

[epcotfan]

I'm curious if the people that are trying to avoid gaydays (because of their personal issues), realize that gay people also visit at other times of the year, not just that particular week.
I also think most young children are oblivious to the private personal relationships between adults when they've got an armful of cotton candy and Dumbo to ride.
I kinda wish I was going to be there for the event (my trip dates don't work out). Sounds like fun. Anyone want to invite a straight girl to the party for 2009?

 

[staley7580]

We went to dl over gay days this past October, and few a couple of experiences.. One was QUITE entertaining, and had nothing to do with gay days, other then the fact that it involved a participant. Dh took dd2 into the mens room to change her diaper. There was a gentleman using the urinal with a Mickey Mouse backpack on... my baby got some overcome with excitement, that she rushed the poor guy, and grabbed his back pack screaming "Mickey!!!!! Mickey!!!" WHILE HE WAS PEEING!! But he was very nice about it, couldnt stop laughing as a matter of fact. Dh on the otherhand... He was about to die!! That was our only "Gay Days" experiance... ( I only know he was with the group from his shirt)

THEN... I was waiting with the baby outside of soaring for my guys to get off, and there was a man next to me with a baby.. We got to talking, and he was going on and on about how upset he was that it was gay days, and how he never would have come if he had known... He was sooooo nasty about it, I was shocked!! But... whatever. We still had fun!

 

[fairycat]

That reminds me...when we saw the bride-and-groom mouse ears yesterday, we were so tempted to get two bride ears and wear them around, just to get looks from other people! It made me think of this thread. Unfortunately they were $24 each, and we aren't actually having a Disney wedding, so it was too expensive just for laughs.

Actually this is so common, that the only reason I even notice is because I just LOVE to wish couples with wedding ears CONGRATS!!!

But that may because I had so much fun wearing mine (though I didn't buy them cause I got married more that I liked to add color cordinating tulle with my outfits). But did make DH wear my Top hat ears when we went after our wedding one trip haha!

 

[mshrm]

Just not my scene. Im with one of the earlier posters and think its good for you to plan around it since its costing you a small fortune and this is your special time at DL. I would expect crowds but not so much because of the Gay days but because of the time of year.

BTW not all the gay people want us there either. My cousin who is gay made the comment to me a few years ago (about Gay days at WDW) that us "breeders and our brats" should stay home because you get the rest of the year! We got along great and this was meant in jest, but I think its somewhat true to how some people feel.

Have a fantastic trip and do it your way!

 

[Laurabearz]

I hope ya'll know that the OP has not even logged back into the DIS to read anyone's answers...

 

[missmonkey]

I am treading into shark infested waters here. The OP is not ready to explain same sex relationships to her children yet. That is her business she is the parent. I have no comment. I will tell you what does bother me. I don't care if your straight, Bi, Trans, gay etc. What really bothers me is very outward PDA in public places anywhere. Burger king, the gas station, Disney whatever. If people would show a little common courtesy and class and stop groping each other and smooshing faces and shoving their tongues down each other throats in public I might have a heck of a lot more tolerance. I personally think Gay Days are giving gay people a bad name! Straight people don't march down the streets proclaiming their straightness. Why do gays have to do the same? Those who are gay and live a normal life without advertising their sexuality are the ones who get my respect. Some gay people complain they are not being treated equally....WELL stop making such a big fuss about your sexuality and show the world what you have to offer besides your sexual orientation....like humanitarian efforts, education etc and then maybe you may start to see a more open acceptance because you have more to offer than ridiculous parades and over the top PDA. I have gay friends who are well educated working in professional fields. They are embarrassed by some of the things I have mentioned and agree with me. So I do have a couple people who support my opinion.....let the flames fly baby!

What I hear is that you don't like PDAs, regardless of the PDA-ers orientations and that, sometimes, gay people can be jerks, just like straight people, and that neither straights nor gays appreciate that. I think that you and I are on the same page.

As for not making a big deal about our sexual orientation and that we should just live our lives, I agree. Too bad that some of us can be fired from our jobs, discharged from the military, refused legal marriages and not be able to take advantage of certain tax breaks all while we are living our lives and being GLBT. We are not the ones doing the separating.

But, like I said, we don't fight those fights in October at the Castle. We're just there to have fun at Disneyland.

 

[50sjayne]

I'm with Padstack, I don't really feel any discrimination because I'm an atheist. I get annoyed with how overwhelming fundamentalists can be, just in terms of how hard they push, but I don't feel like anybody thinks anything different of me because I'm an atheist. Those poll results aren't too surprising to me - many religions believe that it's okay to be gay as long as you're celibate, and even gay people can be religious, but atheists are just a lost cause.

Jayne, this may not be the place for it, but I wanted to express how I felt about some of your comments. Particularly this: "Trust me I am a big time Bowie fan, feel at home in a Rocky Horror picture Show crowd and my best friend for years at the fairly conservative grocery store I work at is a gay man."

To me this is flashing credentials. "Look! I like a famous bisexual musician! I am comfortable around transvestites! I'm friends with a real live gay person!" It feels to me like you're belittling the gay experience. Like "oooh, gay people are so persecuted, but I have gay friends so that makes me great!" I do NOT mean that is what you are saying, as I am quite sure your intent is different, so I don't think you would be saying that. But that's what it feels like when I see comments like that...we are more than just who we love, and it's nice to be appreciated as whole people.

I am a lesbian atheist, and it is a lot more difficult to be gay in this country than to be an atheist. The list of things I cannot do because I'm gay is overwhelming, much more than the 1,138 federal rights denied to us. I don't feel being an atheist has ever held me back in any way, but being a lesbian in America is a daily battle for recognition and equality.

Aye matey--thank you for giving me the benefit of the doubt and yes I felt a little weird posting that way- I just wanted to make it clear that I wasn't saying I had it worse off or that I was anti gay in any way. I guess Randy and I are in the same boat at work really-- neither one of us are able to climb the corporate ladders there(it's all about the football really), but people like him more than me lol. Also there's the family issue-- my Dad who is very christian (he and his wife-- I still talk to my half brother) has disowned me since I 'came out' on my last visit as an atheist. That's OK he told me long ago ( I was roughly 8) God was more important to him than me. He tried a last shot with my daughter awhile back-- was disgusted with her buddist leanings and gave up on her as well. Daughter is very active in her gay/straight alliance group. Very disappointing here lately with the gay marriage bill that passed then was killed federally. UGH.

 

[Alex2kMommy]

I hope ya'll know that the OP has not even logged back into the DIS to read anyone's answers...

I really don't blame her. This was her first post on the DIS, and the response was hardly welcoming.

I've seen this question come up several times. I've seen the answers range from "there was a lot of inappropriate PDA and I would never go again!" to "I saw no inappropriate PDA whatsoever, I would most definitely go again!" Fortunately the former was less common than the latter, but I think the issue lies in people's own preconceived notions and their definition of "inappropriate".

We went during Gay Days in 2007, and our experience was as follows:

* We saw a LOT of red shirts! People were happy, laughing, some were holding hands, lots of kids. Basically, the same thing you'd see any other day at Disneyland.

* My definition of "inappropriate PDA" is groping or shoving your tongue down someone's throat, not holding hands or a peck on the cheek or lips. I will tell you we saw NO inappropriate PDA during our entire stay (8 days), and that includes groups of teenagers (gay or straight) who I think are more likely to do that sort of thing.

* The most shocking thing we saw related to Gay Days was an obnoxious pre-teen boy who shouted, "Ewww, gays!" or some sort of comment at the sea of red shirts. The most shocking thing we saw unrelated to Gay Days was the skimpy little costumes worn to Mickey's Halloween Treats night. Some of the girls wearing them were young adults (with kids even!), but many were obviously young teenage girls. Breasts and behinds were just barely covered, and I was surprised they were let in.


Would we go again in early October? I don't know. We've only been to DL twice, and late September was far less crowded than early October. We don't really do well in crowds (we aren't commando-type parkgoers, and have to return to the hotel for nap for the 3yo), so we were a little rattled just having to walk through such a thick crowd. One night we walked in, crawled our way toward Critter Country, and the crowd just never let up! It was too claustrophic, so we crawled our way back out of the park and spent the evening at the hotel.

The funny thing is that we met friends there who are more experienced parkgoers (like Staley7580), and they said it really wasn't that crowded! Seriously?!

To me, if you are wondering about inappropriate PDA, don't. It's a non-issue, or at least no more an issue than any other time of year. If you are worried about crowds, you might want to go at a less busy time.

 

[Laurabearz]

I really don't blame her. This was her first post on the DIS, and the response was hardly welcoming.

.

Ok.... but they never ever even logged back in to read ANY of the responses... IMO they are a troll... most likely a semi regular here, who created another screen name, just to stir something up.