Autism--Questions.....

[emma'smom]

Well, I'm just curious about what others think if this situation.

My dd3 just started preschool this week in a small private school. There happens to be an autistic child in her class. Apparently, the child started the year last year, but did not continue (I don't know why). He is back this year and apparently spends the entire class session yelling, refusing to join in class activities, throwing tantrums, and disrupting the class. This is a Montessori school where the students are expected to work somewhat quietly and independently or in small groups and there are very prescribed ways to use the materials and only after the teacher introduces them.

The school does not have any other publicly identified "special needs" students and the teachers are not special education teachers. The student is supposed to be accompanied by an aide (and is), but apparently this person isn't able to handle the situation either. Apparently, he has been very distracting to the other children and requires a great deal of the teacher's time.

When I hear that an autistic child would be in my dd's class, my initial reaction was very positive. First of all, autistic children can be all over the spectrum and I assumed he would probably be high-functioning to be placed in this kind of environment. I also thought it would be helpful to my own dd to understand that there are many different kinds of kids in the world.

However, we are paying a lot of tuition to send my dd here and we want her to have the best experience possible--one where the calm, quiet environment that we have selected for our child is not disrupted (nor is the attention of the teacher).

So, my question is----when should I say something? I want to respect this child's right to a Least Restrictive Environment, but not at the expense of my own child's education (nor at my tuition's expense).

What to do....what are other's thoughts? Am I being narrow minded?

 

[MyDizneyBoyz]

Personally, I'd ask if you could observe the classroom for a day in your role as a curious parent who wants to see how her DD spends the majority of her day - preferably if there's a way to observe so that your DD wouldn't know you were there (CCTV, one-way window, etc.). Get a first-hand look at the situation.

All our boys go to Kindercare and they're quite accommodating for parents that want to observe for a while and all the rooms have interior windows with one-way glass.

If any issues arise that concern you, I'd speak to the center director or equivalent about it and get their feedback.

Having 3 boys in preschool, I know that sometimes things that happen in the classroom can get blown out of proportion. NOT that I'm implying this is the case in your situation, but if I heard that a child was constantly disrupting my child's class, I'd want to see how accurate the info is before taking too much action.

I think you've definitely got the right attitude about it - calm and logical and open to discussion. I'm sure the staff will be more than willing to address your concerns.

 

[MightyMom]

Well, I'm just curious about what others think if this situation.

My dd3 just started preschool this week in a small private school. There happens to be an autistic child in her class. Apparently, the child started the year last year, but did not continue (I don't know why). He is back this year and apparently spends the entire class session yelling, refusing to join in class activities, throwing tantrums, and disrupting the class. This is a Montessori school where the students are expected to work somewhat quietly and independently or in small groups and there are very prescribed ways to use the materials and only after the teacher introduces them.

What to do....what are other's thoughts? Am I being narrow minded?

Are you being narrow minded? Well, I guess that depends on who you ask.

If you ask me. I would say, "Yes, you are being narrow minded."

Long are the days when we lock away our special needs children in a portable building in the back of the school so they won't disrupt the "normal" kids learning day.

By no means am I insinuating that this thought has even entered into your mind.... but I do get the feeling that you feel it would best for your daughter if this child was no longer in the class room.

And let me be clear....in your post you said he "refuses to join in class activities". He doesn't CHOOSE to do anything. This is not the life he choose for himself. This is not the life his parents choose for him. He has impulse control issues that he can not turn off and on depending on the class activity he is asked to participate in.

Just as you want the best for your daughter.... I assure you those parents want the best for their son. They are also paying tuition. I'm sure they want to give him the best possible enviornment to reach his greatest potential.... just as you want for your daughter.

I understand your frustration..... but as a parent of two children with special needs...... I wish there was a better answer to solve both of our frustrations.
I can not begin to express to you the amount of crap we have to deal with just to get our kids a quality education.

Sounds to me like the staff needs to get better control of the situation. There are so many strategies that can be implemented.

I have to tell you how sad it makes me when I hear about kids with autism being kicked out of day care facilities, air planes and churches.

My DS8 has cerebral palsy.... and DS4 has Sensory Integration Disorder (which can mimic high funtioning autism). I dont' know what it's like to have a "typical" child. I'm on the other side of the fence from you..... but I can "see" your side of the issues and understand your frustration. I hope you can do the same.

I'm glad you've been patient and you are seeking advice before storming into the facility demanding changes. Many people would be seeing red and would never take the time to really look at the situation as you have done. I see you are really trying to be reasonable. But... I hope you can see why it would rub me the wrong way. I hope I've been clear..... because I'm trying really hard to see your point of view.

BTW. Who has told you that the child is so disruptive? If it is the teacher... perhaps she is feeling overwhelmed and she needs to speak to the administration. If it is your daughter..... perhaps she is apprehensive and you need to speak to the administration about possible solutions to this issue. Perhaps this will get the administration moving to hire more competent staff to deal with the situation so everyone can learn in harmony.

 

[Octoberbabiesrus]

As a mom of a autistic child, my son has Aspergers, I wouldnt want him to be disruptive. That enviroment is not the best for a autistic child. I believe the pp before said her son was autistic. As parents of autistic children, we want the best for our kids. But not at someone elses expense. NO u are not being narrow minded. For the pp to insinuate such is ridiculous.

 

[Lilogirl]

How do you know he has been "distracting" to other students? How do you know the aide is not "able to handle" the situation? Are you in the classroom? Or is someone else telling you this? If this information comes from the teacher-shame on them. And I woud speak to the administration as the child's privacy is being compromised.

As far as what you have stated-school has just started (this week). MANY children take a little time to "warm" up to a new environment. (Some childrne with autism do very well once a routine is in place) I am sure there are other children in the class you are "not participating" in class activities as well. As another poster said, children with autism don't make choices. He did not choose to have autism and neither did his parents.


As far as your question "Am I being narrow minded?" Yes, you are. Your complaint is you are spending alot of money for this school. So are the parents of the child with autism. perhaps the parents of this boy want the best experience for him as well. Why does your child have more rights that he does?

What would you say to the school? Demand that the child be removed from your child's classroom?

I would see if you can visit the classroom. And go from there. Given a little time the class may settle down. If the teacher feels the placement is not working she should speak with the administrator.

Well, I'm just curious about what others think if this situation.

My dd3 just started preschool this week in a small private school. There happens to be an autistic child in her class. Apparently, the child started the year last year, but did not continue (I don't know why). He is back this year and apparently spends the entire class session yelling, refusing to join in class activities, throwing tantrums, and disrupting the class. This is a Montessori school where the students are expected to work somewhat quietly and independently or in small groups and there are very prescribed ways to use the materials and only after the teacher introduces them.

The school does not have any other publicly identified "special needs" students and the teachers are not special education teachers. The student is supposed to be accompanied by an aide (and is), but apparently this person isn't able to handle the situation either. Apparently, he has been very distracting to the other children and requires a great deal of the teacher's time.

When I hear that an autistic child would be in my dd's class, my initial reaction was very positive. First of all, autistic children can be all over the spectrum and I assumed he would probably be high-functioning to be placed in this kind of environment. I also thought it would be helpful to my own dd to understand that there are many different kinds of kids in the world.

However, we are paying a lot of tuition to send my dd here and we want her to have the best experience possible--one where the calm, quiet environment that we have selected for our child is not disrupted (nor is the attention of the teacher).

So, my question is----when should I say something? I want to respect this child's right to a Least Restrictive Environment, but not at the expense of my own child's education (nor at my tuition's expense).

What to do....what are other's thoughts? Am I being narrow minded?

 

[1hero2princesses]

No I don't think you are being narrow minded. It seems like you are being very reasonable. I would make sure you see it and determine for yourself what is actually happening and not take anyone else's word for it. We all want is best for our children and if the problems you describe are happening everyone probably needs some help finding a way to cope, especially the little boy who has autism.

 

[MightyMom]

As a mom of a autistic child, my son has Aspergers, I wouldnt want him to be disruptive. That enviroment is not the best for a autistic child. I believe the pp before said her son was autistic. As parents of autistic children, we want the best for our kids. But not at someone elses expense. NO u are not being narrow minded. For the pp to insinuate such is ridiculous.

I didn't insinuate she was being narrow minded. I flat out said I felt she was being narrow minded.

That's my opinion.

I also gave her input on some solutions for this problem.

Listen. I'm gonna lay this on the table now because it is getting irritating. Beleive it or not... from the little I've read in your posts.... you and I seem to have a lot in common. We tend to disagree on some major issues though. I'm always up for a friendly debate, but at the end of the day I would hope that we could agree to disagree without belittling each others opinions.

 

[KirstenB]

Personally, I'd ask if you could observe the classroom for a day in your role as a curious parent who wants to see how her DD spends the majority of her day - preferably if there's a way to observe so that your DD wouldn't know you were there (CCTV, one-way window, etc.). Get a first-hand look at the situation.

All our boys go to Kindercare and they're quite accommodating for parents that want to observe for a while and all the rooms have interior windows with one-way glass.

If any issues arise that concern you, I'd speak to the center director or equivalent about it and get their feedback.

Having 3 boys in preschool, I know that sometimes things that happen in the classroom can get blown out of proportion. NOT that I'm implying this is the case in your situation, but if I heard that a child was constantly disrupting my child's class, I'd want to see how accurate the info is before taking too much action.

I think you've definitely got the right attitude about it - calm and logical and open to discussion. I'm sure the staff will be more than willing to address your concerns.

This is a great suggestion. It sounds like the autistic child's sensory needs aren't being met, so he's unable to keep calm and attend to activities. Our younger dd is 3 and mildly autistic and is starting special ed preschool. I can't imagine her in a regular preschool right now. It would be over-stimulating and frustrating. BTW, I don't think you're narrow minded.

 

[ChrisandDon'sMommy]

Are you being narrow minded? Well, I guess that depends on who you ask.

If you ask me. I would say, "Yes, you are being narrow minded."

Long are the days when we lock away our special needs children in a portable building in the back of the school so they won't disrupt the "normal" kids learning day.

By no means am I insinuating that this thought has even entered into your mind.... but I do get the feeling that you feel it would best for your daughter if this child was no longer in the class room.

And let me be clear....in your post you said he "refuses to join in class activities". He doesn't CHOOSE to do anything. This is not the life he choose for himself. This is not the life his parents choose for him. He has impulse control issues that he can not turn off and on depending on the class activity he is asked to participate in.

Just as you want the best for your daughter.... I assure you those parents want the best for their son. They are also paying tuition. I'm sure they want to give him the best possible enviornment to reach his greatest potential.... just as you want for your daughter.

I understand your frustration..... but as a parent of two children with special needs...... I wish there was a better answer to solve both of our frustrations.
I can not begin to express to you the amount of crap we have to deal with just to get our kids a quality education.

Sounds to me like the staff needs to get better control of the situation. There are so many strategies that can be implemented.

I have to tell you how sad it makes me when I hear about kids with autism being kicked out of day care facilities, air planes and churches.

My DS8 has cerebral palsy.... and DS4 has Sensory Integration Disorder (which can mimic high funtioning autism). I dont' know what it's like to have a "typical" child. I'm on the other side of the fence from you..... but I can "see" your side of the issues and understand your frustration. I hope you can do the same.

I'm glad you've been patient and you are seeking advice before storming into the facility demanding changes. Many people would be seeing red and would never take the time to really look at the situation as you have done. I see you are really trying to be reasonable. But... I hope you can see why it would rub me the wrong way. I hope I've been clear..... because I'm trying really hard to see your point of view.

BTW. Who has told you that the child is so disruptive? If it is the teacher... perhaps she is feeling overwhelmed and she needs to speak to the administration. If it is your daughter..... perhaps she is apprehensive and you need to speak to the administration about possible solutions to this issue. Perhaps this will get the administration moving to hire more competent staff to deal with the situation so everyone can learn in harmony.

I agree. That child has every right to be there as your child. Be mindful that it could be your child that's the most disruptive. Tomorrow is never promised to us. The shoe could easily be placed on the other foot.

Besides, this is Preschool. What are you concerned about? Missing the proper alphabetic sequence? Skipping a note in "Mary Had a Little Lamb"? Yes, I'm being sarcastic, but I do care about all parties involved, even if I don't personally know you. A lot of what will be learned should be reinforced by you anyway, especially the aspect of not having a calm school day every day.

She'll be fine. Allow her to be as resilient as children are supposed to be.

Good luck!

P.S. Not for the OP, but for PP, one thing I've noticed about message boards: if you can't handle difference of opinions, it's best not to go on them. Otherwise, be prepared for such differences.

 

[Crazy4Disney72]

As a mom of a autistic child, my son has Aspergers, I wouldnt want him to be disruptive. That enviroment is not the best for a autistic child. I believe the pp before said her son was autistic. As parents of autistic children, we want the best for our kids. But not at someone elses expense. NO u are not being narrow minded. For the pp to insinuate such is ridiculous.

Another mom of an autistic child chiming in here and while I don't think narrow-minded is exactly the word I would use, at this point you may be a little premature in your concerns. School just started this week, and even typically-developing children often have A LOT of trouble adjusting. I work in a preschool program with 2's and 3's, so I have seen this first hand many times. However, I do understand your concern if after several weeks' time, things are not changing for this child. If it were my autistic son, I would question if this program is really the right fit for him if after all that time he was still being so disruptive. While I do believe that autistic/special needs children have the right to a decent education, I've never understood parents that will force the issue when their child is clearly not ready for the general ed. classroom and would probably benefit more from instruction designed for their particular needs. Before anyone says I would feel differently if it were my son being disruptive and I were paying for the school just like the OP is paying for her child, my DS is 11 now but when he was 3, we were in a similar situation and we eventually pulled him out and it ended up being the best thing for HIM, as well as, I'm sure, the rest of the kids in the class.

As other posters have also mentioned, I do wonder where you are getting your information, could you possibly be getting it from someone who is exagerating because they don't think the autistic child even deserved a chance to see if the regular preschool would possibly work? I would give it some time and do your own observations before you say anything.

 

[sk!mom]

I do not think you're being narrow minded. I have been in classrooms where one child is so disruptive that no one can learn. If that is the case here, then it needs to be dealt with and corrected so that everyone's needs are met.

I like the suggestion to go in and observe. I would do that and then you can decide for yourself if the classroom environment was what you were promised at this school and the enviroment that you want for your DD. If you find that this student is causing too much disruption then you should speak with an administrator about how the school plans to remedy the situation. It could be that they want to give everyone time to adjust and I would have no problem with waiting a couple of weeks to see if the situation remedies itself.

 

[zoemurr]

is this aid new to the child? (I'm a preschool teacher..)

We had a little boy who was not classified, but I believe was on the spectrum. He was violent without being provoked, and basically non verbal. Anyway, after his aid was there for awhile she realized that he needed to be removed from the classroom for a few minutes at the start of class and let free to run around. After he got out some energy he was much better behaved. She needed a while to get to know him and find something that worked.

If the teachers have had him before than they must not be too worried about the situation or they would have found an excuse not to welcome him back. We had another little boy who had a lot of trouble focusing, was awful to his peers, and lied about everything. We asked his mother over an over to please have him evaluated because he was disruptive. For whatever reason she kept refusing. So, he was politely asked not to return this year.

This boy's parents are doing what they can right now.. if you are still concerned in a month or so you can sit down with the director.. but honestly from a teacher's point of view I'm not sure what we would tell you.. or what we would be allowed to. Unfortunatly there is gonna be some kid that stands out in your child's class every year for different reasons.

How do you know there aren't any othe special needs kids in there? That is private information. Also, more probably will be. Most kids aren't classified until after the age of 3.

 

[JUJU814]

Well, I'm just curious about what others think if this situation.

My dd3 just started preschool this week in a small private school. There happens to be an autistic child in her class. Apparently, the child started the year last year, but did not continue (I don't know why). He is back this year and apparently spends the entire class session yelling, refusing to join in class activities, throwing tantrums, and disrupting the class. This is a Montessori school where the students are expected to work somewhat quietly and independently or in small groups and there are very prescribed ways to use the materials and only after the teacher introduces them.

The school does not have any other publicly identified "special needs" students and the teachers are not special education teachers. The student is supposed to be accompanied by an aide (and is), but apparently this person isn't able to handle the situation either. Apparently, he has been very distracting to the other children and requires a great deal of the teacher's time.

When I hear that an autistic child would be in my dd's class, my initial reaction was very positive. First of all, autistic children can be all over the spectrum and I assumed he would probably be high-functioning to be placed in this kind of environment. I also thought it would be helpful to my own dd to understand that there are many different kinds of kids in the world.

However, we are paying a lot of tuition to send my dd here and we want her to have the best experience possible--one where the calm, quiet environment that we have selected for our child is not disrupted (nor is the attention of the teacher).

So, my question is----when should I say something? I want to respect this child's right to a Least Restrictive Environment, but not at the expense of my own child's education (nor at my tuition's expense).

What to do....what are other's thoughts? Am I being narrow minded?

Hi, I understand your concerns and don't have much to add in regards to the autism.

However, don't fool yourself into assuming because it's a Montessori school that it will be a "calm quiet environment". My children have gone to a good Montessori school for the last 2 years. It is a three year program and the classes are all combined. With 27 children it is anything but "calm and quiet". There are plenty of distractions and distracting children that do NOT have autism.

There are a wide range of personalities of children you will find in a Montessori school. Many are children that won't fit in a traditional school setting and MANY have "issues".

My son is one. He just finished K. Towards the latter half of his K year he did become disruptive to other children as he is ADHD. He also has sensory integration and could not handle the distractions and loud noise from the other children.

When you drop in on a preschool montessori day, it is NOT going to be quiet. you will find children in all different areas doing different pieces of work. There are likely to be several adults about. I was wondering what my son was talking about when he would tell me it was too loud and "made his head want to explode". I showed up unannounced on two different occasions and it is indeed "loud". Any environment with that many preschoolers is going to be! It made my head want to explode too. LOL

I just don't want you to be disillusioned that just because it's a Montessori school that it's a "calm quiet" environment.

The Montessori method is a fantastic method where the child learns in a prepared environment. The year begins with very little materials and each day during circle the teacher will introduce a special piece of work or concept and the children choose what they want to work on. They are taught respect and not to interrupt other childrens work. However, there are always behavior issues.

I had a huge problem with the behavior of another child at their school and he was not autistic or adhd or anything. No matter where we have our kids at school, or how much money we pay for it, there is always, every year, going to be something or someone we don't like. It's part of life and it's best to learn to deal with it early on and teach them how. We paid $16k last year to send my dd and ds to this school.

I am not sending my son back to Montessori this year or elementary but I am sending my daughter or pre k 4. He did great with it at first but he really needs one on one constant redirection and the unstructured montessori environment is not for him any longer. He will be homeschooled this year.

Anyway, just don't fool yourself into thinking that Montessori is a calm quiet environment. It can be sometimes, but so can public school sometimes. It's a different educational philosophy and method.

Julie

 

[carj]

I understand your concerns but I would give it some time. There is an adjustment period for everyone and I would wait a little while before you do anything.

I do also wonder where you are getting the information about the child and what is going on in the class. (I am guessing from other parents who knew of the child from the previous year??) It really is best to let the teacher handle the dynamics of the classroom.

I can almost promise that this child with autism is not the only child who may be disrupting things in a class of 3 year olds!

As far as being narrow-minded, no. I think that you are a mom who wants what is best for her child, no different than the mom of the child with Autism. If after time, you feel that this classroom setting is not the best for your child, then I wouldn't hesitate to make a change for her.

You can't control the enrollment of the class but you can decide if the environment is right for your daughter. If the teacher and the aide are able to meet everyone's needs, than that will be wonderful. Hopefully, if you give it a few weeks, everyone will settle down and get into a routine.

 

[JUJU814]

Well, I'm just curious about what others think if this situation.

My dd3 just started preschool this week in a small private school. There happens to be an autistic child in her class. Apparently, the child started the year last year, but did not continue (I don't know why). He is back this year and apparently spends the entire class session yelling, refusing to join in class activities, throwing tantrums, and disrupting the class. This is a Montessori school where the students are expected to work somewhat quietly and independently or in small groups and there are very prescribed ways to use the materials and only after the teacher introduces them.

The school does not have any other publicly identified "special needs" students and the teachers are not special education teachers. The student is supposed to be accompanied by an aide (and is), but apparently this person isn't able to handle the situation either. Apparently, he has been very distracting to the other children and requires a great deal of the teacher's time.

When I hear that an autistic child would be in my dd's class, my initial reaction was very positive. First of all, autistic children can be all over the spectrum and I assumed he would probably be high-functioning to be placed in this kind of environment. I also thought it would be helpful to my own dd to understand that there are many different kinds of kids in the world.

However, we are paying a lot of tuition to send my dd here and we want her to have the best experience possible--one where the calm, quiet environment that we have selected for our child is not disrupted (nor is the attention of the teacher).

So, my question is----when should I say something? I want to respect this child's right to a Least Restrictive Environment, but not at the expense of my own child's education (nor at my tuition's expense).

What to do....what are other's thoughts? Am I being narrow minded?

You know, after re-reading your post, I see a lot of "apparantly"s in there. How do you know this information? Where are you getting it from? I would like to think that the staff did not share this information with you. Are you getting it from another parent/s? If so, that's gossip.

BTW, refusing to join in class activities...Montessori children are TOTALLY allowed to refuse. They aren't made to do anything they don't want to do. (the one problem I DO have with Montessori) They are supposed to have limits..at least our teacher set behavior limits, but my son many days "refused" to sit in circle and would sit under the coat rack instead. Some days he "refused" to do any work. If your daughter has one of those days, it is totally within the Montessori way to allow her to "refuse" to do any work for a whole day. It is entirely child led. If she wants to sit and do pouring in the practical life room ALL day, then that is her "sensitive" area.

It is extremely understandable to want the very very best atmosphere for your child. She's just starting her school life and you're investing a lot of $$ in the school. I just have to tell you though, having now 2 years of this under my belt, I've seen some pretty obnoxious parents having a bloody fit if little Sally wasn't doing this, this or that or having an anxiety attack because Jimmy "refused" to go into the Language room for 4 months etc.

My observations of the mix of children in the montessori school were the "granola bar" ie: very natural, gentle way of education..whole health etc; the rich yuppies with the ridiculously expensive birthday parties etc, some seemingly just "normal" families, if there is such a thing , and children that really would not be able to make it in a traditional school setting for whatever reason. I loved this method because to me it was the next best thing to homeschooling, which at the time I just did not have in me to do anymore (did it for 7 years with my oldest)

When you're in a private school like that, parents chit chat and gossip and talk about this kid and that one. It can be even worse at the birthday parties..oh you just wait till all those invitations start flooding in. you'll never have a free weekend again..LOL

Just let yourself see it with your own eyes and be careful. I'm not sure what you mean by "apparantly" but there were a lot of them in your post and since school jsut started, and I assume you're not there all day, I imagine you're getting that info from someone.

The school should not have ANY publicly identified special needs. that is private, confidential information.

Caring, character, creativity, community..these are things the Montessori method focus on. They provide an excellent foundation for future learning.

 

[karynnix]

Yes, you are being narrow minded and passing judgement on a child who can't change the way he is. Every child is entitled to an education...INCLUDING children that you may not want in a class with your child.

My son has autism and has caused his share of disruptions, and I would be heartbroken if I knew that another parent thought of him the way you think of this child and posted things about him on a message board like you have. Open your heart to different people and you will find that we are all the same.

 

[momtoBrandon&Jacob]

To the OP, you do realize that no matter what school or classroom your dd will be in, there will always be kids that are different from her. There will always be the "bad" kid, the "bully", etc. What are you going to do each time there is a child that is "different" than your daughter - demand he/she be removed from her class?? Just because this particular child is autistic you chose to pick on him? I wonder if this child were not autistic, but still causing disruptions, and not participating in activies (which is really not your business anyway), would you still be concerned or is it just because this is a special needs child?

 

[Lavender_Blue]

Woah...I don't think the OP was implying that BECAUSE this child is autistic that they should be removed. The OP didn't say anything about removing anyone.

I don't think the OP should be called narrow-minded when they're honestly asking for advice from us DISers. To me, it looks like the OP is trying to avoid going about things the wrong way by asking for our thoughts (and by asking for our thoughts is also willing to accept if she isn't looking at things from the proper point of view for lack of knowing). At least she's asking. =)

Granted, some of the things the OP said were a bit premature, as pointed out by a PP. But we've had lots of great responses from people giving out reasonable advice that I think the OP will be receptive to. The OP does have the sense to check on the situation herself. I do believe it is her business to see if her daughter is in good learning environment. I should hope that the OP means to find out if the SCHOOL is at fault for the way it is handling things, rather than if the child is at fault (because it's not the fault of the child at all). But, as a PP said, it's the start of school. Any child would be anxious. And I do believe that the child is indeed just adjusting to the change, in which case, what would you expect the school to do?

Also, I have to be skeptical of some of the OP's "facts" about what is going on because it does sound like gossip to me. The ONLY - and I'll repeat ONLY - reason I say that is because I don't know what teacher would disclose that a child in the class is "autistic." That's not their information to give out. Nor have I heard of a child being diagnosed that early, but then..I am a bit behind in these things.

All the other suggestions I have have already been said by the other wise DISers.

 

[brymolmom]

OP - this is a tough situation all around and like some of the others have said on both sides...it is tough to truly find a 'solution'. My son, in a public school, had a little girl join his Kindergarten class after about a month into school last year - this girl was a behavior problem. She took a LOT of the teacher's time - there were 21 kids in the classroom - it was not a special ed. classroom. During our first conference with the teacher, after hearing about ds's progress, this was tops on my list for discussion. I asked her how she was going to get this girl down to the same amount of 'one on one' time that my son deserved from her too. The teacher was very good, had the necessary discussions and got an aide in the room which did help improve (but not 'solve') things.

It is tough all the way around - in some ways 'mainstreaming' kids helps, in some ways it hurts. There is no way I will ever believe that having a constantly disruptive child in a classroom (not just talking occassionally) - for whatever the reason (just poorly behaved, special need causing it, etc.) does not negatively affect the rest of the children. Unfortunately there is no ultimate solution. And schools will sometimes not give equal time as long as the majority of the kids can pass all the tests - they won't care/don't need to spend that extra time with the kids to get them to excel. That's why we as parents, regarless of ability of our kids, need to fight and stay involved to be sure they are getting everything they need to be in their classroom.

So, OP, I think you are doing your job correctly - making sure your child is getting everything she should be and not being looked over for whatever reasons in her classroom. Just like all who have posted here are all for striving for the best for their own children!

 

[dreamin_disney]

this is a very sensitive issue. I understand both parts, your part as a parent who wants your child to recieve the best education especially if paying lots of money. And the parent of the autistic child that wants their child to be included with other children .

I think you should observe a few times and see whats going on.
I work as a special ed aide and have had a child in class like you describe. It was very difficult for me , the teacher and other students. Students found it difficult to concentrate. The teacher and I were both drained trying to accomendate ALL the kids. The child we had was also violent to us and the other students , sometimes for no reason at all. People in high positions knew but basically expect the teacher and aide to take care of it.

This was not the right placement for the autistic child we had. After an incident he was moved to a class with a teacher and 3 aides and only 8 students.


I think the autistic child and other students were both let down by the school to provide a good, healthy learning environment for both of their needs.
I think you should voice your opinion and concerns to the teacher and person in charge especially if

is affecting your child: doesnt want to go to school, complains, change in attitude, change in appetite, bed wetting then you need to bring those issues up with the person in charge and teacher.

It might also be to much for the autistic child especially if theres lots of noise, changes, lack of structure etc. Maybe a better environment for his needs is also needed.
Good Luck!