Avoiding Gay Days- Not bashing the weekend just have kids and need help

[bumbershoot]

Strait parents have the right to teach that it isn't. But seeing it en mass in a public place lends credibility and furthers the PC notion that goes against what some parents teach their children.

And what does this credibility you say would happen DO to the children?

My BIL is gay, and he fought it for YEARS. Dated women, looked at girlie magazines, hid it deep down because he knew that his parents would flip out. But DH says it was always just WEIRD, to see Paul with his dates. He never thought he was gay, but he was just never "right" with his girlfriends. (like on the old Ellen sitcom, how uncomfortable she was on dates with men, before she came out, it just wasn't "right") Finally he admitted it to himself, and then not too long later a boyfriend rudely outed Paul to my in laws.

And his parents did, indeed, disown him for 5 long years. His being gay was a big deal (MIL is Korean, and "there are no gay Koreans" as they like to delude themselves) especially b/c of the Korean thing, because he is also the oldest son and therefore predetermined to take care of the parents when they get old...it was a huge deal, and MIL had two heart attacks during the whole thing (second-born son had to move in with her to take care of her b/c of the rift).

Well she finally calmed down and realized that the "new" boyfriend (not the one who outed him; that guy was kicked to the curb instantly) was a nice guy, and they ended up repairing their relationship.

By the way, there weren't scads of gay people around my BIL, he just knew deep down that these women he was supposed to be dating were absolutely, utterly WRONG for him. No "approval" helped him see that he could date men, it just came from within. And no amount of DISapproval could ultimately stop him, unless he wanted to be miserable and live lies for the rest of his life.

You are who you are, and denying it just makes you insane. I could not one day "decide" I was gay no matter how much approval there might be in the world "for" it, and my gay friends either tried really hard to fit in but ultimately it didn't work, or they were who they were from as soon as people start fantasizing about other people (for me that was 3rd grade) and never "tried" to "fit in".

So really, what does the fact that there are people around them who are who they are DO to a kid?



And it doesn't matter HOW many times a person says "I mean no offense", if what they are saying is offensive. I've had to temper MANY a rant around here because I knew I would have to say "oh but 'no offense' to the normal people of that religion", and as soon as you have to tell people that sort of thing, you should just delete the whole message.

And if that article were what led the OP to ask these questions, shouldn't the fact that it was about WDW spark *something* in her brain that it's very likely different? Even just looking at the HUGE Orlando gaydays website vs the itsy Anaheim gaydays website shows a difference between the two.

 

[autumnbaby9]

Would you sit your 3-year-old in front of a PG-13 movie and just "explain" the objectionable material in an effort to make them "open minded"? Ridiculous.

Actually I have.

I choose to teach my child why something is objectionable (I don't think being gay is BTW) not hide them from it. She gets to watch movies that her friends can't, listen to music that her friends can't and I read books to her that a lot of parents find immoral (Harry Potter, golden Compass, etc).

If there is something in it that I don't like, the I tell her why and explain that if she chooses to behave in that manner she will have to deal with the consequences.

 

[MunkyMe13]

Actually I have.

I choose to teach my child why something is objectionable (I don't think being gay is BTW) not hide them from it. She gets to watch movies that her friends can't, listen to music that her friends can't and I read books to her that a lot of parents find immoral (Harry Potter, golden Compass, etc).

If there is something in it that I don't like, the I tell her why and explain that if she chooses to behave in that manner she will have to deal with the consequences.

My parents raised me the same way. With the exception of extremely gorey horror movies I was not censored from anything. My mother taught me by answering my questions not preventing me from asking them.

 

[IluvDISNEYLAND!]

The OP is not doing anything wrong here. If I’d a read the same article while planning my trip to DL I would have concerns. I think she came to the right place to find out if she indeed should have anything to be concerned about. I think she was doing the proper research. This is the Disboards which are all things Disney, correct? Gay Days is an event that takes place at Disney so why not ask questions.

She didn’t say she was against gays she just doesn’t want to subject her children to the kind of behavior that was described in the article, which was written by a gay man.


Did anybody read the article that someone was kind enough to post the link to? I think that should explain her valid concerns. The author even titles his article, “Go get a room”. Here is the link again. http://www.wdwinfo.com/disney-gay-days.htm

 

[MunkyMe13]

The OP is not doing anything wrong here. If I’d a read the same article while planning my trip to DL I would have concerns. I think she came to the right place to find out if she indeed should have anything to be concerned about. I think she was doing the proper research. This is the Disboards which are all things Disney, correct? Gay Days is an event that takes place at Disney so why not ask questions.

She didn’t say she was against gays she just doesn’t want to subject her children to the kind of behavior that was described in the article, which was written by a gay man.


Did anybody read the article that someone was kind enough to post the link to? I think that should explain her valid concerns. The author even titles his article, “Go get a room”. Here is the link again. http://www.wdwinfo.com/disney-gay-days.htm

I think it might be more valid if it was actually at Disneyland. The 2 parks are different and it may not necessarily be the same group of people. Just because 1 person does something doesn't mean every single other person like him will do the same. He even discusses in the article that its in fact Orlando that is known for drugs and other things so maybe thats why WDW's Gay Day had problems. I dunno I am not here to judge anyone. I just understand why both sides are sensitive and maybe in the future these kinds of questions are asked we can word them a little more carefully.

 

[IluvDISNEYLAND!]

I think it might be more valid if it was actually at Disneyland. The 2 parks are different and it may not necessarily be the same group of people. Just because 1 person does something doesn't mean every single other person like him will do the same.

You are absolutely right, that is why she is doing her research and asking her valid questions.

 

[CanadianGuy]

It is worth pointing out in the interest of putting things in context for those doing their research:

- That article there is at LEAST three years old... maybe more.

- I have been at WDW during the Gay Days event in 2006 and 2007 and saw NOTHING of the sort and even asked Pete to be able to write a rebuttal article or to ask him to make changes to his. In the interest of full disclosure, to Pete's GREAT credit, it was my arguing with him respectfully that led in part to being invited to become a mod! Pete DID make some edits to his article but I feel it is still not balanced and paints a picture that just wasn't my experience two years in a row.

- I actually spent a good chunk of the Saturday at MK looking for overt and disrespectful PDA .. I did see some hand holding!! I did NOT see ANY of the other horrors that Pete described.

- In fairness to Pete, had I experienced any of what he describes, I wouldn't change the article too much either.

I like and respect Pete a great deal and I don't in ANY way doubt his experiences of years prior -- but he and I completely disagree on this issue. I feel if he's going to leave that article up .. he needs to go to the event each year and witness stuff first hand and not rely on one experience from three years ago.

We've agreed to disagree on this one.

I'm here to present another opinion. That's all.

I encourage folks concerned about ANY GayDays event to listen to the podcast linked there where Pete and Kevin discuss it from different points of view.

Knox

PS> I actually stayed All Star Sports for Pop Warner 2007 Football Championships just to see how bad things were.. and it wasn't NEARLY as bad it has been written about extensively on the DISboards. Most things are much worse online than in REAL life. Except bedbugs.

 

[Freyja]

The OP is not doing anything wrong here. If I’d a read the same article while planning my trip to DL I would have concerns. I think she came to the right place to find out if she indeed should have anything to be concerned about. I think she was doing the proper research. This is the Disboards which are all things Disney, correct? Gay Days is an event that takes place at Disney so why not ask questions.

She didn’t say she was against gays she just doesn’t want to subject her children to the kind of behavior that was described in the article, which was written by a gay man.


Did anybody read the article that someone was kind enough to post the link to? I think that should explain her valid concerns. The author even titles his article, “Go get a room”. Here is the link again. http://www.wdwinfo.com/disney-gay-days.htm

She said she needed to PROTECT her children!!!!!!!!!

 

[IluvDISNEYLAND!]

She said she needed to PROTECT her children!!!!!!!!!

Read this article article and maybe it will help explain where she is coming from. http://www.wdwinfo.com/disney-gay-days.htm

 

[MunkyMe13]

It is worth pointing out in the interest of putting things in context for those doing their research:

- That article there is at LEAST three years old... maybe more.

- I have been at WDW during the Gay Days event in 2006 and 2007 and saw NOTHING of the sort and even asked Pete to be able to write a rebuttal article or to ask him to make changes to his. In the interest of full disclosure, to Pete's GREAT credit, it was my arguing with him respectfully that led in part to being invited to become a mod! Pete DID make some edits to his article but I feel it is still not balanced and paints a picture that just wasn't my experience two years in a row.

- I actually spent a good chunk of the Saturday at MK looking for overt and disrespectful PDA .. I did see some hand holding!! I did NOT see ANY of the other horrors that Pete described.

- In fairness to Pete, had I experienced any of what he describes, I wouldn't change the article too much either.

I like and respect Pete a great deal and I don't in ANY way doubt his experiences of years prior -- but he and I completely disagree on this issue. I feel if he's going to leave that article up .. he needs to go to the event each year and witness stuff first hand and not rely on one experience from three years ago.

We've agreed to disagree on this one.

I'm here to present another opinion. That's all.

I encourage folks concerned about ANY GayDays event to listen to the podcast linked there where Pete and Kevin discuss it from different points of view.

Knox

PS> I actually stayed All Star Sports for Pop Warner 2007 Football Championships just to see how bad things were.. and it wasn't NEARLY as bad it has been written about extensively on the DISboards. Most things are much worse online than in REAL life. Except bedbugs.

Thank you for commenting on this. I don't know about anyone else here but I appreciate the followup and giving background on the article. Thanks!!!

 

[Freyja]

Read this article article and maybe it will help explain where she is coming from. http://www.wdwinfo.com/disney-gay-days.htm

I have read it and I have been at WDW during gay days.

 

[mwrogers]

And what does this credibility you say would happen DO to the children?

It endorses something we teach our children is morally wrong. If you teach your child at home that eating green M&M's is wrong, would you take them to Disneyland on "Let's all eat green M&M's" day?

So really, what does the fact that there are people around them who are who they are DO to a kid?

The more you are around something the more accepted it becomes. This can be good or bad. Where would we be today if we hadn't had school integration in the 60's? How much better do we understand other cultures because of the internet? Being exposed to these things have made the world better.

On the flip side, lots of movies in the 80's glorified drug use. That probably wasn't a great thing to be exposed to - drug use spiked among Americans.

To answer your question, we (and many others) choose to teach our children that being gay is not morally right, and don't want that message minimized by attending gay days.

I respect your right to be gay. I stand up for your right to teach your children as you wish. I would fight for you to be able to express your views in public here on DISboards and at gay days. I think it's okay to ask you to allow me to do the same with my opinion.

And it doesn't matter HOW many times a person says "I mean no offense", if what they are saying is offensive.

Ok, here's where you're way off. If a person does mean to offend someone but says "I mean no offense", you're correct.

But if you truly don't mean to offend me and I take offense, it is my fault and my problem. It's not your responsibility to keep track of what offends me.

As long as the person makes a reasonable effort to understand the general culture he/she is addressing, and what is acceptable, that's all that can be expected. There's always going to be one person who gets bent out of shape.

As that applies to the OP, we don't know her true intentions, so all we can go from is what she wrote. No matter how you construe it, there's NOTHING in her post that indicates she's intending to offend anyone.

 

[IluvDISNEYLAND!]

It endorses something we teach our children is morally wrong. If you teach your child at home that eating green M&M's is wrong, would you take them to Disneyland on "Let's all eat green M&M's" day?



The more you are around something the more accepted it becomes. This can be good or bad. Where would we be today if we hadn't had school integration in the 60's? How much better do we understand other cultures because of the internet? Being exposed to these things have made the world better.

On the flip side, lots of movies in the 80's glorified drug use. That probably wasn't a great thing to be exposed to - drug use spiked among Americans.

To answer your question, we (and many others) choose to teach our children that being gay is not morally right, and don't want that message minimized by attending gay days.

I respect your right to be gay. I stand up for your right to teach your children as you wish. I would fight for you to be able to express your views in public here on DISboards and at gay days. I think it's okay to ask you to allow me to do the same with my opinion.



Ok, here's where you're way off. If a person does mean to offend someone but says "I mean no offense", you're correct.

But if you truly don't mean to offend me and I take offense, it is my fault and my problem. It's not your responsibility to keep track of what offends me.

As long as the person makes a reasonable effort to understand the general culture he/she is addressing, and what is acceptable, that's all that can be expected. There's always going to be one person who gets bent out of shape.

As that applies to the OP, we don't know her true intentions, so all we can go from is what she wrote. No matter how you construe it, there's NOTHING in her post that indicates she's intending to offend anyone.

 

[kiwitravel]

To answer your question, we (and many others) choose to teach our children that being gay is not morally right, and don't want that message minimized by attending gay days.

I respect your right to be gay. I stand up for your right to teach your children as you wish. I would fight for you to be able to express your views in public here on DISboards and at gay days. I think it's okay to ask you to allow me to do the same with my opinion.

What if your child finds out they are gay?? You seem to think being gay is a lifestyle choice, whilst I dont agree with some aspects of some gays lifestyle habits, I don't think that being gay is simply something they choose.

I am not in favour of Gay Days because it separatises thinking, a separate day for Gays is no more needed than a separate day for Heterosexuals or any other sexual preference group.

 

[Mrs. Bee]

You're not ready to deal with "that?" They are 1 and 3, do you honestly think they care at that age if a same sex couple hold hands or share a quick kiss? There are a million things for them to lay their eyes upon at Disneyland, what makes you think they care to waste even a second of their time looking to see who is holding hands? The only person who would notice a same sex couple holding hands or sharing a quick kiss is you. And believe you me, you'll be far more likely to see such behavior among your fellow heterosexuals. Frankly, it sounds to me like you're uncomfortable being around "that" and you're using your kids as reason to justify your question on this board.

And just out of curiosity; what do you have to "protect" your kids from? Do you think your kids are in danger? Do you think there will be lesbian couples having sex on main street? Do you think gay men are waiting in Adventure Land to molest your kids? Do you think we will have our recruiters waiting at Tomorrowland to lure them with offers of free toys if we can get them to commit to becoming gay in 14 years? Or do you think it is contagious and you might leave Fantasy Land yearning for a woman? Just curious. As a lesbian mother of a well-adjusted 16 year old, I fail to see what dangers are lurking in the presence of homosexual people at Disneyland.

By the way, you better avoid the Finding Nemo ride. Dory likes girls!

Awesome response. You said everything I was thinking when I read the original post.

 

[Quest4fun]

This is a well organized event. Rest assured the attendees are very respectful to everybody else (especially the children) and I'm certain there will not be any sodomy within eye shot.

I will provide one suggestion. Don't wear red. That's their official color and if you don't want to be associated with them it's a good way to distance yourself otherwise expect to buy a sweatshirt to cover up. Once again, don't buy red.

The worst you'll have to endure is the overwhelming sound of lisps and the exposed shoulders of a few biker chicks. Mullets and handlebar moustaches are also widespread as well as a few crew cuts. Most of them are very well groomed and do their very best to keep the gayness off you and your children. (I'm joking of course)

All joking aside, you probably won't notice any of them. You will still be able to enjoy the Disneyland experience. Homosexuality is not contageous. Your kids will be fine.

Expect to see more PDA's on a non-Gay Day by the teenagers.

I want to apologize for all of the non-tolerant people here. This post is very unfair.

 

[Mrs. Bee]

Dakota ~ You just make me laugh when I read your posts. Clearly there are some things that have yet to be dealt with in your life. There's no other reason to start going off on a simple and innocent question. To each his own...

pumpkin, YOUR posts make me laugh. do you realize how ridiculous your attacks sound? you really should go back and read them.

 

[Mrs. Bee]

ok and has any one heard of AIDs I have known three ppl who have died from aids becouse they wanted to sleep around with same sex ppl. Look I have no problem with ppl chosing what they want and how to live but some the things you have said here is just to wrong. let the one who wrote this post fill safe. She dosnet want to excpose her kids to that I totaly understand that and you shouldnt be makeing it seem that shes so wrong for even thinking that way. and it still is the dark ages it isnt acceptbule to some and why subject our kids to it if we dont want to.

WOW. Just...wow. Are you kidding me with this post???
Yeah. No straight people sleep around. No straight people get HIV or AIDS. Right.

 

[fairycat]

It endorses something we teach our children is morally wrong. If you teach your child at home that eating green M&M's is wrong, would you take them to Disneyland on "Let's all eat green M&M's" day?



The more you are around something the more accepted it becomes. This can be good or bad. Where would we be today if we hadn't had school integration in the 60's? How much better do we understand other cultures because of the internet? Being exposed to these things have made the world better.

On the flip side, lots of movies in the 80's glorified drug use. That probably wasn't a great thing to be exposed to - drug use spiked among Americans.

To answer your question, we (and many others) choose to teach our children that being gay is not morally right, and don't want that message minimized by attending gay days.

I respect your right to be gay. I stand up for your right to teach your children as you wish. I would fight for you to be able to express your views in public here on DISboards and at gay days. I think it's okay to ask you to allow me to do the same with my opinion.



Ok, here's where you're way off. If a person does mean to offend someone but says "I mean no offense", you're correct.

But if you truly don't mean to offend me and I take offense, it is my fault and my problem. It's not your responsibility to keep track of what offends me.

As long as the person makes a reasonable effort to understand the general culture he/she is addressing, and what is acceptable, that's all that can be expected. There's always going to be one person who gets bent out of shape.

As that applies to the OP, we don't know her true intentions, so all we can go from is what she wrote. No matter how you construe it, there's NOTHING in her post that indicates she's intending to offend anyone.

Ok I was going to stay out of this but I have a few issues with your logic.

First, while I was raised to love, respect and not judge others by my parents, so I do not judge people for being any race, religion or sexual orientation. I do not feel that being gay is a choice or wrong. Clearly we disagree here, but that is not my point.

My point is how filmsy is your teaching if you truely believe one outing where your child might see a same sex couple holding hands will tell your children your teaching is not the "correct way". Studies and life show that lessons "fully" taught at home stick with a child, and are not that heavily changed by exposure to the opposite outside influence.

There are many children who have been indoctrinated with their parents beliefs and even though they see the opposites opinions in media still believe what they were taught by their parents. This works in good ways (religion) and bad ways (prejudisim, look at the KKK twins).

I have an issue with your drug example first I find it a bit derogatory towards Homosexuals to associate the two and second its a weak analogy. Drug use in the 80's rose because of many social and economic issues. That is like saying the Sixties drug culture only happened because the of The Beatles. While it might work in, it really is not a major point in the whole workings of that culture.

If you are really offended by your child seeing homosexuals in a human and interactive way then please skip Gay Day's everyone will be very happy. I don't feel you should go as no one will be made very comfortable. But also expect to see Homosexual couples interacting on any given day at Disney. It has become a very "Gay Friendly" place. Also please don't jump and buy Gay Day discount tickets or get room discounts because that is just tacky (not saying you are but have seen some do it).

I will end in saying I have been during Gay Day's and if I went again I would make sure I was in the opposite park on their schedule purely based on crowds. I also saw nothing inappropriate and many of the couples I saw were families with their own children, who I doubt want their kids seeing over the top PDA's any more then you do for your children.

I have had more issues with straight teen girls and their inappropriate clothing (pants cut in a way that you could see the front of the girls panties), and a shirt that in a not so clever way said the "F" word. No idea how they got in like that since my friend was stopped for a shirt that said "Rub your butt" with a picture of a bar of soap, but those got through???

I truely believe that everyone is allowed to have their own opinion, but except that others might be offend of have something to say about it. We are not close friends here, we can be internet buddies but until you hear and see some one's inflection in person it can be hard to get the full meaning of what is said. So maybe the OP meant no offense and mischose their words, maybe not we will never truely know.

 

[fairycat]

What if your child finds out they are gay?? You seem to think being gay is a lifestyle choice, whilst I dont agree with some aspects of some gays lifestyle habits, I don't think that being gay is simply something they choose.

I am not in favour of Gay Days because it separatises thinking, a separate day for Gays is no more needed than a separate day for Heterosexuals or any other sexual preference group.

Kiwitravel- I wanted to address the reason they do this is twofold, first it is a way to create a comfortable spot with other like minded people, to have a fun and safe day, as well as a small way to show their "humanness".

Sadly the US is very behind other countries in our exceptance of homosexuality. In this country you can still be attacked or killed for being openly gay. This has made having a fun and safe place to be yourself very important, not just to make a statement but more to relax and have fun. In fact you can see people get harassed at DL even in some of the examples here people had on Gay Day's.

DLR has many unoffical days starting back to the "Hippie Days" (that went VERY bad), to Gay Day's, and my favorite Bat's Day for Goth and Industrial people. I know their are lots more. Because these events are not sponsored by Disney and are not advertised outside the community it is less about keeping these groups seperate from other people and more about having a huge outting with several 100 to 1000's of your closest friends, aquaintances and others who are like minded.

I don't think it is meant as a poltical event, but as a weekend of fun!