~ Aug 2013~ Sew what... We've gotta find a way back! Part I!!

[blessedmom4]

I know you understand why I have been MIA. I just wanted to stop by and say I am praying for all involved.

 

[DMGeurts]

I am so sorry to hear about the problems you are having in your town. It's hard enough being a teenager without the added stress. It's really good that you are so close to your girls. My mom and I have that kind of relationship, I consider her my best friend. I don't have any advice seeing as I don't have kids of my own but just know you and your girls are in my thoughts and prayers.

Wow D~, not sure what I would do. I totally understand your gut response to pulling her out of school. But, I also feel that this is a time for her to learn and know that her family is all around her!

it's fantastic you have that open relationship with your daughters. This is truly a very sad and confusing time for such a young crowd. Your an AMAZING mom

need anything please let me know!!!

oh no, what a tough time for the kids and their families....


speaking from experience with Megan....look into grief counseling for Alli...do you have a Hospice group near by? they offer free counseling to anyone in need (that who we go to) you don't need to have had anyone use Hospice services to use the counseling.

I hope the school is being on top of this and getting extra counsellers into the school.

Didn't know if I wanted to post my experiences, but I decided to post.

I had a similar experience when DD25 was a senior in high school. One late winter day while I was at work, I got a phone call from school...Mary was sobbing and sick and wanted to go home. I gave permission for her to drive home, but I wanted her to call me before starting the drive home.

Five minutes later, Mary called...One of her school's administrators (to whom Mary became close to) put a gun to his head and shot himself.

Several years earlier was was a driver in a car crashed which killed his daughter, a student at the school. After that tragic day, he plunged headlong into school fundraising, always in memory of his daughter.

I guess the guilt finally got to him.

School was cancelled that Friday, so that the teachers and administrators could go to the funeral. Mary also went.

So yes, I would have kept my child home for the first day (if she was that upset). But I would urge her to go the following day.

Such a tragic story, just like what Alli is experiencing. So glad you were able to provide first hand experience to help encourage D~ in making the right decision. Thank you for sharing, I am sure it was a difficult time in your life to revisit. I just love the DIS for so many reasons...and this is another great reason to add to the list.

I don't know what to say or do...other than say we are all here for you! Such a horrible time for your whole community! My heart goes out for you all!

Oh D my heart just breaks for your town and your DD. What a seriously rough spot to be in! I think that I would have likely pulled mine out of school in the same situation. Good for you on writing the people who are supposed to be in charge! I hope they can get on top of this and be able to support these kiddos at such a hard time! My thoughts nad prayers are with you guys!

I have no wise or comforting words to offer...but you will have my prayers for sure!!!!

Maybe you guys need to escape town for a couple of days? it's turning into an epidemic..
Being in my lovely town, you know the media is all about rumors.. someone Needs to stand up and make a town meeting of sorts. Call in major media. Get the help these poor children and their families need. I understand Sandy right now is the Popular story.
My heart just breaks.
I'm so glad to know 'A' isn't part of any of this. What a blessing.
I pray for your community.

Sorry to hear the school is not doing more. My kids go to school in the same district as Columbine. There was a recent incident that really affected an elementary school on the other side of the district. Not only did they have counselors on hand at every school in the district they also had substitutes available at every school if the teachers needed to step away for a few minutes. This district is huge, we live a half hour away from where this all happened and they still offered all that to our school as well.

At the very least I would think they should have substitutes on hand. All these kids are looking up to the teachers so to see them walk away for a minute to talk to a counselor is probably more beneficial than seeing them break down in front of the class.

One last thing I would not worry about Ali missing too much school work, sounds like there is not a lot of teaching going on right now. If I were you I would give her a few days and then slowly get her back into the school. It may take time for the school to get back to normal, as normal as it can get under the circumstances, but I think it is a life expereience for her to learn through.

Hugs...I wish I had some words of wisdom...but I don't.


When something like that (although not as bad) happens here, we are encouraged to send the kids to school. Their reasoning is the kids need to see that adults have trouble dealing with death, and that they are not alone in dealing with it. It doesn't seem like the teachers have had any instructions as to how to deal themselves. Tragic!

I was never taught much about death as a child. It was never spoken about. The first funeral I ever went to was when I was 18. It was a close personal friend and it sent me into a tail spin. In contrast, my 12 year old daughter has been to 4 funerals in her short life. It doesn't seem to bother her as much as it does me. Evidently I am better at helping her deal than I am dealing myself.

Much prayers and hugs for your famliy!

Nini

It sounds like you may have done the right thing and let Allie stay home for a while.

This is just so tragic and I also feel for the teachers. I remember a few years ago when one of DH's students died during a baseball practice (he had an undiagnosed heart problem) and it took him a long time to deal with the loss.

D~ first off hugs and prayers

The only thing you can do for her is be there and listen. The idea of keeping her home for a while may be a good thing... I agree with everyone's ideas...yet there is no "right" choice, you have to do what you feel is best.

All of you are in my prayers.

~Jennifer

D, I'm so sorry that you are all dealing with this. Only you know what the right decision is for your daughter becuase there is no one knows her as well as you. I will keep praying for your daughter, your family and the community.

Your last few post have been heartbreaking. I am praying for Alli, your family, the families of those who are gone and the school and rest of the community. May they find peace and strength to pick up the pieces and carry on.

I pray that you and your DH will have wisdom and guidance in what is the right decision for Alli regarding school.

Sunshine

I know you understand why I have been MIA. I just wanted to stop by and say I am praying for all involved.

Thank you so much everyone. I don't know how I can say how truly thankful I am that you all are here, and understand the inner struggle we are going through right now. Your thoughts and prayers really mean so much.

I have not mentioned our school's situation on Facebook. I have been resisting doing so, just because the family of the 2nd boy who died asked that his name and anything to do with his death is not mentioned on Facebook. I understand their concern, and I somewhat think that FB has a bit to do with the student's potentially glamorizing the situation and feelings taking that snowball effect.

Here's a c&p of our email to the school authorities yesterday (removing all names of course)...

Good morning.

We are sending this email to the School Superintendent, Principal, and Alli's Counselor, as we are not sure which of you to address.

I am sure you are all getting many emails from concerned parents, and ours may just go into the stack unread.

The circumstances of the last week have had a profound effect on a great many people in the community.

As a family, none of us has any connections with any of the children who have tragically taken their own lives, nor do we have any connection with MS. We have never met any of them, and only know of them and their families through the school emails.

Having our oldest child start high school this year, and knowing none of these individuals, you would think that she would be unaffected by these tragedies. But that is not the case.

Talks of death have become a normal family conversation at dinner time. In the last week, talks of suicide and the intricacies of it have also become normal family conversation. Our daughter confided in us last week, after the first suicide, that the general feeling at school is one of great sadness and grief. So much so, that it made her very uncomfortable to be there. When we received a notice, this weekend, that there was another death, again we had a conversation. I was not surprised when Alli woke Monday morning, not feeling well. I offered to let her stay home. We feel that her upset stomach was more a nervousness about attending school, rather than actually being sick. We took Monday to really spend some more time with her. When we sent her to school this morning, again, we tried to prepare her for the gloominess that would probably be more apparent after a 3rd death yesterday, and we promised to pick her up if it was just too much for her.

We were a bit surprised when she sent us a text, not sure if she could make it through her day. We were even more surprised when she told us, that not only the students are incredibly upset, but her teachers are as well. So much so, that they are breaking down in front of their classes.

We understand the great sadness in the community right now. And we understand the great amount of grief that everyone is having to endure.

But our primary concern is not only our daughter, but the other kids who had no ties to any of these students at all, who are suddenly thrown into all this sadness and grief. Our daughter, who had no reason to be sad, is now missing school and her education because everyone around her is grieving. Allison, who loves to learn, is suddenly apprehensive about school because those around her are sad. And, our daughter, who should be mostly unaffected, is now affected.

This is not some contagious disease, but the sadness and pallor among the school is contagious. And we feel that something needs to be done about it.

Perhaps, asking the teachers - since the students look up to them for support - to voluntarily give up their classrooms for a few days to a substitute teacher, so those teachers who clearly need to grieve are able to grieve at home among their families, rather than in front of their class. By doing this, also giving those students, who wouldn't normally be affected, a chance to rebound and lift up the rest of their classmates.

We have decided to keep Allison home from school for a few days, until hopefully the school can return to some sort of normalcy. We have never felt that Allison (or Victoria, our youngest) should run from their problems. However, we do not feel that the current state of emotions at the school is a stable environment to be in right now.

Allison will continue to do all of her work. We will contact all of her teachers, and if necessary, she will turn in her work via fax/email so that she does not fall behind.

I was quite shocked to recieve a short reply from the Principal less than an hour later. I expected a lot of resistances, but instead he acknowledged our concerns, and attached a 4 page word document, that was later sent out to each family in the school district, highlighting what they have done, what they are doing and continuing to do, and what they intend to do in the future concerning the students. I believe he touched on all of my concerns, with exception to the teachers. Nothing was mentioned about them.

Once I recieved an acknowledgement from the Principal, I sent an email to all of Alli's teachers, requesting her work for the remainder of the week, and notifying them that she would not be in class.

Everyone has been very agreeable to Josh and I pulling her out of school during this time. I suspect a lot of parents are doing the same thing.

I had replies from all of her teachers with in an hour of sending that email, which included all of Allison's needed work assignments and any powerpoints she needed to watch, books needed to be read or movies to be watched. I was shocked that the material was sent so quickly - however, I suspect that they had sent it a few times before sending it to us.

I also suspect that the school itself is very agreeable to any decision the parents are making to keep their kids safe, whether it's pulling them out of the school for a few days or keeping them there.

So, Alli is home with me. She has a mountain of school work waiting for her. She will be having her bff over tonight for Pizza and Trick-or-Treating.

As of now, there are no deaths that I know of. It has only been less than 48 hours.

Again, thank you all for your care and concern for our family. Thank you for your prayers and hugs, they all mean so much to me.

************************************

In other news...

I was progressing quite well in my sewing room yesterday, until I got Alli's text. I managed to get almost the entire bag assembled, but once I got home from picking up Alli - I decided that part of it didn't sit right with me, so I seam ripped that part off, and did something else with it. I like it much better now.

I wanted to start appliqueing yesterday afternoon, but with everything going on - I did not get started with that. However, I plan to work on appliques all day today. As long as I finish them - I will continue to be on schedule.

Josh is picking up pizza for dinner - so I don't have to worry about making dinner tonight. I can just work all day.

Which will be good - because then Alli can sit here all day and do her homework.

Last night, Alli and I went to the second showing of V's play... It was so cute! There were parts of it that had us in hysterics, we were laughing so hard. We also went out to dinner together. I don't want Alli to think she is some sort of hermit - so I have been making a point of keeping her in contact with her friends and being social.

I hope you all have a wonderful Halloween!! Thank you for being such great friends to me, again - I am so very lucky!

D~

 

[mommy2mrb]

its is great the school has been so responsive, hope this will be the beginning of the healing for them all!

enjoy the day!

 

[Chicago Mo]

HAPPY HALLOWEEN D~

 

[disneychic2]

Wow, D~ I can't believe what all is going on in your community! I'm glad Alli is home and able to keep up with her school work and that the school was so quick to reply and so understanding. It probably took a couple of days for them to figure out a plan of action. Sounds like they're on the right track now.

Also, so good that you can go out and do normal things to help get Alli's mind off of the tragedies for a bit. It is probably taking her by surprise that she feels so sad, so I'm sure it's a confusing time for her. You and Josh are doing a great job of supporting her, understanding her needs and yet not shielding her too much. She is blessed to have parents who care so much and are so wise. I will continue to pray for your family and your community. Especially for the teens who may be part of the pact. Praying there will be NO MORE suicides!! My heart just breaks for all involved.

 

[oopsiDAISY]

It sounds like you are making wonderful decisions for Alli's well-being. She is blessed with great parents who love her very much.

 

[KatMark]

I'm glad the Principal and the teachers responded...that is good to hear.

I hope you have a wonderful Halloween.

 

[cogero]

Oh D I am so sad you are having to deal with this. I hope and pray the situation at school gets bettere.

I definately think you made the right decision pulling Alli out of school Poor dear.

 

[smile5sunshine]

Ugh, I feel so awful for the administration and staff at the school. I know this is probably an extremely difficult time for them as well. It is so hard because they have to balance so much, but I'm glad that they are being cooperative and understanding of your wishes to have Alli study at home for a few days. Hopefully the students and school will rebound quickly and return to normal so she can rejoin her classmates under better circumstances.

You and Josh are WONDERFUL parents!

Glad you are making great progress on the bag. I can't wait to see it!

Sunshine

 

[sewmess]

Sometimes stepping away from a situation helps you see the situation more clearly and calmly. Like Alli away from the situation at school and you with the situation with your bag seam

Hope everyone's Halloween will be good.

 

[DisNorth]

Happy Halloween!!
So sorry to hear about the tragedies in your community, D. Glad that the school understood about you pulling Alli out. It sounds like the right decision for her and hope she starts feeling better. Hope she has a productive day of school work and you have a productive day of sewing

 

[tatar63]

disneychic2 expressed my exact feelings...I am not good with words but want you to know I am thinking about your community and your family, praying for all!
Monica

 

[nannye]

Attempting to catch up and had to comment on your post about eating at the castle. I'm on page 58 so who knows if this has changed, BUT First trip with V, we ate at the castle. When I was planning 2nd trip, I booked CRT with the intention of canceling it. As did my friends. I wanted to do park Fare and Akershus so really there was NO need to do CRT.... I couldn't cancel it. I'm glad I didn't. We did breakfast first time, dinner second time. Food was fab. i had some complaints but honestly they were just where we got seated and totally unavoidable. After dinner and walking out I realized that no matter how old I am or how many times I go to Disney with V or some day with my own kids or even with my parents, There is nothing more magical than eating in Cinderella's castle and I've resigned myself to the fact that it's something I probably will never give up, despite the cost. Our last trip I had to pay OOP for 2 meals or maybe 3... can't remember but whatever. Totally worth it!

 

[nannye]

Oh my gosh D, I'm so sorry for the tragedy in your town. I do hope the schools are doing as much as possible to intervene as well talking about suicide, counsellors and such It's so important to be proactive and I hope the school is taking that action. Being a teenager is so hard. You think you are all grown up, yet your're not and to have all these feelings inside without knowing how to express them..... I think teenagers are the master of disguise and they think they are just fine until everything builds up and they don't know how to ask for help. Not that this applies to just teenagers, but anyone in general, I just know that being a teenager can be such a confusing time in a persons life.

Internet Hugs!

 

[nannye]

D I am so glad to see the school has responded to your letter, I do hope they consider the teachers and giving them grieving time as well. Since they aren't related to the students, here (canada/my school district) The would not be eligible for any berevement days. This is something your school seems to have overlooked as well, just because they are not related does not mean we do not grieve. I am only a supply teacher, but I know how close a teacher gets to their students, she celebrates their achievements and helpz battle fears, and make sense of the world. To overlook the teachers and think that the deaths of these students has no effect on them professionally is a great mistake.

I really hope to not hear of any more bad news.


In other news... I know I said I'd be decided by November first which is welll hmmm right now, it's 1 midnight after midnight. and I'm not. I think I'll just have to email my top2 choices or so and your opinions/ideas on them, see if they spark anything in you or you have an idea that will help me decide.

I hope some time off from school will help Alli! I would have done the exact same thing as you!

 

[DMGeurts]

its is great the school has been so responsive, hope this will be the beginning of the healing for them all!

enjoy the day!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN D~
​

Wow, D~ I can't believe what all is going on in your community! I'm glad Alli is home and able to keep up with her school work and that the school was so quick to reply and so understanding. It probably took a couple of days for them to figure out a plan of action. Sounds like they're on the right track now.

Also, so good that you can go out and do normal things to help get Alli's mind off of the tragedies for a bit. It is probably taking her by surprise that she feels so sad, so I'm sure it's a confusing time for her. You and Josh are doing a great job of supporting her, understanding her needs and yet not shielding her too much. She is blessed to have parents who care so much and are so wise. I will continue to pray for your family and your community. Especially for the teens who may be part of the pact. Praying there will be NO MORE suicides!! My heart just breaks for all involved.

It sounds like you are making wonderful decisions for Alli's well-being. She is blessed with great parents who love her very much.

I'm glad the Principal and the teachers responded...that is good to hear.

I hope you have a wonderful Halloween.

​

Oh D I am so sad you are having to deal with this. I hope and pray the situation at school gets bettere.

I definately think you made the right decision pulling Alli out of school Poor dear.

Ugh, I feel so awful for the administration and staff at the school. I know this is probably an extremely difficult time for them as well. It is so hard because they have to balance so much, but I'm glad that they are being cooperative and understanding of your wishes to have Alli study at home for a few days. Hopefully the students and school will rebound quickly and return to normal so she can rejoin her classmates under better circumstances.

You and Josh are WONDERFUL parents!

Glad you are making great progress on the bag. I can't wait to see it!

Sunshine

Sometimes stepping away from a situation helps you see the situation more clearly and calmly. Like Alli away from the situation at school and you with the situation with your bag seam

Hope everyone's Halloween will be good.

Happy Halloween!!
So sorry to hear about the tragedies in your community, D. Glad that the school understood about you pulling Alli out. It sounds like the right decision for her and hope she starts feeling better. Hope she has a productive day of school work and you have a productive day of sewing

disneychic2 expressed my exact feelings...I am not good with words but want you to know I am thinking about your community and your family, praying for all!
Monica

Attempting to catch up and had to comment on your post about eating at the castle. I'm on page 58 so who knows if this has changed, BUT First trip with V, we ate at the castle. When I was planning 2nd trip, I booked CRT with the intention of canceling it. As did my friends. I wanted to do park Fare and Akershus so really there was NO need to do CRT.... I couldn't cancel it. I'm glad I didn't. We did breakfast first time, dinner second time. Food was fab. i had some complaints but honestly they were just where we got seated and totally unavoidable. After dinner and walking out I realized that no matter how old I am or how many times I go to Disney with V or some day with my own kids or even with my parents, There is nothing more magical than eating in Cinderella's castle and I've resigned myself to the fact that it's something I probably will never give up, despite the cost. Our last trip I had to pay OOP for 2 meals or maybe 3... can't remember but whatever. Totally worth it!

Oh my gosh D, I'm so sorry for the tragedy in your town. I do hope the schools are doing as much as possible to intervene as well talking about suicide, counsellors and such It's so important to be proactive and I hope the school is taking that action. Being a teenager is so hard. You think you are all grown up, yet your're not and to have all these feelings inside without knowing how to express them..... I think teenagers are the master of disguise and they think they are just fine until everything builds up and they don't know how to ask for help. Not that this applies to just teenagers, but anyone in general, I just know that being a teenager can be such a confusing time in a persons life.

Internet Hugs!

D I am so glad to see the school has responded to your letter, I do hope they consider the teachers and giving them grieving time as well. Since they aren't related to the students, here (canada/my school district) The would not be eligible for any berevement days. This is something your school seems to have overlooked as well, just because they are not related does not mean we do not grieve. I am only a supply teacher, but I know how close a teacher gets to their students, she celebrates their achievements and helpz battle fears, and make sense of the world. To overlook the teachers and think that the deaths of these students has no effect on them professionally is a great mistake.

I really hope to not hear of any more bad news.


In other news... I know I said I'd be decided by November first which is welll hmmm right now, it's 1 midnight after midnight. and I'm not. I think I'll just have to email my top2 choices or so and your opinions/ideas on them, see if they spark anything in you or you have an idea that will help me decide.

I hope some time off from school will help Alli! I would have done the exact same thing as you!

Thank you again - everyone. No more news of any other tragedies, I pray that there aren't any more and the community can begin to heal.

Allison is doing well at home - it seems as if nothing is out of the ordinary. She tackled her mountain of homework yesterday, and made a nice dent in it. She loves to study and learn, and I am thankful for that right now, because I don't have to constantly harass her to get her work done.

I still feel like I over reacted slightly - but I also feel like the safety of my girls is always my primary concern, so I feel like I did the right thing. I have told Alli that if she is up to going back to school, I will take her - but I just really want her to process all of this before being thrown into all those other emotions again.

It seems, otherwise, our lives are back to normal.

***************************************

I spent the entire day in my sewing room yesterday, while Alli was doing her school work. I managed to finish those appliques, but it took me aaaaaaaalll day. I started at 8am, and didn't finish until 4:30pm. Happy that I am still on schedule though.

Last night, Josh got home from work, and he remembered that V's volcano was due today. So, last minute, he & V built a volcano on Halloween night. LOL They worked fast and furious to get it done, then they painted it. I have to drop it off at school on my way into work this morning.

In all my spare time, I've been working on a new pattern, and I am pretty excited about it!

A few months ago, Marianne mentioned to me that I really should make some sort of DSLR camera bag, with a removable insert... So, I've been sketching and sketching, and I think I've finally come up with something I like. I am hoping to make my first prototype over my TG break, and what I don't finish - I am hoping to over my Christmas break. I am very excited about this! I know that I will have the insert available as a seperate purchase, so once you purchase it, you won't have to again - you can just get a different bag - if you choose. Or if you have your own insert that will fit - no need to purchase mine.

I have also been sketching out ideas for a different Travel Organizer... That one might be a while...

I plan to start full previews of my Crazy Days items in my PTR today... I didn't realize I had such little time left - I really should have started showing them yesterday. Oh well.

I hope you all have a wonderful day today - and again - thank you for all of your prayers, support and concern.

D~

 

[disneychic2]

Sounds like you've been so busy! I find it so amazing that once you scratched the surface of your creativity you hit a gusher! All this talent was in there just waiting to be discovered.

So glad to hear Allie is doing so well and is keeping up with her homework on her own. I'm sure it has helped so much to know that you understand her feelings and support her.

I had to laugh about the last minute volcano! It brought back memories of when one of our 4 had last minute assignments that we had to scramble around getting completed. My daughter just reminded me about a pillow she was supposed to make for home ec and she messed it up so badly and was in tears, so I took it and "fixed" it for her...and I only got a B! She said she had messed it up so badly there wasn't a lot I could do. I don't remember that at all, but I don't doubt it for a minute.

Good luck with all you have to do, and I'm looking forward to the previews of your latest work.

 

[DMGeurts]

I am still hoping to have a couple more accessories to go with this set.

I wanted these bags to be kind of a "basic bag" - and I mean that very lightly.

I've based them off of the Fab 5 characters.

Each one has a nice face shot applique. A coordinating wallet/lanyard combo, and a zipper pull.

I didn't want to go "over the top" with any of these bags, I just wanted to do something nice, that hopefully someone will like.

First up is my Mickey UPB set...

D~

 

[disneychic2]

Oh My Gosh! I love that lining fabric! I've never seen that before. It is a wonderful set and so well done. I'm sure you're tired of hearing that. I'm running out of superlatives to describe your work!

 

[KatMark]

Wonderful job, D! I love the pattern.

I'm so happy that Ali is doing well at home and keeping up with her homework.
We had a tragedy in a neighboring suburb yesterday. Two young children, ages 6 and 8, were stabbed by the mother of one of them (and she babysits the other). The school called in the crisis group immediately. I can't imagine what that does to a young child.